Fallout Shelter: The Perfect Appetizer to Fallout 4

An article by Glitchiee:

With editing and an introduction by Hank:

INTRODUCTION:

Placing your controller down, you reach over and grab the red marker.  With a little sorrow and a giant sense of accomplishment, you mark off the final undiscovered area on the humongous Fallout 3 map you have drawn on the bedroom wall.  After hundreds of hours and numerous sleepless nights, it's come down to this.  There isn’t one pixelated inch of Fallout 3 or New Vegas has not been pilfered.  Not one friendly NPC has been left alive in any town.  And there's not even a mutant walking the streets that hasn't already had a teddy bear fired at their head.  You've done it.  You've seen and experienced everything the Fallout series has to offer.  Well…now what?

Looking at the calendar you realize there's still months left before the release of Fallout 4.  What are you going to do?  You've already beaten Fallout one and two.  But before you hit enter button on "new game" and try to beat Fallout 3 without leveling up, there may still be one part of the Fallout universe you haven't discovered.  The only part of the Fallout universe that can go with you wherever and can be safely stored in your back pocket.  You smile knowing that you don't have to ignore your family anymore by hiding in a dank basement or a bedroom.  You can now ignore them right to their face during dinner or trips or any other excursion that doesn't come with a life-size Pip-boy.  It's as easy as pulling out your smart phone and using your fingertip.  So while you are putting away the controller and crying small radiated tears, your story doesn't have to end.  There's still plenty of radroaches to kill and citizens that need to die by experiencing radiation first hand.  What is the name of this bite-sized appetizer that will keep your attention and make suffering the next few months a little easier?  Fallout Shelter.  And here's the best part of the mobile game: it allows you to get a tiny taste of the Fallout universe…for not one extra cent.  That's right.  Just sit back and get ready to have the tips of your fingers worn down, because Fallout Shelter is out and it's completely free to play for everyone.

What Bob doesn't know is in about two minutes, he'll have his face, neck, chest, and ass mauled 

by a deathclaw. But it was for science, so it's okay. Good luck, Bob, and don't forget to pack a toothbrush.

Fallout Shelter is Bethesda's take on mobile gaming, set in the wildly amazing Fallout world.  So if you haven't tried Fallout Shelter yet, here's what you can expect from this mobile game.

VAULT LIVING:

The game takes place inside a vault: a safe location underground that is protected from radiation and other hazards of the wasteland.  You are the overseer of the vault and are tasked with taking care of its inhabitants, named dwellers.  From building new rooms to sending dwellers out to collect weapons and clothing, as the overseer, it's your job to keep every single vault dweller happy.  Does your vault need more inhabitants?  Well, you're in charge of the baby making room, so get some horny lovers in there and tell them to get to business.  Are radroaches eating someone's face?  Better get your shotgun-packing citizens to exterminate.  Did you add a new room and are having trouble keeping the lights on?  Well as the overseer it's your job to designate a new spot for power that way if all your people die…they can at least die looking at each other with the lights on.  So keeping your fingertips moving is the key to survival.

S.P.E.C.I.A.L:

But where do you put each dweller?  Well every inhabitant comes with a set of skills that make them an asset in the vault.  These skills are referred to as S.P.E.C.I.A.L: Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility and Luck.  And each skill corresponds to a certain room.  The higher the skill, the more effective that dweller is when producing resources.  And resources help you purchase more rooms and allow the vault to grow.  Also, these skills produce different results when inhabitants are sent out to the wasteland.  For instance, Luck allows a dweller to find more items in the wasteland, while endurance allows them to survive longer.  So knowing what each of your dwellers excels at helps make you a better overseer. 

The best way to handle being on fire is with a winning smile and positive attitude, because keeping

morale up is more important than your life.

CAPS:

Like all Fallout games, Caps are the currency of choice in Fallout Shelter.  They're used to build new rooms, upgrade existing facilities and revive fallen dwellers.  So having a nice pile of money in the bank is necessary to keeping the vault running smoothly.  But don't worry, because there are various ways to gain caps in Fallout Shelter.  The most reliable method is just letting the game run and leveling up your dwellers.  The higher level the dweller, the more caps you earn for their work in the vault.  A less reliable method, but a tad more rewarding is rushing rooms: basically a way to speed up the process of work with a chance of complete and utter failure.  But if successful, it will not only give you caps, but also resources too.  Another way to make money is to send your dwellers out into the treacherous wasteland.  This will take some time and can lead to your dweller dying, but if they're properly equipped, it can be one of the biggest sources of income in the game.  And the final way is to complete objectives.  Objectives can be anything from adding a certain room to increasing your dweller capacity.  And most objectives give you caps as rewards, but some can give you lunch boxes, which are filled with caps, items and even special dwellers.

DANGERS:

While it seems like running a vault is hard enough, there are dangers that can make it even more difficult.  If rushing a room fails, radroaches, fires and mole rats appear, attacking dwellers.  While this may look and seem completely hilarious, these dangers can make quick work of your dwellers, leaving you to find replacements.  These dangers can even appear in empty rooms as well and if not taken care of will spread throughout the vault.  And if you're really lucky, raiders and deathclaws will attack from the wasteland, breaking through the vault door and killing those in their path while stealing resources.  All the wonderful enemies you've come to love in Fallout are present here in Fallout Shelter for your enjoyment.

24 hours later, Timmy, learned an invaluable lesson: anything in the vault can be food. 

Good job, Timmy...you have leveled up.

CONCLUSION:

So with all the little pixelated bits of the Fallout universe in the palm of your hand, strap in for an addictive time surviving vault living.  Enjoy bringing dwellers together to keep your vault population alive and expanding.  Watch and laugh at repetitive attacks from deathclaws and hope that you have enough stimpacks and radaway to keep everyone ticking.  And the best part: Fallout Shelter is a game you can take in either small bites or sit there munching away on it for hours.  It's just what you needed to keep your appetite sated until Fallout 4 hits stores this November.  Good luck, overseer, because you're going to need it.

Writer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

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Bioshock: Eight Years Later and Still Going Strong

An article by Hank: Twitter / Twitch

A lot of gamers today that have never heard of Bioshock before will watch some gameplay and the first thing they say is, "This reminds me of that game," or "Oh…the way he shoots is just like this game."  What they don't realize is that it's the other way around.  Bioshock isn't like a lot of games today.  A lot of games today are like Bioshock.  It's Bioshock that is the inspiration.  From the story, the gameplay, the physics, to even the way the enemies react, today's developers are still trying to capture the magic that Bioshock brought to the gaming table way back when.  But why?  Why do developers and gamers still talk about a game that's close to a decade old?  It can't still hold any status in the gaming world.  Its ideas and design and story, by this time, have to be boring and outdated.  And there's where you'd be wrong.  Because everything about Bioshock still impacts the gaming world.  It's the type of game that's not only a classic and fun to play, but it's timeless.

"Listen, honey, I promise...right after I kill a few more people we'll go get ice cream. Okay?"

"No.  I want it now. Now. Now. Now. No--"

"Alright! Just please be quiet. *sign* It's times like this I wish I could just climb in a hole and disappear." 

STORY:

One does not just simply beat Bioshock and then walk away without ever thinking about it again.  Why?  Because of its story.  Not only does this first-person shooter come with fun gameplay mechanics, but it's based on an idea that asks many different questions.  If you're not aware, Bioshock's idea of creating a society that puts man and his creations in the highest regard without the intrusion of government or religion is based on an actual philosophy created by Ayn Rand.  A philosophy that basically states any man or woman should be allowed to pursue their own happiness and economic interests without regard to the society around them; that every man or woman has to first respect themselves before they can respect others.  (Recommended reading: Atlas Shrugged.  Easter Egg: Atlas also happens to be a character in Bioshock.)

Well, Bioshock takes that first idea (the pursuit of happiness and economic interests) to the extreme and lets the player run around in an environment where lunatics have taken over.  It all starts with one of the game's antagonists, Andrew Ryan, the creator of Rapture.  He was born a Russian immigrant (just like the real Ayn Rand) and has seen the destruction that socialism and communism can cause first hand.  After escaping to America, he falls in love with Capitalism and freedom and chases his economic dream.  Andrew Ryan, soon after, becomes one of the richest men in the USA.  But his once beloved free nation, America, begins to fall because slowly socialism and communism start to seep their way in.  So Andrew Ryan decides there is only one thing to do: create his own utopia (a reference from Atlas Shrugged) where everyone can be free from the grips of government and religion.  He creates Rapture: a secret city under the sea where the greatest minds from around the world are free to chase whatever dream they have.  But Bioshock asks the question: what really does happen when everyone is free to do what they want without regulations.  And it's at this point where your character enters the story: right after the downfall of the once beautiful idea of Rapture. 

So you want to talk about a story that'll be timeless?  You want to talk about a story that will spark several political conversations?  You want to talk about a story that will last even after it has ended?  Then you want to talk about Bioshock.  This is why no matter how old this video game gets…it'll still be an experience that people will remember.  Now having an idea and a story is one thing, but it takes much more to create a game that’s memorable and also—most importantly—fun.  So what about the other aspects of this pixelated adventure?

"Oh hey there, Sir, I was just wondering if you can point me in the direction of the hotel pool? I tried

to ask one of the maids crawling on the ceiling, but she just growled and kept on going."

GRAPHICS AND SOUND:

Not only does Bioshock still have some of the best voice acting in a video game—even in today's standards—but it's graphics still hold up.  If you fire up Bioshock today, after a whopping eight years, you'll still be amazed at the look and feel of the game.  From the water effects to the fire effects to the aesthetics found in every pixelated nook and cranny of Rapture, it'll still shock you how inventive and extremely well designed Bioshock is.  And if you're looking for a tiny bit of horror, wrapped up in suspense, then look no further.  Bioshock captured the very essence of spooky before all these other games began to flood the market.  And it's just not the look that does it.  It's the sound too.  From what the Splicers (the game's baddies) say while they're wondering the halls to the music to the perfectly placed silence in certain situations.  Bioshock easily still holds its own in both the graphic and sound department.  It even surpasses some games that are out today and that is saying something.

"Darling?"

"Yes, Honey?"

"Why don't you bring me flowers anymore?"

"Because everything died here a decade ago, Sweetheart...including us."

"You always have the best excuses, Darling."

"Why thank you, Honey. Now prepare to be dipped." 

PHYSICS AND GAMEPLAY:

Creating a game with a remarkable story and tremendous designs is one thing, but actually making it work for the player is something completely different.  Sure a concept artist can knock out beautiful renderings of a society that has been turned on its head, but now you have to allow the player to interact with this environment.  And Bioshock, again, excels at this task and even blows a ton of the competition from today's market right out of the water.  In game your character not only wields several different guns, but he also has abilities to manipulate fire, ice, and electric, not to mention telekinesis and the many other plasmids (think magic) that are available.  Each and every one of these different abilities has to be written in a code to work smoothly in game.  And each and every one is a wonder to behold.  You'll have a blast setting enemies on fire, while also electrocuting them, and then running up and smacking them with a wrench.  Or how about releasing bees to attack a baddie, and then freezing them in place, only to shoot and shatter them with a bullet.  You'll even be astounded at some of the Splicer's reactions to their dilemmas.  Injure a Splicer and watch them run to the nearest health station or even better…set one on fire and watch as they rapidly search for the nearest body of water to put out the flames.  Code like this isn't even present in the majority of games today, but it's all here in Bioshock.  So between the physics engine and the gameplay, the player can have a field day while running around in Rapture. 

"Are you lost little girl?"

"Nah, Mister, I'm just jamming this giant needle in this corpse's ass. You wanna help?"

CONCLUSION:

When Bioshock arrived in gamer's hands eight years ago, it certainly made an impression on the gaming community and developers alike.  It took the boundaries that were present back then in video games and exceeded every one, creating new possibilities for future games and inspiring new developers to do more with their ideas.  Bioshock captivated the video game industry with story, design, inventiveness, graphics, physics and sound.  It's the kind of game that every inspiring developer should try to emulate and gamer's everywhere should expect when picking up a new pixelated adventure.  If you've never played Bioshock, stop what you're doing right now and jump in…and if you have, but haven't thought about it in a while, now's the time to experience Rapture all over again.

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Alien Isolation: Beautifully Frustrating

An article by Hank: Twitter / Twitch

Ever since the 1979 film, the Alien franchise has had its ups and downs.  The original movie along with the sequel, Aliens, was the peak of the mountain.  Those films brought out the best of horror sci-fi that anyone has ever seen.  And if you think about it, what's better than the suspenseful feeling of being trapped in a giant tin can, while being chased by a monster?  So after years and years of more movies trying to capture that magic, the franchise slowly began to trickle into the gaming world.  But can the feeling of being desperate and alone with a creature breathing down your neck be replicated in a game for the ultimate experience?  In 2013, Gearbox Software attempted a first-person shooter with Alien: Colonial Marines and they were crucified for putting out what could be known as pixelated garbage.  Then, not more than a year later, Creative Assembly took their stab at the franchise with something different.  They took the idea of being alone and scared and hunted by a beast, and ran with it.  What better way to capture the 1979 film, then by pitting you against one single Alien Xenomorph as Amanda Ripley, Ellen Ripley's daughter, and having you run for your life?  But the real question is does running for your life and pushing buttons still remain fun after numerous hours?

"Okay, hold that right there and now...smile.  Excellent.  Alright, now let me see a bit more 

of those gorgeous thighs."

THE ATMOSPHERE:

If there's one thing that can be said about Creative Assembly's trek through the Alien universe it is this: they nailed the atmosphere perfectly.  If their job was to recreate the last scene of Ellen Ripley's haunting desperation as she scrambles to get on a space suit and get rid of the creature once and for all, then they knocked that feeling out of the park.  From the aesthetics of the spaceship to the silence while walking the lonely corridors, Alien: Isolation grabbed the very essence of the 1979 film and brought it to gamers everywhere.  There are even moments where you'll just stop and take in the gorgeous sights happening outside the space station's window.  It can be easily said that between the look and feel and sounds, Alien: Isolation is a home run in gaming history.  But right there is the problem.  The developer's job wasn't to recreate a five minute scene in movie history.  Their job wasn't to recreate just the look and feel of the 1979 Alien film.  Their job was to create a video game.  Something that above all else, needs to be fun at heart.  Sure a game can be somewhat scary and give you absolutely no weapons to defend yourself, but it needs to be fun too (ex: Outlast).  And sadly, this is where Alien: Isolation falls short.

"Hold on Mr. Android, Sir, I have to reload my gun." 

*35 minutes later*

"I can hear you sighing over there, ya know?  Why don't you go watch Making Mr. Right or

something?"

EXPLORATION AND OVER-STAYING YOUR WELCOME:

The beginning of Alien: Isolation sets up the story and allows your character to get a feel for movement and exploration.  In fact, that's what the game's main objective is…exploration.  The developers want you to wander around and take in each and every pixelated sight that they have created.  And as a gamer you're more than willing to do that for the first couple of hours.  You could even say that not seeing the Alien or interacting with anything frightening for the first hour can be enjoyable.  But then you'll start to wonder if there really are Aliens in this Alien game.  Thankfully, after pushing buttons and crawling through holes for a while, you finally experience the thrill of having the Alien drop down in front of you.  And having no weapon to defend yourself, that scene really does bring back the same feelings from the 1979 film.  Right then and there a video game not only nailed the feeling, look, and sound of a movie, but a video game heightened the experience by putting you in the shoes of a pixelated Ripley and letting you decide how the hell you're getting out of that situation.  But then soon after hiding under your first desk or in your first locker and waiting for the creature to leave for lunch, you'll start to feel fatigue.  Why?  Because the exploration aspect of pushing buttons and pulling levers and cranking generators and cutting locks and finding keys and hacking computers and hiding in lockers and crouching for hours and dying repeatedly because of impatience…never leaves.  The game doesn't change.  The exploration and wandering around is still there even after you see the Alien.  It's there even after you meet your first android.  It’s like you're getting ready to go out and someone hides your car keys.  That starts as a fun game of hot and cold, right?  You may even giggle a little.  But what if you don't find your keys, but a key to open a door that leads to another room where you have to push a bunch of random buttons only to learn that that opens yet another door leading to another search for another key and so on and so forth.  And to spice things up the person that hid your keys might even tell you at some point to wash their car and paint their house just to get another key that leads to more buttons.  This is the problem with Alien: Isolation's exploration.  It needs a change at some point.  Nobody finds pushing buttons for close to 20 hours fun.  And that's the real secret of creating a game that keeps its entertainment.  Fun.  And there's no fun in quick time events over that many hours.

 

"You need to go back to where you just were and get the locker key."

"But the key for the door we need is in your pocket right now?"

"I know that...but I'm not going anywhere without my porn collection.  So go get my locker key."

TheOrder: 1886 received a lot of grief for making the entire game a cutscene sprinkled with quick time events.  But at least at some point you were shooting things and blowing stuff up.  That's called variety, my joystick fondling friends…variety.  As bad as The Order was at least you had a bit of variety going through.  And…it even had one more thing going for it: it was brief.  It didn't stick around long enough to frustrate and bore you.  Only long enough to disappoint you.  But Alien: Isolation doesn't only stick around to frustrate you; it sticks around long enough to aggravate you too.  It's like having a friend you haven't seen in a while just pop up at your front door.  You let them in to be nice and even have a fun, laughable conversation.  But when you're ready to get some work done or maybe go to bed, they just plop themselves on your sofa and ask if you have any more beer.  After several hours that awesome friend you once had will become the world's biggest pain in the ass, and you'll do whatever you need to get rid of them as quickly as possible.  The same principle with Alien: Isolation.  By about the 10 hour mark, you'll be running around hitting buttons, pulling levers, and trying to bypass any exploration, just to get to the end…which seems to never come.

"You look confused, Ripley."

"I...I just don't get it.  When I get to the control room, you want me to go through the next door?"

"Yep."

"I don't have to push a button?"

"Nope."

"Pull a lever?"

"No"

"Hack a computer?"

"No.  Just--"

"Find a Med kit?"

"Dammit, Ripley.  Just open the next door."

"I don't understand." 

MAPS AND FEELING LOST:

Would it not be fun to pull out a four foot square map while driving, only to discover the person who gave you directions circled about half the map and said your destination is somewhere in there?  Doesn't that sound like fun?  Doesn't that sound like the best use of a map ever?  Sure it does…if you're an idiot.  And that's exactly how Alien: Isolation presents its map system.  There will be times when almost the entire map is circled with your objective.  Say what?  Why?  Because the game is still throwing "exploration" in your face.  But shouldn't the gamer decide whether or not he or she would like to explore?  Take Bloodborne for instance, most gamers do search every square pixelated inch of that game to obtain gems or shortcuts, but if you'd like, you could run past everything just to get to your objective.  Bloodborne is giving you the choice.  Nobody wants to be forced to do anything.  And that's where your patience with Alien: Isolation will start to fade.  By about the 10 hour mark you've already searched and hacked and pulled and pushed just about everything in the game and if Isolation gave you the choice to forgo all that repetition and just move forward, the ending wouldn't have felt as long as it did.  Choice is a very important aspect of a video game.  It's why gamers love the ability to play as good or as bad.  It's why Mass Effect holds a special place in many gamer’s hearts.

RETREADING AND OBJECTIVE PLACEMENT:

Have you ever grabbed everything you needed for a meal, headed into the living room, and then sat down in your nice comfortable sofa and realized you forgot a fork?  Or a napkin?  Or your drink?  It's the kind of feeling that makes you want to either eat with your hands, wipe your mouth on your sleeve or die of dehydration.  Because nobody wants to retread their steps back to the same area after you've already gotten to your nice comfortable objective.  Well if you're playing Alien: Isolation, you'd better get used to that.  There will be areas where the developers have you pin-balling all over the map and retracing your steps.  Most of the time this is done for two reasons: either they want the game to be harder or they want it to be longer.  And either reason is just bad developing.  Not to mention boring.  If you look at a game like the Last of Us, not only does it have a tremendous story that sticks with you well after you've completed it, but it's always moving you forward.  You never feel like the game is being cheap by making you retread through the same level over and over again.  And Naughty Dog could have done that anywhere.  Imagine any clicker level in the game…now imagine having to backtrack in those areas numerous times just to get to one objective.  That would be an instant story pacing kill, along with boring gameplay and a side of frustration.  Why does the Last of Us work so well gaming wise?  Because it continually moves the story and environment forward, making you want to find out what's coming next.  That's called rewarding the player for their hard work.  How does Alien: Isolation reward you?  By making you retread the same area again after you've just spent an hour attempting to get to the other side of the map.  This is just an attempt to make the game longer and more challenging.  But in the end, all it does is frustrate and bore the player.

Can't pick up the 4 guns dropped by the people you just murdered, but this one--the exact same gun

sitting half way across the level--is just waiting for you to fondle it.  Game Logic. 

FIXING THE PROBLEMS:

So you're probably wondering how to fix all of Alien: Isolation's pacing problems.  Easy.  Shorten the game and add more variety.  If Alien: Isolation pulled out all the retreading of the same areas and removed the numerous objectives just to get one key that only leads to another key…the game would have paced better and wouldn't have felt so cheap.  People would have finished it in less than 10 hours and would have praised it as the most fun they've had in a survival game.  Every new objective should have taken the player to a new area and should have been something different other than pull this lever, push this button, or hack this computer.  Imagine wandering into a new area each time you jumped on a transit car and having to deal with the Alien or androids in an environment you haven't seen before?  Wouldn't you rather have an outstanding six hour game, than have a game that ended up okay because it added a ton of fluff? 

"Oh God yes."

"Ripley?"

"Sorry...I just climaxed after finally hacking the computer we couldn't find for six hours.  It's over.  We did it."

"How can I say this without you choking me to death?  That computer only opens up the 

ability to hack another computer which will allow us to open a door, which might eventually lead 

to the computer we need.  Nailed it."

CONCLUSION:

Alien: Isolation did something that video games find hard to do.  It brought back the same feeling you had when you watched your favorite movie franchise.  The developers took the very essence of the Alien universe and brought it to life for every gamer to live.  It's just too bad they forgot about fun and entertaining gameplay that rewards the player for completing an objective.  Alien: Isolation is not a bad game.  In fact, as stated above, it does a lot right.  But it's still just a steppingstone to the perfect Alien video game.  Hopefully, the developers will take what they've learned here and apply it to the next game to create the greatest trek through the Alien universe gamers have ever seen.  So here's to hoping.

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Video Game Review: Guild of Dungeoneering

What Went Wrong When Building Guild of Dungeoneering

A Game Review by Glitchiee:

Guild of Dungeoneering is a rogue-like, dungeon adventure game that takes the concept of dungeon crawling and gives it a new twist.  Instead of wandering around a dungeon and trying to survive, you get to build the dungeon and try to survive.  This amazing take allows each attempt at a dungeon to be completely different.  And while that concept sounds like a winner, there are a slew of downfalls that ruin Guild of Dungeoneering's rise to gaming fame.

"Yes! I did it."

"Hey, Phil, I don't think you're supposed to die. Though I could be wrong."

"You're missing the big picture. 666 more deaths like that and I'll have just enough cash for 

the final tier of expansion."

"Oh...sounds like fun. I'm going to go watch some paint dry now." 

THE GOOD STUFF:

To start off, there is a good amount of redeeming qualities that Guild of Dungeoneering possesses.  One of them is the story.  After being turned down by the Ivory Guild, you decide to get back at them by creating your own.  So you decide to self-appoint yourself as the leader of the Guild of Dungeoneering.  This is where you start to see the humor in the game, if it didn't already hit you while listening to the opening song.  Basically you are the butt of every joke, including those in your family.  Using your “brains,” you put up posters calling for Dungeoneers: adventurers looking for fortune and fame to do your dirty work.  On top of this, humor is also further riddled throughout the game in the narrator's dialogue, the snippets that the Dungeoneers exclaim, and the adventure descriptions that draw from popular culture.

You'll also get a taste for the art style by this point, which somewhat resembles an artist's sketchbook.  The game features cartoon styled sketches of items, characters, enemies, and anything else found in game on colored cards.  While moving throughout each dungeon, the dungeoneer looks like they're on a piece of paper.  And the background is even stylized in the pattern of graph paper.  It's a very simplistic aesthetic, but eye catching nonetheless.  And it helps keep that fun/humorous dimension to the game.

GRINDING:

While it may seem like such a creative game is of top notch quality, the buck falls short when you actually start to play.  Dungeoneers do not keep levels gained in a dungeon when it's complete.  So that means no matter what your characters will always start at level one.  While this may not seem like a big deal, it still leads to a large amount of grinding in the dungeons to be able to even complete the objective.  In addition to that, Dungeoneers start with no items, except for whatever “Blessing” is chosen at the beginning of the adventure…that's if you even have one available.  And Blessings do not last for the entire dungeon either, making later fights harder or earlier fights less valuable.  What does all this mean?  Well, that it's highly possible you will die to the first monster you come across.

GOLD:

On top of everything is the amount of gold that needs to be invested into your guild.  The starting amount of 50 gold may not seem like a lot, and neither is the next level of expansions at 500 gold, but then it jumps to 2000 gold for the final tier of expansions.  And even that may not seem like an extremely large amount of cash.  Until you see how much gold you actually accumulate if your Dungeoneer dies, which will occur very, very frequently.  Unless you complete the objective of a dungeon, you will only get whatever was collected during your travels, which can range from 3 gold to 20 gold.

"Oh hey, Tom, I'm glad you walked by. Help me choose my loot. It's either an ugly stick, the puffy

shirt, or an eyeball on a string."

"Um...how are those finance reports coming along for the meeting we have in 10 minutes?"

"I'm just using last year's numbers for that. This is way more important. Now help me choose."

"Well in that case...I'd go with the Puffy shirt."

"Seinfeld fan, right?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah...me too. Puffy shirt it is. Cya in the meeting."

DUNGEONS:

The gold, or lack of it, could be easily remedied if you could go back to previously completed dungeons and play through them again for some extra cash.  Alas, this is also not possible.  All dungeons are roped off, never again to be visited unless you start a new game.  So you have to send innocent, money hungry, Dungeoneer after Dungeoneer into the jaws of death, over and over again until you actually beat that dungeon you are stuck on…or you accumulate enough gold to purchase something new.

Movement in the dungeons is a bit confusing as well.  When placing monsters, gold, and fountains in a dungeon, their amounts will stack.  The highest amount in a certain spot is where the Dungeoneer will move to.  Have no monster cards to bring your person away from an approaching adversary?  Too bad, your Dungeoneer will rush into the jaws of death.  Now, this could be easily avoided, but instead, luck plays a major role in this part of the game.

LUCK:

As with all games, there is some matter of luck involved.  But Guild of Dungeoneering takes this to a whole new level.  From the cards you are given to build the dungeons, to the items you can receive at the end of a fight, to even the cards drawn in the fight itself, luck is highly prevalent in the game.  This is combated to some extent by upgrading your guild, but as said above, when you get stuck in an area and have no gold to speak of; your lack of options comes to the fore.  Since Dungeoneers start with no items whatsoever, extra abilities that could give you the edge in battle have to be fought for.  You can even get all the items you need and then die to a small monster on your way to the big boss by not drawing into the right ability.

Dungeon design is the victim of luck as well.  When it comes to certain levels where you have to run away from your opponent, being able to build an escape route is essential.  Sometimes you will have no pieces that you can actually use.  And sometimes there will be no monsters when you really needed to feed one to a hungry dragon.  This is extremely discouraging as the building aspect of the game is what sets it apart from other games in the same genre.

HOPE:

There is always hope that a game will get better.  That the next patch will introduce more balanced content, game changes, or something that will help players enjoy the experience.  Additions including battle animations, more achievements, and different music scores are already in the works.  But these don't correct the main game play experience however and creators have stated they intend to keep this as is to maintain its difficult, rouge-like nature.  Possibly in the future things will be included that create a faster way to obtain gold, like the ability to retain items from adventures which would greatly reduce the grinding aspect of Guild of Dungeoneering.

"Dammit, that bothers me."

"What? Your extremely large graveyard full of fails?"

"No...that one frigging grave of rocks."

"Um...your OCD is showing."

CONCLUSION:

Guild of Dungeoneering is a creative game with a fun, entertaining, humor-filled story line.  But its grinding nature really diminishes the highlights of the game.  And when you cannot progress any farther, money is extremely hard to come by, and your Dungeoneers die repeatedly, rage begins to set in.  So if you like grindy games that need hours to just advance the story, open new areas, or purchase upgrades, then this is the game for you.  Otherwise steer clear of Guild of Dungeoneering, or you'll want to rip your hair out.

2.5 out of 5 Stars (minus stars for grinding mechanics, no replay of previous dungeons, lack of gold acquisition and too much luck required) 

Reviewer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

Video Game Review - Batman: Arkham Knight

A Game Review by Hank:

Two kinds of gamers play Batman: one that just loves the character and wants to experience a Batman story first-hand…and another that wants to become the ultimate Dark Knight and 100% the game and challenges.  While the former gamer should be content with the Arkham Knight story, the latter gamer might find the video game lacking in several areas.  But one thing is for certain, as of this moment, this is Rocksteady Studios’ last hurrah in the Batman universe and they didn't hold back in terms of size or story.

"When I asked you to surprise Barbara on her birthday, leaving the Joker bound and gagged 

in her closet was not what I had in mind."

"Sorry, Jim, but that was the only thing I had on hand that could be wrapped in such short notice." 

STORY:

All is well in the city of Gotham until the Scarecrow decides he wants to unleash a humongous bomb filled with his latest batch of fear toxin on the entire city.  This brings about mass hysteria as every last citizen attempts to depart the city, leaving behind only the GCPD, every villain, and Bats.  What follows is the Batman trying to clean up every square inch of Gotham in one very long night.

If you're looking to play Batman: Arkham Knight for the story, then you're in good hands.  Rocksteady didn't pull any punches throughout.  You'll get twists, excitement, drama, tie-ins to comic book stories, action, and if you like the Joker…a truck load of humor.  Without all the side quests and mini games and riddles thrown about the gigantic Gotham, the main story will take around 12 hours to complete.  And it picks up after the events of Arkham City, so if you haven't finished that game, it's highly recommended you do so before diving into this one.  The main protagonist in Batman: Arkham Knight is the Scarecrow, but there's also another main villain thrown in for kicks, and that's the Arkham Knight.  The Knight is like Batman in a lot of ways, except he doesn't care about taking a life.  You may think the reveal of the character is the highlight of game, but the sad thing is it's a letdown when you finally do find out who it is.  And that's a shame.  But the build-up until that point is excellent, so just try to enjoy the ride before it ends. 

Now if you're wondering if that hurts the story, don't worry, there are still plenty of thrills and twists to be had while pounding baddies into the ground.  And the one thing Arkham Knight can be commended for is the balance of emotion.  You'll be sad one moment and the next be laughing like a hyena.  So be prepared to be tossed all over the place.  And the story is much darker than the previous titles because it dives into the mind of Batman.  His loves.  His fears.  And everything in between.  So even if you're not looking to 100% the game, you'll still get your money's worth in just the story alone. 

"When I say take it back, you take it back."

"Ow. Ow. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry for calling you Nightwing."

"I'm mean how hard is it to distinguish us? He doesn't have bat ears. I have the bat ears. Sheesh."

VOICE OVER AND DIALOGUE:

The Rocksteady Batman titles wouldn't be as great as they are without all the fantastic villains that show up to bother the Dark Knight.  But those villains wouldn't be half as much fun if it wasn't for the talent behind the voices.  Obviously, reclaiming the throne as the Batman is the unbelievable Kevin Conroy.  If you don't know who that is…shame on you.  (Take a week and watch Batman: The Animated Series and you'll understand.)  Is his dialogue perfect throughout?  No.  There are a lot of cheesy lines in the story.  But that doesn't mean his voice acting is terrible.  He's one of the best Batmen out there.  So sit back and enjoy the greatness.  On top of that, the most famous Jedi, Mark Hamill, returns to lend his voice to the Joker once more.  If there's anyone that steals the show, it's him.  He is the highlight throughout the story and when he doesn't show up you'll actually miss his ridiculousness.  And the Joker has one of the biggest moments of the game where his vocals come into play and it is glorious.  Besides the two big names, the rest of the voice acting is excellent also.  John Noble as the sinister Scarecrow and Tara Strong as the hilarious Harley Quinn both give standout performances in their respected roles.  While the rest of cast, Troy Baker included, help support the magnificence happening everywhere else.

GRAPHICS AND DESIGN:

There is no doubt about it, Arkham Knight, is one slick looking game.  From the city streets to the sewers to the interior of buildings, Rocksteady knows the Batman universe and has represented it stupendously.  And with the humongous size of Gotham, you'd think there'd be some loading screens as you traveled around the city from one island to the next.  Nope.  Driving couldn't be smoother, while gliding through the air and taking in the beautiful sights is more fun than it should be.  And character designs are unbelievable looking.  Batman's suit, once again, is one of the best looking designs for the character you'll ever see.  The sexy women of the DC universe are gorgeous and when it comes down to creepy, the design of the Scarecrow is frigging horrendously perfect.  No one has been able to capture DC like Rocksteady's design department and just the aesthetics alone are enough to make you want to play the game.

UPGRADES GALORE:

Upgrades to Wayne Technology have returned in a big way.  If you liked upgrading the Batman in the previous titles than you'll love Arkham Knight, because there's so much to upgrade in this game you might actually get lost in the menus.  You can upgrade the suit, combat, the way the car handles tank mode, the way the car handles driving, the grappling hook, or even the ability to use gadgets as you fly into your enemies.  Are all the upgrades necessary?  No.  The main story can be beaten without worrying too much about upgrades, but if you want 100% completion and the true ending, then upgrades should be selected cautiously.  At times it can feel overwhelming with every menu available, but an overdose of upgrades is better than no upgrades at all.  So if you’re looking to build your ultimate Dark Knight, then fear not, all the customizing is at your fingertips.

"Batman, hold my hand."

"Seriously, Dick?  I thought you outgrew that?" 

"I bet you still hold Robin's hand when he asks."

"Still playing favorites? This is why I broke up with you."

"What? I broke up with--"

"Enough! Give me your hand."

GAMEPLAY AND COMBAT:

Everything you remember from Arkham City, the tremendous group fights, brain-hurting Riddler puzzles, grappling hooks, gadgets, stealth takedowns, and even detective mode...is brought back in Arkham Knight, with some parts even grander than you remember.  The button configurations are balanced and the Dark Knight reacts to your movements smoothly 99% of the time.  Occasionally you will have Bats accidentally fall off a wall or get trapped behind a trash can, but it’s a huge game and silliness from time to time will happen.  But no Batman game would be complete without hordes of foes to slap around.  This time you’ll have the ogre types which require stomach pounding, medics that’ll revive fallen baddies, ninjas that’ll cut you up and even grunts with shock sticks.  Each new foe helps ramp up the combat and make it required that you actually pay attention to what you're doing when facing thirty men at the same time.  If not, it is lights out for Bats and you’ll be starting all over again.  Now, are there parts where Bats will occasionally punch the wrong guy, wiping your multiplier?  Yep.  Is it frustrating?  Yep.  Is it enough to make you quit the game?  No.  In fact, with a little patience and probably a couple of do-overs, you'll move through the main story without throwing the controller or pulling out all your hair.   

Adding to the fun of kicking everyone's ass are duel combat sequences.  Bats will team up with Robin, Nightwing, or Catwoman to bring down waves of enemies.  The sequences aren't a major part of the game, but they do help freshen up the combat and make it a tad gentler on your multiplier.  You can even switch effortlessly between the two characters during these battles which allows you to get a feel for different fighting styles.

The only thing that might be a downer for some is the disappearance of boss battles in the game.  Sure you’ll kind of face off against the Arkham Knight, but nothing compares to the one on one boss battles of Arkham City and Asylum.  Does this hurt the narrative?  No.  Because most of the face-offs are done in cut scenes and the story will just play out.  So if you're one of the gamers that loved boss battles from the previous titles, then you might be heavily disappointed.  But that’s alright, because filling that gap is Gotham's most wanted: a series of side missions for your Batjoyment.

"Ivy, I just want you to know that--"

"You've always loved me, Batman?"

"--I analyzed that rash you have on 70% of your body. 9/10 dermatologists recommend 

Calamine lotion and some type of steroid."

SIDE MISSIONS & CHALLENGE MAPS:

It’s true…Batman: Arkham Knight is riddled with side missions.  They are everywhere. You get to choose from taking down the Riddler by driving along his many Batmobile courses or solving his brain-crushing riddles, to stopping bank robberies, fighting the Man-Bat, blowing up the Penguin's money, saving firefighters, bomb disposal, to even finding a serial killer and more.  So there are numerous activities in Gotham that will keep any gamer busy.  And to get the true ending of game (the one after the main story is over) you have to 100% it.  This could take a very long time considering how much help you receive along the way.  On the plus side these missions are fun and go along with the narrative of the story being told.  The downside is they can't be played through in one whole arc.  Instead, you're teased with a side mission and then you’ll have to wait until you complete more of the main mission to finish it.  But the real question is…why?  Why, in 2015 are gamers still subject to parts of a map that aren't accessible?  Within Gotham, you basically can't go everywhere with the Batmobile until unlocking all the bridges.  And the only way to do that is by playing the main story.  So what happens is you get excited about a side mission, but then get literally road blocked from continuing it.  You might even go onto the main story and forget all about that side mission you obtained an hour ago.  This is the only part of the game that ruins pacing.  If a gamer decides he wants to play through a side mission before going on to anything else, why doesn’t he have that choice?  Why does he have to play the main story to unlock certain areas?  Aren’t we in a time of gaming where you should be able to tell your own Dark Knight story and weave your own path?  Oh well…at least there are plenty of side missions to be had, even if you have to wait till the end to do them.

If it feels like the game is weighted down by side missions, then it’ll feel lightened in the challenge map department.  There are only a few different maps among the challenges and after a while they become slightly repetitive.  It seems the meat of the content was sunk into side missions.  Does this hurt Arkham Knight?  Only if challenge maps were a big part of the Batman games for you.  If you respond more toward the story, then this shouldn’t bother you in the least.  If you’re looking for more content once the main story and side missions are over, then you’ll probably take to the internet for some raging with fellow challenge map lovers.

THE BATMOBILE:

In almost every mission of the game the Batmobile is needed.  Now, the inclusion of the vehicle is unbelievably awesome.  Spinning donuts or ramming into brick walls and watching them crumble is fantastic.  But having the need for the car in basically the entire story might be a sore spot for gamers that loved the previous Rocksteady titles.  If you're not familiar with the gameplay, the Batmobile can turn into a tank like vehicle and blow the crap out of air and ground drones throughout the game.  It's also used to access inaccessible areas of Gotham by using a wench and maneuvering the vehicle over obstacles.  In other words, the car becomes the other playable character in Arkham Knight.  And that wouldn't be so bad if you had a choice to use it or not.  But the problem lies in being forced to use it throughout the game.  It's needed almost everywhere.  So if you like the Batmobile, then you'll love this game.  If you see it somewhat as a nuisance…then you might have a humongous problem with Arkham Knight.  Either way, you're stuck with it throughout and have to make the best of it.  So in between chasing down foes and blowing up drones, take the time to enjoy the car by smashing into everything you can and spinning a few donuts in the GCPD’s parking lot for laughs.

"Fellow officers, there's only one man that could make this suicide run and bring back what we need."

"Oracle, send me the location of the closest Dunkin Donuts." 

CONCLUSION:

Batman: Arkham Knight is a fantastic end to a great Batman run by Rocksteady.  They brought graphics, increased the gameplay, upgraded the map, added a vehicle, and even kept the proper voice talent throughout.  With only a few minor gripes on side missions, challenge maps, and the continuous use of the Batmobile, Arkham Knight still brings the goods in terms of story and overall twists and turns.  This puts Batman: Arkham Knight easily in the running for P&P’s 2015 game of the year.  So if you enjoyed the previous Rocksteady outings of Batman, then don’t think twice about picking this up. 

4 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for stunted side missions, a forced Batmobile, and the Arkham Knight reveal)

Writer & Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch