The Bronana Point System
Developed by
Zenoda Inc. and Hank Bananas
Welcome fellow Bronanas, thrill seekers, and
the random grandmother that clicked on the wrong link. You’ve discovered the holy banana grail. The words listed below will tell you all
about the new Bronana point system at Hank Bananas’ stream. Confused already? That’s okay.
Just keep reading on. See as
you’re just hanging out and having fun in the stream—as long as you are a
follower (AKA Bronana) of the channel—you’re building points (AKA Bananas). And this article will explain everything you
need to know, so you can get back to Hank’s stream or continue surfing the web
for kinky porn. So sit back, relax, grab
your favorite snack and continue on.
THE BANANA POINT SYSTEM
You’re probably saying to yourself, “How the hell does this point system work?”
or maybe “Why does my room smell like
dirty feet?” Well, this paragraph
can’t answer the latter question, but the former is easy. While you’re hanging with Hank and the rest
of the Bronanas, in the background, you’re also banking “Bananas.” So the longer you
stay and watch the show and the more times you come back, the more Bananas you will earn. Now you’re probably thinking, “So what?
So I’m earning Bananas. It’s not
like I can take them down to the local store and buy food, or water, or
entertainment, or bubblegum, or stationary, or even prophylactics.” And though that may be correct, there are
other prizes (discussed a little later) that can be obtained with your Bananas, so keep an eye on your total
and spend those suckers however you see fit.
So how do you check your Banana total?
By typing !bananas in chat and
that will send a message to the Bronana Bot to spit out your total. Easy, right?
Of course. But before you go
straight to the prize section of this article, there are other ways to earn
even more Bananas, besides just
hanging out.
GAMES & BETTING
Interactive games and competitions are being
developed every day at the HankBananas studio of Laughs and Stupidity and you
can be a part of it. Doesn’t that just
warm your heart or tickle your nether regions?
Of course it does. So on top of
just watching, Hank will hold various games for extra points like guessing a
movie from an audio track or guessing if the fantastic music you hear is from
vintage porn. Many games are being added
every day so be sure not to miss a broadcast and your chance to make a few
extra Bananas in the process. But wait, that’s not all. Also in the works is a shiny new betting
system! Do you sit at home wishing you
could go to a casino and throw away all your money? But you’re either not old enough or too
lazy? Not a problem. You’ll be able to gamble away all your Bananas or increase your Bananas, depending on how lucky you
are. The betting system will open up
when Hank takes on a level boss or other various challenges, and if you think
he’ll get his ass kicked or fall off a ledge, then bet against him. If you think he’s awesome—just like the rest
of the world—then bet on him. No matter
the outcome, fun and hysterics will be had.
And if you do throw away all your Bananas
on a bet, no need to worry, spending time in the channel will simply earn those
Bananas right back.
PROPER ETIQUETTE
Before we get to the prizes, let’s talk about
proper etiquette. Something no Bronana
has, especially Hank. But don’t fret,
just read on to find out how to properly handle yourself during one of these
various competitions. A raffle will be
held in chat to become a contestant in a game.
And if you win—you lucky dog you—you get to play. Hank will personally call out your name and
ask you questions. So now’s the time to actually
pay attention to the stream, and if you don’t answer the questions when asked (within a reasonable amount of time) the
contest will choose another contestant and move on. Each of your various answers should have Hank
tagged in chat. What does that
mean? Add a @hankbananas in your answer somewhere and you’ll
automatically tag him, so he can see your response better. Yay…for paying attention and playing by the
rules.
But what if you don’t win the raffle and don’t
become a contestant. Yes, life at times
will take a pie and smash you right in the face with it, but that doesn’t mean
you should be angry, or sad, or excited in ways no one wants to know. Why?
Because there are always other competitions coming up in that stream or future
streams and odds are you’ll be picked eventually to have some fun. Also, if you don’t win a chance to play, no
need to call out the answer in chat if you know it like some Tourette patient
on crack. If you know the answer, just
breathe and wait. If the contestant
gives the wrong answer or doesn’t know the answer, Hank might just give some Bananas to the first person that types
it in chat. So be patient. Be proper.
Be cool. And pay attention.
BRONANA PRIZES
You really didn’t read any of the above did
you? You skipped all the funny, and vital
information in the above paragraphs, didn’t you? Eh.
You won’t be the first, and you certainly won’t be the last. So let’s get down to the real reason you’re
here. You don’t care about games or porn
or betting or background bots that are stealing your identity and buying every
season of Glee on Blu-ray with your credit card. Of course you don’t. You’re just worried about what you can get
out of the system. And aren’t we all? Well here’s the list of current goodies you
can spend your Bananas on (this list
is organic and can add, subtract, or change prizes at any time). SPECIAL
NOTE: Do not type any of the commands in chat unless you are certain you
want to spend your Bananas on something.
There are no refunds. This isn’t Wal-Mart. Once your Bananas are subtracted from your
total, they are gone and spent. Enjoy the
prizes, Bronanas; you guys/gals are worth it.
Request a song
Bananas required = 1300
Type in chat: !songrequest <input song title
here>
Hank likes to play a few songs as an intro to
every stream. Well now you can be part
of his intro by requesting a song from his vast library of music or from a
music video on YouTube (a link will need to be supplied). He’ll introduce the song like a drugged out
radio DJ and mention that everyone can enjoy or be upset for the next few
minutes because of you. Doesn’t that sound
like fun? Of course it does. NOTE:
The song will be played on the next broadcast, so be mindful of Hank’s starting
time if you want to hear your name and song.
Play with Hank day
Bananas required = 4000
Type in chat: !viewerday
Hank will hold a play with viewers stream on a
day selected by him. If you’d like to be
part of this and will be able to play, then this prize is for you. Just think of all the fun you’ll have
shooting Hank dead, or slicing him into little pieces, or crushing him in a
race. The bragging rights alone will get
you into the hottest clubs around the world.
People will just throw themselves at your feet because your video game
skills. It’s everything you ever needed
to be awesome in life.
Shout-out Weekend
Bananas required = 6500
Type in chat: !shoutout
Do you want to be the talk of the town? Do you want people to start whispering your
name in secret circles? Well then you’ve
definitely come to the wrong place, because this prize is for people who want
to hear me continuously call out their name for an entire weekend. The stream, the followers, the games, the
competitions, and even the jokes will be brought to the viewers by you! That’s right.
You. You will be the stream’s
sponsor for an entire weekend. Did a
ridiculous death occur? Well you
sponsored it. Did Hank crush an
extremely hard boss? You sponsored that
too. So if you’re looking for vanity,
this is the prize for you.
Private command for a month
Bananas required = 16000
Type in chat: !commando
Do you like seeing those ridiculous commands
pop up from Moobot? Or do you hate
seeing Moobot pop up every stream? Well
now you’ll be in control of what he says for one month. You get your own personalized command for
Moobot. Will it be a command that
announces your presence in chat? Or a
command that announces your departure?
Or maybe it’s just some random mess you threw together while drunk. Either way, it’s your command and it sticks
around for a month. NOTE: pornographic and vulgar commands will be purged by
Hank. Also note, Hank is not responsible
for Moobot taking a coffee break whenever he feels like it.
Moderator for a Weekend
Bananas required = 20000
Type in chat: !mod
This is it.
You’ve hit the big time. Do you
have dreams of pushing people around in Hank’s stream? Do you envision yourself as a moderator with
a humongous stick that will beat down random viewers for no reason? Fantastic!
Then take that crappy attitude somewhere else. But if you want to help Moderate the channel
for a weekend with kindness and humor, then this is the prize for you. Everything you say will now come prepackaged
with a shiny sword next to your name…for an entire weekend! SPECIAL
NOTE: Remember, what Hank giveth, he can taketh away. Own up to your new responsibilities. If you abuse them in any way, they will be
removed without question. And remember,
Moobot and Hank love you.
Giftcard
Bananas required = 24000
Type in chat: !giftcard
Have you been with the Bronanas for an
extremely long time and feel as though you need a good pat on the ass? Well this is Hank’s way of giving you a
gentle tap on the behind and then a very long, uncomfortable hug. Here’s the best part, you get to choose from
a XBOX live, PSN, or STEAM giftcard! NOTE: a giftcard for either Xbox live
or PSN is only valid in North America, as these are the only ones available to
Hank. STEAM giftcards work around the
world. So choose wisely.
Hank Bananas T-Shirt
Bananas required = **Currently out of stock**
Type in chat: !tshirt
Well Bronana, you’ve done it. You’ve become an ultimate Bronana and have
stayed with the channel for an extremely long time. Your name will be forever cemented into the
Bronana hall of fame. People will see
you walking the streets and whisper to each other of your greatness. Why? Because
you’re wearing a brand new Hank Bananas T-Shirt! For your time spent with the Bronanas, Hank
will gladly ship one of his current designed shirts around the world and
directly into your hands. Thank you for
enjoying the Bronana family so much and for your support. Moobot definitely loves you…and so does
Hank. NOTE: T-shirts will come in size large. If other sizes are available, then Hank will
ship your size.
DENOUEMENT
That’s it Bronana. You’ve read and absorbed your fill of
pertinent information today. Feel free
to now veg out on the couch and watch Hank’s stream without the necessity of
learning or processing another thought.
Thank you for reading. But before
you go, there’s one more very important thing that must be addressed. If you like the idea of the Bronana point
system and the games and the competitions, then send Zenoda all of your love by
saying thank you to him. For he is the
man behind the system. So please take a
moment to send him a tweet with a simple thank you or if you see him in chat,
tell him you love him.
MOD Commands
!bananas
This command allows a viewer to check their
current Bananas amount.
!bananas (add or remove) <user name> [point
amount]
This command above, allows you to add or remove
points during a stream. Use this for
competitions and the like.
!betstart
This command opens up the betting game.
!betclose
This command closes the betting game.
!betwin [point amount]
This command allows a viewer only during an
open bet to place a winning bet on Hank.
!betlose [point amount]
This command allows a viewer only during an
open bet to place a losing bet on Hank.
!betoutcomewin
This command tells the Bot the outcome of the
bet (Hank won) and adds or removes points to viewers.
!betoutcomelose
This command tells the Bot the outcome of the
bet (Hank lost) and adds or removes points to viewers.
