Movie Review - Kick Ass 2

Kick Ass 2 is as childish and wrong, as a forty year old man dressed in a diaper, rolling around in the ball-pit at McDonald's.  But…it's also bloody, campy, ridiculous, somewhat funny, and absolutely nowhere near as good as the original.  One would think with added villains like a female Russian bodybuilder who resembles a tree trunk in motion, the movie would top its predecessor, but sadly it stumbles too far out of the gate to gain back any momentum in the end.

The original idea of Kick Ass was enough to make the new franchise money, but then it incorporated something many films, books, and stories, frown upon: a foul mouth tween bludgeoning people to death.  Yes, the Kick Ass franchise can thank Chloe Moretz (Hit Girl) for all the money it has made to date.

"I said, my dog ate the homework. You calling me a liar?"

STORY:

Kick Ass (Aaron Johnson) is back with his pubescent whiny voice, silly glasses, and terrible hair.  But this time around he actually wants to learn how to fight, so he enlists the help from the only person he knows: Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz).  She agrees to train Kick Ass, but secretly, all she really wants, is to be a high school princess.  Also adding to the fun, the Red Mist (Chris Plasse) decides his life is way too boring—apparently living in a gigantic mansion and having so much money he can wipe his ass with hundreds isn't good enough—and decides to put together a villainous team to hunt down Kick Ass and exact revenge.  Random boring conversations, crappy Jim Carrey make-up, and an uninspiring plot ensue.

"What is it?"

"Probably a rushed script, with no idea how to evolve the characters from the first movie."

THOUGHTS:

You probably saw all the bad reviews and thought: "Those people just hate these types of movies and I'll still go and see it, because it's probably not as bad as they say."  Well, save your cash.  The beginning subplots are so slow and unoriginal, that when the action finally does pick up, the film is too far gone to gain any credibility.  In fact, the whole first half of the movie is just a rehashing of old ideas from better teen movies.  It isn't until a somewhat major character is removed from the story that the film actually becomes ruthless and entertaining like the original.

Johnson's whole "I want to save people" attitude from the first film is replaced by a whiny tulip, who seems to be scared of his own shadow.  He ends up spending most of his time wandering around trying to make friends, while also attempting to convince Hit Girl not to be a princess and stay in the superhero occupation.  Johnson could have really played up the drama and emotion from unfolding events, but instead, he ends up just collecting a paycheck.

"Fine. You win. I'll cut my hair...but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

Chloe Moretz, yet again, remains the draw of the film, as her acting and dialogue is some of the best the movie has to offer.  She was so fantastic in the first film, that they should have called it Hit Girl instead of Kick Ass.  But there's a little problem with her in this film: the writer took away everything that makes her awesome for the first hour or so.  She just spends her time trying to survive paper-thin stereotypical bitch-girls in high school.  You've already seen this subplot written better, dozens of times before and nothing quite fresh happens until its climax.  Once the plot allows her to cut loose the I-don't-want-to-hurt-anybody attitude, Hit Girl finally becomes Hit Girl.  But sitting through the opening slop scenes is enough to make you punch babies.  And everyone knows you don't punch babies unless provoked.

"Argh! Not for nothing, but I've seen better acting from this suit."

The assembling Avengers this film is not.  The team uniting in the beginning is so clownish you'll feel embarrassed for the actors.  The costumes are terrible.  The general acting is bad and when they're just sitting around talking about their problems, you'll be wondering what's on TV later.  Night Bitch saves some of the cringes due to better acting and a better backstory than most, but still doesn't bring the whole team idea out of the gutter.  What was shown in the first hour could have been a montage lasting only a few minutes.  Then the action and the deaths could have had more weight and seriousness to carry the floundering plot.  A major character even loses a family member and you won't care, because two seconds later you're swept away in a gun fight, leaving the impact that should have been there, in the rear view mirror.

Quick! Someone just shoot it.

Then there's the MF'er.  The Red Mist trades in his crime fighting costume to become the world's first super villain.  But here’s the problem: the character doesn't know whether he's supposed to be funny, scary, or grotesque.  And it shows throughout every scene.  The costume is terrible, the name is there just for shock value (even the other characters in the film laugh every time they hear it) and Chris Plasse's acting is below par.  Too bad, because he's McLovin' and that sounds like a sexy hamburger.

"You call me McLovin' one more time..."

WHO'LL LIKE IT & WHO'LL HATE IT:

If you’re looking for over-the-top campiness, bad acting, and a terrible Jim Carrey, then this is perfect for you.  The violent silliness might even help you score it as "Eh, I guess I liked it."    If you find bondage costumes or skin tight spandex hilarious, or watching a telephone-pole sized Russian kill everyone, then get yourself a ticket.  If originality is your thing, and you're looking for a little more actual story, then you might want to avoid this like the vibrating row in an adult theater.

Nothing heals a crappy plot, like a dance number.

CONCLUSION:

You'd never think it was possible, but this film needed more Nic Cage.  And that's saying something.  What was once energetic, fresh, action-packed, and brutal, has been pulverized into a childish mess.  It's a shame really, because the world of Kick Ass has so much potential to deviate from movie and comic book clichés.  But whatever the first film brought to the genre, the second film killed instantly.

2 out of 5 stars (minus a star for bad acting, slow beginning, and no Nic Cage)