Book Review - Sabriel

A Book Review by Glitchiee:

STORY:

Sabriel is the daughter of Abhorsen, a necromancer of sorts that does not raise the dead, but binds them with an infusion of Charter magic and necromancer skills.  When he fails to meet Sabriel for an annual get together, and a Dead construct brings her his sword and bells, she fears the worse.  Thus, she sets off for the Old Kingdom, where Charter Magic flows and the Dead roam free.  Chased by Dead being orchestrated by a mysterious force more powerful than herself, she flees to her father’s home, where she finds Mogget, the talking cat who is so much more than he appears.  Now she is the acting Abhorsen, and it is her duty to rid the kingdom of the evil threatening it.  Determined to rescue her father from whatever has befallen him, she stubbornly risks her life again and again, leading to an action-packed page turner of a story.  The walking dead, spells, wooden men, and Death ensue.

"I really don't understand how standing in this ring of fire and doing the 

Macarena will make me a better Sorcerer."

"It won't.  But it's damn funny."

THOUGHTS:

The bare bones plot behind Sabriel is a basic one at its roots: good vs. evil; a family trying to save each other; and life and death.  The fully grown story however is a beautiful blossom.  Combining a unique take on the world of death, interesting characters, and a well detailed world, Sabriel stands out as an amazing fantasy novel.

Sabriel is a complex protagonist, maturing from a school girl about to enter the world, into a Dead fighting Abhorsen trying to save the world from magical destruction.  Using the bells of a necromancer (typically used to raise the Dead), mixed with Charter Magic, and an infused blade that cuts through flesh and spirits, she puts the Dead to rest.  Sabriel also has the company of Mogget, a white talking cat with devious intentions.  And also joining the strange duo is Touchstone, a man once turned to wood who has lost his memory.  The power trio journeys along fighting Gore Crows, Dead hiding among villagers, and forgotten memories towards the capital of the Old Kingdom.

The world that makes up Sabriel is divided into two distinct countries.  There is the Old Kingdom, where charter magic flows freely, mechanical devices refuse to work, and technology is far behind that of its neighbor.  Dead in these parts do not really stay dead unless the body is burnt in a cleansing ritual.  And with the decay of the royal kingdom, chaos has ensued allowing necromancers a longer leash to practice their disgusting craft.  And the other country is Ancelstierre.  It's completely different, calling to mind England from the 1910's, where Charter Magic is the stuff of fairy tales, Dead stay dead and cars are the main source of transportation.  Growing up in Ancelstierre, Sabriel is as much a visitor in the country of her birth as someone from the United States is in Spain.

"Woah.  So if I wave this twig around and mouth off gibberish, magical things will 

happen that only I can see?  Far out." 

With the story, Death itself is an extremely detailed area.  It's filled with its own inhabitants, locales, and customs.  It's divided into nine precincts, each separated by a different gate that must be crossed with the river of Death running through it all.  And those that have died can fight their way back to life by standing fast against the current and traps each precinct presents.  A necromancer willing to travel the river of Death for their nefarious purposes can bind these hopeless souls, bringing them back to life under their control.  So if you love different variations on Death and where it takes you, this is something that will truly fascinate you as each gate functions differently, leading to a distinct different place.

The story is straightforward and direct, but not to the extent that it gives you all the details and history of the various characters and locations in the first few chapters.  You are drawn along throughout the story by hints of what is occurring.  It is not until the very end that all the plot strings come together, tying all previous events in a nice big bow.  And the best part is there are no subplots disappearing to never be heard from again.  Every event that occurs throughout the book ties directly into the main story line.  And you will be kept on the edge of your seat, hungrily turning the pages until late into the night, running with the characters while your heart beats wildly.

"So what you're saying is...I'm going to have to learn how to read like words 

and things to become like a Sorcerer and stuff?"

"I'm sorry.  How old are you?" 

CONCLUSION:

Sabriel opens in a dramatic way, pulling you under like the hidden undertow in Death.  Once you start reading you will not be able to put it down, hooked and entranced like you were bound by a magical curse and forced to read on.  Sabriel is a fantasy novel all of its own, with an interesting and unique take on death, necromancy, and magic.  On top of this you get detailed world creations, fully flushed out in-depth characters and a fantastic magic system.  All those ingredients are baked until perfection, leaving you with a lasting impression and wanting more.  If you like stories deep in action, fantasy, and tons of rotting flesh, then you shouldn't hesitate to pick this up.  Also keep in mind that this is a great introductory novel for those new to the fantasy genre as well as one for the seasoned fantasy lover.

5 out of 5 Stars (well done Garth Nix)

Reviewer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

P&P's 5 Worthy Reads

"Yes, Hi...Hello, can you please point me toward the graphic novel section?"

For the past week, P&P has been on vacation.  What does that mean?  It means no amount of movie watching, video game playing, researching, or writing has taken place whatsoever.  But that's not to say there isn't time for a smidgen of reading.  Sure, there may be moments where the kids are running circles around you with pool noodles, whacking each other and occasionally cracking you upside the head, but that doesn't mean you don't have at least three or four minutes of quiet time to yourself…you know, to shower, eat, sleep, crap, and read.

The following recommended novels may (or may not have been pulled out of my ass, because—hey I’m on vacation) not be the greatest stories of all time, or classics, or even the best books ever written by famous authors, but they are novels I wouldn't hesitate to share with anyone interested in a specific genre.  So without further ado—and with minimum effort—here are five books you shouldn't pass up, listed in no particular order.

THE CRIME/THRILLER GENRE:

The Pawn by Steven James

The Pawn introduces readers to Patrick Bowers.  Bowers is a FBI agent that catches serial killers in an unusual manner that most of his colleagues don't approve of.  He throws away the idea of motives and uses patterns to catch his man.  This book is not only a fantastic crime story, but it also has one of the most unbelievable opening chapters you'll ever read (just read the first few pages and see for yourself).  No one in the writing industry today can match the way James weaves a tale.  If you're looking for a thriller about serial killers and a man struggling to keep a family together, the Patrick Bowers series is perfect.

THE HISTORIC/THRILLER/FANTASY GENRE:

The Cabinet of Curiosities by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child

Preston & Child have a magical way of mixing historical fact with a hint of fantastical elements that no other authors can.  In this thriller, Special Agent Pendergast and an archaeologist named Nora Kelly begin to uncover the mysteries surrounding a whacked-out doctor that experimented on people a hundred years ago.  In the middle of finding clues, a serial killer with a very unusual method, begins to strike in Manhattan.  Is there a correlation between the two?  Looks like you’ll have to read it to find out.  But that’s okay, because this book has it all: New York history, nutty antagonists, the awesome Pendergast, excellent writing, and a tale that will get your heart racing.  If you haven't read any Preston & Child, this is where you should start.

THE SCI-FI GENRE:

Wool by Hugh Howey

Sure there are wonderful Sci-Fi classics that should be read whenever someone has the chance, but Wool instantly became a classic by hooking readers with something different.  In a futuristic world, where people are stuck living inside giant cylinders known as Silos, Juliette, a lonely mechanic is tasked with becoming the next Sheriff.  Howey has a knack for writing slow-boiling tales that grab you in the very beginning and string you along until the last page.  Wool is a fantastic character study.  If you're craving Sci-Fi, then Wool will keep you warm.  It's also a trilogy, so if you like Wool, then don't be afraid to jump into the other two books.

THE GAMER/SCI-FI GENRE:

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline (P&P review here)

In the future, Wade Watts is a teenager that spends his time jacked into a virtual reality world known as Oasis.  When the creator of Oasis dies, he embeds hidden puzzles—Easter eggs—within the system that only a person with the love and obsession for 1980's pop culture can unravel.  With the promise of fame and fortune to whoever discovers Oasis' secrets, Wade sets out to claim the prize and beat the game.  Cline creates an unbelievable world where any Gamer would be happy spending their time.  Be ready for movies, games, TV shows, commercials, and anything else to do with the 80's.  Ready Player One is also a wonderful coming-of-age story that grips you from start to finish.  If you're a Gamer that doesn't like to read, this book may change your thinking entirely.

THE HUMOR GENRE:

A whopping tie between:

Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan (P&P review here) and

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore (P&P review here)

Both books are over-the-top hilarious.  If you're feeling like a book with slacker/office type humor, then jump into Apathy.  It’s about Shane, a man-child that cares for absolutely nothing, but seems to always fall into crap that's over his head.  This book can be read over and over again, and will still make your sides hurt from laughing.  It's silly and goofy and shocking and pulls no punches when poking fun at anyone or anything.

If you're looking for humor with a side of fantasy, then A Dirty Job has you covered.  Charlie Asher is a Beta Male that owns a second-hand store and leads a boring life.  That is until his daughter Sofie is born and people start dying all around him.  Then he starts seeing creatures and hearing filthy language coming from San Francisco's sewers.  Could Charlie Asher, a man who seems to just barely get by, be Death?  You know, the same Death that collects people’s souls when they die.  Well, you'll have to read it to find out.  A Dirty Job is one of Moore's best novels and great place to start reading his work.

THE READING WRAP-UP:

If there is one book on this list you haven't read and enjoy the genre being represented, then pick it up for your next vacation.  This list is nowhere near the five (six really) best novels ever written, but they are definitely ones that shouldn't be missed.  P&P will return next week in all its silly glory with more nonsense, more humor, and more reviews.

Book Review - Bite Me

SPOILER NOTE:

This is the third book of Moore's vampire love story and it's recommended that you read the first two books (Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck) before reading this review, as spoilers will be elegantly excreted along the way.  But you already knew that, didn't you?  Alright, relax…no need to be patting your own ass.  Your competence will be documented.  So go ahead and read the review at your own risk.

Christopher Moore's Bite Me wraps up his vampiric love story by removing Tommy as the protagonist and offering up someone fresh, Goth and ridiculous, to take over the reins.

"Now you listen.  I have about twenty minutes before the sun comes up, so you better head over to my 

car and replace the flat tire that you caused.  Because I am not in the mood."

STORY:

Chet, the huge shaved cat from You Suck, becomes a huge stalking vampiric fiend that can't seem to decide whether to eat his victims, suck their blood, or hump the holy hell out of them.  He (Chet) is not only growing in size and brain function, but he's also making quite the kitty army.  The vampiric feline pack starts to run amuck in San Francisco, devouring the homeless and then—*gulp*—moving on to the middle class.  Is there anyone in the city that can stop Chet and his army before San Francisco is nothing more than a giant litter box?  Why...yes.  There does seem to be one person.  Abigail Von Normal: emergency backup Mistress of the Greater Bay Area.  Oh, and she does get a little help from her sexy manga boyfriend, Foo Dog.  So technically, there's like two people.  Well, there are also the Animals, and those goofy cops, and some old vampires, and this old Japanese guy, and the Emperor of San Francisco, and let's not forget Tommy and Jody either...so really, there's like a gaggle of idiots running around making poor decisions and attempting to hunt the bloodcurdling Chet monster.  Killer humping cats, vampiric rats, artistic samurai, and douche waffles ensue.

"Are you saying that if I became a vampire cat, I'd live forever AND gain intelligence...but would

have to drink nothing but blood for eternity?"

"Yep."

"Not interested."

THOUGHTS:

They say a novel's protagonist is the person who the story begins and ends with.  And if that's to be believed, then Abby Normal (a cross between Wednesday Addams and Lydia Deetz) becomes this story's lead.  She was everything that was hilarious about the second book, You Suck.  And if you enjoyed her rambling in that story, then you'll love her here.  Her journal entries—once again—turn what could have been a slightly slow and safe story, into a roll in the hay with Goth humor.

In the second book, the story left us with Tommy and Jody discussing whether or not to stay vampires (Foo Dog has discovered a cure).  And since Abby didn't want to see them fight about it, when they pass out at dawn, she and her manga-haired sex-slave, cast the two lovers in bronze, essentially keeping them together forever…as statues.  But if you know anything about how Moore writes, you already know that anything he deems as "forever" is really just the start of a humorous blunder.

"You know, we could turn around and not have to fight all these vampires."

"Dude, they have my girlfriend.  You've seen what she looks like right?"

"Fair enough."

SHOULD YOU READ THE THIRD BOOK?

The actual question you're probably asking is: "I've read the first book and liked it, but the second left a whole lot to be desired in the story, but it was funny…so should I spend my time reading this one?"  Well, if you enjoyed Abby in the second book and were actually able to read all the way through it and still enjoy Moore's humor—regardless of the nonexistent plot—then you'll enjoy the third installment.  Since the story is "mostly" seen through Abby's eyes, there's a lot more silliness going on and more laughs.  In terms of the story, the plot is organized and stuff does seem to be happening, but some of the story lines end somewhat quick and safe without many twists, as if Moore decided the book was too long and it needed trimming in the resolution department.

Now, when you read the story synopsis above, you're probably thinking Chet has a humongous part in the novel.  Well, he does in about the first third of the book.  But then Moore needs to wrap up the series by the last page and poor Chet and his vampiric felines take a back seat to the many story lines that need concluding.

"Large vampiric cats you say..."

"Yes."

"Eating the homeless..."

"Yes!  Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I fail to see the problem."

JUST HOW MANY STORY LINES ARE THERE?

Each chapter has a different character's point-of-view and each character has a different story line that needs to be told.  So the book will have you bouncing around like a three year old, hopped up on Pixy Stix.  You'll start with Abby, but then you’ll switch over to the Animals, Jody, Tommy, Cavuto and Rivera, the Emperor of San Francisco and his men, Foo Dog, the Old Ones, the samurai Okata, and even Chet (who gets his own chapters where you'll read his thoughts and desires), until finally arriving back to Abby.  Is it a mess?  You betcha.  Could some of the story lines have been dropped altogether?  Sure.  The Emperor's chapters seem unnecessary, along with Chet and his thoughts, but then you'll be losing all the hilarity that goes along with them.  Just like in the other two books, you're reading Moore, not for the education in storytelling, but because of all the wonderful laughs along the way.  And there are plenty of them.  The story gets so ridiculous at one point you'll wonder how a grown man (Moore) can invent crap like sucking dead rats up in a vacuum without spending most of his time in therapy.  Then again, maybe he does...

"Don't worry mom, he can't come in unless we invite him."

"Yeah, well then you owe me money for all the Pogonias he's out there eating." 

CONCLUSION:

Bite Me reads more like a newspaper within the city of San Francisco.  Each chapter is a new headline, accompanied by the silliest story you can imagine.  Will it become a literary masterpiece?  Probably not.  But who really cares?  Its main purpose is to deliver unexpected hilarity, and Moore never fails in that department.  Is this trilogy better than some of his other works?  No.  But if you've already read the first two books, don't you want to find out how this terrific mess ends?  Of course you do.  And that is one thing you can look forward to: a resolution in every story line…and a couple might even surprise you.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars (minus a star for character bouncing and ½ star for safe story line endings)

Book Review - You Suck

Contrary to popular belief, You Suck is not a vintage porn starring Long Dong Silver.  It is, in fact, the next chapter in Christopher Moore’s tragic saga of C. Thomas Flood and his vampire love, Jody.

WARNING: if you haven't read the first novel in the C. Thomas Flood saga, Bloodsucking Fiends, P&P highly recommends you doing so, before venturing forth into this review.  First book spoilers ahead.

"They said we'd never shower again and would forever remain malodorous, but we'll 

show them.  We'll show them all."

BLOODSUCKING FIENDS RECAP:

Since P&P never reviewed Bloodsucking Fiends (stop looking at us that way and don't try to act like you've never been lazy).  Here's a bit of a recap in the action.  C. Thomas Flood, an aspiring writer from Indiana, heads to San Francisco to stake a claim in the literary world.  Shortly after arriving, his car is set aflame, his new bedroom is shared with five Chinese guys, his nights are spent managing a team of supermarket shelf stockers named the Animals, and his new girlfriend (an older, superhot redhead he met in the middle of the night named Jody) may be a vampire.  Okay, let's not sugar coat it.  She is a vampire and Tommy Flood ends up becoming her minion.  But is having sex with a vampire and doing her laundry something that Tommy always wanted?  First book spoilers are still ahead.  Read at your own risk.

YOU SUCK - STORY:

We pick up exactly where the first book left off: C. Thomas Flood being turned into a vampire by Jody, and Elijah (the centuries old vampire that turned Jody just for the fun of it) still stuck inside the bronze statue.  But can the happily-ever-after ending from the first book, really last?  In short…nope.  Sooner rather than later, Jody and Tommy realize they still need to leave town as promised, but there's the little problem of needing a minion to do their daylight bidding.  Blue painted hookers, gothic minions, bald cats, troubled teens, A Dirty Job's Charlie Asher, and the vampire Lord Flood ensues.

"Man, this is the last time I throw a party on a Tuesday."

THOUGHTS:

About the first eighty pages of the novel are just a bunch of ridiculous conversations between Jody and Tommy.  Basically, Tommy is being treated like a child by Jody, as he tries to come to terms with being a fresh undead stalker of the night.  Not that banter is a problem, but throughout most of the novel, you'll come to realize there's really not much going on.  There’s a lot of talking, pot smoking (the Animals, not Tommy since he is a vampire and all), sex, wandering around, and hiding from daylight in the most awkward places.  With the first novel (Bloodsucking Fiends) being scene after scene of vampire jokes and action chapters leading to the inevitable confrontation with Elijah, You Suck isn't left with much of a plot to utilize.  Therefore, Moore had to make things happen in each of the separate story lines.  For instance, the Animals take all their hard earned stolen money and blow it in Vegas on a Smurf hooker.  The cops, Cavuto and Rivera, have to make sure all vampires leave the city, and Jody and Tommy have to search for a minion.  But even with those story lines happening, there's still no over-arching plot in the novel.  It feels more like random stories from different people's journals that occasionally over-lap. 

With all that being said, the real reason anyone reads Moore is for the humor.  So is the book funny?  Ridiculously funny.  The random conversations in the beginning felt a little forced and out of character, but after the minion became part of the novel, the pace and humor increased tenfold.

"Mental checklist: Murder random family.  Help boy overcome puberty by 

killing his classmates.  Check amount of Followers on Twitter."

WHAT ABOUT A MINION?

If you've read A Dirty Job then you'll know of the character Abigail Von Normal, AKA Abby Normal.  (She is the sixteen year old friend of Lily, the cashier at Charlie Asher's secondhand store.)  Abby has finally found and fallen in love with her Dark Lord.  Except, her Dark Lord (the vampire Flood) isn't a few hundred years old and definitely doesn't know anything about being a vampire.  Abby's chapters throughout the book help the writing feel fresh, because each word is written as if she's telling the story in her diary.  The way she phrases conversations and events is absolutely hilarious.

Abby wants to be a vampire in the worst way and at one part in the story—because of a certain event—she thinks she's been turned and the "powers of the night" need some time to develop.  So Abby begins to act tough, but she's actually just a scared little girl that doesn't know crap about anything.  And that makes her chapters a complete delight.  The way she describes her Nosferatude, her love for Starbucks, and just her complete lack of caring, help carry the novel.  And thank goodness, because with nothing much to do, the Tommy and Jody story line, grows stale fast.

PACING:

Once the minion and the Animals story line start to intersect with Jody and Tommy, the novel begins to pick up and foolishness increases.  Action starts to actually take place and the lovely vampire couple find themselves falling deeper and deeper into trouble.  The next hurdle is the ending.  But don't expect a humongous climax to take place.  The ending just happens to fizzle out like a few days old Pepsi and you're left with a little more than indifference once the last page is turned.  It’s sad, considering Moore’s other works.

"I told you I have a problem eating spaghetti and meatballs.  You're taking these 

clothes to the cleaner.  You...not me!"

CONCLUSION:

This may not be Moore's best plotted tale, but his wacky writing is still woven deep within the novel.  If you enjoyed Bloodsucking Fiends and want to slightly deepen the story of Jody and Tommy, then feel at ease picking up this second volume.  If you found Bloodsucking Fiends to be lacking, then there's no need to venture any further into the saga.  But regardless of story trouble, the novel will still make you laugh if you have an appetite for over-the-top Moore humor.

3 out of 5 stars (minus a star for the ending and one for the pacing)

Book Review - Dust (Wool Series)

Sit down and strap in, because the slow boiling prose of Hugh Howey is magnificent in Dust: the last novel of the Wool trilogy (a story about a dystopian future, where people live inside a massive Silo stashed underground—think Fallout 3’s vaults). 

SPOILER ALERT: If you happen to be one of the six people on Earth that hasn't read the Wool series yet, then go no further.  The starting events of this novel are the ending events in Wool, and we recommend you read Wool first before reading this review.

"Don't worry boy, I'm not going to eat you...yet."

STORY:

Dust opens exactly where Wool left off: Juliette as the crispy mayor and Lucas as the head of the IT department.  Everything is getting on just fine in Silo 18, except for the fact that Juliette's new plan has the populace split right down the middle.  See, Juliette wants to use the newly found digger and spare generator from her Silo to dig a hole straight to Silo 17 to rescue Solo and the kids.  But even though she's been outside and has seen the world for what it really is, her people still have their doubts.  Half the Silo is against her plan, while the other half thinks she's just a little nutty from being outside.  What's the new mayor to do?  Fascinating Sci-Fi, social issues, claustrophobia, and tense situations ensue.

"I feel like celebrating tonight, let's split this tin can for dinner.  People don't realize it, but 

a little ketchup goes a long way."

THOUGHTS:

If you've read Wool and it produced a warm fuzzy feeling running through your veins, then Dust will be capable of doing exactly the same.  Tension mixed with fear, mixed with crappy expectations is squeezed to the limits in the text, forcing you to turn the page and hope everything turns out alright for our favorite Silo friends.  Howey, as always, uses every word and sentence to their fullest, leaving even veterans of the writing population scratching their heads and wondering just how he does it.

Even though the book ends around the five hundred page mark, the story will fly by, and at times, might even feel a little rushed.  In Wool, every character emotion, burden, and ache was described in beautiful detail, creating an amazing relationship between reader and all the characters throughout Silo 18.  But in Dust, the story bounces around a little more than expected.  After brief check-ins with Juliette and her people, you'll be whisked away to Silo 17 to see what Solo and the gang is doing.  Turn to the next chapter and you'll now be following a few of the people responsible for this whole debacle in Silo 1.  And the entire book will go on like this, jumping from Silo to Silo between chapters, until the inevitable conclusion. 

The bouncing around isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does keep the flow of the story moving at a brisk pace.  For instance, at one point you may hear Juliette talking about wanting to start digging, and just a mere chapter later we're already underway without much detail or thought behind it.  The upside to this is people who felt Wool might have been a tad on the slow side will enjoy the new pace of this novel.  But don't worry, the story is still fascinating and hits all the right marks, no matter what the speed.  It's just a little harder to relate to a character as you're pulled from one Silo to the next.

"You know, your mother thinks this shopping thing is easy.  I'd like to see her come out here in the

freezing cold and fend off maniacs trying to eat her...then we'll see who's lazy."

THE CHARACTERS:

When you have a tin can world packed with thousands of people, you are sure to get a few nuts in the bunch, and Howey really knows how to use this pressure to increase a crisis.  How would people react when there's a chance of no tomorrow?  A human collective will always split off into different packs of beliefs, agendas, and strategies.  And the societal breakdown holds the key to fear and escalating tension as each page is turned.  You know sometimes exactly how a certain situation will play out, but it's the way the characters react that surprises you and makes the story exhilarating.

There's also a change of perspective in a few chapters that adds freshness to the storytelling, and it comes in the form of Elise: the little girl from Silo 17.  She presents a naive look at a frightening world.  The verbiage also changes to simplistic words and phrases that create a feeling of innocence in the text.  And with Elise's lack of experience, also comes increased stress for the reader, because everyone is trying to take advantage of her.

"We may look cool in these suits, but I'm sweating like a pig here.  And the smell 

inside this...like a New York subway."

PACE FRUSTRATION:

Toward the end of the book—as tension gets to an all-time high—a few frustrating scenes take place.  Typically, when a story's end draws near, the action will increase, making the last couple of chapters fly by.  But toward the end of the book a funny thing happens: remedial tasks (worthless conversations and silly errands) are thrown in the way of the main story arc, bringing the momentum to an amazing halt.  Sometimes these conversations are almost logical, because they somewhat help with the final outcome.  But most of the scenes just seemed ridiculous, especially in a time of such immediate danger.  "We have to get out now!  But first let me stop here and talk to this person about life, because we seem to have a few minutes."

 

"Ad says: two bedroom with a great view and a nice breeze.  Hmm...must be the place."

CONCLUSION:

Hugh Howey takes great care in how he ends the Wool trilogy.  His beautiful prose wraps up all lingering story lines and gives the reader a feeling of fulfillment and ease when the last page is turned.  If you've read the other books in the series and have been waiting for the finale, then you're in for a treat.  Dust places an elegant bow around the Wool series, making all prior books well worth the investment.  The writing may seem rushed at times with some outlandish conversations, but it still doesn't take away from the fantastic story being told.

4 out of 5 stars (minus a star for slightly troubled pacing)

Book Review - The Amateurs

The Amateurs is a thriller about ordinary people trying to take an illegal bite out of society and the terrible consequences thereafter.

STORY:

Four friends: Alex, a bartender with too many bills and family trouble; Mitch, a doorman with self-esteem issues; Ian, a degenerate cocaine addict; and Jenn, a travel agent looking for excitement, decide it's time to take back what society owes them.  With a seemingly indestructible plan and absolutely no idea how to carry it out, the four misfits attempt to rob a bundle of cash from a mobster.  Think a mix of Tower Heist, Horrible Bosses, and Foolproof, but much better with a more serious tone.  Consequences, liquid filled tubes, terrible bets, and stupidity ensue.

"If we would've known snorting coke out of a dust buster was illegal, none of us 

would've broke into that house and stuck toothbrushes in our ass."

THOUGHTS:

Marcus Sakey (Author) essentially takes four ordinary people and throws them into an extraordinary circumstance.  What could possibly go wrong when four friends—who seem to have never watched an episode of CSI—draw up the perfect plan to rob an ex-mobster named Johnny Love?  In short?  Everything and anything.  But the real pull of the novel isn't the crime itself or the terrible effects of trying to steal a better life.  It's the characters.  Each personality is cleverly written with distinct differences and life problems, adding depth to each protagonist.

Sometimes when reading a novel or watching a movie, the main protagonist can be a little tough to relate too.  But Sakey's brilliance is writing four main protagonists and letting you choose to root for one or all of them.  Will you get behind good-looking Alex, a divorced father having trouble with child support payments?  Maybe lonely Mitch is more your speed, because he has that special someone in his life that he can't seem to ever obtain.  Then there's Ian, the rich stockbroker who snorts every single paycheck and tends to bet on the losing team almost exclusively.  If none of them hold your interest, than how about Jenn.  She's a thirty something travel agent that just needs a little adventure in life, because going to the same job everyday has grown increasingly stale.  Each and every character gets his or her own backstory, adding a flavor for every reader's taste.

"Are you sure this is going work?  I thought you needed a styrofoam cup on the 

end of this or something?" 

The story premise remains believable because each of the four have motive for taking the loot.  Whether it's to keep a family together, to stay alive, or just to try and be happy.  It's all here for them to contemplate and for the reader to easily understand, because there isn't a single person out there who hasn't thought about taking the easy route in life.  The story also remains grounded.  Sakey doesn't overdo it by throwing millions of bucks into the mix.  The ending balance is just enough to give each of them a fresh life to venture into.  Haven't you ever thought, "If I just had about fifty grand, I could pay off all those credit cards I've maxed on porn subscriptions."  Sure you have.  And if the chance to do so seemed easy enough with virtually no way of getting caught, wouldn't you take it?  But there's the catch: nothing is ever as easy as it seems.

The chapters switch from each character's point of view, letting you dive into their minds up until the heist.  This adds a level of drama on top of the suspense of getting caught.  Then the four are in the thick of it and—BAM—the littlest thing changes the outcome and it’s a constant uphill battle to keep themselves and the ones they love, alive.  The plot is equal parts thriller, comedy, and drama.  And after part two you'll realize the novel isn't all sunshine and rainbows.  If you're interested in heist stories or novels about ordinary people getting caught up in unbelievable circumstances, then this book is a no-brainer.

"You're the final vote.  Dodgeball, Trading Places, or Ferris Bueller's Day off?"

Now, not only are the four worried about the cops and dangerous men, but stealing money and having four people in on the plan presents complications on their friendship.  If one person were to get caught, would they betray the other three?  This is where moral decisions and true friendships come into play.  What if your true friend had a load of cash in their hands or a gun to their head, and to be set free, all they had to do was cough up your name.  Would they do it?  But the story doesn't only revolve around trust.  There's also a love triangle adding tension, family issues, and addictions, all adding upon the strenuous mess the foursome fall into.

"Hey, don't worry about looking like a preschooler.  I just crapped my pants, so we're about even." 

AND THEN THERE'S PART THREE:

If there's one spot the book slows, it'll be just after part three begins.  (Part one deals with the plan.  Part two contains the heist and part three is the aftermath.)  Typically in a novel you're privy to one character's inner monologue, but when you're dealing with four main protagonists, now you've quadrupled your inner thoughts.  So instead of the plot moving forward, the first couple of chapters tend to stay stuck in each character's head, as they attempt to work things out, before making their next move.  Also weighing down the ending is some the action chapters have punch lines that are way too predictable and cliché.  You'll already know what the last line of the chapter will be even pages away.  But the lull in the narrative is just the calm before the ending storm.  So don't let those few chapters dissuade your decision to read the book.

"Yes, hello.  Don't be alarmed.  I may look like the guy that ruined the future of both Deadpool 

and Green Lantern, but I assure you...I'm not him."

"I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about, Sir.  No one here ordered a pizza.  So beat it."   

CONCLUSION:

Marcus Sakey's The Amateurs is filled with wonderful prose, exceptional character building, and a great premise.  If only the last part would've kept the momentum going, then the rating would've been a full five stars.  So if heists, drugs, love, family, and friendship issues are your taste, then this story will sit happily in your collection.  Or you could just head to the nearest library and get all the wonderful items listed above…for free.

4 out of 5 stars (minus a star for the lull in part three)