Dark Souls vs. Bloodborne: Where Should You Start?

An article by Hank: Twitter / Twitch

Everyone has games that they can boot up and just relax and whack away at blocks or build a house or even create a simulation of themselves, but every now and again, a gamer might need a little more gratification when it’s all said and done.  A little more hair pulling right before you go to bed or to work or on vacation.  Sometimes a gamer needs a game that will not only kick them in the virtual nuts, but also help destroy a few controllers in the process.  Because let's face it…who doesn't like a challenge?  Or a feeling of unbelievable accomplishment when you defeat a game that kicked your teeth in so many times?  And if you're looking for hardcore gaming action with a side of nausea and aggravation, then look no further than From Software.  From Software are the creators of the Souls series and the newest idea of hardcore addicting action: Bloodborne.  And no other series of games will make you want to punch through a wall, but then feel the greatest sense of relief once a boss is dead like these wonderful titles.  But the problem is so many gamers hear those names and see From Software and instantly get turned off.  They'll exclaim out loud, "Those games are way too hard!" or "I want to relax when I play, not get more stressed out."  And while those statements are completely true.  No other games will allow you to boast more than the From Software games, because of their high difficulty.  No other games will make you feel like a true gamer once you've beaten them like the From Software games.  So if you're looking to add a little pain, but also a feeling of ecstasy once it's all over, then go ahead and pick yourself up one of their titles.  But you may be thinking, "Well, where should I start?"  And that, my joystick fondling junkies, is exactly what we're here to figure out.

NOTE: P&P understands that the Souls Series started with Demon’s Souls, but since Dark Souls is on a wider variety of platforms and has a bigger community, it’ll be discussed instead.  Bloodborne is being compared because it's the newest From game and it's also available on the bestselling system of this generation.  So it's more likely to be accessible to gamers.  Thank you for your concern, but this is just an opinion article and not a From Software thesis, so relax and praise the sun or…welcome home, good Hunter.

"Yeah, my man! You're getting it. You're getting it.  Now just keep moving your legs side to side with

the beat and the ladies will just be throwing themselves at you."

SIMILARITIES:

Even though Dark Souls and Bloodborne look like completely different games, they are made by the same developers and have many similarities.  If you enjoy walking around with a humongous sword and crushing enemy heads with it, then these games will fulfill that love.  Both games have bosses that need vanquishing in each level before you can move on.  Both titles will make you pull your hair out when you accidentally blinked and had your ass crushed by an opponent.  And most importantly, both games will allow you to roll into barrels, which becomes an addiction early on that you can't stop doing no matter how many hours you've sunk into each game.  But with Bloodborne having an upgrade in the graphics department, revamping the combat, and removing your shield along with upgrades to a lot of accessories…that's where the similarities stop.  So picking between the two will all depend on how many RPG elements you want in your action title.

UPGRADES AND MORE UPGRADES:

Both Bloodborne and Dark Souls have upgradable items.  But Dark Souls takes that to the RPG extreme.  If you're the type of gamer that enjoys having to repair your equipment (shields, swords, armor, etc.) then Dark Souls might be more your speed.  If you're just looking to—every once in a while—repair your weapon, then Bloodborne is your game.  Bloodborne also removed the necessity of having to repair your armor.  In fact, you could happily get through Bloodborne wearing just one set of armor (clothing really) and not have to worry too much about what it does.  The armor system is greatly streamlined.  From Software also removed the humongous amount of different weapons that can be found in Dark Souls.  So if you're not looking to collect a whole bunch of different swords and halberds and axes and staffs, then Bloodborne might be more your speed.  Because it seems, From Software, wanted to streamline every element from their Souls Series and just focus on letting a player carry a big sword and swing it at enemies' faces.  In fact, to cement this point, Bloodborne actually reduced the use and worth of magic so much, that barely any player uses it in Bloodborne, unless they are trying to make the game harder than it already is.

"I know we've had our ups and downs. But you know it has to come down to this. Just remember,

what I'm about to do is done out of love. I'll never forget you."

*rolls into barrel and falls off edge* 

THE WEIGHT OF ARMOR:

In Dark Souls you have a choice of many different armor sets.  In Bloodborne…not so much.  There are several different sets of armor that you can mix and match to make your character look as gentle or as horrific as you want, but in reality, armor sets in Bloodborne aren't that much different from each other.  Sure some have slightly higher points in poison, thrust or frenzy defense, but nothing to really distinguish the sets apart except for their looks.  Is this a problem?  No.  If you're not looking to worry too much about what the armor does or how much is weighs, than Bloodborne is right up your alley.  The humongous difference in Dark Souls is not only does the armor look different, but its weight comes at a cost.  In Bloodborne it doesn't matter what you're wearing, your character will still move at the same speed, but in Dark Souls, heavy armor becomes a gigantic disability.  If your character's endurance isn't very high and you equip heavy armor you'll have what is known as the "fat roll."  The slowest, most awkward looking movement and roll known to pixelated man.  So not only do you have to worry about getting hit in Dark Souls or if your armor and weapon are upgraded enough, you'll also have to worry about whether or not you can move fast enough.  This armor system can be a huge turn-off to some gamers, while others will thrive on being able to tweak every aspect of their character.

"You know, up until a few years ago, I used to sleep with a teddy bear named Edwin the Third. Bet

you didn't see that coming?"

"Nope."

"I really feel like we're bonding here."

"Nope." 

COMBAT:

In Bloodborne the main thing you're worried about near any type of enemy is rolling the hell out of the way, because your character does not get a shield like in Dark Souls.  Instead, you get some type of gun which you can fire at the right time to stagger your opponent and then light them up with your sword.  But that's okay because your character is fast enough to dodge roll away from an attack and then strike behind an opponent.  Well…not in Dark Souls.  Even with the lightest armor you barely have the time to get back up and strike the enemy.  It really all comes down to the armor you're wearing, your endurance, the weight of your weapon, and what type of enemy.  In Bloodborne none of that really matters because all weapons come in a super quick form and you'll always move the same speed no matter what the hell you’re wearing.  The other good thing about the parry system (firing your gun) in Bloodborne is it can be done far enough away from the enemy, so that if you miss they might not hit you.  In Dark Souls if you miss the parry (swinging your shield) you're too close to avoid getting massively hurt, which leaves almost no room for error.  The other major difference in combat is the age of Dark Souls.  This game has been around for a while, so movement and striking isn't as smooth as it can be.  Bloodborne on the other hand is built for the new generation, it's fast and smooth and very responsive.  On top of this, Bloodborne is more of an aggressive combat system.  It rewards you with pushing forward.  If an enemy hits you, the last thing you want to do is back away.  You want to strike them back and push forward, because you will acquire some of your health back.  In Dark Souls this is not the case.  If you're hit the best thing you can do is get the hell out of there, build your stamina back up, and then slowly creep back in.  So if you're looking for a combat system that is a little more forgiving, then Bloodborne should be your first attempt at a From Software title, because every hit you take in Dark Souls is considered a mistake and will probably get you killed.

"Now listen, if you two do not stop arguing, I will turn this quest around and take everyone 

home. Do you hear me?"

CONCLUSION:

If you've never played a From Software game and are looking to give yourself a real challenge, then both of these titles are a great place to start.  If you're looking to not worry about too many RPG elements and the weight of your swords and armor, and all you want to do is run around and whack things with a humongous sword, then Bloodborne is your best option.  It'll teach you the mechanics of a From Software game, without having to worry about all the extra stuff.  But that doesn't mean that it's any easier in the gameplay department.  It just means it's a little less complicated to understand.  But if you want more swords, shields, armor, magic and dragons in your life, and want to manage your attire much more closely, then start with Dark Souls.  Either way you're bound to have the same reaction once a boss is defeated: a general feeling of relief mixed with elation and accomplishment.  And if you're like most gamers, you'll probably start with Bloodborne and then have the compulsion to tackle its grandfather, Dark Souls, anyway.  So if you've been itching to push your gaming skills to the next level, then look no further than From Software.  Now go forth and Praise the Sun, good Hunter.

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Fallout Shelter: The Perfect Appetizer to Fallout 4

An article by Glitchiee:

With editing and an introduction by Hank:

INTRODUCTION:

Placing your controller down, you reach over and grab the red marker.  With a little sorrow and a giant sense of accomplishment, you mark off the final undiscovered area on the humongous Fallout 3 map you have drawn on the bedroom wall.  After hundreds of hours and numerous sleepless nights, it's come down to this.  There isn’t one pixelated inch of Fallout 3 or New Vegas has not been pilfered.  Not one friendly NPC has been left alive in any town.  And there's not even a mutant walking the streets that hasn't already had a teddy bear fired at their head.  You've done it.  You've seen and experienced everything the Fallout series has to offer.  Well…now what?

Looking at the calendar you realize there's still months left before the release of Fallout 4.  What are you going to do?  You've already beaten Fallout one and two.  But before you hit enter button on "new game" and try to beat Fallout 3 without leveling up, there may still be one part of the Fallout universe you haven't discovered.  The only part of the Fallout universe that can go with you wherever and can be safely stored in your back pocket.  You smile knowing that you don't have to ignore your family anymore by hiding in a dank basement or a bedroom.  You can now ignore them right to their face during dinner or trips or any other excursion that doesn't come with a life-size Pip-boy.  It's as easy as pulling out your smart phone and using your fingertip.  So while you are putting away the controller and crying small radiated tears, your story doesn't have to end.  There's still plenty of radroaches to kill and citizens that need to die by experiencing radiation first hand.  What is the name of this bite-sized appetizer that will keep your attention and make suffering the next few months a little easier?  Fallout Shelter.  And here's the best part of the mobile game: it allows you to get a tiny taste of the Fallout universe…for not one extra cent.  That's right.  Just sit back and get ready to have the tips of your fingers worn down, because Fallout Shelter is out and it's completely free to play for everyone.

What Bob doesn't know is in about two minutes, he'll have his face, neck, chest, and ass mauled 

by a deathclaw. But it was for science, so it's okay. Good luck, Bob, and don't forget to pack a toothbrush.

Fallout Shelter is Bethesda's take on mobile gaming, set in the wildly amazing Fallout world.  So if you haven't tried Fallout Shelter yet, here's what you can expect from this mobile game.

VAULT LIVING:

The game takes place inside a vault: a safe location underground that is protected from radiation and other hazards of the wasteland.  You are the overseer of the vault and are tasked with taking care of its inhabitants, named dwellers.  From building new rooms to sending dwellers out to collect weapons and clothing, as the overseer, it's your job to keep every single vault dweller happy.  Does your vault need more inhabitants?  Well, you're in charge of the baby making room, so get some horny lovers in there and tell them to get to business.  Are radroaches eating someone's face?  Better get your shotgun-packing citizens to exterminate.  Did you add a new room and are having trouble keeping the lights on?  Well as the overseer it's your job to designate a new spot for power that way if all your people die…they can at least die looking at each other with the lights on.  So keeping your fingertips moving is the key to survival.

S.P.E.C.I.A.L:

But where do you put each dweller?  Well every inhabitant comes with a set of skills that make them an asset in the vault.  These skills are referred to as S.P.E.C.I.A.L: Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility and Luck.  And each skill corresponds to a certain room.  The higher the skill, the more effective that dweller is when producing resources.  And resources help you purchase more rooms and allow the vault to grow.  Also, these skills produce different results when inhabitants are sent out to the wasteland.  For instance, Luck allows a dweller to find more items in the wasteland, while endurance allows them to survive longer.  So knowing what each of your dwellers excels at helps make you a better overseer. 

The best way to handle being on fire is with a winning smile and positive attitude, because keeping

morale up is more important than your life.

CAPS:

Like all Fallout games, Caps are the currency of choice in Fallout Shelter.  They're used to build new rooms, upgrade existing facilities and revive fallen dwellers.  So having a nice pile of money in the bank is necessary to keeping the vault running smoothly.  But don't worry, because there are various ways to gain caps in Fallout Shelter.  The most reliable method is just letting the game run and leveling up your dwellers.  The higher level the dweller, the more caps you earn for their work in the vault.  A less reliable method, but a tad more rewarding is rushing rooms: basically a way to speed up the process of work with a chance of complete and utter failure.  But if successful, it will not only give you caps, but also resources too.  Another way to make money is to send your dwellers out into the treacherous wasteland.  This will take some time and can lead to your dweller dying, but if they're properly equipped, it can be one of the biggest sources of income in the game.  And the final way is to complete objectives.  Objectives can be anything from adding a certain room to increasing your dweller capacity.  And most objectives give you caps as rewards, but some can give you lunch boxes, which are filled with caps, items and even special dwellers.

DANGERS:

While it seems like running a vault is hard enough, there are dangers that can make it even more difficult.  If rushing a room fails, radroaches, fires and mole rats appear, attacking dwellers.  While this may look and seem completely hilarious, these dangers can make quick work of your dwellers, leaving you to find replacements.  These dangers can even appear in empty rooms as well and if not taken care of will spread throughout the vault.  And if you're really lucky, raiders and deathclaws will attack from the wasteland, breaking through the vault door and killing those in their path while stealing resources.  All the wonderful enemies you've come to love in Fallout are present here in Fallout Shelter for your enjoyment.

24 hours later, Timmy, learned an invaluable lesson: anything in the vault can be food. 

Good job, Timmy...you have leveled up.

CONCLUSION:

So with all the little pixelated bits of the Fallout universe in the palm of your hand, strap in for an addictive time surviving vault living.  Enjoy bringing dwellers together to keep your vault population alive and expanding.  Watch and laugh at repetitive attacks from deathclaws and hope that you have enough stimpacks and radaway to keep everyone ticking.  And the best part: Fallout Shelter is a game you can take in either small bites or sit there munching away on it for hours.  It's just what you needed to keep your appetite sated until Fallout 4 hits stores this November.  Good luck, overseer, because you're going to need it.

Writer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

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Bioshock: Eight Years Later and Still Going Strong

An article by Hank: Twitter / Twitch

A lot of gamers today that have never heard of Bioshock before will watch some gameplay and the first thing they say is, "This reminds me of that game," or "Oh…the way he shoots is just like this game."  What they don't realize is that it's the other way around.  Bioshock isn't like a lot of games today.  A lot of games today are like Bioshock.  It's Bioshock that is the inspiration.  From the story, the gameplay, the physics, to even the way the enemies react, today's developers are still trying to capture the magic that Bioshock brought to the gaming table way back when.  But why?  Why do developers and gamers still talk about a game that's close to a decade old?  It can't still hold any status in the gaming world.  Its ideas and design and story, by this time, have to be boring and outdated.  And there's where you'd be wrong.  Because everything about Bioshock still impacts the gaming world.  It's the type of game that's not only a classic and fun to play, but it's timeless.

"Listen, honey, I promise...right after I kill a few more people we'll go get ice cream. Okay?"

"No.  I want it now. Now. Now. Now. No--"

"Alright! Just please be quiet. *sign* It's times like this I wish I could just climb in a hole and disappear." 

STORY:

One does not just simply beat Bioshock and then walk away without ever thinking about it again.  Why?  Because of its story.  Not only does this first-person shooter come with fun gameplay mechanics, but it's based on an idea that asks many different questions.  If you're not aware, Bioshock's idea of creating a society that puts man and his creations in the highest regard without the intrusion of government or religion is based on an actual philosophy created by Ayn Rand.  A philosophy that basically states any man or woman should be allowed to pursue their own happiness and economic interests without regard to the society around them; that every man or woman has to first respect themselves before they can respect others.  (Recommended reading: Atlas Shrugged.  Easter Egg: Atlas also happens to be a character in Bioshock.)

Well, Bioshock takes that first idea (the pursuit of happiness and economic interests) to the extreme and lets the player run around in an environment where lunatics have taken over.  It all starts with one of the game's antagonists, Andrew Ryan, the creator of Rapture.  He was born a Russian immigrant (just like the real Ayn Rand) and has seen the destruction that socialism and communism can cause first hand.  After escaping to America, he falls in love with Capitalism and freedom and chases his economic dream.  Andrew Ryan, soon after, becomes one of the richest men in the USA.  But his once beloved free nation, America, begins to fall because slowly socialism and communism start to seep their way in.  So Andrew Ryan decides there is only one thing to do: create his own utopia (a reference from Atlas Shrugged) where everyone can be free from the grips of government and religion.  He creates Rapture: a secret city under the sea where the greatest minds from around the world are free to chase whatever dream they have.  But Bioshock asks the question: what really does happen when everyone is free to do what they want without regulations.  And it's at this point where your character enters the story: right after the downfall of the once beautiful idea of Rapture. 

So you want to talk about a story that'll be timeless?  You want to talk about a story that will spark several political conversations?  You want to talk about a story that will last even after it has ended?  Then you want to talk about Bioshock.  This is why no matter how old this video game gets…it'll still be an experience that people will remember.  Now having an idea and a story is one thing, but it takes much more to create a game that’s memorable and also—most importantly—fun.  So what about the other aspects of this pixelated adventure?

"Oh hey there, Sir, I was just wondering if you can point me in the direction of the hotel pool? I tried

to ask one of the maids crawling on the ceiling, but she just growled and kept on going."

GRAPHICS AND SOUND:

Not only does Bioshock still have some of the best voice acting in a video game—even in today's standards—but it's graphics still hold up.  If you fire up Bioshock today, after a whopping eight years, you'll still be amazed at the look and feel of the game.  From the water effects to the fire effects to the aesthetics found in every pixelated nook and cranny of Rapture, it'll still shock you how inventive and extremely well designed Bioshock is.  And if you're looking for a tiny bit of horror, wrapped up in suspense, then look no further.  Bioshock captured the very essence of spooky before all these other games began to flood the market.  And it's just not the look that does it.  It's the sound too.  From what the Splicers (the game's baddies) say while they're wondering the halls to the music to the perfectly placed silence in certain situations.  Bioshock easily still holds its own in both the graphic and sound department.  It even surpasses some games that are out today and that is saying something.

"Darling?"

"Yes, Honey?"

"Why don't you bring me flowers anymore?"

"Because everything died here a decade ago, Sweetheart...including us."

"You always have the best excuses, Darling."

"Why thank you, Honey. Now prepare to be dipped." 

PHYSICS AND GAMEPLAY:

Creating a game with a remarkable story and tremendous designs is one thing, but actually making it work for the player is something completely different.  Sure a concept artist can knock out beautiful renderings of a society that has been turned on its head, but now you have to allow the player to interact with this environment.  And Bioshock, again, excels at this task and even blows a ton of the competition from today's market right out of the water.  In game your character not only wields several different guns, but he also has abilities to manipulate fire, ice, and electric, not to mention telekinesis and the many other plasmids (think magic) that are available.  Each and every one of these different abilities has to be written in a code to work smoothly in game.  And each and every one is a wonder to behold.  You'll have a blast setting enemies on fire, while also electrocuting them, and then running up and smacking them with a wrench.  Or how about releasing bees to attack a baddie, and then freezing them in place, only to shoot and shatter them with a bullet.  You'll even be astounded at some of the Splicer's reactions to their dilemmas.  Injure a Splicer and watch them run to the nearest health station or even better…set one on fire and watch as they rapidly search for the nearest body of water to put out the flames.  Code like this isn't even present in the majority of games today, but it's all here in Bioshock.  So between the physics engine and the gameplay, the player can have a field day while running around in Rapture. 

"Are you lost little girl?"

"Nah, Mister, I'm just jamming this giant needle in this corpse's ass. You wanna help?"

CONCLUSION:

When Bioshock arrived in gamer's hands eight years ago, it certainly made an impression on the gaming community and developers alike.  It took the boundaries that were present back then in video games and exceeded every one, creating new possibilities for future games and inspiring new developers to do more with their ideas.  Bioshock captivated the video game industry with story, design, inventiveness, graphics, physics and sound.  It's the kind of game that every inspiring developer should try to emulate and gamer's everywhere should expect when picking up a new pixelated adventure.  If you've never played Bioshock, stop what you're doing right now and jump in…and if you have, but haven't thought about it in a while, now's the time to experience Rapture all over again.

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Alien Isolation: Beautifully Frustrating

An article by Hank: Twitter / Twitch

Ever since the 1979 film, the Alien franchise has had its ups and downs.  The original movie along with the sequel, Aliens, was the peak of the mountain.  Those films brought out the best of horror sci-fi that anyone has ever seen.  And if you think about it, what's better than the suspenseful feeling of being trapped in a giant tin can, while being chased by a monster?  So after years and years of more movies trying to capture that magic, the franchise slowly began to trickle into the gaming world.  But can the feeling of being desperate and alone with a creature breathing down your neck be replicated in a game for the ultimate experience?  In 2013, Gearbox Software attempted a first-person shooter with Alien: Colonial Marines and they were crucified for putting out what could be known as pixelated garbage.  Then, not more than a year later, Creative Assembly took their stab at the franchise with something different.  They took the idea of being alone and scared and hunted by a beast, and ran with it.  What better way to capture the 1979 film, then by pitting you against one single Alien Xenomorph as Amanda Ripley, Ellen Ripley's daughter, and having you run for your life?  But the real question is does running for your life and pushing buttons still remain fun after numerous hours?

"Okay, hold that right there and now...smile.  Excellent.  Alright, now let me see a bit more 

of those gorgeous thighs."

THE ATMOSPHERE:

If there's one thing that can be said about Creative Assembly's trek through the Alien universe it is this: they nailed the atmosphere perfectly.  If their job was to recreate the last scene of Ellen Ripley's haunting desperation as she scrambles to get on a space suit and get rid of the creature once and for all, then they knocked that feeling out of the park.  From the aesthetics of the spaceship to the silence while walking the lonely corridors, Alien: Isolation grabbed the very essence of the 1979 film and brought it to gamers everywhere.  There are even moments where you'll just stop and take in the gorgeous sights happening outside the space station's window.  It can be easily said that between the look and feel and sounds, Alien: Isolation is a home run in gaming history.  But right there is the problem.  The developer's job wasn't to recreate a five minute scene in movie history.  Their job wasn't to recreate just the look and feel of the 1979 Alien film.  Their job was to create a video game.  Something that above all else, needs to be fun at heart.  Sure a game can be somewhat scary and give you absolutely no weapons to defend yourself, but it needs to be fun too (ex: Outlast).  And sadly, this is where Alien: Isolation falls short.

"Hold on Mr. Android, Sir, I have to reload my gun." 

*35 minutes later*

"I can hear you sighing over there, ya know?  Why don't you go watch Making Mr. Right or

something?"

EXPLORATION AND OVER-STAYING YOUR WELCOME:

The beginning of Alien: Isolation sets up the story and allows your character to get a feel for movement and exploration.  In fact, that's what the game's main objective is…exploration.  The developers want you to wander around and take in each and every pixelated sight that they have created.  And as a gamer you're more than willing to do that for the first couple of hours.  You could even say that not seeing the Alien or interacting with anything frightening for the first hour can be enjoyable.  But then you'll start to wonder if there really are Aliens in this Alien game.  Thankfully, after pushing buttons and crawling through holes for a while, you finally experience the thrill of having the Alien drop down in front of you.  And having no weapon to defend yourself, that scene really does bring back the same feelings from the 1979 film.  Right then and there a video game not only nailed the feeling, look, and sound of a movie, but a video game heightened the experience by putting you in the shoes of a pixelated Ripley and letting you decide how the hell you're getting out of that situation.  But then soon after hiding under your first desk or in your first locker and waiting for the creature to leave for lunch, you'll start to feel fatigue.  Why?  Because the exploration aspect of pushing buttons and pulling levers and cranking generators and cutting locks and finding keys and hacking computers and hiding in lockers and crouching for hours and dying repeatedly because of impatience…never leaves.  The game doesn't change.  The exploration and wandering around is still there even after you see the Alien.  It's there even after you meet your first android.  It’s like you're getting ready to go out and someone hides your car keys.  That starts as a fun game of hot and cold, right?  You may even giggle a little.  But what if you don't find your keys, but a key to open a door that leads to another room where you have to push a bunch of random buttons only to learn that that opens yet another door leading to another search for another key and so on and so forth.  And to spice things up the person that hid your keys might even tell you at some point to wash their car and paint their house just to get another key that leads to more buttons.  This is the problem with Alien: Isolation's exploration.  It needs a change at some point.  Nobody finds pushing buttons for close to 20 hours fun.  And that's the real secret of creating a game that keeps its entertainment.  Fun.  And there's no fun in quick time events over that many hours.

 

"You need to go back to where you just were and get the locker key."

"But the key for the door we need is in your pocket right now?"

"I know that...but I'm not going anywhere without my porn collection.  So go get my locker key."

TheOrder: 1886 received a lot of grief for making the entire game a cutscene sprinkled with quick time events.  But at least at some point you were shooting things and blowing stuff up.  That's called variety, my joystick fondling friends…variety.  As bad as The Order was at least you had a bit of variety going through.  And…it even had one more thing going for it: it was brief.  It didn't stick around long enough to frustrate and bore you.  Only long enough to disappoint you.  But Alien: Isolation doesn't only stick around to frustrate you; it sticks around long enough to aggravate you too.  It's like having a friend you haven't seen in a while just pop up at your front door.  You let them in to be nice and even have a fun, laughable conversation.  But when you're ready to get some work done or maybe go to bed, they just plop themselves on your sofa and ask if you have any more beer.  After several hours that awesome friend you once had will become the world's biggest pain in the ass, and you'll do whatever you need to get rid of them as quickly as possible.  The same principle with Alien: Isolation.  By about the 10 hour mark, you'll be running around hitting buttons, pulling levers, and trying to bypass any exploration, just to get to the end…which seems to never come.

"You look confused, Ripley."

"I...I just don't get it.  When I get to the control room, you want me to go through the next door?"

"Yep."

"I don't have to push a button?"

"Nope."

"Pull a lever?"

"No"

"Hack a computer?"

"No.  Just--"

"Find a Med kit?"

"Dammit, Ripley.  Just open the next door."

"I don't understand." 

MAPS AND FEELING LOST:

Would it not be fun to pull out a four foot square map while driving, only to discover the person who gave you directions circled about half the map and said your destination is somewhere in there?  Doesn't that sound like fun?  Doesn't that sound like the best use of a map ever?  Sure it does…if you're an idiot.  And that's exactly how Alien: Isolation presents its map system.  There will be times when almost the entire map is circled with your objective.  Say what?  Why?  Because the game is still throwing "exploration" in your face.  But shouldn't the gamer decide whether or not he or she would like to explore?  Take Bloodborne for instance, most gamers do search every square pixelated inch of that game to obtain gems or shortcuts, but if you'd like, you could run past everything just to get to your objective.  Bloodborne is giving you the choice.  Nobody wants to be forced to do anything.  And that's where your patience with Alien: Isolation will start to fade.  By about the 10 hour mark you've already searched and hacked and pulled and pushed just about everything in the game and if Isolation gave you the choice to forgo all that repetition and just move forward, the ending wouldn't have felt as long as it did.  Choice is a very important aspect of a video game.  It's why gamers love the ability to play as good or as bad.  It's why Mass Effect holds a special place in many gamer’s hearts.

RETREADING AND OBJECTIVE PLACEMENT:

Have you ever grabbed everything you needed for a meal, headed into the living room, and then sat down in your nice comfortable sofa and realized you forgot a fork?  Or a napkin?  Or your drink?  It's the kind of feeling that makes you want to either eat with your hands, wipe your mouth on your sleeve or die of dehydration.  Because nobody wants to retread their steps back to the same area after you've already gotten to your nice comfortable objective.  Well if you're playing Alien: Isolation, you'd better get used to that.  There will be areas where the developers have you pin-balling all over the map and retracing your steps.  Most of the time this is done for two reasons: either they want the game to be harder or they want it to be longer.  And either reason is just bad developing.  Not to mention boring.  If you look at a game like the Last of Us, not only does it have a tremendous story that sticks with you well after you've completed it, but it's always moving you forward.  You never feel like the game is being cheap by making you retread through the same level over and over again.  And Naughty Dog could have done that anywhere.  Imagine any clicker level in the game…now imagine having to backtrack in those areas numerous times just to get to one objective.  That would be an instant story pacing kill, along with boring gameplay and a side of frustration.  Why does the Last of Us work so well gaming wise?  Because it continually moves the story and environment forward, making you want to find out what's coming next.  That's called rewarding the player for their hard work.  How does Alien: Isolation reward you?  By making you retread the same area again after you've just spent an hour attempting to get to the other side of the map.  This is just an attempt to make the game longer and more challenging.  But in the end, all it does is frustrate and bore the player.

Can't pick up the 4 guns dropped by the people you just murdered, but this one--the exact same gun

sitting half way across the level--is just waiting for you to fondle it.  Game Logic. 

FIXING THE PROBLEMS:

So you're probably wondering how to fix all of Alien: Isolation's pacing problems.  Easy.  Shorten the game and add more variety.  If Alien: Isolation pulled out all the retreading of the same areas and removed the numerous objectives just to get one key that only leads to another key…the game would have paced better and wouldn't have felt so cheap.  People would have finished it in less than 10 hours and would have praised it as the most fun they've had in a survival game.  Every new objective should have taken the player to a new area and should have been something different other than pull this lever, push this button, or hack this computer.  Imagine wandering into a new area each time you jumped on a transit car and having to deal with the Alien or androids in an environment you haven't seen before?  Wouldn't you rather have an outstanding six hour game, than have a game that ended up okay because it added a ton of fluff? 

"Oh God yes."

"Ripley?"

"Sorry...I just climaxed after finally hacking the computer we couldn't find for six hours.  It's over.  We did it."

"How can I say this without you choking me to death?  That computer only opens up the 

ability to hack another computer which will allow us to open a door, which might eventually lead 

to the computer we need.  Nailed it."

CONCLUSION:

Alien: Isolation did something that video games find hard to do.  It brought back the same feeling you had when you watched your favorite movie franchise.  The developers took the very essence of the Alien universe and brought it to life for every gamer to live.  It's just too bad they forgot about fun and entertaining gameplay that rewards the player for completing an objective.  Alien: Isolation is not a bad game.  In fact, as stated above, it does a lot right.  But it's still just a steppingstone to the perfect Alien video game.  Hopefully, the developers will take what they've learned here and apply it to the next game to create the greatest trek through the Alien universe gamers have ever seen.  So here's to hoping.

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Video Game Review: Guild of Dungeoneering

What Went Wrong When Building Guild of Dungeoneering

A Game Review by Glitchiee:

Guild of Dungeoneering is a rogue-like, dungeon adventure game that takes the concept of dungeon crawling and gives it a new twist.  Instead of wandering around a dungeon and trying to survive, you get to build the dungeon and try to survive.  This amazing take allows each attempt at a dungeon to be completely different.  And while that concept sounds like a winner, there are a slew of downfalls that ruin Guild of Dungeoneering's rise to gaming fame.

"Yes! I did it."

"Hey, Phil, I don't think you're supposed to die. Though I could be wrong."

"You're missing the big picture. 666 more deaths like that and I'll have just enough cash for 

the final tier of expansion."

"Oh...sounds like fun. I'm going to go watch some paint dry now." 

THE GOOD STUFF:

To start off, there is a good amount of redeeming qualities that Guild of Dungeoneering possesses.  One of them is the story.  After being turned down by the Ivory Guild, you decide to get back at them by creating your own.  So you decide to self-appoint yourself as the leader of the Guild of Dungeoneering.  This is where you start to see the humor in the game, if it didn't already hit you while listening to the opening song.  Basically you are the butt of every joke, including those in your family.  Using your “brains,” you put up posters calling for Dungeoneers: adventurers looking for fortune and fame to do your dirty work.  On top of this, humor is also further riddled throughout the game in the narrator's dialogue, the snippets that the Dungeoneers exclaim, and the adventure descriptions that draw from popular culture.

You'll also get a taste for the art style by this point, which somewhat resembles an artist's sketchbook.  The game features cartoon styled sketches of items, characters, enemies, and anything else found in game on colored cards.  While moving throughout each dungeon, the dungeoneer looks like they're on a piece of paper.  And the background is even stylized in the pattern of graph paper.  It's a very simplistic aesthetic, but eye catching nonetheless.  And it helps keep that fun/humorous dimension to the game.

GRINDING:

While it may seem like such a creative game is of top notch quality, the buck falls short when you actually start to play.  Dungeoneers do not keep levels gained in a dungeon when it's complete.  So that means no matter what your characters will always start at level one.  While this may not seem like a big deal, it still leads to a large amount of grinding in the dungeons to be able to even complete the objective.  In addition to that, Dungeoneers start with no items, except for whatever “Blessing” is chosen at the beginning of the adventure…that's if you even have one available.  And Blessings do not last for the entire dungeon either, making later fights harder or earlier fights less valuable.  What does all this mean?  Well, that it's highly possible you will die to the first monster you come across.

GOLD:

On top of everything is the amount of gold that needs to be invested into your guild.  The starting amount of 50 gold may not seem like a lot, and neither is the next level of expansions at 500 gold, but then it jumps to 2000 gold for the final tier of expansions.  And even that may not seem like an extremely large amount of cash.  Until you see how much gold you actually accumulate if your Dungeoneer dies, which will occur very, very frequently.  Unless you complete the objective of a dungeon, you will only get whatever was collected during your travels, which can range from 3 gold to 20 gold.

"Oh hey, Tom, I'm glad you walked by. Help me choose my loot. It's either an ugly stick, the puffy

shirt, or an eyeball on a string."

"Um...how are those finance reports coming along for the meeting we have in 10 minutes?"

"I'm just using last year's numbers for that. This is way more important. Now help me choose."

"Well in that case...I'd go with the Puffy shirt."

"Seinfeld fan, right?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah...me too. Puffy shirt it is. Cya in the meeting."

DUNGEONS:

The gold, or lack of it, could be easily remedied if you could go back to previously completed dungeons and play through them again for some extra cash.  Alas, this is also not possible.  All dungeons are roped off, never again to be visited unless you start a new game.  So you have to send innocent, money hungry, Dungeoneer after Dungeoneer into the jaws of death, over and over again until you actually beat that dungeon you are stuck on…or you accumulate enough gold to purchase something new.

Movement in the dungeons is a bit confusing as well.  When placing monsters, gold, and fountains in a dungeon, their amounts will stack.  The highest amount in a certain spot is where the Dungeoneer will move to.  Have no monster cards to bring your person away from an approaching adversary?  Too bad, your Dungeoneer will rush into the jaws of death.  Now, this could be easily avoided, but instead, luck plays a major role in this part of the game.

LUCK:

As with all games, there is some matter of luck involved.  But Guild of Dungeoneering takes this to a whole new level.  From the cards you are given to build the dungeons, to the items you can receive at the end of a fight, to even the cards drawn in the fight itself, luck is highly prevalent in the game.  This is combated to some extent by upgrading your guild, but as said above, when you get stuck in an area and have no gold to speak of; your lack of options comes to the fore.  Since Dungeoneers start with no items whatsoever, extra abilities that could give you the edge in battle have to be fought for.  You can even get all the items you need and then die to a small monster on your way to the big boss by not drawing into the right ability.

Dungeon design is the victim of luck as well.  When it comes to certain levels where you have to run away from your opponent, being able to build an escape route is essential.  Sometimes you will have no pieces that you can actually use.  And sometimes there will be no monsters when you really needed to feed one to a hungry dragon.  This is extremely discouraging as the building aspect of the game is what sets it apart from other games in the same genre.

HOPE:

There is always hope that a game will get better.  That the next patch will introduce more balanced content, game changes, or something that will help players enjoy the experience.  Additions including battle animations, more achievements, and different music scores are already in the works.  But these don't correct the main game play experience however and creators have stated they intend to keep this as is to maintain its difficult, rouge-like nature.  Possibly in the future things will be included that create a faster way to obtain gold, like the ability to retain items from adventures which would greatly reduce the grinding aspect of Guild of Dungeoneering.

"Dammit, that bothers me."

"What? Your extremely large graveyard full of fails?"

"No...that one frigging grave of rocks."

"Um...your OCD is showing."

CONCLUSION:

Guild of Dungeoneering is a creative game with a fun, entertaining, humor-filled story line.  But its grinding nature really diminishes the highlights of the game.  And when you cannot progress any farther, money is extremely hard to come by, and your Dungeoneers die repeatedly, rage begins to set in.  So if you like grindy games that need hours to just advance the story, open new areas, or purchase upgrades, then this is the game for you.  Otherwise steer clear of Guild of Dungeoneering, or you'll want to rip your hair out.

2.5 out of 5 Stars (minus stars for grinding mechanics, no replay of previous dungeons, lack of gold acquisition and too much luck required) 

Reviewer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch