Music Review - Chris Cornell Songbook Tour 2013

Who: Chris Cornell

What: Songbook Tour 2013

Where: Scottish Rite Auditorium

When: November 24, 2013 at 7:30pm

WARNING: If you just had to Google Chris Cornell to find out who he is—first: shame on you, and second: there's probably no reason for you to read the rest of this review, but then again, it might be well written and somewhat humorous.  So if you have nothing else to do for the next five minutes (Can porn really wait?) give it a read.

If in the past you cruised around in a black primer Camaro on Friday nights cranking Outshined, or Spoonman, or Hunger Strike, or…well you get the idea, then this concert should be right up your alley.  No, there are no loud guitar riffs, or nutty drunks throwing beer or fists your way.  And no, you probably won't see women flashing or getting stripped naked while stage diving.  But an amazing history of talent will be unleashed to a smaller crowd, creating a pleasurable and intimate experience that will be hard to match.  So grab a loved one, a better half, or one of the kids, and head to the nearest venue to see Chris Cornell, one of the best vocalists this side of rock music.

You may look at this photo and see his guitars, amps, and microphone, but what truly puts 

Mr. Cornell in a league of his own...is the rotary phone (on its own stool).

STORY:

Chris Cornell, front-man of Soundgarden, Audioslave, and Temple of the Dog, ditches all other musicians and hits the road, Lone Ranger style, to perform from a deep well of songs that spans decades.  Anecdotes, record playing, rotary phones, guitar strumming, bicycle riding, and perfect vocals ensue.

INTRODUCTION:

In a tiny New Jersey town, known for…well, nothing, Chris Cornell came out on stage in an antiquated theatre filled to the brim with an older, yet “cultured” audience.  Most of the front rows jumped to the stage to welcome the musician and were thanked with heartfelt waves and handshakes.  Cornell then placed an open palm over his eyes to shield the lights and announced the theatre is "interesting" and that it looked like a place the witch trials might have occurred.  After a short story about his family and current place in life, one of seven guitars was strapped over a shoulder and an impressive history of his music, peppered with a few tributes, followed.

Because he gets recognized everywhere he goes, Mr. Cornell has been advised to dress as 

Johnny Depp from "Secret Window."

HOW LONG IS THE SHOW?

One would think a lone man with several guitars would probably crank out an hour or an hour and a half of entertainment, and then call it a night.  Nope.  Not here.  Mr. Cornell played for a whopping two hours and fifty minutes.  His energetic enthusiasm might have let him sing well into the morning, but being a family man now, he has to think about others, and instead packed up the show around 11:30pm.  With an opening act (Bhi Bhiman) starting exactly on time and playing about a half hour, that brought Cornell onto the stage a tiny bit after 8:30pm.  So if you’re looking to get completely trashed ahead of time and slip in just before Cornell takes the stage, a one hour difference from the start time should ensure plenty of alcoholic debauchery.

Chris Cornell can be seen here, doing what he does best: trying to swallow a microphone.

WHAT TO EXPECT:

A laid back, easy-going, yet funny musician will talk about his career and then sing whatever song strikes his fancy at that moment.  If the audience contains totally sloshed, middle-aged women, expect a lot of screaming about how sexy Chris is and random songs they want to hear.  The venue (whether it was the theatre or how the tour handles photography in general) didn't care too much about cell phone recordings or random flashes from cameras.  So stuffing your super-8 down your pants and telling the security guard it’s a left-over dinner plate is probably not necessary. 

Standing room was non-existent and most of the show people remained calm and in their seats.  If you're going to the Songbook Tour to expose your love of Audioslave and how much you like punching people in the face, you're in the wrong building.  Stabbings, assaults, and gun violence have been moved to the random Rage Against the Machine concerts and any show containing the Wu-Tang Clan.  Now, if you're really a lucky attendee, you might just have a happy crack-head couple taking puffs of their happy crack-pipe during the show with the police department six feet away.  Nothing says smart like smoking crack within arm's reach of the law.

After decades of living as a rockstar, Mr. Cornell announced this was how he got around nowadays,

and that trying to strap the equipment to the bike is hell.

Most of the songs Cornell sang were just him and a guitar, but two instances saw the opening act (Bhi Bhiman) walk out on stage to help with Hunger Strike and other impromptu songs like Led Zeppelin's Over the Hills and Far Away—which after about midway through Cornell gave it the kill sign and announced, "...you'd be surprised, but between me and Bhi Bhiman, there are millions of songs we don't know."  The strangest, yet most interesting portions of the concert occurred when Chris broke out the vinyl.  Yep, in addition to a rotary phone on stage (no idea why he had that) there happened to be a record player.  (For the young kids out there that don't know what a record is: pretend someone took your iPhone, flattened it, rounded it, and then spun it on a table, after hitting play.)  Cornell would rummage through several vinyl sleeves, pull out the one he wanted, get that sucker spinning, and then sing along to the music. 

If you search the web for Chris Cornell's Songbook Tour playlists, you'll find multiple sites listing off the many different tunes your ears might hear.  What you'll get is anyone's guess as he seems to decide what's next on the spur of the moment.  But you might hear a little Zeppelin or Beatles or something of the like, which added to the special feel of the concert itself.

CONCLUSION:

For an amazing intimate show from a performer who has wowed audiences with his high notes for decades, you can't get any better or funnier than Chris Cornell.  Not only will you hear exceptional lyrics and melodies, but you'll catch a glimpse into the man himself.  The smaller the venue the better, as the show at the Scottish Rite felt like Cornell was playing in your living room.  If you've enjoyed any past concerts with Chris as the front man, then the Songbook Tour of 2013 will not only surprise you, but will also help you understand the soul that sits behind the instrument.

4.5 out of 5 stars (minus a ½ star for the unnecessary opening act)

DVD Movie Review - Red 2

Red 2 forgoes seriousness and a sensible plot to bring you zany one-liners, cliché driving sequences, and a cast that seems to be having more fun than a bunch of eighteen year olds at a strip club on 25 cent wing night.  But sometimes you have to rate a film by its title and not by what the Motion Picture Association expects.  This movie was not written to be stuffed in the category of straight drama.  It's written to be off-the-wall ridiculous with a side of action and absurdity.

STORY:

Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) is trying to be happy with a normal life of weekends spent perusing Costco with his main-squeeze Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker).  But unbeknownst to Frank, Sarah feels as though the relationship is getting a little stale.  She misses her wild and crazy ex-CIA, tough guy.  Sooner than she can say "relationship counseling," Marvin (John Malkovich) shows up and announces there might be some trouble in Frank Moses-Ville.  Mini guns, cowboy hats, hilarious stunts, silly product placement, grenades, bad Russian accents, red mercury, refrigerator doors, and Pringles ensue.  Oh and there's a nuke scenario somewhere in there too.

"It's okay, Bruce, we'll get you and John on some really good Meds and you'll never

have to go back to that crazy hospital again." 

THOUGHTS:

Let's make it real easy.  If you liked the original Red film, then you'll have no problem with Red 2.  If you thought Red was just some wacky garbage Bruce Willis accidentally fell into, then this movie will not change your mind.  What was introduced in the first film is even more over-the-top in the second.  The sets are bigger, the fights are more outrageous, and the guns have grown considerably in size.

"Alright, on three, everyone say 'Cheese.'"

If you haven't seen the first film, there's no need to go out and watch it, because the entire world of Frank Moses is seen and questioned through the eyes of his newly acquired love, Sarah.  Mary-Louise Parker seems to be having the most fun on set watching an aging—but lovable—cast make asses of themselves to produce a decent action/comedy romp.  You'll come to realize that you have more affection and love for the actors, than the character roles they're portraying.  And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

John Malkovich is positively out of his mind.  Helen Mirren, who plays Victoria, shows off her love of violence.  Anthony Hopkins gives a spectacular performance as the recluse doctor with a shady past.  And Neal McDonough from Band of Brothers and Justified, tries to maintain a cool, steely frame, when underneath is just screaming for an opportunity to laugh.  If you're wondering about Mr. Willis, it seems he decided to show up on set and have at least some fun, making the film enjoyable to watch, as opposed to the recent Die Hard disaster.

"You think you have it bad in the trunk?  I'm riding around with a guy wearing a 

cowboy hat, carrying a jar of spiders."

Now, a full-blown silly action movie would be nothing without its exotic sets.  You'll be whisked from Hong Kong, to England, to sexy Paris, and even have a quick lay-over in beautiful New Jersey.  (What?  New Jersey's beautiful in a look-that-kid-has-a-third-eye kind of way.)  Each different set is then filled with explosions and larger-than-life bad guys for Frank and his unbalanced partner Marvin to dispatch.  But it's not all action.  Even though Sarah wants more fun in her life, jealously takes hold when one of Frank's ex-girlfriends shows up, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones.  So not only is Frank trying to save the world from a nuclear catastrophe, he's also dealing with relationship struggles throughout. 

Malkovich gets the easiest role as the nutty partner.  Using body language, great facial expressions, and sometimes well written one-liners, he becomes the most likable out of the cast.  If you enjoy dialogue like, "Why don't they dip our balls in honey, and stake us to an ant farm," or him slapping a foreign bad guy and telling him to, "Leave Mickey [Mouse] out of it," then this will be your type of movie.  If none of that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, then stay as far away from Red 2 as possible.

There is one person in spite of all the outrageous antics being had on set, who brings fierceness and excellent martial art skill to the film: Byung-hun Lee.  You've seen him as Storm Shadow in the G. I. Joe franchise.  If you thought he was extremely bad-ass in those films, he is absolutely amazing on screen in Red 2.  Not only does he radiate ferociousness with a side of calm in every scene, but he steals the show whenever on camera.  And what he can do with a refrigerator door is nothing less than Jackie Chan-esque.

"Listen, I don't care what you can do with refrigerator doors, or how high you can 

lift your leg, I'm John McClane."

PRODUCT PLACEMENT:

It seems Red 2 needed more sponsors to pay for the extremely large cast.  And what better way to do that, than have Bruce Willis take out bad guys using Pringles.  Hey, did you know the easiest way to sneak into the Kremlin is through the bathroom of a Papa Johns?  You didn't?  Well, you will after you see this movie.  If product placement annoys you somewhat, you might have a little trouble stomaching the ads in the film.  But the good thing is the film has already gone so far off the humor-cliff, nothing seems out of place anymore.

"No, no, I got it.  Yeah, I'll tell her.  Well, you were right.  They gave me the increase I asked for...they'll just 

be reducing your check to compensate."

CONCLUSION:

Red 2, when all said and done, has some sneaky twists you may not see coming.  Some of the driving sequences and fights scenes seem over-done, but there's only so many ways you can kill bad guys, before repeating a few things.  If you're in for just some laughs and enjoyed the first film, then this movie will feel like a homecoming.  Now, if the action antics of Bruce Willis have become old and stale in your book, then it's better you sit this one out, because there's no way this film's going to make you a believer.  In the end, Red 2 did exactly what it set out to do: become a top-rate asinine action movie.

3 out of 5 stars (minus two stars for some cliché action and a plot that no one cares about)

Book Review - Fun & Games

Duane Swierczynski's Fun & Games is exactly as the title implies: a whacked-out, drug-induced, roller coaster that hits speeds fast enough to rip your skin off...or at least make your lips swallow your face.

STORY:

Charlie Hardie spends most of his time as house security.  Okay, that may be a little strong.  More like he's a house sitter.  So booze, movies, and other people's couches have pretty much become his life.  Until he steps into his latest house gig in the Hollywood Hills and finds a drugged-up actress hiding out in a bathroom.  Before Hardie can say "I'm tired," he's wrapped up in a situation that seems hell bent on making him dead.  What's the situation?  Well, Lane Madden—the drugged-up actress—may or may not be kidding when she says the Accident People (well-funded hitmen who make deaths look like—wait for it—accidents) are out to get her. Impaling, deadly gas, unfriendly needles, topless sunbathers, and accidents ensue.

"I don't know...but that voice kinda reminds me of this guy I threw out of a window once."

THOUGHTS:

From the first couple of pages you'll get the feeling the author loves his action movies.  Scenes scream by, dialogue is kept short and humorous, and inner monologue is almost non-existent.  On top of all that, each chapter begins with a quote from a movie.  Now if you’re reading the book and happen to know the origin of each quote, then you're the author's exact target audience.  If you see the quotes and wonder, "Who is this Mel Gibson character and what is this Lethal Weapon they speak of?"  Then maybe you've accidentally wandered into the wrong book category.  But that's okay, because your "War and Peace" tome is just a few aisles over.

If you're a fan of ordinary people finding themselves thrown into extraordinary circumstances, then Fun & Games will be your drug.  Think Die Hard meets Excess Baggage—without all the bad acting from Alicia Silverstone.  Hardie just wants to get drunk and watch old movies, but when life calls and asks him to put in a little overtime, he exceeds better than expected.  Hardie may also have some John McClane similarities—tendencies to really piss off the bad guys—but you'll easily accept them because one: John McClane is awesome, and two: not many action novels grace today's shelves. 

"Lips and what?"

"Told you they're disgusting."

"What are you talking about?  Now I know why it tastes so good."

Now, this book does demand one thing: a sense of humor.  From the opening pages to the very last paragraph an underlining humor exists in every line of dialogue and in almost every paragraph.  If you appreciate crap like having the man in charge of the whole bad guy operation, actually be a topless woman with perfect cans…then this novel will definitely make you smile.

"So what you're saying is the author really has nothing to offer, but humor?"  Of course not.  The book is well written, the plot is fast and surprising, and there's also tragic moments sprinkled throughout.  See, you'll come to realized that the hobo Charlie may not be the guy you thought he was from the opening scenes.  As you progress through the book a backstory emerges that'll surprise you quite a few times.  And once it's all said and done, Charlie comes full circle, leaving him with more depth and humanity than needed.

"Shh...you had me at hello."

Then we come to Lane Madden, the Hollywood star that Charlie's trapped inside a mansion with.  Most feminine characters are used as mere filler.  Something you give the story's leading man as a prize for taking down the bad guy.  Not here.  Lane is a full-blown, flushed out woman with problems and feelings of her own.  She also happens to be quite capable with a microphone stand, so don't get too close.  If you're looking for a romance between the two, you might have look elsewhere, as the sprinkling of flirtation doesn't exceed beyond Hardie having a few typical male thoughts about his partner.

That brings us to the bad guy or bad people in this instance.  Most of the time, you'll only see their name with maybe a few paragraphs on how they're feeling at the moment.  And some people might think of them as cookie-cutter bad guys—which they might be at times—but that doesn't take away from the story that's trying to be told.  See, the book isn't about some pissed off antagonist looking for revenge, because his mommy didn't hug him enough.  The book is really about Charlie trying to work his way out of the crap he just so happened to fall into.  And it's quite a lot of crap.  Now with that said, some of the funniest dialogue exchanges happen with the bad guys, or one bad girl in particular.  The same bad girl who might prefer to be topless, and Hardie's reaction to her blasé nakedness is perfect.

 

"Sorry about that.  I accidentally tried to talk into my gun after pressing down the trigger."

WHO'LL HATE IT:

Boring folk, of course.  People that need every word to have five hundred different meanings, so they can write a thousand page essay on what they thought the author was trying to say.  Those people need not apply.  Also, if you place tobacco in your pipe, pick up your monocle, and then sit in an over-sized floral chair reading novels—in a living room devoid of TV—then you may not have the taste for this kind of word-slinging.  Though, stranger crap has happened.  If you're a forty-something year old housewife that ran over a few people on their way to the bookstore to pick up all three volumes of Fifty Shades of Slop…oops Grey, then this novel probably won't tickle your undercarriage.

"Look at this.  How are we supposed to find this guy?  Maybe we should have had a 3rd grader 

sketch him in crayon.  At least it'd be in color."

CONCLUSION:

Anyone going into a novel named Fun & Games, expecting it to cure cancer, might have their definitions mixed up.  Fun & Games is nothing more than the title says.  It's fast.  It's simple.  It's fun.  And it's packed with action and unbelievable scenarios.  Everything a growing boy—or girl—needs.  If you're in the market for a quick, action thriller, peppered with surprises, than look no further.  Duane Swierczynski's Fun & Games has you covered.

4 out of 5 stars (minus a star for the somewhat shallow bad guys)

2013 Game of the Year: GTA 5 vs. The Last of Us

In just a few days the next generation consoles will roll off the assembly line, get wrapped up in boxes, delivered to a store, and will sit until a lucky gamer can come by and claim their machine.  But before we set sail to the high definition isle, there's one thing that still needs to be defined for this generation: Game of the year.  So gather round my cheese ball munching, joystick fondling, introverted friends.  It's the time when people pull opinions out of thin air and vote for the game most likely to succeed.  P&P is proud to present the two GOTY finalists.

In the red corner: Rockstar's GTA 5, whose expertise in jumping from air crafts and killing innocent bystanders is second to none.  And in the blue corner: Naughty Dog's The Last of Us. The game that emphasized, not only can zombies be a problem during an apocalypse, but people in general can be dicks too.

"All that work for a lousy nineteen bucks.  Well, better try across the street."

GAMEPLAY:

The two competitors couldn't be more different.  GTA 5 harnesses humor and satire, along with violence and bat-crap crazy characters, while TLoU uses storytelling, world building, and narrative to pull you in.  Both games contain moments where a character might not react exactly like you wanted, but even with these minor hiccups, the titles still delivered excellent controls and combat, lively NPCs, gorgeous vistas, top-shelf animation, and addictive pixelated fun to keep gamers on both sides of the fence happy.

CATEGORY WINNER: Tie

"Hold on, because I have a feeling this might not end well!"

PRESENTATION & GRAPHICS:

GTA 5 is a monumental feat in what's possible on the current generation consoles.  Most animations are smooth and there's no need for the game to load certain areas as you progress from one side of the map to the other.  Being able to drive the entire locale, watching the scenery drastically change and environments fill with NPC's—without drops in frame rate—is astounding.  Cutscenes are also produced with cutting-edge motion capture and world-class voice actors.  And over-the-top dialogue is delivered with charm and style.

TLoU is the only game you'll remember where you never glimpsed a saving or loading screen throughout the entire single player.  If you had the time, you could play the game straight through and not once be pulled from the experience.  Granted, the world isn't as big as GTA 5, but the amount of work and detail put into each area is unbelievable.  Not only is your avatar and their motions highly detailed, but the cutscenes are seamless, keeping you immersed throughout the entire story.  The game also contained the same attention to detail with top-of-the-line motion capture as GTA.  And the voice actors delivered touching dialogue and extensive emotional range.

CATEGORY WINNER: Tie

"I have no idea what language you just spoke, but do you have like five minutes to go kill some people?"

THE WORLD:

GTA 5 has a map so huge, if you hopped inside your stolen pixelated car and decided to drive around the whole thing, it'll take you quite a while.  The diverse landscapes of mountainous, desert, beach, city, and forest, can be considered expert world building.  Being able to construct a map with seamless transitions and amazing vistas is beyond comprehension.  The world of GTA 5 is a monumental piece of art and gaming history.  If other developers want to even consider a sandbox experience, they have some pretty big shoes to fill.  This is where Rockstar shines the most.

Not to be out done, TLoU also has epic environments, but in a completely different sort of way.  Naughty Dog littered environments with backstories and pieces of a world long forgotten.  Sure, you could have run through the entire game and not stopped once to read notes left by loved ones, or journals kept by survivors, but that would mean you missed the bigger picture being painted.  TLoU created a story within a story, using the world environments as its palette.  Naughty Dog's exception to detail is note-worthy, but it's not quite enough to overcome GTA.

CATEGORY WINNER: GTA 5

"You tell me what's better than this and I'll tell you, you're full of crap."

ONLINE:

GTA 5 fans will stand behind their game no matter what.  Even if it came out of the Internet gate like it had been shot in the foot—though that may be putting it gently.  If lag was the only problem, not too many people would have been whining.  No, instead characters disappeared, saved games became unsaved, people were tossed from servers, and if you were really lucky, you didn't get to play at all.  "Yeah, well, see…it's a really big game and stuff has to be worked out—okay?"  Not okay.  Not when you're judging a product by its release on day one.  Oh, that's right...GTA's online section didn't happen until weeks later and they still couldn't get it right.  In fact, all the magic promised from the beginning has yet to be included in the online version.  Now, this doesn't mean it’s not fun once you do get online and run around, but Rockstar still has plenty of bugs to work out and areas to add, before you can say GTA 5 has a full online facet to the game.

That brings us to TLoU.  Not only did the campaign hit the sweet spot among gamers, but the online aspect was a perfect complement to the single player.  You couldn't go around killing other gamers and stealing their money, but you could build bombs, create makeshift weapons, and support your buddies while taking on the enemy.  Teamwork is rewarded and you always get a sense of worth when the game ends.  It may not be as big as GTA, but TLoU online is a wonderful addition to a great game.

CATEGORY WINNER: TLoU

"Joel, look at that.  It says you'll be able to pull heists with your friends through the use of the Internet."

"Ellie, there's an old saying from a world that once was: 'Believe half of what you see, 

and nothing of what you hear...or read.'"

REPLAY VALUE:

TLoU's story held such great emotional moments and dialogue that it's hard to want to go back and ruin the experience by repeating everything.  We're not saying that you won't, we're just stating that the story is impeccable, and only experiencing it once is absolutely acceptable.  Naughty Dog also did away with multiple endings.  One story.  One outcome.  Besides online play and missed trophies, there might not be a reason to go back and replay the title.

GTA 5 on the other hand has thousands of reasons to go back and play the game.  If you talk to anyone who has played a GTA game, the hardest thing to do is follow your tracker to the next mission.  Why?  Because there are numerous things that will distract your attention along the way.  Anyone with ADHD will have a hell of time trying to complete the main story arc.  Forget online, just roaming around the single player map gives you hours, upon hours of extra stuff to do.  Want to try to jump out of a plane and land atop another plane.  Have at it.  What about hitting multiple people with your car, waiting for the ambulance to show, and then stealing it?  Or pouring a line of gasoline that ends at a multiple car explosion?  Your imagination is the only thing holding you back in a GTA game and if yours is lacking, then pop onto YouTube to see what whacky crap other gamers are thinking up.  The truth is GTA 5 has the most replay value out of any game this year.

CATEGORY WINNER: GTA 5

"All I know is...this so-called Halloween party better be awesome after all the crap we 

just went through to get these ridiculous masks."

CHARACTERS:

GTA 5 came equipped with the perfect solution for having three main characters.  Implement an in-game scheme that allows you to switch between any of three characters on the fly.  Genius.  But do all three characters have great enough story-arcs to be included as an integral part of the game?  Michael had the pain-in-the-ass family that whined and left him, but we all knew they'd be getting back to together.  And Franklin's gang-banger title left his story fenced in without an ability to grow.  Leaving everyone's favorite nut-job to pick up the game’s slack: Trevor.  Being so unpredictable made his missions enjoyable.  But he also turned out to be the most complicated of the three.  Yes, he might be crazy, but deep down inside hid a man who just wanted to be loved.  And let's not forget his unwavering respect for friends and their family.  Trevor was and will always be the most interesting character of GTA 5, leaving the other two as mere filler.  But the true question still remains: Did you relate or care for these characters or were they just fun to embody and wreak havoc?

How do you make a gamer worry for your character's child?  Easy.  By starting the game as that child.  You're then able to feel their uneasiness and fear.  With those emotions established, Naughty Dog then changed perspective to Joel, forcing the player to protect this helpless child.  These little experiences in the narrative brought The Last of Us out of the gaming realm and up to new heights.  Not only was Joel's daughter complicated in the brief time you knew her, but every character you meet along the way had depth.  Including the bad guys, who never saw themselves as bad guys.  And if you know anything about character building, having a protagonist believe they're doing good is the best way to create a complex individual.  TLoU went above and beyond writing their characters, backstories, and dialogue.

CATEGORY WINNER: TLoU

"Ellie, remember when you said you could take care of things by yourself?"

"...yeah?"

"Well, now's your chance.  Go take that guy out and I'll stay here to cover your back."

STORY/EXPERIENCE:

These two categories go hand and hand because the experience creates the story and vice a versa.  Even though GTA 5 granted permission to switch between characters, not having all three fully developed, hurt the narrative.  And having three, made it hard to relate to any.  Most experiences had you switching from one character to another, neglecting any time to really relate to Michael, Trevor, or Franklin.  Would GTA 5's story been better off with just one character?  Not for us to say, but its GOTY rival seemed better for it.

Having TLoU tell the story of Joel's heartbreak, lost hope, and then reawakening is absolutely masterful.  The switch in the narrative to Ellie, mid-story, lent even more to their relationship throughout their plight.  Typically, most games are structured around having multiple endings, but Naughty Dog took a chance for better or for worse, and gave the world what they thought was the story that needed to be told.  And it paid off.  Even though the experience is somewhat linear, it never took away from the heart of TLoU—the narrative.  The story came first with Naughty Dog and being able to deliver perfect gameplay around it, created a title that elevated to a flawless experience.

CATEGORY WINNER: TLoU

"What!?  He was talking crap about you two and nobody talks crap about my friends.  Even if one's 

a liar and the other a homie from 'Da Hood.'" 

THE FUTURE OF GAMES:

This is really what it all comes down to when picking the game of the year. Forget which game had the craziest car crashes, the loudest explosions, the best twists, or the most hookers.  It's really all about which game you would like to see become the model for every game thereafter.  Which game created such an impact that all other games should try to fill just a smidgen of those shoes to be worthy of gamer cash. 

When all said and done, GTA 5 was an astounding achievement in the GTA series (and it sure did bring in a ton of pesos), but it's still just another GTA game.  Would we want other games to mimic parts of it?  "Well, Jim, the graphics look phenomenal and the world is huge, but there doesn't seem to be enough hookers.  We need more hookers, Jim, if we're going to compete with this GTA thing." 

Then you have The Last of Us, which may not have brought in as much bacon as GTA 5, but the characters, dialogue, story, world, presentation, weapons, voice acting…hell even the zombies were interesting.  If there's one game P&P would like developers to try to emulate, it would be The Last of Us.  So 2013’s GOTY title goes to—cue the euphoric trumpets—Naughty Dog for The Last of Us.  Just thinking what that studio will be able to accomplish with the next generation box gets our nether regions flaming.

2013 Game of the Year: 

The Last of Us

"You smell that, Ellie?  That's the sweet scent of success."

Keep on developing Naughty Dog and we'll keep on playing.

Book Review - Gripped + Mini Review - The Sandman: Overture #1

Hitting the publish button for a first-time writer can be the equivalent of saying okay to Butch, your newly acquired girlfriend in prison.  Nothing but fear, pain and questions like, "Will I contract any new diseases?" or "What if I like it?"  Yes, plenty of alcoholic drinks are consumed during the process and yet, everyday more and more books hit stores and e-shelves.  The author takes great risk birthing a novel, knowing full well that “Internet Crazies” get to speak their mind on each and every word.  So it's hard not to commend an author just for having the guts to take their word-baby and release it into the raging Internet seas.  Jason Donnelly took the plunge and released his first novel.  And although it may not fly out of the gate…it ends in a gallop.

"So if I stay like this for forty hours, a check made out to me arrives on my desk?  Incredible."

STORY:

Marky McCarren seems like your typical horny male with nothing to do in his spare time, but talk to his cat, date his right hand, and draw hilarious pictures of his boss.  Sadly, Marky loses his job and all that fun comes to an end.  But not to worry, following a creepy TV commercial and phone call, a strange package shows up at his doorstep.  Now, Marky has to make a decision: open the box outside his door or follow common sense and run far away in the other direction.  Of course he opens it.  And that's when the Program sinks its teeth into every facet of Marky's life, even quickly changing his name to Mark.  Masturbation, awkward dates, random deaths, product reviews, and secret societies ensue.

"What's in the box?"

"Whoa, Man!  Blu-rays.  Just some Blu-rays."

THOUGHTS:

Donnelly's first line and paragraph kick you in the nuts, but quickly thereafter the trappings of a wet-behind-the-ears writer, surface, and the next few chapters can slow to a crawl.  The story picks up pace once the shady box containing the Program arrives, but the novel still holds some misgivings of an inexperienced author.  Beats in the dialogue can seem sporadic, misspelled words linger about, and sentences wander instead of utilizing effective adjectives.  Even some feelings and actions repeat throughout the story in almost every chapter.  But there is light at the end of the tunnel.  As the book moves forward the pace slowly climbs and by the end, the writing and story seem to tighten up and accelerate to a respectable jog.

THE RIGHT HAND OF LOVE:

The first several chapters deal with Mark reaching climax so much it'll surprise you that he hasn't broken off his boyhood in the process.  Including the subject in the first sentence and paragraph will make you chuckle.  But to turn to that joke again and again is like raising a healthy horse and then repeatedly beating it with a stick until dead.  And then going back the next day and beating it some more, because maybe the people watching you beat it the first time, didn't quite catch on.  You may also feel embarrassed for Marky and some women may even think that's all men do when alone, but it's not true ladies.  Occasionally, we happen to play video games.

Get those dirty thoughts out of your head.  He's actually folding laundry, while looking 

at wedding pictures.

THE PROGRAM CONFLICT:

"This is all well and good, but just what the heck is the Program?"  Well, it seems to be a series of Blu-rays and messages, telling Marky exactly what to do each day and if he doesn't follow them, there may be consequences.  Each task set by "Big Brother" pushes the theme of consumerism and how it shapes individuals and society.  Throughout the story some chapters do tickle the drama angle by having people disappear or maybe blow up, but you'll never really find out the truth.  Instead of cranking the tension and chasing the thriller bug, the novel has Marky following the Program perfectly, disregarding conflict and answering none of the questions raised in the text.  For instance:  "Does a secret society really exist?  Was Emily (Mark's girlfriend?) ever involved?  Did the Program really murder people?  Did Mark have to masturbate so much?"  These are all respectable questions.  The main character even happens to grow throughout the book, changing from raging-hormone Marky, to suave, respectable citizen, Mark.  "So does that mean the Program is good?" Again…a great question.  The answer may be simple: the author wants the reader to draw their own conclusions, or maybe he wanted the theme to carry the interest throughout the story.  Either way, you're left stranded like a one-legged jack-ass at the bottom of a ladder.

"Says here: Village idiot."

"Yep."

"Nice."

PRODUCT REVIEWS:

Not only do some jokes and actions repeat, but there are also oddities that find themselves squeezed into the book.  For instance: product reviews.  You might find it cool that the writer decided to include actual reviews of stuff throughout the text, but all this really does is pull you out of the story and make you skip ahead.

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL:

Once Mark acquires his new broadcast job the story will flow much quicker than previous chapters, utilizing energetic scenes, trimmed sentences, and less inner monologue.  The job itself can be somewhat hilarious as all his duties are really punched up a notch to show you just how silly advertising has become.  Networking and social media have the laugh-book thrown at them and there's also some fun seeing how Mark handles each and every work day.  Sometimes it's just easier for him to go in knowing nothing and making crap up.

"C'mon.  Does this look like a face that has no idea what he's doing?"

CONCLUSION:

The last half of Gripped will keep you turning the page and excited for what comes next.  But having an abrupt ending that leaves important questions unanswered and neglecting conflict, keeps the novel from achieving greatness.  If you work in cube-farm marketing or at this very moment are downloading a new picture, sending a text, answering a tweet, checking email, watching a movie, and reading this review, then this book just might tickle your fancy.  Hopefully, Jason Donnelly (author) will one day venture back into the world of Marky and provide some much needed answers.

3 out of 5 stars (minus two stars for repeated jokes & unanswered questions)

_________________________________________________________________________________

Mini Review - The Sandman: Overture #1

Neil Gaiman, the famous word slinger, has recently made a return to his roots.  His comic book, The Sandman, helped elevate his brand decades ago and this past Wednesday he released the first book of a planned six issue prequel dealing with the famous character Dream.  The Sandman: Overture will unravel the events leading to Dream's capture and if you're a Sandman or Gaiman fan, then run out and pick this book up—that's if there's any left on the shelves. 

Not only does the writing capture a dream-like, poetic state, but the art complements the prose perfectly.  Every page harnesses imagination and fantastical qualities that only J. H. Williams III and colorist Dave Stewart can pull off.  The sweeping whimsical feel to every layout is masterful.  And having these artists attached to Gaiman's idyllic storytelling is as close to a perfect comic book as you can get.

The first issue deals with Dream and his work, introducing his daily routines and also the new threat that he can't quite put a finger on.  The story itself reads like a dream floating through a universe you can't possibly understand.  And for a first issue leading up to an event that Sandman readers already know, the book does a great job keeping you interested and excited both visually and lyrically.  The Sandman: Overture is definitely a must read for fantasy, Gaiman, or Sandman fans.  And if you're all three, well, you'll wonder why it took Mr. Gaiman so long to come back.  But it is a welcomed homecoming.  The only problem with the book is its inflated price tag of $4.99, which may dissuade a few people still teetering on the fence.

4 out of 5 stars (minus a star for price)