DVD Movie Review - Interstellar

The Nolan brothers return for a remarkable story about space travel, love, family, and the lengths humans will go to keep our race alive.

STORY:

Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) is an ex-pilot for NASA that spends his days farming.  The Earth is slowly dying and the only food that exists now is corn, putting the human race in peril.  Cooper struggles with each day, because he wants what is best for his family, but also wants something more out of life.  So when his daughter Murph (Mackenzie Foy) discovers an anomaly, Cooper can't help but get involved.  And what he discovers may change the future of the human race forever.  Gravity, black holes, superb acting, falling sand, book shelves, love, and family bonds ensue.

"I'm just saying, I know who the Batman is...I know."

THOUGHTS:

Christopher Nolan and his brother, Jonathan, know how to tell a story.  They never hold the audience's hand and they never reveal all their cards up front.  They give you bits and pieces of the whole picture as the film moves along.  It keeps the audience glued to their seat in anticipation and it builds suspense throughout.  These are the traits of great storytellers and luckily they're still putting out movies for the world to enjoy.

If you go into Interstellar knowing nothing about the film, there are a few key points that might make some movie-goers veer away from this story.  First off, this is a Sci-Fi film that's set in a somewhat near future.  So you're going to get space travel; conversations about black holes; confusing time loops; weird planets; talking robots with a sense of humor; big words; and a story that's grounded, yet still farfetched.  But all this is evened out by a main plot that revolves around Cooper and his family.  The question he faces is how far would he go to save his family?  To save his children?  And this is what makes Interstellar so compelling.  Yes, it has fantastic sets and amazing visuals that will make your eyes fall out of your head, but it also has a ton of heart.  This is more a film about a father’s love for his children than anything else.  So if you're okay with all of the above and are prepared to pay extra special attention to everything that is going on in the story, then you will love Interstellar.  If anything about the above turns you off, then it's probably best to avoid the movie or wait until it pops up for free on cable.  There's even a simpler way to put it: if you liked all the puzzles and mystery behind Inception, then you'll enjoy this film, because the same kind of twists are present here too.

"Yeah, we had something similar back in the 80's, they were called cassettes.  What kind of 

watts does this baby pump out?"

THE ACTING:

One word: fantastic.  And not just from Matthew McConaughey—even though he's practically the entire movie—but from the whole cast.  As per usual, Nolan knows how to direct his actors/actresses and it shows from the first scene all the way to the last.  The story takes McConaughey on an emotional roller coaster, and if you've seen his acting in True Detective or any of his more recent films, like Mud, then you know he can handle whatever the script can throw at him.  From excited, to sad, to depressed, to smooth, every scene is delivered to perfection.  Now, even though her part might not be as big as some of the other supporting roles, the young Mackenzie Foy (Murph, Cooper's daughter) is absolutely amazing too.  Her ability can be summed up in one scene: her father is leaving and she doesn't want him to go.  Her talent in this short scene is tremendous and proves that great acting can be found at any age.

Anne Hathaway plays Brand, another astronaut tasked with ensuring the existence of the human race.  Her role doesn't require many different levels of emotion, but she does fit the personality of a scientist quite well.  Brand's father, Professor Brand, played by Michael Caine is another perfect casting choice.  He has his moment in the sun later on, just like the emotional scene in The Dark Knight Rises.  Casey Affleck and Jessica Chastain both assume the older versions of Cooper's children later in the movie and both do an extremely well job of showing the longing of needing a father. And finally, John Lithgow pops up to dish out wisdom, while Matt Damon appears in the film to up the suspense towards the end.

"Listen, I'm not joking.  I've solved math problems as a janitor...this Astronaut crap is a 

walk in the park."

WHY YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT:

The Sci-Fi aspect of the film is one reason you may be turned off from the movie, but if you like space travel and screwy time loops, there may…may be another reason why you find the film hard to swallow.  The ending, like all films that deal with alternate realities and time shifts and the such, may present you with a plot hole if you look deep enough into the story time line and the events leading up to the ending.  Some people will be able to forgive this plot hole and just enjoy the amazing story unfolding, while others will bang their head against the wall because the ending might not exactly work.  If you've watched other films that have had time loops and slight plot holes and were fine with their endings, then this won't bother you at all.  If dissecting a film with a magnifying glass and a chalkboard is your thing, then you might have a smidgen of a problem by the end.

"I just have this funny feeling that getting in these tubes is how we end up with an alien 

bursting out of our chest."

CONCLUSION:

Interstellar is a magnificent addition to the Great Wall of Nolan.  The film carries the emotionally weight you're expecting, the visuals you're craving, and the superb acting that every movie needs.  You'll be blown away by the special effects and have your heart strings plucked by the touching story about family.  Now, if you found Inception to be a hot turd that did nothing but confuse you, then it's probably best not to spend any money on this film.  But if you love Sci-Fi and love the past work of the Nolan brothers, then this movie is a no-brainer.  Interstellar delivers on every level you've come to expect by Nolan…and then some.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus ½ star for slight plot hole)

DVD Movie Review - Wild Card

Review Note: By now, if you're going to see or rent or buy a Statham movie, then you already know what to expect.  The film most likely will not be Oscar bait.  Simple dialogue will run throughout, action will be prevalent, and someone, somewhere, at some point, will be getting kicked in the face.  These are Statham trademarks, and as such, from here on out, P&P will use a new Statham system to rate each of his movies.  One Statham being the worst (think Parker) to five Stathams being the best (think The Transporter).  Just keep in mind that a five Statham rating doesn't necessarily mean the film is as good as a regular five star review.

 

STORY:

Nick Wild (Jason Statham) is a security consultant in Vegas that has a secret past.  He spends most of his days as a degenerate gambler and con man.  But when a woman he knows gets the snot beat out of her, he does the one thing he doesn't want to do: he gets involved.  Soon after, Sin City's mafia is hunting Nick down, while he attempts to gamble and beat people with spoons.  Guitar riffs, Sofia Vergara's assets, house-trained toupees, silly laughs, third grade dialogue, and butter knife fighting ensues.

WARNING: Slight story spoilers ahead.  If you want be surprised, then do not continue.  Then again, this is a Statham movie and they're not known for being plot heavy.  So does it really matter?

"Maybe this Wild Card script is as bad as everyone says it is.  Then again, I am going 

to get paid.  Screw it."

THOUGHTS:

If there was ever a film that felt like it was shot over a long weekend by a bunch of buddies that were getting tanked up and just happened to have decent cameras lying around, sadly, it would be Wild Card.  A film's director isn't only required to yell cut and action, but he's also required to direct each and every actor, essentially getting them into character.  But that might be difficult when working with a script that doesn't have an overarching storyline.  When the film begins we catch Nick Wild as a little bit of a con man.  Then we see him accept a job as a bodyguard.  And then he just happens to gamble.  Along the way his friend is beat up and he decides to beat those guys up.  And after the very short hour and twenty minute running time, you'll wonder if the script was based on a book of short stories about the same character, because that's how it feels.  None of the subplots have anything to do with each other.  And the only cohesiveness throughout the film is Statham's hunky body.  Take that away and you’re left with random movie sequences.

CLICHÉ:

Almost every film set in Vegas will feature some type of gambling…obviously.  But this film takes the clichés and pounds you over the head with them: The con man trying to get out of filthy Vegas; the Italian mafia running things; the prostitute that takes a beating; the naive gambler that needs to be shown the ropes; and on and on and on.  All of these plots have been written to death, which helps Wild Card become just another story to add to the heap.  So where is the only place this movie could possible stand out?  Statham's action sequences, of course.

"What if I told you, I could beat you to death with this styrofoam cup?  Would that make 

you shut up?" 

THE ACTION:

This by far is the bread and butter of any Statham movie.  It's why guys watch anything he does.  You want to see him creatively beat someone to death in some new, twisted, exciting way.  Everyone knows the faster the punches, the more brutal the deaths, the more thrilling the movie.  So, unfortunately, you'll be slightly disappointed with the action in this film.  There are exactly three fight scenes.  One in the beginning.  One in the middle.  And—you guessed it—one at the very end.  The first one is a throwaway, because they took everything that makes martial arts awesome and threw it out the window.  The film actually shoots the first fight scene in slow motion.  Jason Statham is slow motion?  The Statham should never be in slow motion.  Why?  Because you could make Ronald McDonald look good kicking someone's ass in slow motion.  Statham needs to be set loose, not held back.  That leaves two more fight scenes.  There's one in a casino, which is slightly entertaining, and the last fight at the very end.  Now, you've seen Statham fight with oil and fire hoses before, but for the first time he will kick ass like he just came from a tea party.  The weapons of choice: a spoon and butter knife.  This hysterical action sequence almost makes up for the rest of the movie…almost.

THE ACTING:

As usual, the best acting in the film goes to Statham, but only because he's been playing this same character for years now.  It's basically himself in front of the camera.  No more.  No less.  Michael Angarano also joins the cast as Cyrus Kinnick, the young man that hires Nick Wild as his bodyguard.  Angarano will be the most annoying person in the film until the very end.  It's as this point that his acting skills finally shine through the silly character they wrote for him.  Milo Ventimiglia plays the villain, Danny DeMarco.  He shows up for terrible dialogue, cliché statements, and to get his ass beat.  Dominik Garcia-Lorido also gets beaten as Holly, the character that enables the Mafia plot line.  Most of the time she's quiet and busted up, but when she does open her mouth, expect low grade dialogue with little emotion.  Stanley Tucci pops up in the film to be a smooth mediator and to hear whining from the lead actors.  And last but not least, Sofia Vergara brings her assets to a tiny role for five minutes and nothing more.

"You dick!  No one talks about Mickey Mouse that way.  I love that rat."

CONCLUSION:

Wild Card is a stunning disappointment in the kick-ass movie genre.  Not enough action sequences and almost little to no emotion throughout the film, leaves you with absolutely no worries about the main character's life.  With dialogue that comes in at the third grade level and dozens of clichés floating throughout the plot, there's really no reason to watch this film.  Unless you want to see Jason Statham kick several asses with just a spoon and a butter knife.  If that's the case, rent the film, watch the last ten minutes, and then move on with your life.

2 out of 5 Stathams (add a Statham for having Statham in the movie and another Statham for the spoon fight)

Video Game Review - Helldivers

Helldivers: Hilarity in a small but unique package.

STORY:

You, soldier, are part of the great Super Earth race and at this time the universe is in trouble.  Three hostile races are attempting to take over and destroy our beautiful way of life.  Your mission is to train with the best of the best and then be fired down to a hostile planet in a tube and eradicate all living life.  Just make sure you do not shoot your fellow teammates in the balls.

The story of Helldivers is exactly what you think it is: almost non-existent.  But that's okay, because the game doesn't claim to be anything more than what it really is…*cough* Destiny *cough*.  Aside from a humorous beginning and a war recap every time you log in, don't expect too much.  Helldivers is more about getting on a map and shooting things.  So it won't bog you down with trying to explain why you are there.

"Sir, why am I climbing into this pod?  You act like we're going to be fired out into ahhhhhhhh!"

THOUGHTS:

It's not the simple but elegant art and layout that'll first get your attention in Helldivers.  It's not the fact that the game can become unbelievably hard.  It's not even the sophisticated gameplay that'll keep you engrossed.  It's the humor that's buried underneath the surface of Helldivers every step of the way.  From the silly introduction, which has a remarkable Starship Troopers feel, to continually having friendly fire on…you'll not only enjoy your time with this top-down, twin-stick shooter, but you'll have plenty of moments of laughter to boot.

If you're still trying to understand what type of game this is…then picture this.  There's a big video game party happening and in the corner, having a drink all by herself is Diablo 3.  She had her moment in the sun, when the world was playing with all her buttons, but now she spends most of the time wishing there was something more in life.  Then there's a knock at the door and Destiny walks in covered in a half billion dollar suit.  He's kind of shallow, but occasionally can be a heck of a good time to hang out with.  Well Diablo 3 is so moved by Destiny's my-crap-don't-stink attitude that the two of them hit it off perfectly.  What happens next?  Well they make sweet monkey love and a few pixelated months later…Helldivers is born. 

PROCEDURALLY GENERATED ART:

Areas and planets are procedurally generated throughout the game, so that no two planets are laid out exactly the same.  If you enjoyed some of the layouts and scenery in Diablo 3 then you'll love this game.  The only difference is Helldivers has a Sci-Fi coat of paint, while Diablo 3 is decorated in a Fantasy motif.  The art and feel of Helldivers is simplistic but perfect for the environment of the gameplay.  Areas can be lush with vegetation or be desert like in appearance.  The point is the maps that you're running around in—for the most part—are varied, leading you to not get as bored as quickly.

"Grenade!  Heads up--oh crap, we're going to need another Dave.  Corporal, order 

us another Dave." 

GAMEPLAY:

The game is a twin-stick shooter: meaning left stick moves the character and the right stick aims your weapon.  Firing your gun (right trigger) and throwing a grenade (left trigger) are like any other game and are simple enough to pull off when in the heat of battle; though the fun comes in the form of stratagems.  These are supplies you can order depending on your load out.  Need a turret?  Order that sucker.  How about a mech suit?  Also available.  Extra ammo for you or your pals?  Yep, that's there too.  Stratagems are acquired by leveling your character or performing certain missions.  But the best part about them is how you order them.  You have to type in a code correctly for them to arrive.  So holding the L1 down allows you to see the codes and then in the heat of battle you might have to press: up, up, down, left, up, down, down, right.  Or was that last one a left?  This makes the game challenging and fun at the same time, and working together as a four man team becomes critical in harder battles.  One squad mate might be holding back bugs, while another is calling for ammo.  And the third guy is calling in an air strike, while teammate four is trying to call for evacuation.  If done correctly, there’s a sense of accomplishment felt at the end of every mission.  And once the mission is over you return to your ship to upgrade weapons, switch load outs, see any perks acquired, and to twirl…twirling is essential, especially if you want that "dancing queen" trophy. 

"Wait...was it left, down, down, left or left, down, down, right?  Oh screw it...Grenade!" 

"Dammit!  Someone order us another Bob." 

MULTIPLAYER:

This is where the fun happens.  Why?  Friendly fire.  At no time is there ever an ability to turn off the accidents that will happen during battle.  You will shoot your squad mates dead.  You will throw a grenade and probably kill one or two of your friends.  You will definitely get gunned down by your own turret at some point.  But it's all in good fun.  The game is designed to be funny.  Killing a squad mate isn't usually good for the current mission, but it's hilarious.  If one of your teammates accidentally steps on a mine, it'll probably blow up a couple more people.  But these are the instances that you'll remember.  You won't remember winning every battle, but—damn—you will remember that time you blew your friend’s face off with a shotgun.  Or the time you watched a teammate walk directly into a turret and have his head shredded.  Hilariously stuff. 

But this also presents a problem: if none of your friends are online at the moment, you might have to jump in with strangers.  Now, you could make friends instantly by saying hello, but there may be an instance where you appear on a planet to help and—BAM—one of the teammates turns around and shoots you directly in the eyeball.  Funny but not funny at the same time.  At least you'd know where you stand with your new team, right?

Another cool aspect of Helldivers is the ability for all three platforms to communicate with each other.  So not only will you be playing with people on PS4 if you're on the PS4, but you'll also be playing with people on the PS3 and Vita.  Same goes for the purchase of the game: buy it on one platform and you get it on all three platforms.  So finding and playing with friends is even easier.

REPETITION:

The real question to ask is whether or not Helldivers will get old.  Will landing on a planet and filling an objective and then acquiring an upgrade start to wear thin?  The easy answer to that is yes, because no matter what you’re playing, everything gets old.  Everything becomes repetitious.  It's the way of gaming.  But if you still enjoy Diablo 3 after hundreds of hours or you're still teaming up and running a Raid in Destiny for the umpteenth time, you may have more fun with Helldivers than someone else.

"Hey guys, where's Johnny?"

"See that tank?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, it landed on him. Private, order us another Johnny."

CONCLUSION:

Helldivers may not be the next game of the year and may not have an engrossing story like The Last of Us, but for the price, you're getting a lot of bang for your buck.  If you enjoy games like Dentiny, where you continually go on mission after mission, and top down adventures like Diablo 3, then Helldivers is right up your alley.  If both of those games sound boring and uninteresting, then Helldivers will not change your mind.  With elegant art, a humorous undertone, and teammate mistakes that'll make you crack up, Helldivers becomes a small addictive game that will keep you coming back for more comical pain.

3.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for missing story and a half star for slight repetitiveness)

Video Game Review - The Order: 1886

The Order: 1886 wastes no time revealing its hand.  From the moment it begins you're bombarded with beautiful graphics, tremendous cut-scenes, and top-notch voice acting.  But where does that leave the gameplay and story?

STORY:

In an alternate 1886 London, werewolves run a mock and only one small group of knights can stop them: The Order.  The knights have traded in their swords for more practical weapons like shotguns and hand cannons, but their sworn oath to take out the Lycans has remained the same.  Players assume the role of Galahad: a valiant knight that isn't old, but experienced with a sexy mustache and mussed hair.  Nothing will stop Sir Galahad from tracking down the source of this terrible evil…except maybe an unfinished story.

"I don't know about you, but after this...I'm going back to that brothel to catch a few more STD's."

THOUGHTS:

If there was ever a video game that allowed players to sit on a couch and pig out while almost gaming, this would be it.  There are equally the same amounts of cut-scenes as there is gunplay.  So before you start the The Order: 1886, make sure you have a gigantic bucket of popcorn, a hotdog wrapped in bacon, one large fry, a cheesesteak, fish and chips, a milkshake, and a box of junior mints to finish it all off.  Because this is one long movie and just a small box of Raisinets is not going to cut it. 

You might notice when you start The Order that a percentage of the screen is missing.  Do not attempt to look under the sofa or in between the cushions…it’s actually not supposed to be there.  Did the developer add the black bars at the top and bottom of the screen to make the game more cinematic?  Or just to decrease the amount of pixels, because it couldn't run at full 1080p?  This is anyone's guess.  But it's best not to think about it and push on. 

The Order is beautiful.  In fact, it's one of the most beautiful games the PS4 has in its arsenal at the moment.  The detail to the characters and the extremely well crafted guns are some of the best pixelated artistry you'll see on console.  On top of the gorgeous art, you get astounding voice over and character animations.  The slight changes in facial expressions allow you to see a protagonist go from happy to sad to worried with just an eye adjustment.  And watching one of the main characters contemplate their next move is breathtaking.  But the problem is gamers have watched movies before.  We've sat in a theater or at home and have seen great acting on screen.  So whether or not you enjoy yourself, all comes down to the gameplay.

"I know you can't do anything about your ugly face, but a Tic Tac could possibly solve that halitosis."

GAMEPLAY:

The few and far between gun fights that happen within The Order are heavily inspired by Gears of War.  You might be saying, "Good, I love Gears of War," but do you really remember all the immense battles in those games?  The massive fights you'd get in and the fun weapons you'd be able to use?  Well forget all that while you’re playing The Order.  The closest thing you get to fun, is at one point your character uses a rocket launcher for a couple of minutes.  Aside from that, most of the time is spent using different rifles, a few machine guns, and the same pistols.  Now, it may sound like a Call of Duty type game, but the gunplay is cliché and uninspired.  Duck and wait…return fire and then rinse and repeat.  Now, a few of the sequences do have enemies dressed up like The Man in the Iron Mask, but they are just bullet sponges.  You literally have to sink over 15 shots into these idiots to put them down and their shotgun—no matter if you're behind cover or not—stings and hurts you.  So the gun "play" just becomes slightly more tedious and frustrating.

Now…at one point the shootouts do get turned up to eleven and that's when you're fighting in a kitchen area.  Why?  Because pots and pans, man.  Pots and pans.  The physics in some parts of the game is actually entertaining.  For instance, in the kitchen you'll have more fun shooting the hanging pots then the actual enemies that are trying to kill you.  But sheer awesomeness doesn't surface until you get to the warehouse and the game begins to mimic a county fair.  The enemies will actually pour out of one side of the screen like ducks and it's your job to take them down.  The only thing this sequence was missing was the ding sound as each enemy was shot in the head.  Nothing like nostalgia, right?

"Hmmm...small alley with cover carefully placed here and there.  Yep, pretty much what I expected." 

THE WEREWOLVES:

Sprinkled in between the gun battles and long cut-scenes are a few werewolf scenarios.  Actually there are two kinds: one scenario puts you in a large room and exactly three Lycans will charge at you.  You shoot and dodge and then press another button to take them down.  The other scenario is more like an interactive movie: a giant Lycan growls and slashes and you press the button prompts to avoid being eaten.  The first scenario sounds like fun, but with the QTE included to dodge, it becomes outrageously stupid and tedious.  The second scenario is actually copied twice in the game and is ridiculous.  If you think you're actually making the moves shown on screen you're sadly mistaken.  Because there are times when you’re fighting the giant werewolf and trying to press a button, but nothing happens.  Why?  Because it's not scripted at that moment.  So you'll have to wait for the script to kick in and then one of your button mashes will finally go through.  Kevin Sorbo has the perfect reaction to these sequences.

THE STEALTH:

There's not much to say except the stealth in the game is terrible.  Done.  You would think with all the massive stealth titles out there to pull reference from, like Hitman, or Splinter Cell, that these areas would be fun.  Nope.  Just more button prompts.  And if you fail pressing that one button, you have to do the entire area over again.  There's no running away or punching the guy in the face or causing the sequence to go from stealth to action.  There's nothing.  You either do the stealth exactly as the game tells you or you're dead.  Fail.

HOW IS THE STORY:

Yes…how is the story?  Well, do you like your stories to have no ending?  How about a love story that really doesn't matter?  Or how about characters that basically are just pixelated bodies thrown in to take up space?  If so, then you'll love the story.  The funny thing is all the ingredients were there for a fantastic romp: Old school London, Steampunk, gorgeous weapons, werewolves, Tesla, the Knights of the Round Table, and even Jack the Ripper.  But it turns out that the actual execution of the story is more like the Three Stooges trying to bake a cake.  They have all the right ingredients.  They even have the recipe on how to it, but for some reason everything turns out blowing up in their faces.  When a main character gets hurt, you won't even care because they haven't been explored yet.  And then when the ending leaves story plots up in the air (can you say PlayStation franchise) you’re left scratching your head with the controller.

"I have to find that sniper...but first I must read every newspaper in the room and 

look at every photograph."

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE:

The Order could have been that much more interesting if the player could have chosen—just in a couple of spots—how the story played out.  But instead your hand is held while you walk through scripted event after scripted event.  There's no weaving your own path or telling your own story.  You basically sit there and watch a movie unfold, while being prompted to push a button every once in a while.  Cool story, bro.

HOW TO MAKE A SHORT GAME LONGER:

The Order is short.  About seven hours with half that time being cut-scenes.  But it didn't need to be that long.  It feels as though the developers had a good few hours and then thought, "Well, crap…how do we make it longer?"  And some joker in the back of the room was like, "Let's make the main character read the paper and look at old photographs."  And everyone cheered and slapped that guy in the ass and said, "gg."  Not only do these boring events take place, but you'll also spend time searching bookcases and an entire warehouse for certain things...just like real life.  And you know how much fun looking for a needle in a haystack is, so there's no need to go into detail.  Also, your character feels like he weighs two thousand pounds and attempting to push the thumb stick to get him to move is horrific.  They actually slowed him down in areas so wandering around would take even longer.  If you pulled out the searching sequences, the walking sequences, and the studying objects sequences, the game would literally take about four hours…tops.  But they had to make it feel longer.  And it sure does.  It feels so long in parts you'll completely stop looking at newspapers and disregard trophies just to get to the next cut-scene or…hopefully a gun battle.

"Man, everyday these mobile games get more and more complicated.  What'll they think of next?"

CONCLUSION:

The Order: 1886 shows Playstation fans what's possible in terms of graphics and beauty.  And Ready at Dawn took a shot at attempting something new in gaming and should be commended for that.  But with uninspired gameplay, and sequences that completely bog down the flow of the story, you'd be much better off spending your hard earn money on another game or waiting for this one to go on sale.  The upside is the sequel is definitely coming and with this mess already out of the way, hopefully the next game focuses on just fixing all the problems.  Imagine what a sequel would be like if the graphics and beauty remained, but the story and gameplay was also top-notch?  Complete gaming bliss.

2.5 out of 5 Stars (add a star for graphics & beauty, and ½ star for voice-over)