Dexter
takes a break from logging to get a fantastic mullet cut and chase down
perverts with mud on his face.
STORY:
Richard
Dane (Michael C. Hall) has a wife and son that need protecting. When a sound is heard in the middle of the
night by his wife, Ann (Vinessa Shaw), Richard loads his father's revolver and
attempts to thwart the thief. Moments
later, a man is dead in Richard's living room.
But that's alright…it's Texas in 1989 and killing someone in your home
is considered self-defense. So Richard
cleans the mess and goes back to his simple life of framing pictures and
raising his boy. But the dead thief has
a father…a criminal father that was just paroled. So soon after, the thief's father, Ben Russel
(Sam Shepard) comes knocking on Richard's door wanting revenge. Crashing Ford Pintos, VHS tapes, counting to
ten, exploding popcorn, and bloody genitals ensue.
"I don't know, Honey, the painting just doesn't seem to go with the rest of the bloody decor. Maybe
we just need to kill us another thief? Ya know...to even it all out."
THOUGHTS:
Have
you ever played an RPG and after chasing the main quest for about 15 minutes,
you happen to come across a side quest and figure, "well, let me knock this out real quick and then I'll jump back into the
main quest." And after a few
minutes, that side quest turns into another side quest, which turns into
another side quest, and you finally look back and you're on a path completely
non-related to the original quest and you have no idea how you got there. Well, this film is exactly like that. Even if you read the "story"
outline above, you'll never in a million years guess where the plot leads and
that's because the ending storyline has almost no relation to the beginning
storyline. The movie feels like the
writer began one story and then decided it wasn't going anywhere, so he pulled
a second story out of the closet and just attached it to the first.
Even
the main character feels like two different people. The Richard in the beginning of the movie is
a scared husband that's just trying to keep his family safe. And his actions are made purely on stupidity
and curiosity. But the simple questions
that motivate Richard at the start are quickly tossed out the window, and what
you're left with is a protagonist that makes decisions for no other reason than
to fill two hours of your time.
"You sure this is where you buried the jar of pennies?"
"Listen, I reckon there's about fourteen bucks somewhere around here, and two days of
digging is worth that kind of dough."
DEXTER:
Cold
in July delivers really bad hair, ugly cars, terrible clothes, bland dialogue,
and a main character that doesn't seem to know which way is up. If you're like
most, you saw the actors in the movie and thought, "Sam Shepard is pretty good and—holy shmoly is that Dexter?" But don't be fooled. The protagonist, Richard Dane, is in no way
even remotely as interesting as Dexter.
Hall's Richard looks like he's caught in a never ending fog throughout
the movie. Never does he look like he
understands a word that anyone says and he's almost never certain of his
actions, which establishes a man that's void of any personality. On top of all this, his dialogue is short and
only seems to move the plot along without any real reactions to the story
unfolding.
"But...but you promised I could grow me one, Honey. What's it gonna look like if I'm the only one on
the bowling team without a ponytail? I'll be the league fool."
THE TWIST:
(SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD. If you want to be somewhat surprised, then
skip this paragraph.)
When
the film starts and after about thirty minutes, you'll think you have a pretty
good idea of just where the story is leading.
Then a twist occurs and it'll keep you interested, but after a second
revelation—having something to do with Sam Shepard's character—the movie takes
a hard left turn into pornographic woods and never, ever, comes out. Without giving too much a way, if you were
expecting a revenge story, then you'll be greatly surprised and disappointed
with how the film actually concludes.
>>END OF SLIGHT SPOILERS<<
"Says right here, he's the Mayor. Got himself a business card and everything."
THE ACTING:
The
best of the bunch here is Sam Shepard as his storyline is stronger and has much
more range than anyone else. He's creepy
when he's looking for revenge, but will also gain your sympathy as the story
progresses. And then there's Don
Johnson, who plays Jim Bob. If there was
ever a name that instills intelligence, it's Jim Bob. Johnson steps into the film with swagger and
just enough cartoon goofiness to stick out like a sore thumb among the rest of
the mundane characters. If there's a reason
to laugh, it'll be his lines and reactions that'll get a giggle. But it's not enough to pull the movie out of
the depressing hole it falls into. As
stated above, Hall's character is unremarkable and unmemorable, and that's just
sad, considering who the man played in the past. And finally, Vinessa Shaw climbs aboard the
meandering movie ship as Richard's wife, Ann.
Her character is hilariously oblivious to everything her husband is
doing and comes off more as a set piece than anything else.
"Well there's your problem right there...it's C-a-t, not K-a-t. But don't feel bad, took me about
thirteen years before I could remember that."
CONCLUSION:
You'll
want to like Cold in July for its throwback to 1980's gritty crime dramas, but
sadly, it feels more like a made-for-TV
movie that a network plays around four in the morning when people are tuning in
to see what infomercials are running. If
the plot didn't stray so much from the initial story, or maybe if it even tied
up a few loose ends in the finale, then this would be a movie worthy of a free
watch on a premium channel. But boring
dialogue and a slow crawl through uneven terrain will lead most viewers to
forget all about Cold in July. If you're
thinking of renting this, wait until it makes cable. It's not a movie you have to rush out to see, and
if you do end up enjoying the plot, then you can be thankful for getting all
its greatness for free.
2.5 out of 5 Stars (minus two stars for meandering plot & dull dialogue and a half star
for mullet)
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