DVD Movie Review - The Hangover Part 3

The Hangover Part 3 is so good, you'll relish each and every moment you spend counting popcorn kernels along the way.  Not only is the movie super intricate, but it remains highly productive.  You won't believe the amount of stuff you can get done once you slip it into the DVD player.  Want to catch up on those pesky bills that fall behind the sofa?  No problem.  How about getting in some sleep, or a little laundry, dusting, vacuuming, or how about re-sorting the porn stash?  All can be completed while watching the Hangover Part 3.  Why?  Well, because any remnants of actual story, acting, or dialogue will vanish as soon as you hit stop, whether at the end or in the middle.  So, if you feel like being productive for the first time this year, run to your nearest Internet movie site, and pick this sucker up.

"Hahahahaha...you thought it'd be funny?  Hahahahaha!"

STORY:

It all begins with a sullen score and scenes of everyone's favorite Asian, Mr. Chow, escaping a maximum security prison.  Never mind how he does it, he just does it.  Then we skip across the world to Alan, who needs help being a little less dickish.  The wolf-pack and family decide Alan needs an intervention to explain to him he's sick and should be sent away from society and basically everyone.  So, when Doug, Stu, Phil, and Alan hop into a minivan to start their drive, the van is run off the road and—surprise—Doug is kidnapped, leaving the wolf-pack to get him back.  What do they need to do to get Doug back?  Find Chow and a whole lot of stolen gold (not kidding) and turn it over to the kidnappers.  Extensive none-funny jokes, throw-backs to the original and bad acting ensue.

"Damn.  I think I just ran over real acting skills, again."

THOUGHTS:

For a movie containing three actors that would probably be having more fun naked skydiving into a volcano, the Hangover Part 3 isn't that bad.  Of course you might accidentally turn it off after the first thirty minutes, trying to convince yourself that the dog stepped on the remote, but that doesn't necessarily mean it’s a bad film…just one that should've never been made.  If the original Hangover showed the world an "R" rated comedy can be king, the Hangover Part 3, showed the world you should stop while you're ahead. 

Humor can heal even the worst movie plots, but it has to feel fresh.  The film doesn't repeat many jokes from the first two movies.  It just shoves lines in your face and tells you they're funny.  Some of the dialogue and performance—especially from Galifianakis (Alan)—makes you want to cringe.  Not only are the lines delivered badly, but his body language and even the way he sounds makes it seem like he didn't want to be there at all.  Ken Jeong (Mr. Chow) tries his hardest, but almost all of his movements, gayness and crazy screaming are just a rehash of the first two films.  Ed Helms was granted the role of movie extra.  And John Goodman pulls off adding tension to the film as the kidnapper, while Black Doug (yo, stop with the black crap) makes an appearance to help build a story out of thin air.

"Am I the only one around here who knows how to act?"

Instead of a silly comedy about three guys making a mistake, this movie turns into more of drama/action negotiation, without all the drama, action, or negotiating.  The film would have made more sense if they went down the serious road and tossed in a few laughs here and there.  But sadly, the writers ran out of gas and filled the first hour with useless junk and flimsy dialogue.  "So where does the ridiculous plot come from?"  Glad you asked.  It's created using two minutes of dialogue and a few flashbacks, changing Mr. Chow from a fun loving, drug-induced idiot, into an evil drug-induced idiot with a whole lot of stolen money.

The only redeeming quality of the movie comes in the middle, involving a scene that happens right after the wolf-pack runs into Heather Graham's character.  (Don't get too excited, she's only in the movie for about three minutes.)  It involves Zack Galifianakis running into another familiar character from the first film.  No spoilers here, but let's just say, his acting is top-notch, the scene is touching, and it brings back the magic of the first movie.  "How can that be?  I thought his acting was terrible throughout the film?"  It is…when he's trying to be funny.  This scene has him acting somewhat sincere and it absolutely works.

Please, Mr. Galifianakis, we're filming.  Waving at the cars, just makes them honk more.

The remaining thirty minutes juices up the action, moving the film along, and has many tie-ins to the original.  They bring back Vegas, casino roofs, hookers, loud music, drugs, and more Phil (Bradley Cooper).  Cooper is the only person in the film who hasn't lost his likability.  He becomes the glue that barely holds this mess together.  And in the end, the movie does wrap up the series nicely.  It's just too bad the first hour felt like the writers jotted ideas on paper, taped them to the wall and launched darts to see where the plot took the wolf-pack next.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep.  Us taking any pride these movies had left and jamming it directly down 

the garbage disposal."

CONCLUSION:

With forced prolonged jokes, bad Mr. Chow karaoke, tired actors, and a terrible plot, what's not to love about Hangover Part 3?  The film contains everything you need in a threequel that should have ended two films ago.  The last half hour, Bradley Cooper, and a decent music selection are the only things keeping this film from being total garbage.  If you've already worked your way through the first two movies, then why not one more, right?  Just don't spend a dime.  Wait for the movie to premier on TV, so you can at least feel good about yourself after it's all over.  Oh, and don't forget, you can always get some work done during the viewing.

1.745129 out of 5 stars (minus a star for Stu, Alan, and Mr. Chow, and then a little more for everything else)