If you're a gamer than you probably noticed
Assassin's Creed: Unity has been in the news a lot since its release. Did it get super-duper awesome scores? Nope.
Does it have unbelievable gameplay that took the series on a whole new
path for future additions? Nope. AC: Unity has actually been in the news
because of its awesome invisible cart racing and Arno's incredible ability to
hang from thin air. He also has the
unique talent to stealth walk fifty feet above bridges to cross rivers and
sometimes loses his face but not his eyeballs.
These hilarious glitches are more on the humor side than game-breaking
side and that's a relief. But we're not
here to talk about why AC: Unity has been getting a ton of press. We're here to talk about loading screens. And one thing no one mentioned are the new
loading screens in Unity.
Tim Burton is rumored to be using the above picture as inspiration for Beetlejuice 2: A Love Story.
Before the game released, Ubisoft announced
there'd be no loading screens once in Paris.
And that statement can be seen as true…but just like a legal document, it has several holes, making it resemble a wonderfully crafted piece of Swiss
cheese. Yes, once you load AC: Unity and
you're running around Paris in 1791, there aren't any loading screens, but you
better never fall from a high roof without your hay net, or get stabbed or
shot, or decide to fast travel or even start a new mission. Why?
Because…loading screens. They're
not as long when going from killing to cut scene, but fast travel and dying are
another matter altogether.
Now you're probably thinking, "Well, that's okay because Assassin's Creed
games have at least a unique loading screen that allows you to run around in an
Animus fog for a bit." And
you'd be right, just not in the new Unity.
Apparently some hot shot in the technical department had the bright idea
to do away with those old loading screens for something much more elegant. So instead you get this:
A wonderfully crafted black screen with a tiny
spinning emblem in the top right. And if
you're really lucky—if your loading is taking an astonishingly long time—you
could get the thin white bar at the bottom of the screen too. Both—the emblem and white bar—at the same
time are just a graphic overload of pixelated greatness. And these lovely loading screens can go on
long enough to cause the player to pass out from boredom. But the real fortunate gamers are the ones
that attempt to complete a mission and continue to die over and over again,
only to be rewarded with a long ass loading screen every single time. So the simple question is—and keep in mind it’s
2014 and computer processors have advanced tremendously since the 70's—what the
hell happened? Why do gamers still have
to sit in front of a black screen and pick their noses for long periods of
time?
THE DON'Ts:
Hasn't technology and game creation come far
enough to keep us away from the blank loading screen? It seems as though Ubisoft is trying to pull
a fast one by at least removing the words "loading" from the actual screen. Well, Ubisoft, gamers are much more
perceptive than you think. We know a
loading screen when we see one and we can—oh look…a cat playing the piano. Damn, now where was I? Oh yeah, the worst thing a developer can do
is be lazy enough to give you a blank screen.
Hell, even attempting to cover it up with say an elevator ride like Mass
Effect would have been better. Or having
a useless upgradable spaceship fly through clouds like in Destiny would have at
least kept the gamer from falling asleep (maybe). In this day and age, the last thing a
"now" culture needs is nothing to see or do. Each moment spent staring into the abyss is a
moment that could have been spent beating some pixelated NPC over the head with
a brick. And it's on the next-gen (current generation to be honest)
consoles. If you're a developer reading
this, then please understand there's a ton of things you can do to make this
experience a smidgen better.
THE DOs:
People not only remember Bayonetta because she
was a smoking hot piece of pixelated flesh that ripped her clothes off before
each battle, but gamers also remember her because of her loading screens. The high-heeled chick with nerd glasses had
so many moves, that the developer let you practice them during each loading
screen, making the loading time fly by.
Rayman's Origins and Legends gave you a silhouetted background to run
around in, creating a loading screen that became practically non-existent. And sympathizing with the player, The Devil
May Cry 3, gave you the "loading" text, but allowed you to shoot and
slash the crap out of it. What a simple
solution to a terribly boring problem.
Hell, the even simpler solution is loading a picture—any picture, even a
random pic of someone's food is better than blackness. Gamers love concept art. And getting a
glimpse into what sparked a level design is always a nice way to transition
within a game.
THE FIX:
So how could Unity have fixed the long blank
loading screen without having to revert back to the past Assassin's
Creeds? Easy. They could have built upon the game's
strengths. AC: Unity is based during an
actual historic event...just like all their past games. So why not show some random French Revolution
facts while the gamer waits? Why not
attempt to teach players what exactly went on during that turbulent time in
Paris? What easier way is there to
remove the blank screen then with a piece of art and some text underneath? So game-developers, when you're considering
and/or building your next game, please keep in mind: a simple picture with some
text will go a long way to keep gamers from getting narcolepsy while they wait
for their pixelated adventure to load.
This article has been bought and paid for by
The Gamers Association of America. (Disclaimer: The Gamers Association of
America doesn't really exist. Have a
nice day.)
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