Should Dragon Age: Inquisition have won 2014's GOTY?

There's no denying it, Dragon Age: Inquisition is a massive achievement in gaming.  The graphics are top notch no matter what platform you play on, the voice acting is exquisite, and the story is engrossing.  Yep, Bioware broke the mold when they created DA:I, so much so that the game received numerous 2014 GOTY awards throughout the vast Internet.  And even though Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor walked away with eight of the nine DICE awards it was nominated for, Dragon Age snatched the title of GOTY right from under Talion's nose.  But does that make Dragon Age: Inquisition a perfect game?  Is it possible there could be a few scuff marks on the armor that most people seem to overlook?  Well…anything is possible.

GLITCHES:

Let's start with the most obvious problem that all games this size have: glitches.  If you're unaware, do a search for Dragon Age: Inquisition problems and you'll see numerous websites devoted to existing bugs in every platform of the game.  Now, these bugs are nowhere near the level of the infamous Assassin's Creed Unity debacle, but some are story breakers.  From stubborn doors to idiotic puzzles to inaccessible war tables, Inquisition has gamers pulling their hair out.  The best part is a few of the bugs aren't so apparent, so you won't know the game is trolling you until a few a hours later, when the story isn't progressing the way it should.  From quest scripting errors to broken shields, gamers have had a tough time getting around and through all the bugs in an attempt to create their perfect story.  But code related problems can always be fixed down the line with patches, so let's talk about areas that can't.

"Wow, they really want me to walk all the way over there?  Who's got that kinda time?  I have to get

home and set the DVR, check email, finish some office work...this Mage crap is for the birds."

TOO LONG:

Most gamers today enjoy a good RPG for about 20 hours.  They either take a few days and crush the game in long stretches or chip away at the story one hour at a time whenever they have a chance.  But Dragon Age: Inquisition is a different breed of gigantic.  Parts of the gaming community have purposely avoided it because they just don't have the time to get through it all.  Or they started the game, but after 15 hours in and numerous quests still unfinished, have just given up on the idea of playing and went on to something much more satisfying in a shorter amount of time.  Is this really a problem with the game though?  It wouldn't be if you were given the ability to run straight through the main quest…but you can't.  To progress further in the main story you need to gain power points.  And how do you get said power points?  By pushing your way through side quests.  So yes, you're forced to run available side quests in order to finish the main quest.  This is where most gamers will lose interest and put the game down for a later date when they have more time…which probably will never come.

REPETITIVE COMBAT:

Throughout Dragon Age: Inquisition you'll gain new powers or skills or options to beat something's face in with a shield.  But in reality, you can't use all the skills you learn all the time.  Most of the time you're just spamming the Basic Attack button while you wait for your foe to fall over.  Sure you could prolong any battle you want by switching the camera to tactical view, but having a game that's already dancing around the 60 hour mark or longer, do you really want to micromanage every battle to make it seem like you’re doing more than just spamming the Basic Attack button?  And if you set your character up according to how you want to play, you'll just have your favorite set of fighting options anyway and those will continue to stay pretty much the same through the entire game.  Now, if you don't think the game seems that repetitive, then watch it being streamed live.  After a few hours of the same bow animations or sparkling Mage magic, you'll understand completely.

"I think throwing that rock just pissed it off.  What now genius?" 

DRAGON FIGHTS:

To make repetitive matters worse we come to the supposed climax fights of Inquisition.  If you're like any other gamer, seeing the name (Dragon Age) and then finding out you can battle dragons would make any fantasy lover lick the game disc.  But have you actually fought a dragon in Inquisition yet?  They can be some of the most boring half hour gaming exercises of your life.  Most of the time is spent, again, holding that Basic Attack button down while you watch what party members need a health potion.  Then just rinse and repeat for a very long time until the dragon collapses.  And it's not that fighting a dragon is boring, it's the amazingly long time the fight can go on.  Maybe if the beasts wouldn't throw up their shields as often as they do, taking them down would be more fun, but as it stands they are one of the most boring aspects of game.  And with a game title like that, you'd think they'd be an absolute blast.

"Everyone get behind me! We can take this dragon.  And we'll--guys?  Guys?  You know...hiding 

behind a tree isn't going to make it go away."

BORING STORY PARTS:

Inquisition has so many quests that anyone with ADHD would probably end up in a mental ward after a few hours.  Finding a hidden tomb or uncovering secret enemy camps are highlights of Inquisition.  But has anyone gone through the puzzles to get into the temple of Mythal?  Picture this: you're barreling through the game and the story is just building up when—BAM—puzzles.  Now, granted you can navigate around them and just kill everyone, but most people will want to do them to continue their story.  To exacerbate the issue, there's a bug on PC that turns off the glowing plates for absolutely no reason, making the player think they're doing something wrong.  Way to Troll Bioware.  On top of the puzzles, there's one quest that dramatically takes the story and crushes it with the most uninteresting gameplay: Wicked eyes and wicked hearts.  This is the quest at the masquerade ball.  Sure, in retrospect, Bioware probably felt that a change of pace would be good for the game.  But when you've already spent dozens of hours killing things, searching tombs, uncovering books, and finding out secrets, the last thing you want to do is eavesdrop on NPC conversations.  Now, the quest as a whole isn't a bad idea.  The problem lies in having to execute it perfectly to get the ending you want.  Again, you could gain little favor of the court and have it end the opposite of what story you're trying to tell, but if you want certain events to take place, then you better listen to everything and search everywhere for statues and coins…and don't be late for the ball while doing so.  This made the quest confusing and tedious, taking a RPG action title and drowning it in Dragon Age politics.  Oh and what's with that one statue above the table, Bioware?  Do you know how long you have jump and move around just to get it?  Fail.

"I just wish one of my Re-tweets would get a Re-tweet.  Just one..." 

CONCLUSION:

Dragon Age: Inquisition is not a bad game by any means.  It's a massive accomplishment by Bioware and if we can expect the same kind of investment for the next Mass Effect, then we'll be in for a treat.  But is this game worthy of GOTY?  Were there other games that might have excelled in some or all of the above departments?  P&P's GOTY went to Middle Earth: Shadowof Mordor and if you've played that game, you'd understand why.  But in reality, all awards come down to a matter of taste and opinion.  That's it.  Should Inquisition have won the game of the year?  That's for you to decide, but just maybe you feel the same way about some of the stumbles listed above.  The truth is whether you liked Inquisition or not, it's still a video game that should be experienced…if not to completion, at least for a few dozen hours.

DVD Movie Review - Horrible Bosses 2

Horrible Bosses 2 brings back the original cast with almost the same premise (3 idiots attempt to be criminals), but are the jokes just as funny the second time around?

STORY:

After the events of the first movie, Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis), and Dale (Charlie Day) decide to start their own company and create their very own product.  Their first big order comes from Bert Hanson (Christoph Waltz) and his son, Rex (Chris Pine).  But just as everything seems to be looking up, the three get screwed and end up in debt.  Instead of legally trying to fix the problem, the boys turn to Dean MF'ER Jones (Jamie Fox) and decide to try their luck in kidnapping.  Crude humor, stupidity, free cookies, American dreams, table biting, stick-drawings, toilet flushing, and fight clubbing ensues.

"You want the three of us to do another Horrible Bosses movie?  Sounds great...just as long as I 

can talk about my genitalia throughout the entire story."

THOUGHTS:

Just like any other R rated comedy that has even the slightest bit of notoriety, trying to write a sequel that delivers a fresh humorous story is the hardest endeavor for anyone in Hollywood.  And it's sad to say, but Horrible Bosses 2 is no different.  What worked in the original film is attempted here in the second and even though the movie has its hysterical moments, it still slows down dramatically in the middle and some of the jokes become tedious instead of spontaneous.  But don't misunderstand; if you loved the first one, you'd be right at home with the second.  Why?  Because of the returning cameos from the first film.  These small scenes help lift the film back onto its feet when the plot starts to drag a little.  So of you enjoyed Kevin Spacey's evil character or Jennifer Aniston's nymphomaniac dentist, then you'll love their appearances here in the second.

THE MUDDLED MIDDLE:

Horrible Bosses 2 starts off with a fresh and hilarious beginning as the three friends travel down the road of business entrepreneurs.  And the film even ends with some very entertaining scenes (the ending chase sequence is laugh-out-loud comical).  But it's the middle that gets a tad hairy.  It feels like the writers had a beginning and end, and then just decided to throw some crap in the middle to fill two hours of your time.  And you would think with the inclusion of Chris Pine in the cast the story would achieve new heights, but it's his part of the plot and a Jennifer Aniston cameo that actually brings the film's momentum to an almost full stop.  And you have to wonder why, because the movie just about touches the two hour mark.  Why wouldn't they just cut a little more out to keep the momentum going?

"I still can't get over the fact that this arm helps pilot the USS Enterprise.  Exquisite."

THE ACTING:

Just as with the first movie, Charlie Day wins the funniest person award.  His facial expressions and the way his voice gets high pitched when he's upset, definitely adds many laughs.  If you enjoyed Day's antics and whining in the original, then you'll once again love his scenes here.  Jason Bateman returns as the only level-headed guy in the bunch and feels almost normal opposite the other two.  He's in the movie just to point out every dumb idea and to try to stop the characters when something goes awry.  And then we come to Jason Sudeikis, who portrays the A-hole/horndog character that used to be funny, but now is more of a cartoon than anything else.  Yes, his character is created to disrupt the natural order, but they wrote him way over the top.  He's so stupid and so far away from the norm that his character doesn't fit in the story and most of the time will just aggravate the viewer with how adolescent he acts.  If there are any jokes that run too long or make you cringe, sadly, they'll be falling out of his mouth.  Chris Pine makes his debut in the series and plays the suave millionaire, Rex Hanson, to a T.  But when he's attempting to add humor to the conversation, he falls a little short.  It's actually his subplot that feels tacked on to the rest of the film, even though his character is what drives the story.  And last but not least is Christoph Waltz, appearing as Bert Hanson, Rex’s daddy.  He normally has the stand-out role in any movie, but here he comes and goes in a blink of an eye and only turns up to make you hate him.

"Ladies, when Hollywood asks you to be in a film at my age as just a sexual piece of meat, 

you scream yes and never look back." 

THE CAMEOS:

If you're looking for the crudest, most vulgar dialogue in the film, then look no further than Jennifer Aniston's Dr. Julia Harris.  She returns as Dale's ex-boss and still has an unbelievable thirst for sexual activity of any kind.  Some of her scenes are a little long and have nothing to do with the plot, but there are a few moments where she will make you laugh.  Kevin Spacey pops back in the story as Dave Harken and literally shows the entire cast what a real actor looks like.  Even though his scenes are quick and filled with dialogue about balls, you can feel his animosity towards the trio and you'll be sad when his cameo ends.  Jamie Foxx reprises his role of the smooth, yet confused, Dean MF'ER Jones.  At first he'll seem like a throw-away character, but towards the end, he has some of the funniest moments in the movie.

"I don't care if the story's lacking...I'm going to knock this Frank Underw--I mean Dave Harken 

character out of the park.  Deal with it." 

CONCLUSION:

Horrible Bosses 2, just as expected, isn't better than the first go-around, but still has its moments to shine.  The middle is a tad slow and some of the jokes are beaten to death, but if you thought the first movie was funny, then you'll also be entertained by the second.  The main characters seem like a slight repeat, but it's the cameos that help elevate the movie a tad higher than mediocre.  With Charlie Day leading the humor department and Bateman trying to even out the stupid, Horrible Bosses 2 is a comedy for fans of the franchise…everyone else should wait until it appears on TV.

3 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for the slow middle and for some regurgitated jokes)

DVD Movie Review - St. Vincent

St. Vincent easily blends dark humor, tragedy, drama, love, and friendship in one remarkable package.

STORY:

Maggie (Melissa McCarthy), a recent divorcee and her son, Oliver (Jaeden Lieberher), are attempting to start a nice calm life together.  But when they meet their new neighbor, Vincent (Bill Murray), all hell breaks loose.  See Vincent doesn't seem to have a polite bone anywhere in his body.  And on top of that he hates people and couldn't care less about anyone but himself.  But then things get complicated when Maggie needs a babysitter for Oliver and only Vincent is available.  Busted faces, religious jokes, pregnant strippers, and a character finally played by McCarthy that isn't an obnoxious mess ensue.

"Do I look like a man that wants to strap a proton pack on his shoulders again?  I've got 

real problems.  For instance: I've run out of vodka."

THOUGHTS:

You've seen the trailers of this movie and thought, "Bill Murray doing ridiculous crap like making a little kid mow dirt is hilarious.  This film will be a laugh riot."  Not so fast.  Before you rent St. Vincent because you're in the mood for a comedy, make sure you know just what you're getting into.  Most of St. Vincent's funny bits are dark humor, showcasing the absurdities in life and pushing the boundaries of their consequences, but there's much more to the story than Murray doing stupid crap and making jokes.  The film is more about everyday problems and how the main characters deal with these obstacles.  It's also about how people can do the most unexpected things given the right circumstances.  So you will laugh a little at Murray in the beginning, but come the middle and end of the story, you'll see why he's considered one of the most iconic actors of his time. 

At about midpoint, the film takes a turn for the dramatic and certain situations arise which might make the eyes tear up, but the best thing this movie has going for it is the ending.  It's not all sad.  The worst thing a film can do is leave a feeling of depression after the credits and this movie doesn't even come close.  But the story will definitely take you on an emotional roller coaster ride.  You'll be angry in the beginning.  Laugh a tad there afterwards.  Sadness will then kick in as some tragedies occur.  And then the ending is uplifting.  So if you were worried about sitting through a straight tear-jerker, relax…the movie is still quite funny by the end.  And that's really what puts this film in a league of its own when it comes to story.  Anyone can write a plot that continually hurts the characters straight through until the end, but being able to bring humor into the darkest of situations takes talent.  Not to mention the dialogue being superb and the acting unbelievable from everyone involved. 

"Ha.  You think you can just buy your way into the greatest franchise of the 80's? You have to--"

"Will twenty cover it?"

"Better make it forty."

THE ACTING:

Don't worry; Murray is still the highlight and main character throughout the film.  So if you're here to see him in his finest, he won't disappoint.  The only slight problem is the accent that he tries to pull off.  It's not a bad accent, it's just that it comes and goes…sometimes even in the same sentence.  Does it affect his performance?  Not in the least.  His transformation from hated neighbor to what he becomes is astounding.  Yes, the dialogue is top notch and the story is excellent, but Murray is still delivering his lines to perfection.  Now, there's only one other person that can match the power of the Bill Murray and that's Jaeden Lieberher.  He's the other anchor of the story.  Most of the film includes Murray, but when he's not on screen, Lieberher is pulling his own weight.  This young kid is excellent.  Every scene and every line is delivered with veteran qualities and when the two (Lieberher and Murray) share scenes together, they're hilarious, sad, and exceptional all at the same time.  St. Vincent is as much Murray's as it is Lieberher's film. 

Melissa McCarthy finally stepped away from the annoying character she's been playing for years and delivered a subtle cautious mother that's at the end of her rope.  Her character's reactions to the environment and Vincent are hilarious, but McCarthy also delivers quite a fantastic dramatic performance when needed.  You might even say she's a pretty good actress…as long as she continues to portray other characters besides an obnoxious woman trying to force people to laugh.  Naomi Watts plays Daka, a pregnant stripper that has dealings with Vincent throughout the movie.  You may think the character is a little over the top in the beginning, but towards the end you'll realize just how down-to-earth she actually is and how Watts' performance hits the nail right on the head.  Last but not least is Chris O'Dowd as Brother Geraghty.  He's Oliver's teacher and the film's comic relief that comes in small but exceptional doses.  Again the writing and dialogue is fantastic, but his delivery of each nutty line is perfect.  He even makes fun of religions (one of the most sensitive subjects in stories) and does so with grace and respect that keeps the jokes hilarious without making a mockery of the subject.

"Hey, easy with the seat belt...it's vintage."

CONCLUSION:

St. Vincent is an excellent portrayal of life through the eyes of ordinary people.  The acting is fantastic.  The story and dialogue are unbelievable.  It even takes two actors (Murray and McCarthy) that are known for comedy and creates exceptional dramatic performances.  Will it make you laugh?  Sure if you find dark humor funny.  Will it make you cry?  Probably.  Will you feel good after it's all said and done?  Definitely.  St. Vincent may not be the comedy you were expecting from a veteran comedian, but it's still definitely worth a couple hours of your time.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a half star for the silly accent)

DVD Movie Review - Predestination

Do not try to fight it.  Predestination is intended to give you a time-looping headache.  The real question is will the middle hold your attention?

STORY:

John (Ethan Hawke), a time-traveling agent for the Temporal Bureau, heads back in time to stop the Fizzle Bomber: a terrorist that kills approximately 11,000 people in 1975 New York.  But things get complicated when John happens to run into a person with an extremely interesting past, causing his last task for the Bureau to run the risk of failure.  Melted faces, violin cases, orphans, athletic women, writers, stolen babies, and one unbelievable twisted tale of time travel ensues.

"You know, I once flew into space using a tilt-a-whirl seat and various garbage.  True story."

THOUGHTS:

WARNING: Review is intentionally vague.  Describing certain scenes and or characters could ruin the bizarre plot.  As such, P&P has withheld a lot.  You’re welcome.

So you've just finished popping a few dozen bags of popcorn and as you're filling the barrel next to the sofa with buttery gold, you're smiling because you think you already have this movie pegged.  You've seen similar Sci-Fi tales where a time-traveling cop goes back into the past to stop a terrible tragedy.  It's been done.  It's cliché.  You're pretty sure Predestination will be nothing but boring from start to finish.  And then the movie starts rolling and you realize you couldn't be further from the truth.  Sure, people that find Sci-Fi to be nonsense or mysteries to be dull will still not like this film, but if you're into the above, then give Predestination a whirl, because you haven't seen a plot line like this before.  Ethan Hawke said in an interview that he wanted the movie's tag line to be, "Predestination…go f*ck yourself."  And after you watch the film, you'll understand why. 

Predestination is the kind of movie that requires complete undivided attention.  Without giving too much away, it does start like all other time-traveling crime stories you've seen before.  One man must go back in time to stop a horrific event from unfolding, and he has only one jump left into the past to do it.  But then Predestination throws a curveball about a half hour in and instead, a story unfolds about a very unique person.  See, the Fizzle Bomber still remains an important factor of the plot, but that part of the film won't even remotely stack up to rest of the crazy twists that you'll be seeing on screen.  And this is where the headache will begin to set in.  Questions will start to arise like, "Could this person be the Fizzle Bomber?" or "Does Ethan Hawke realize he's rocking a pornstache?"  And don't worry; those questions will get answered by the time the credits roll (alright…maybe not the pornstache one).

"Man, I really need to stop eating people right before work.  It's ruining my chances 

for advancement." 

But there are two slight problems.  Problem one: Predestination's crazy story almost makes Sci-Fi sense until the very end and then—BAM—everything gets blown out of proportion.  And what almost worked in a fictional time-traveling loop ends with a humongous plot hole.  Some people will try to make sense of it, while others might brush off the entire film because of it.  But it's this very scene that Ethan Hawke was talking about in his movie tag line.  So…does it make sense?  A better question would be: Does it really matter?  The film is already fictional, so why not push the boundaries even further?  Either way, the scene was written for the initial shock value and it certainly works.  You'll either really like it or you'll want to set fire to your TV.  But no matter how you feel, you'll be talking about the ending as soon as it's all over.  And problem number two: the middle of the story shifts from Sci-Fi thriller/mystery to Sci-Fi drama/mystery.  And this transition may be the point where some people feel the film slows down dramatically as Sarah Snook's character, Jane, takes center stage and the Fizzle Bomber/Ethan Hawke storyline slowly crawls its way back into the movie towards the end.  But if you're invested in the characters, the mystery behind them will definitely hold your attention until the credits.

"If you're waiting for me to dance or pull a lever to splash water on myself...that's just not 

gonna happen.  At least not before lunch." 

THE ACTING:

Ethan Hawke is excellent in the film...even with the silly scratchy voice he's trying to pull off.  At first the voice might get on your nerves, but relax, there's a reason behind the way he's talking.  In fact, there's a reason behind everything in the film.  So if you're willing to stick it out until the end, you'll probably be sickened, angered, shocked, and dumbfounded.  But at least everything gets answered.  Certain scenes required Ethan's character to be emotional, strong, sad, and confused, and without even a hiccup, he easily fills the shoes of the second protagonist, John.  Why the second and not the first?  That's because someone else steals the movie away from him.  Ethan Hawke's character is more of a bookend: showing up in the beginning and towards the end, while a large chunk of the middle goes to another person entirely…

Sarah Snook.  She plays Jane and her character's evolution in the storyline is astonishing.  Mentioning anything else about the plot will ruin the shock...and it’s this shock that needs to be kept for the film to work the way it was intended.  But all you have to know is Snook delivers top-shelf acting chops that help bring the entire film together by the end. 

"Keep looking at me like that, slut, and I'll rip my heel off and stab you with it.  In the most 

polite way, of course." 

CONCLUSION:

Predestination may not be the greatest film you see this year, or even one that will earn an Oscar, but you'll be talking about it and trying to understand it as soon as it's over.  On top of that you'll never forget just how shockingly crazy the story actually gets.  It's Sci-Fi at its strangest.  The film not only pushes the "boundary" of what's possible in fake realities, it takes the "boundary" out back and shoots it.  So if you want an original story that'll leave a mark and maybe even make you a little sick to your stomach, then give this film a shot.

3 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for the ending plot hole & for the somewhat slow middle)