DVD Movie Review - Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 brings a slew of disgusting jokes, teeth-clenching scenes, and ridiculousness throughout.  But in doing so, leaves any bit of heart or story hitchhiking on the side of the road.

STORY:

Lou (Rob Corddry) and Nick (Craig Robinson) are living the life of luxury after the events that took place in the first movie.  They have altered the future in ways to make them both super rich, while Lou's son, Jacob (Clark Duke), tries to be the intelligent voice of reason and fails repeatedly.  In the midst of a giant party thrown by arrogant Lou, a tragedy occurs, leaving only one option for the power trio: they must reenter the hot tub time machine and see if they can alter the past to save a life.  Unnecessary nudity, jumbled timelines, man-skirts, dick picking, drug trips, inflated testicles, product placement, and degrading one-liners ensue.

"Are you saying there's no Cusack in this film?  America's teen sweetheart in the 80's?  A star of such 

films as Better Off Dead and Sixteen Candles?"

"Yep."

"Oh my God no.  Is the movie gonna suck?"

"Probably." 

THOUGHTS:

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is the kind of movie that seems to have purposely forgotten the actual plot and just decided to throw a bunch of four minute comedy skits together to fill up the time requirements for a full length feature film.  Seeing the first movie is a requirement to understand exactly what is going on in the second, but it'll also show you where and how this movie has fallen short.  The exclusion of John Cusack as Adam (who is spoken about throughout this movie and who is replaced by Adam Scott portraying his son) is where this film's plot hurts the most.  The first movie, even though it was a ridiculous premise, still had a tad bit of heart sprinkled throughout because of the plot involving John Cusack.  This movie's premise has to deal with Lou, the giant A-hole of the group, and his problems.  And from a viewer's perspective there's really no reason to like Lou.  He's just a humongous dick.  A dick that seems to want to ruin his life no matter the consequences.  And having a movie with a main character that's hard to relate to or is barely likable, leaves viewers nothing to care about in the end.  So what you end up watching is a series of dirty jokes and over-the-top scenes that have no real relevance to each other, except that they include all the same actors. 

"So what do you guys think?  Should we get up and like pursue the plot or something?"

"Nah.  Give it a few more minutes."

Now, where the plot and story collapse is where some of the jokes and raunchy scenes excel.  If you like the idea of just sitting on the sofa and not having worry about paying attention or even listening to dialogue half the time, then this is the perfect movie for you.  You could literally hit play and then get up and pay bills, restring your guitar, or even reorganize your coin collection, and then finally come back to the movie and know exactly what is going on.  Why?  Because with the exception of a few minutes in the beginning and the very, very end, there's no real reason to listen to the rest of the film, except for the dirty jokes which occasionally will make you laugh.  So as long as you know why the trio has gone back into the machine, then you can go about your daily life without any worry of missing anything important.  If there's anything to be said about the writing in this film it is this: the writers manage to avoid plot for over 80 minutes of the 93 minute running time.  And that's the real achievement taking place.  So if you love the idea of listening to raunchy jokes and one-liners without purpose, then feel free to order this movie without worry.

"No I'm serious...all these cameras and stuff are like here to record all the stupid 

crap we're like saying and doing."

"Incredible."

THE ACTING:

This is a "B" comedy at best and the acting reflects that.  With Rob Corddry taking point in the film, you'll have to absolutely love the type of character he plays in all his movies.  He's a dick to his family, to his friends, and even to strangers he's never met.  So if that type of humor makes you laugh then you'll love him in this.  Corddry has been playing a version of Lou for a long time now and pulls the acting off with magnificent ease.  Craig Robinson also plays Craig Robinson.  If you've seen him in any other comedy, then you know what to expect here.  He's laid back and full of funny, dry one-liners.  In fact, he probably has the funniest facial expressions and scenes throughout the movie.  Clark Duke steps up his intelligent, voice-of-reason humor as Jacob.  Again, his character has also been seen in previous films, but here he gets a tad more screen time than usual.  Adam Scott portraying Adam Junior—John Cusack's son from the first film—is the only person that seems out of his element.  Typically his characters are sarcastic with a hint of intelligence.  Here he plays a naive douche-bag that's never had any fun in his life.  And if there's anyone in the film that could be considered annoying and stiff, sadly, it's Adam Scott.  His character doesn't fit the casting choice and Scott's acting seems like he doesn't really want to be there.  Popping in for a few minutes is also Gillian Jacobs miscast as the annoying Jill, Adam Junior's fiancée.  And last but not least is Chevy Chase, who shows up for a forgettable second as the hot tub repairman, so try not to blink.

"Tell me something: Are your pants to short?  Or are your shorts too long?  Cause I am very confused."

CONCLUSION:

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is exactly what you'd expect out of a sequel that lost its star.  The plot is nonsense.  The acting is on par with the writing.  And the jokes are sometimes too raunchy or disturbing for a laugh.  If you're looking for an hour and a half of background noise right now and you have something against the radio, then feel free to rent this film.  For everyone else, wait until Hot Tub Time Machine 2 graces cable so you can schedule in time to pay some bills and reorganize your stamp collection.  That way during the film’s running time, you'll feel like you've at least accomplished something.

2 out of 5 Stars (add a star for attempting a sequel without Cusack & another star for a few funny jokes)

Reviewed by: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

DVD Movie Review - Big Eyes

Big Eyes is a true story about art, business, creativity, women's status, and knowing how to keep a humongous secret.

STORY:

Margaret (Amy Adams) is an artist in the 1950's that decides to do something unheard of: leave her husband.  But while trying to settle down and start a new life with her daughter (Delaney Raye), she happens to meet another charismatic artist named Walter Keane (Christoph Waltz).  He's so taken by her art that he decides to marry Margaret and call her paintings his own.  Scandals, acrylics, phony smiles, great business ideas, and the silly art world ensue.

"Yes, I'm going to screw over everyone and really enjoy it." 

THOUGHTS:

How would you feel if your art was world renowned?  How would you feel if you made millions of dollars just by touching paint to a canvas?  How would you feel if your paintings could be found on post cards, in supermarkets, on TV, in museums, and in galleries?  You'd be the happiest artist in the world, right?  Well…how would you feel if you had all the above, except your spouse took all the credit?  Could you go on and live with yourself, knowing someone else's face was attributed to your art?  Those questions and questions about love, family, and real friends are at the heart of Big Eyes' story.

The film opens up in the 1950's and you get a taste for what it's like being a woman during that time period.  How obtaining certain jobs can be rough and how women weren't necessarily respected in the art community...at least not as much as men.  But Margaret is different.  She wants to pave her own way without a husband hanging around.  But then she accidentally meets the love of her life, Walter, the man who will turn her simple paintings of children into world renowned masterpieces.  The man that will give her everything she's ever wanted: a beautiful home, a huge bank account to support her daughter, nice cars, in-ground pools, and a gigantic studio where she can practice her art.  But it's all at a cost.  Each and every painting she produces has her husband’s name on it.  Ouch.  And that is the real treat of the film: the amazing true story of a no-name artist's claim to fame and how everything about the journey is one big colossal lie.

The film is directed by Tim Burton and aside from the huge eyes in the paintings, is a far stretch from what you're used to seeing in his films.  This is a true story.  So don't expect any crazy twists at the end (the ending is predictable) or people dressed all in black or monochromatic cinematography or even weird characters played by Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter.  In fact, the film is saturated in colors and is shot pretty straight forward for a Tim Burton film.  So if you're a diehard fan and are looking for a macabre aesthetic, you'll be quite upset when none of his artistic traits are present in this movie.

"I wanna thank everyone for coming out tonight and having to deal with my ridiculous hat." 

THE ACTING:

Christoph Waltz is unbelievable in this film.  If you've seen any of his previous movies then you already know what to expect.  The man becomes whatever character he needs to play and it's quite astounding to watch…so astounding that he'll make you hate him in this movie.  That's when you know the actor has done his job: When you can't stand to look at his face or fake smile anymore, because of his slimy and disgusting traits.  In the beginning you'll enjoy his suave dialogue and charismatic personality, but towards the end, when things start to unravel, he'll become the most hated person in the film.  Well done.  Amy Adams (Margaret) continues to impress in every movie.  Her ability to go from helpless mother to an emotional mess to independent is fantastic.  You'll feel each and every painstaking step as she makes worse and worse decisions in her life.  And pairing her with Waltz couldn't have been a better choice in the casting department.

"It says I've won a one year membership to the Jelly-of-the-Month club."

"It's what you've always wanted."

The rest of the cast pops in the story to push the plot forward, but also deliver respectable performances in their own supporting roles.  Danny Huston shows up as Dick Nolan, part movie narrator and the newspaper columnist that gets the Keane Art Empire rolling.  Krysten Ritter from Breaking Bad, appears as Margaret's good friend, DeeAnn.  She helps Margaret see her life from the outside looking in.  Jason Schwartzman jumps in the film for a few minutes here and there as a competing gallery owner.  As typical with Schwartzman, his scenes all contain a witty dry comedic nature.  The original General Zod, Terence Stamp, lends his expertise to the role of John Canaday, an art critic whose insight on the Keane masterpieces play a huge role towards the end of the film.  And both Delaney Raye (young Jane) and Madeleine Arthur (older Jane) respectively play Margaret's daughter throughout the span of a decade, but it's Raye that ends up showing the true problems of living in an oppressed household.

"I don't want your dime A-hole.  I want to punch you in the face."

CONCLUSION:

Big Eyes is a remarkable true story of a woman's passion to make her own way in life.  If you're okay with no crazy story twists or fantasy plots that director Tim Burton is known for; and you have no problem with biographical films, then you'll enjoy Big Eyes and its look into what makes the art world tick.  Now, if you're not an artist or a “creative” in any way, and a woman's life story and tragedies throughout her career sound slow and boring.  Then your best bet is to stay far away from this film and wait for it to grace cable instead.  But if you want solid acting, an unbelievable true story about a scandalous art empire, and want to see just how ridiculous the art community can be at times, then feel safe knowing you'll be in good hands with Big Eyes.

3.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for true-life predictable ending & ½ star for a few slow plot segments)

DVD Movie Review - Interstellar

The Nolan brothers return for a remarkable story about space travel, love, family, and the lengths humans will go to keep our race alive.

STORY:

Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) is an ex-pilot for NASA that spends his days farming.  The Earth is slowly dying and the only food that exists now is corn, putting the human race in peril.  Cooper struggles with each day, because he wants what is best for his family, but also wants something more out of life.  So when his daughter Murph (Mackenzie Foy) discovers an anomaly, Cooper can't help but get involved.  And what he discovers may change the future of the human race forever.  Gravity, black holes, superb acting, falling sand, book shelves, love, and family bonds ensue.

"I'm just saying, I know who the Batman is...I know."

THOUGHTS:

Christopher Nolan and his brother, Jonathan, know how to tell a story.  They never hold the audience's hand and they never reveal all their cards up front.  They give you bits and pieces of the whole picture as the film moves along.  It keeps the audience glued to their seat in anticipation and it builds suspense throughout.  These are the traits of great storytellers and luckily they're still putting out movies for the world to enjoy.

If you go into Interstellar knowing nothing about the film, there are a few key points that might make some movie-goers veer away from this story.  First off, this is a Sci-Fi film that's set in a somewhat near future.  So you're going to get space travel; conversations about black holes; confusing time loops; weird planets; talking robots with a sense of humor; big words; and a story that's grounded, yet still farfetched.  But all this is evened out by a main plot that revolves around Cooper and his family.  The question he faces is how far would he go to save his family?  To save his children?  And this is what makes Interstellar so compelling.  Yes, it has fantastic sets and amazing visuals that will make your eyes fall out of your head, but it also has a ton of heart.  This is more a film about a father’s love for his children than anything else.  So if you're okay with all of the above and are prepared to pay extra special attention to everything that is going on in the story, then you will love Interstellar.  If anything about the above turns you off, then it's probably best to avoid the movie or wait until it pops up for free on cable.  There's even a simpler way to put it: if you liked all the puzzles and mystery behind Inception, then you'll enjoy this film, because the same kind of twists are present here too.

"Yeah, we had something similar back in the 80's, they were called cassettes.  What kind of 

watts does this baby pump out?"

THE ACTING:

One word: fantastic.  And not just from Matthew McConaughey—even though he's practically the entire movie—but from the whole cast.  As per usual, Nolan knows how to direct his actors/actresses and it shows from the first scene all the way to the last.  The story takes McConaughey on an emotional roller coaster, and if you've seen his acting in True Detective or any of his more recent films, like Mud, then you know he can handle whatever the script can throw at him.  From excited, to sad, to depressed, to smooth, every scene is delivered to perfection.  Now, even though her part might not be as big as some of the other supporting roles, the young Mackenzie Foy (Murph, Cooper's daughter) is absolutely amazing too.  Her ability can be summed up in one scene: her father is leaving and she doesn't want him to go.  Her talent in this short scene is tremendous and proves that great acting can be found at any age.

Anne Hathaway plays Brand, another astronaut tasked with ensuring the existence of the human race.  Her role doesn't require many different levels of emotion, but she does fit the personality of a scientist quite well.  Brand's father, Professor Brand, played by Michael Caine is another perfect casting choice.  He has his moment in the sun later on, just like the emotional scene in The Dark Knight Rises.  Casey Affleck and Jessica Chastain both assume the older versions of Cooper's children later in the movie and both do an extremely well job of showing the longing of needing a father. And finally, John Lithgow pops up to dish out wisdom, while Matt Damon appears in the film to up the suspense towards the end.

"Listen, I'm not joking.  I've solved math problems as a janitor...this Astronaut crap is a 

walk in the park."

WHY YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT:

The Sci-Fi aspect of the film is one reason you may be turned off from the movie, but if you like space travel and screwy time loops, there may…may be another reason why you find the film hard to swallow.  The ending, like all films that deal with alternate realities and time shifts and the such, may present you with a plot hole if you look deep enough into the story time line and the events leading up to the ending.  Some people will be able to forgive this plot hole and just enjoy the amazing story unfolding, while others will bang their head against the wall because the ending might not exactly work.  If you've watched other films that have had time loops and slight plot holes and were fine with their endings, then this won't bother you at all.  If dissecting a film with a magnifying glass and a chalkboard is your thing, then you might have a smidgen of a problem by the end.

"I just have this funny feeling that getting in these tubes is how we end up with an alien 

bursting out of our chest."

CONCLUSION:

Interstellar is a magnificent addition to the Great Wall of Nolan.  The film carries the emotionally weight you're expecting, the visuals you're craving, and the superb acting that every movie needs.  You'll be blown away by the special effects and have your heart strings plucked by the touching story about family.  Now, if you found Inception to be a hot turd that did nothing but confuse you, then it's probably best not to spend any money on this film.  But if you love Sci-Fi and love the past work of the Nolan brothers, then this movie is a no-brainer.  Interstellar delivers on every level you've come to expect by Nolan…and then some.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus ½ star for slight plot hole)

DVD Movie Review - Wild Card

Review Note: By now, if you're going to see or rent or buy a Statham movie, then you already know what to expect.  The film most likely will not be Oscar bait.  Simple dialogue will run throughout, action will be prevalent, and someone, somewhere, at some point, will be getting kicked in the face.  These are Statham trademarks, and as such, from here on out, P&P will use a new Statham system to rate each of his movies.  One Statham being the worst (think Parker) to five Stathams being the best (think The Transporter).  Just keep in mind that a five Statham rating doesn't necessarily mean the film is as good as a regular five star review.

 

STORY:

Nick Wild (Jason Statham) is a security consultant in Vegas that has a secret past.  He spends most of his days as a degenerate gambler and con man.  But when a woman he knows gets the snot beat out of her, he does the one thing he doesn't want to do: he gets involved.  Soon after, Sin City's mafia is hunting Nick down, while he attempts to gamble and beat people with spoons.  Guitar riffs, Sofia Vergara's assets, house-trained toupees, silly laughs, third grade dialogue, and butter knife fighting ensues.

WARNING: Slight story spoilers ahead.  If you want be surprised, then do not continue.  Then again, this is a Statham movie and they're not known for being plot heavy.  So does it really matter?

"Maybe this Wild Card script is as bad as everyone says it is.  Then again, I am going 

to get paid.  Screw it."

THOUGHTS:

If there was ever a film that felt like it was shot over a long weekend by a bunch of buddies that were getting tanked up and just happened to have decent cameras lying around, sadly, it would be Wild Card.  A film's director isn't only required to yell cut and action, but he's also required to direct each and every actor, essentially getting them into character.  But that might be difficult when working with a script that doesn't have an overarching storyline.  When the film begins we catch Nick Wild as a little bit of a con man.  Then we see him accept a job as a bodyguard.  And then he just happens to gamble.  Along the way his friend is beat up and he decides to beat those guys up.  And after the very short hour and twenty minute running time, you'll wonder if the script was based on a book of short stories about the same character, because that's how it feels.  None of the subplots have anything to do with each other.  And the only cohesiveness throughout the film is Statham's hunky body.  Take that away and you’re left with random movie sequences.

CLICHÉ:

Almost every film set in Vegas will feature some type of gambling…obviously.  But this film takes the clichés and pounds you over the head with them: The con man trying to get out of filthy Vegas; the Italian mafia running things; the prostitute that takes a beating; the naive gambler that needs to be shown the ropes; and on and on and on.  All of these plots have been written to death, which helps Wild Card become just another story to add to the heap.  So where is the only place this movie could possible stand out?  Statham's action sequences, of course.

"What if I told you, I could beat you to death with this styrofoam cup?  Would that make 

you shut up?" 

THE ACTION:

This by far is the bread and butter of any Statham movie.  It's why guys watch anything he does.  You want to see him creatively beat someone to death in some new, twisted, exciting way.  Everyone knows the faster the punches, the more brutal the deaths, the more thrilling the movie.  So, unfortunately, you'll be slightly disappointed with the action in this film.  There are exactly three fight scenes.  One in the beginning.  One in the middle.  And—you guessed it—one at the very end.  The first one is a throwaway, because they took everything that makes martial arts awesome and threw it out the window.  The film actually shoots the first fight scene in slow motion.  Jason Statham is slow motion?  The Statham should never be in slow motion.  Why?  Because you could make Ronald McDonald look good kicking someone's ass in slow motion.  Statham needs to be set loose, not held back.  That leaves two more fight scenes.  There's one in a casino, which is slightly entertaining, and the last fight at the very end.  Now, you've seen Statham fight with oil and fire hoses before, but for the first time he will kick ass like he just came from a tea party.  The weapons of choice: a spoon and butter knife.  This hysterical action sequence almost makes up for the rest of the movie…almost.

THE ACTING:

As usual, the best acting in the film goes to Statham, but only because he's been playing this same character for years now.  It's basically himself in front of the camera.  No more.  No less.  Michael Angarano also joins the cast as Cyrus Kinnick, the young man that hires Nick Wild as his bodyguard.  Angarano will be the most annoying person in the film until the very end.  It's as this point that his acting skills finally shine through the silly character they wrote for him.  Milo Ventimiglia plays the villain, Danny DeMarco.  He shows up for terrible dialogue, cliché statements, and to get his ass beat.  Dominik Garcia-Lorido also gets beaten as Holly, the character that enables the Mafia plot line.  Most of the time she's quiet and busted up, but when she does open her mouth, expect low grade dialogue with little emotion.  Stanley Tucci pops up in the film to be a smooth mediator and to hear whining from the lead actors.  And last but not least, Sofia Vergara brings her assets to a tiny role for five minutes and nothing more.

"You dick!  No one talks about Mickey Mouse that way.  I love that rat."

CONCLUSION:

Wild Card is a stunning disappointment in the kick-ass movie genre.  Not enough action sequences and almost little to no emotion throughout the film, leaves you with absolutely no worries about the main character's life.  With dialogue that comes in at the third grade level and dozens of clichés floating throughout the plot, there's really no reason to watch this film.  Unless you want to see Jason Statham kick several asses with just a spoon and a butter knife.  If that's the case, rent the film, watch the last ten minutes, and then move on with your life.

2 out of 5 Stathams (add a Statham for having Statham in the movie and another Statham for the spoon fight)

DVD Movie Review - Horrible Bosses 2

Horrible Bosses 2 brings back the original cast with almost the same premise (3 idiots attempt to be criminals), but are the jokes just as funny the second time around?

STORY:

After the events of the first movie, Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis), and Dale (Charlie Day) decide to start their own company and create their very own product.  Their first big order comes from Bert Hanson (Christoph Waltz) and his son, Rex (Chris Pine).  But just as everything seems to be looking up, the three get screwed and end up in debt.  Instead of legally trying to fix the problem, the boys turn to Dean MF'ER Jones (Jamie Fox) and decide to try their luck in kidnapping.  Crude humor, stupidity, free cookies, American dreams, table biting, stick-drawings, toilet flushing, and fight clubbing ensues.

"You want the three of us to do another Horrible Bosses movie?  Sounds great...just as long as I 

can talk about my genitalia throughout the entire story."

THOUGHTS:

Just like any other R rated comedy that has even the slightest bit of notoriety, trying to write a sequel that delivers a fresh humorous story is the hardest endeavor for anyone in Hollywood.  And it's sad to say, but Horrible Bosses 2 is no different.  What worked in the original film is attempted here in the second and even though the movie has its hysterical moments, it still slows down dramatically in the middle and some of the jokes become tedious instead of spontaneous.  But don't misunderstand; if you loved the first one, you'd be right at home with the second.  Why?  Because of the returning cameos from the first film.  These small scenes help lift the film back onto its feet when the plot starts to drag a little.  So of you enjoyed Kevin Spacey's evil character or Jennifer Aniston's nymphomaniac dentist, then you'll love their appearances here in the second.

THE MUDDLED MIDDLE:

Horrible Bosses 2 starts off with a fresh and hilarious beginning as the three friends travel down the road of business entrepreneurs.  And the film even ends with some very entertaining scenes (the ending chase sequence is laugh-out-loud comical).  But it's the middle that gets a tad hairy.  It feels like the writers had a beginning and end, and then just decided to throw some crap in the middle to fill two hours of your time.  And you would think with the inclusion of Chris Pine in the cast the story would achieve new heights, but it's his part of the plot and a Jennifer Aniston cameo that actually brings the film's momentum to an almost full stop.  And you have to wonder why, because the movie just about touches the two hour mark.  Why wouldn't they just cut a little more out to keep the momentum going?

"I still can't get over the fact that this arm helps pilot the USS Enterprise.  Exquisite."

THE ACTING:

Just as with the first movie, Charlie Day wins the funniest person award.  His facial expressions and the way his voice gets high pitched when he's upset, definitely adds many laughs.  If you enjoyed Day's antics and whining in the original, then you'll once again love his scenes here.  Jason Bateman returns as the only level-headed guy in the bunch and feels almost normal opposite the other two.  He's in the movie just to point out every dumb idea and to try to stop the characters when something goes awry.  And then we come to Jason Sudeikis, who portrays the A-hole/horndog character that used to be funny, but now is more of a cartoon than anything else.  Yes, his character is created to disrupt the natural order, but they wrote him way over the top.  He's so stupid and so far away from the norm that his character doesn't fit in the story and most of the time will just aggravate the viewer with how adolescent he acts.  If there are any jokes that run too long or make you cringe, sadly, they'll be falling out of his mouth.  Chris Pine makes his debut in the series and plays the suave millionaire, Rex Hanson, to a T.  But when he's attempting to add humor to the conversation, he falls a little short.  It's actually his subplot that feels tacked on to the rest of the film, even though his character is what drives the story.  And last but not least is Christoph Waltz, appearing as Bert Hanson, Rex’s daddy.  He normally has the stand-out role in any movie, but here he comes and goes in a blink of an eye and only turns up to make you hate him.

"Ladies, when Hollywood asks you to be in a film at my age as just a sexual piece of meat, 

you scream yes and never look back." 

THE CAMEOS:

If you're looking for the crudest, most vulgar dialogue in the film, then look no further than Jennifer Aniston's Dr. Julia Harris.  She returns as Dale's ex-boss and still has an unbelievable thirst for sexual activity of any kind.  Some of her scenes are a little long and have nothing to do with the plot, but there are a few moments where she will make you laugh.  Kevin Spacey pops back in the story as Dave Harken and literally shows the entire cast what a real actor looks like.  Even though his scenes are quick and filled with dialogue about balls, you can feel his animosity towards the trio and you'll be sad when his cameo ends.  Jamie Foxx reprises his role of the smooth, yet confused, Dean MF'ER Jones.  At first he'll seem like a throw-away character, but towards the end, he has some of the funniest moments in the movie.

"I don't care if the story's lacking...I'm going to knock this Frank Underw--I mean Dave Harken 

character out of the park.  Deal with it." 

CONCLUSION:

Horrible Bosses 2, just as expected, isn't better than the first go-around, but still has its moments to shine.  The middle is a tad slow and some of the jokes are beaten to death, but if you thought the first movie was funny, then you'll also be entertained by the second.  The main characters seem like a slight repeat, but it's the cameos that help elevate the movie a tad higher than mediocre.  With Charlie Day leading the humor department and Bateman trying to even out the stupid, Horrible Bosses 2 is a comedy for fans of the franchise…everyone else should wait until it appears on TV.

3 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for the slow middle and for some regurgitated jokes)

DVD Movie Review - St. Vincent

St. Vincent easily blends dark humor, tragedy, drama, love, and friendship in one remarkable package.

STORY:

Maggie (Melissa McCarthy), a recent divorcee and her son, Oliver (Jaeden Lieberher), are attempting to start a nice calm life together.  But when they meet their new neighbor, Vincent (Bill Murray), all hell breaks loose.  See Vincent doesn't seem to have a polite bone anywhere in his body.  And on top of that he hates people and couldn't care less about anyone but himself.  But then things get complicated when Maggie needs a babysitter for Oliver and only Vincent is available.  Busted faces, religious jokes, pregnant strippers, and a character finally played by McCarthy that isn't an obnoxious mess ensue.

"Do I look like a man that wants to strap a proton pack on his shoulders again?  I've got 

real problems.  For instance: I've run out of vodka."

THOUGHTS:

You've seen the trailers of this movie and thought, "Bill Murray doing ridiculous crap like making a little kid mow dirt is hilarious.  This film will be a laugh riot."  Not so fast.  Before you rent St. Vincent because you're in the mood for a comedy, make sure you know just what you're getting into.  Most of St. Vincent's funny bits are dark humor, showcasing the absurdities in life and pushing the boundaries of their consequences, but there's much more to the story than Murray doing stupid crap and making jokes.  The film is more about everyday problems and how the main characters deal with these obstacles.  It's also about how people can do the most unexpected things given the right circumstances.  So you will laugh a little at Murray in the beginning, but come the middle and end of the story, you'll see why he's considered one of the most iconic actors of his time. 

At about midpoint, the film takes a turn for the dramatic and certain situations arise which might make the eyes tear up, but the best thing this movie has going for it is the ending.  It's not all sad.  The worst thing a film can do is leave a feeling of depression after the credits and this movie doesn't even come close.  But the story will definitely take you on an emotional roller coaster ride.  You'll be angry in the beginning.  Laugh a tad there afterwards.  Sadness will then kick in as some tragedies occur.  And then the ending is uplifting.  So if you were worried about sitting through a straight tear-jerker, relax…the movie is still quite funny by the end.  And that's really what puts this film in a league of its own when it comes to story.  Anyone can write a plot that continually hurts the characters straight through until the end, but being able to bring humor into the darkest of situations takes talent.  Not to mention the dialogue being superb and the acting unbelievable from everyone involved. 

"Ha.  You think you can just buy your way into the greatest franchise of the 80's? You have to--"

"Will twenty cover it?"

"Better make it forty."

THE ACTING:

Don't worry; Murray is still the highlight and main character throughout the film.  So if you're here to see him in his finest, he won't disappoint.  The only slight problem is the accent that he tries to pull off.  It's not a bad accent, it's just that it comes and goes…sometimes even in the same sentence.  Does it affect his performance?  Not in the least.  His transformation from hated neighbor to what he becomes is astounding.  Yes, the dialogue is top notch and the story is excellent, but Murray is still delivering his lines to perfection.  Now, there's only one other person that can match the power of the Bill Murray and that's Jaeden Lieberher.  He's the other anchor of the story.  Most of the film includes Murray, but when he's not on screen, Lieberher is pulling his own weight.  This young kid is excellent.  Every scene and every line is delivered with veteran qualities and when the two (Lieberher and Murray) share scenes together, they're hilarious, sad, and exceptional all at the same time.  St. Vincent is as much Murray's as it is Lieberher's film. 

Melissa McCarthy finally stepped away from the annoying character she's been playing for years and delivered a subtle cautious mother that's at the end of her rope.  Her character's reactions to the environment and Vincent are hilarious, but McCarthy also delivers quite a fantastic dramatic performance when needed.  You might even say she's a pretty good actress…as long as she continues to portray other characters besides an obnoxious woman trying to force people to laugh.  Naomi Watts plays Daka, a pregnant stripper that has dealings with Vincent throughout the movie.  You may think the character is a little over the top in the beginning, but towards the end you'll realize just how down-to-earth she actually is and how Watts' performance hits the nail right on the head.  Last but not least is Chris O'Dowd as Brother Geraghty.  He's Oliver's teacher and the film's comic relief that comes in small but exceptional doses.  Again the writing and dialogue is fantastic, but his delivery of each nutty line is perfect.  He even makes fun of religions (one of the most sensitive subjects in stories) and does so with grace and respect that keeps the jokes hilarious without making a mockery of the subject.

"Hey, easy with the seat belt...it's vintage."

CONCLUSION:

St. Vincent is an excellent portrayal of life through the eyes of ordinary people.  The acting is fantastic.  The story and dialogue are unbelievable.  It even takes two actors (Murray and McCarthy) that are known for comedy and creates exceptional dramatic performances.  Will it make you laugh?  Sure if you find dark humor funny.  Will it make you cry?  Probably.  Will you feel good after it's all said and done?  Definitely.  St. Vincent may not be the comedy you were expecting from a veteran comedian, but it's still definitely worth a couple hours of your time.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a half star for the silly accent)

DVD Movie Review - Predestination

Do not try to fight it.  Predestination is intended to give you a time-looping headache.  The real question is will the middle hold your attention?

STORY:

John (Ethan Hawke), a time-traveling agent for the Temporal Bureau, heads back in time to stop the Fizzle Bomber: a terrorist that kills approximately 11,000 people in 1975 New York.  But things get complicated when John happens to run into a person with an extremely interesting past, causing his last task for the Bureau to run the risk of failure.  Melted faces, violin cases, orphans, athletic women, writers, stolen babies, and one unbelievable twisted tale of time travel ensues.

"You know, I once flew into space using a tilt-a-whirl seat and various garbage.  True story."

THOUGHTS:

WARNING: Review is intentionally vague.  Describing certain scenes and or characters could ruin the bizarre plot.  As such, P&P has withheld a lot.  You’re welcome.

So you've just finished popping a few dozen bags of popcorn and as you're filling the barrel next to the sofa with buttery gold, you're smiling because you think you already have this movie pegged.  You've seen similar Sci-Fi tales where a time-traveling cop goes back into the past to stop a terrible tragedy.  It's been done.  It's cliché.  You're pretty sure Predestination will be nothing but boring from start to finish.  And then the movie starts rolling and you realize you couldn't be further from the truth.  Sure, people that find Sci-Fi to be nonsense or mysteries to be dull will still not like this film, but if you're into the above, then give Predestination a whirl, because you haven't seen a plot line like this before.  Ethan Hawke said in an interview that he wanted the movie's tag line to be, "Predestination…go f*ck yourself."  And after you watch the film, you'll understand why. 

Predestination is the kind of movie that requires complete undivided attention.  Without giving too much away, it does start like all other time-traveling crime stories you've seen before.  One man must go back in time to stop a horrific event from unfolding, and he has only one jump left into the past to do it.  But then Predestination throws a curveball about a half hour in and instead, a story unfolds about a very unique person.  See, the Fizzle Bomber still remains an important factor of the plot, but that part of the film won't even remotely stack up to rest of the crazy twists that you'll be seeing on screen.  And this is where the headache will begin to set in.  Questions will start to arise like, "Could this person be the Fizzle Bomber?" or "Does Ethan Hawke realize he's rocking a pornstache?"  And don't worry; those questions will get answered by the time the credits roll (alright…maybe not the pornstache one).

"Man, I really need to stop eating people right before work.  It's ruining my chances 

for advancement." 

But there are two slight problems.  Problem one: Predestination's crazy story almost makes Sci-Fi sense until the very end and then—BAM—everything gets blown out of proportion.  And what almost worked in a fictional time-traveling loop ends with a humongous plot hole.  Some people will try to make sense of it, while others might brush off the entire film because of it.  But it's this very scene that Ethan Hawke was talking about in his movie tag line.  So…does it make sense?  A better question would be: Does it really matter?  The film is already fictional, so why not push the boundaries even further?  Either way, the scene was written for the initial shock value and it certainly works.  You'll either really like it or you'll want to set fire to your TV.  But no matter how you feel, you'll be talking about the ending as soon as it's all over.  And problem number two: the middle of the story shifts from Sci-Fi thriller/mystery to Sci-Fi drama/mystery.  And this transition may be the point where some people feel the film slows down dramatically as Sarah Snook's character, Jane, takes center stage and the Fizzle Bomber/Ethan Hawke storyline slowly crawls its way back into the movie towards the end.  But if you're invested in the characters, the mystery behind them will definitely hold your attention until the credits.

"If you're waiting for me to dance or pull a lever to splash water on myself...that's just not 

gonna happen.  At least not before lunch." 

THE ACTING:

Ethan Hawke is excellent in the film...even with the silly scratchy voice he's trying to pull off.  At first the voice might get on your nerves, but relax, there's a reason behind the way he's talking.  In fact, there's a reason behind everything in the film.  So if you're willing to stick it out until the end, you'll probably be sickened, angered, shocked, and dumbfounded.  But at least everything gets answered.  Certain scenes required Ethan's character to be emotional, strong, sad, and confused, and without even a hiccup, he easily fills the shoes of the second protagonist, John.  Why the second and not the first?  That's because someone else steals the movie away from him.  Ethan Hawke's character is more of a bookend: showing up in the beginning and towards the end, while a large chunk of the middle goes to another person entirely…

Sarah Snook.  She plays Jane and her character's evolution in the storyline is astonishing.  Mentioning anything else about the plot will ruin the shock...and it’s this shock that needs to be kept for the film to work the way it was intended.  But all you have to know is Snook delivers top-shelf acting chops that help bring the entire film together by the end. 

"Keep looking at me like that, slut, and I'll rip my heel off and stab you with it.  In the most 

polite way, of course." 

CONCLUSION:

Predestination may not be the greatest film you see this year, or even one that will earn an Oscar, but you'll be talking about it and trying to understand it as soon as it's over.  On top of that you'll never forget just how shockingly crazy the story actually gets.  It's Sci-Fi at its strangest.  The film not only pushes the "boundary" of what's possible in fake realities, it takes the "boundary" out back and shoots it.  So if you want an original story that'll leave a mark and maybe even make you a little sick to your stomach, then give this film a shot.

3 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for the ending plot hole & for the somewhat slow middle)

DVD Movie Review - John Wick

After years of unmemorable protagonists, Keanu Reeves finally unleashes a character that action junkies can get behind.

STORY:

John Wick is a simple man with one simple love: Helen, his beautiful wife.  And when tragedy strikes in his life, a cute little puppy turns up to help him overcome the pain.  But then fate intervenes again and poor John is struck with a second bout of misfortune: robbers break into his house, punch him in the face, steal his car, and hurt his cute little puppy.  These events become a big problem, but not for John Wick.  They become a problem for the people that interrupted his simple life.  Why?  Because John Wick is not really a simple man.  He's actually a gun-toting, death-dealing machine.  And everyone that was involved in the break-in (including their families) is about to have a bad day.  John Wick is back and he's pissed.  Gun kata, cute puppies, badass cars, Russian bathhouses, gorgeous contract killers, and sheer action awesomeness ensues.

"After we finish our cereal, I'll tell you a little story about a red and blue pill."

THOUGHTS:

About the first fifteen minutes of John Wick is filled with nothing but sorrow, somewhat stale dialogue, and close-ups of Keanu's unshaven face.  And some of the sorrow will cause even the toughest of guy to shed a single man-tear.  But relax.  The film isn't all despair and heartbreak.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  In fact, there's a light in the middle of the tunnel too.  See, right after all the sorrowful events happen, the movie switches gears and what follows is a series of fantastic popcorn action scenes that require little to absolutely no thought process.  And sometimes, when the timing is right, that can be the best type of movie.

If you're renting or buying John Wick then you already know what to expect.  (You've watched the trailer, right?)  There will be no sudden twist at the end.  There will be no fancy "boy meets girl, girl hates boy, boy reconciles with girl by lying" story lines.  There's no mushy father and son bonding.  There's not even dramatic dialogue after the first fifteen minutes.  It's just a bullet-killing train that doesn't stop until Mr. Wick gets his man.  And if you're okay with that, then you'll love this movie.  Now you're probably thinking, "Yes, but is the action any good?"  It's not good.  It's fantastic.  And that's not the best part of the film.  The best part is the feeling of seeking revenge and being totally content in how the film ends.  More often than not, Hollywood tries to be clever by making revenge films that end with the protagonist learning a hard lesson like "revenge won't bring back you're loved one or it'll only make you feel worse."  Well this film doesn't dilly dally.  It ends exactly how you want it to end and it feels great once the credits roll.

"Spiderman...Spiderman...Spiderman.  Why is it always about Spiderman?  All that time he spends 

alone, spanking it, I bet he can't even work a juicer.  Douche."

ACTING:

Keanu Reeves is easily the man as John Wick.  Finally a role came down the Hollywood pike that was perfect for him.  Sure a few early dialogue scenes with Willem Dafoe can feel a little stiff at first, but once all the blood splattering gets going, you'll forget all about that and just focus on the awesomeness.  Reeves' movements look like they haven't aged since the Matrix.  He can still pull off sliding, punching, breaking arms, throwing women through glass, and even the occasional bullet dodge.  He's the center of the movie and he's definitely what makes it tick.  Without Keanu looking proficient while pointing a gun, the movie would've went right down the tubes.

"How's my makeup?"

"Fine.  You might wanna get that gash above your eye looked at though."

Every single character besides John Wick is basically either a stepping stone for him to murder or just a plot piece to get to the next action sequence.  Mr. Wick will actually spend a little bit of time asking questions to find his target and that's when several actors and actresses show up.  First is Wick's longtime friend in the story, Marcus, played by Willem Dafoe.  As mentioned above, the initial dialogue between the two feels awkward, but Dafoe quickly slips into hitman mode and remains perfect for the role throughout the rest of the movie.  Adrianne Palicki brings her curves into the story as the sexy/dangerous, Ms. Perkins.  The scenes with her that unfold will make you think twice about turning your back on a beautiful woman.  Ian McShane pops up as a hotel owner/hitman-godfather.  He's not around enough to make that much of an impact, but his scenes are definitely memorable.  John Leguizamo sprouts up to have a drink with Wick and Bridget Moynahan spends her time in faded memories as Helen.  And finally, Michael Nyqvist (Viggo Tarasov) and Alfie Allen (Iosef Tarasov) are the cause of the whole plot line and spend most of their time trying to avoid John Wick…and sometimes even in humorous ways.

"I'm not gonna lie.  Ice Age was hell, man.  Absolute hell."

CONCLUSION:

John Wick may not tug at the heart strings throughout its running time.  Or tell a tale that requires much thought to enjoy.  But if you're in the mood to sit on the couch with a giant bucket of popcorn and just enjoy the fast-paced killing scenes unfolding in front of you, then don't even hesitate to rent John Wick.  The film is one long kick-ass scene after another and you wouldn't want it any other way.  Keanu Reeves delivers a fantastic performance as John Wick that'll leave you wondering just where in the hell he's been hiding the character.  Now, if you're looking to squeeze this into a date night, there is an "aw" moment in both the beginning and end.  So using the puppy is probably the best way to lore the better-half away the Notebook for the umpteenth time.

4 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for slightly awkward dialogue and a simplistic plot)