Book Review - Apathy and Other Small Victories

To harness a reader’s curiosity and attention, all it takes is one eccentric sentence.

If you’re like most readers today, you'll scour book stores in search of the perfect literary entertainment.  You’ll glance through four and five star reviews, and probably even read book summaries.  But the most important part in your quest to acquire an entertaining story is to read the first couple of pages, sometimes just the first paragraph.  And then once in a while you'll come across a book that contains a beginning sentence so unconventionally goofy, that it makes you wonder what possibly could come next. 

Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan contains such a sentence.  When you open up the book to the first page and read, "I was stealing saltshakers again," how could anyone with even the slightest sense of humor, not go on?  In those five measly words, the author right away tells you that this is not your typical story.  This is a story that comes direct from left field, and if you're looking for a literary masterpiece…you might want to put this book down immediately.

Self explanatory.

STORY:
Shane is apathetic (hence the title).  He would like nothing more than to stay in bed, roll around in salt, and get drunk in the grimiest of bars. When he's woken up by two detectives looking to question him about a murder, his life is turned upside down.  He spends the rest of the novel looking back on where he might have gone wrong.  But when everything you do is a mess, how can you pinpoint just one thing?  Off-the-wall drinking, sleeping, working, and sex ensue.

THOUGHTS:

If you see humor in what other people call the normalcy of life, then this book will be right up your alley.  Between Shane having limp tuna sex with someone's wife, an upstairs neighbor named Mobo (that may or may not be intimate with his guinea pig), a dentist that gets his head stuck in bus doors, a deaf girl that sings very bad karaoke, terrible sleep habits in the work bathroom, and an independent woman who beats Shane half to death during sex—where can you possible go wrong?  The only other story in the humor medium that comes close to this book is Office Space.  Both share the same revulsion toward work and both see the world through a dark sarcastic microscope.

The perfect companion to this novel.

The murder that shows up in the beginning of the novel will seem like the glue that's needed to carry this book, but in fact, after about ten pages of Shane's back-story, and just his wacky take on life, the murder and its investigation will become unnecessary.  Sure, every few chapters the story comes back to the present to explain just what’s happening with the investigation, but the real meat of the book is Shane's ridiculous life. Crap just seems to fall in his lap, even when he tries his hardest to sleep through it.

"Where the hell is Thompson? He's been absent from his desk almost six hours now."

By the time you devour about half of this novel, you'll come to realize that there are other people out there that think exactly the same frigged-up way you do.  And it'll put a smile on your face. Every page and almost every paragraph has comedic value that either makes you crack up or want to share with others.  You’ll experience rough sex, illegal sales of secret suitcase products, a deaf birthday party, the first ride on a broken-down bike, and how to walk after hours of sleeping in the work bathroom.  If none of that sounds appealing, then my friend, you’ve been doing life all wrong.

By the time the story ends, you'll have laughed, probably not cried, laughed again, and even re-read some parts out loud to make others laugh.  But don’t worry.  You’ll be completely satisfied as the entire book wraps up nicely by the last page.

"So that's one fish fillet sandwich with extra mayo, do you want fries with that?"

WHO THIS BOOK ISN'T FOR:
If you wake up in a forest every morning and spend the rest of the day consoling trees, then this probably shouldn't be on your to-read list.  If you decided to save the environment by wiping with just your fingers to eliminate paper waste, then most of the words in this book will definitely offend you.  If staring at a monitor in a cube-farm until your eyes bleed, sounds like fun, then put this book down immediately.  If you've watched Office Space and kept repeating after it ending, "I don't get it," then spend your time doing something else, like reorganizing your protest posters.

THEN WHO IS THIS BOOK ACTUALLY FOR:
People who find humor in any and all things.  If you wake up every day and look forward to breaking your wife's or husband's balls, then this is the perfect book for you.  If you walk into work and picture the front door shaped like Dante's gates to Hell—definitely your kind of read.  If you're the type of person that just wants to be left alone to masturbate to the new issue of Kitchen Wares, this might be your book…and you might want to seek professional help.

"I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."

CONCLUSION:
Apathy and Other Small Victories is the perfect addition to your humor library, and should not be missed.  The shame comes in the fact that the author, for whatever reason, has not produced any novels since, and this may be the only chance we get to frolic inside the mind of Neilan.  So if the above silliness sounds like your cup of tea, head out and pick this up.  If you’re looking for a light, fun read for the extended holiday weekend, this could be the perfect book.  Just remember to share some paragraphs with friends, it may be the only way to laugh at life's absurdities.

4 out of 5 stars (minus 1 star for the author not writing a second novel)

Out on video this week: Now You See Me (Click for our review)