Sunday, November 11, 2012

DVD Movie Review - Total Recall (2012)


Sometimes I’m in the mood for an action romp with not a minutes rest until all the bad guys are dead.  Sometimes I like a sci-fi film just for its visuals, and sometimes, every once in a while, when the moon is just right and the stars align, you get a good sci-fi action romp, dropped right in your lap and if you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss it and never be able to recover it again.
 
What am I talking about?  I really have no idea, but Total Recall would be awesome action Sci-fi flick, if it wasn’t a remake.  No really, I’m serious.  If the premise of the story wasn’t already beaten into our heads, this movie would be a can’t-miss sci-fi film.  It has all the ingredients: fantastic sets, outlandish action sequences, crazy robots, future gadgets, and two—that’s right, two—beautiful leading ladies.  What else do you need?  Oh, that’s right…an original story—damn it, I knew you couldn’t have it all.
 
The Story:
You already know it.  Regular Joe Blow goes into a future mind-altering company because his normal life—the day to day crap—is just too darn boring, and he wants to spice things up.  Well, just as they’re hooking him to the machine to fry his brain, all hell breaks loose and we (the viewer) don’t know if it’s real, or not.  Sound familiar?  The only thing missing is a bad Austrian accent.
 
What’s different?
Well, like I said above: the story/plot is the same, other than that you have a stand-alone sci-fi film.  The settings are different, you’re missing crazy stomach creatures, but have gained robot officers; Mars is gone and everything takes place on a devastated Earth, where only two areas remain habitable: Britain (really?) and Australia (understandable).  And there isn’t a muscle-bound Mr. Universe running around killing people, there’s just Colin Farrell.
 
My Thoughts:
This is going to be totally bias because I have a background in art (illustration, concept, you name it), so a Sci-fi film like this, just had me in awe.  Let me explain.
 
The concept art and Art direction in general, is some of the best I’ve ever seen.  The unbelievable city called the Colony, where our protagonist lives, is wonderfully constructed.  Since living space has become a real big problem, the city has expanded up, over and even out.  There’s the up-side-down apartments, houses built on other houses, floating duplexes—this is exactly what I picture when I think: spatial requirements are in need of fixing.
 
But there’s more: the industrial design aspect (future products and such) is top of the charts.  You have cell phones that are built into your hands and when placed on a piece of glass, they show a video of who you’re talking too.  Steering wheels are not limited to one side of your car; they can be shifted to either side, depending on who wants to drive (excellent action sequence with this).  The elevators are not limited to up and down, they now go side to side, up/down…really whatever’s needed. (This reminds me of the parking garages in Europe that manage to squeeze five pounds of car into a one pound bag) 
 
The visuals have been heavily influenced by Minority Report (awesome car chases) and of course, the father of Sci-fi films: Blade Runner.  The dirty/rainy streets, packed with all kinds of wacky individuals; Asian influences mixed with western ideals; crazy building structures and cross bridges; and of course, three boobed hookers.  (Yes the three boob women from the original film has her moment to shine here)
 
Science almost makes its way into the film, too.  The only way to get from Britain to Australia now, is riding something the film calls “The Fall”.  Say what?  I don’t know, but this awesome Disney ride look-a-like takes you from one end of the planet to the other, and when you pass Earth’s core, there’s weightlessness, which is a nice touch to the effects, and lends itself to a great action sequence later in the film.  My only question is: how do the people riding always end up, right-side up if you’re traveling straight through to the other side of the planet?  Oh, now don’t try to place logic, where logic doesn’t belong.  This leads me to other stuff that didn’t make any sense.
 
Questionable Sci-fi antics and goofy scenes:

1.      Throughout the film, there are these white officer droids chasing everyone down, and repeatedly the protagonist and others are shooting at them and every time the bullets seem to bounce off.  Then towards the end of the film, in the elevator sequence, just when our hero needs it…the bullets seem to affect one of these things—huh? 

2.      There’s also a black officer droid, which seems to be the leader/badass of droids—toward the end he lifts our hapless hero completely off the ground with one hand.  Now if you know anything about physics, this means that the droid must be hundreds of pounds heavier than a normal human, right?  Well, our hero is dropped and then proceeds to kick the droid and it actually stumbles backward—say what?  This entire fight scene looks ridiculous.  A barehanded human cannot be able to punch a droid and have it hurt him.  Sorry, doesn’t happen.  Please check your Sci-fi manual for more information.  But I digress.

3.      There’s another scene, where Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston is made out to be some martial art badass—this, does not work.  He can cook meth, but Bruce Lee style does not work for him…at least not on film.
 
More Thoughts:
There are continuous areas of awesomeness that exists throughout the film, but I have to remark on Kate Beckinsale.  She is so friggin’ hot, it’s disgusting.  What makes her even better looking is the fact that she’s kicking everybody’s ass in the film.  This adds at least double to her hotness, easy.  There’s also a scene in the beginning, where she’s just in her panties and—wow, don’t even get me started.  Also running around in the film is Jessica Biel, another really beautiful woman.  The only scene missing is the one where they’re making out…damn it, did I go too far?
 
Back to the film:
If Total Recall wasn’t a remake of an Arnold classic, it would have been a classic in its own right.  Do yourself a favor, if you like sci-fi and action and fantastic visuals, then rent this sucker…if not, stay far, far away.  If you didn’t get to see this in theaters, than Blu-ray is the next best thing.
 
A Solid 3 out of 5 stars (minus 2 stars for the remake problem)

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