Endless Possibilities with Bioshock Infinite

Bioshock Infinite is terrible!  Why?  Well, because I planned on sitting down for a couple of hours of mindless gaming, and got sucked into a world I didn't want to let go.  A couple of hours turned into an entire night, and now I have a whole lot of crap I have to catch up on.  But all I want to do is jump back into Columbia.  Damn, life’s priorities can be frigging complicated.

We've all come home from a long day at work: brain tenderized, eyes twitching, and aggravation bubbling in our throat.  All we want is mindless activities to stop our mind from atrophying.  But you slip in the new video game you purchased and synapses start firing.  Your thumbs take a back seat to story and suddenly you're thrown into a world you don't want to leave.  A video game with a pulse—does the myth really exist?  You bet your ass it does, it's called Bioshock Infinite.

WARNING: non-gamers should not proceed further in this article.  Games will be put on a pedestal.  If for some strange reason, gaming does not tickle your naughty bits, then feel free to move on.  Thank you and have a nice non-gaming life—if that's even possible.

Keep it up.  I'll beat the non-gamer right out of you! 

Every gamer has that one game that doesn't do much, but throw bodies into our view for us to mow down in blood splattering glory (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).  There's no thinking, barely any strategizing, and absolutely no story.  You gain more health and a bigger gun to rip through even more enemies, just to get to the next level.  But is that a game that will add memories that'll last forever?  Is this the type of game that keeps you talking about it, even after you've turned it off?  Nope.  It's mindless fun.  Fun that will soon get old and die alone, because deep down inside there's nothing there: no story, no plot, not even a main character whose name you can remember. 

Pew. Pew. Wait...I forgot--Why am I doing this again?

Bioshock Infinite graced gaming shelves this past Tuesday, and if you haven't stepped foot yet in Columbia, then stop reading this article and go buy the damn thing, because it's that good.  I can't possibly review the game yet, because I have something called a life that no matter how hard I try, continues to get in the way.  Damn.  So, instead I'll leave you with first impressions.

Safety first, Sir.  Your finger shouldn't be on the trigger until your ready to kill something. You might hurt yourself.

STORY:

Booker DeWitt, protagonist, is sent to retrieve a girl named Elizabeth, to remove his debt.  He soon finds himself entranced in the City of Columbia, where alternate history, racism and steampunk lay within the cracks.  Once he finds the girl, crazy gun battles with blood soaked goodness ensue.  Oh, and there’s a giant mechanical bird chasing you…enjoy your stay.

*Sniffle* I wuv you Tweety bird. Just don't eat me--Okay?

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

As an artist/writer I look at a lot more than just how the game plays.  I look at the world first, and then I let the story sink in.  For the first hour and a half of Bioshock Infinite, all I did was run around in the remarkable city that Irrational Games dumped every ounce of love they had, into.  There wasn't any fighting, tearing off heads, setting people on fire, or even much dialogue.  Just wandering and discovering all the nook and crannies the developers slipped into the world.  One word: fascinating. 

Crap, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore.

From the moment Booker Dewitt (main protagonist) opens the door to Columbia after a forced Baptism, you are graced with beauty and innovation.  The art direction and idea wraps itself around you and sucks you right in, without the help of conflict.  Right away, I want to know more about this crazy city in the sky.  Why it came to be?  Who's the man in charge?  Why I'm there?  And if you take the time to look around and gobble up all the conversations going on, then you start to piece some things together.  Roaming the streets, I stopped and listened to every conversation, eat every forgotten snack and tried all available mini games.  This truly was a remarkable experience, and I would have been just fine doing that for many more hours, but conflict keeps people interested.  So…

Not soon after taking in all the sights and sounds Columbia had to offer, I was attacked in the middle of a fair.  All the sweet colors and fantastical elements turned to stress and exasperation, as I attempted to stay alive and get to my next objective: find Elizabeth.  I was almost sad to see the tranquil city vanquish, and all the evil hatred break through.

Hey, how are ya?  Mind if I just grab you by the head for a second?

Quickly you'll feel right at home with Infinite, if you've played any of the other Bioshock games.  There are vending machines for your health and bullets, upgrades for your vigors (the special powers in the game), and guns.  The only problem is money is damn hard to come by, even after scrounging around every area, I still didn't have enough to upgrade a vigor and then if I did, I'll have no money for health or ammo.  Dang it, life in the sky is hard.

The eerie silence and underwater landscape of the first Bioshock is replaced with continuous outdoor sounds, and a view of wide open sky.  If the first Bioshock made you feel a little claustrophobic and lonely, Infinite gives you continuous conversations and a sandbox feel.  Just zipping around on the sky-rail, clouds and buildings whizzing by your head, allows the player to feel the immensity of the floating city, and just how far Irrational Games has come as a developer.

Don't look down.  Don't look...damn, I just pissed myself.

I've only had time to gain four vigors, but so far, they are a spectacle to watch.  If you have a sick sense of humor, Possession could be a fun vigor to use.  Zapping an NPC with it will cause them to fight for you and then after it wears off, they'll commit suicide.  I zapped a normal citizen who had a club in his hand, and after a few moments he decided to beat the crap out of his face with it...hilarious.

Deleted scene from the Abyss.

And then you’ll meet Elizabeth.  No, she's not your average NPC partner that happens to run into every wall, like they're magnetized.  She has a life that hasn't been written into gaming code yet...until now of course.  When you’re off inspecting something, there's a good chance she'll run off to experience life herself.  And when you're ready to move on, she's right there to back you up.  Unbelievable.  I can't imagine what type of code had to be written for all this, but it makes Bioshock Infinite a step toward the future of gaming.  She not only talks to you throughout your struggle, but she’ll find money, ammo, and anything else of interest for you, swiftly becoming an asset.

Hmm...if only you really existed, then there'd be no reason to leave the bedroom. 

Of course you could be the type of gamer that bypasses all this extra stuff and just goes right to the bloody battles—and there are bloody battles—but that's what gaming is all about: you get to write your own story.  I have no doubt the entire beginning sequence can be run through in a matter of minutes.  I'm sure the designers wouldn't like to see that happen, but it's your game, you paid for it, so you deserve whatever experience you want.

Alright, I'm pretty sure I left the stove on.

I'm no more than a handful of hours into the game, and it could go completely downhill from here, but I highly doubt it, especially with Irrational's track record so far.  If by some chance you were on the fence with Bioshock Infinite, sway no further.  Just go ahead and buy it, you'll thank me, and then thank yourself.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rescue Elizabeth from a giant mechanical bird…

So far, so good: 5 out of 5 stars (did you expect anything less?)

Happy Easter!

UPDATE:  I've crushed the game, and it is awesome!  The ending might have you banging your head against a wall (but in a good way), so make sure you do a search and find all the articles explaining every morsel of goodness. 

4 out of 5 stars (minus 1 star because the original Bioshock is 5 out of 5, and nothing...NOTHING beats the original)

DVD Movie Review - Killer Joe

After watching "Killer Joe" I didn't know whether to be aroused, appalled, or ashamed.  I guess in a perfect world, you could be all three...but that's just sick.  Seriously, the film gives a whole new added benefit for the fried chicken leg—and it has nothing to do with consumption.  So, what kind of movie is Killer Joe?  It's the kind of movie that you don't openly express that you've actually seen, but if you hear someone talking about it, you have to jump into the conversation out of sheer curiosity.  It borders on raunchy, sleazy, humorous, erotic, ridiculous and down-right wrong.

"You ever seen symbols like that before?  Apparently, they're called 'words'." 

WARNING! SPOILERS: Full scenes are discussed below, because...they just had to be, sorry.  

                                       Endings and plot spoilers are withheld.  Read on at your own risk.

STORY:

Whacked-out Chris Smith (Emile Hirsch) owes some powerful men six grand.  Instead of working for it, he decides the best way to obtain the money, is to have his mother killed and use the life insurance policy to pay off his debts.  Enter…Killer Joe Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) who will do the deed for payment.  Since Chris doesn't have the money up front, he offers up his innocent, naive sister Dottie (Juno Temple) as a retainer.  Bat-sh*t crazy, trailer-park trash stupidity ensues.

Hey, at least he's not texting too.

THOUGHTS:

I don't even know where to begin. So...let’s start at the opening:

The opening scene has Chris banging on a trailer door in the middle of the night.  After a few minutes, his step-mother answers in just a t-shirt giving Chris and the audience a face-full-of-bush.  The upside?  It's Gina Gershon's bush.  The downside?  It's more unkempt than the Amazon.  I wouldn't be surprised that if and when she does trim the hedges, they find a few new species of mammal in there.  Chris does ask her what she's doing answering the door like that, to which she simply replies: "Well, I didn't know who it was."  Wow—and if you think that's the line they won't cross, you'd be wrong.  Dead wrong.  Once the face-full-of-bush line is laid on the concrete, the film pulls out a jackhammer and obliterates it until there's nothing left, but bits and pieces of good morals.

Gina Gershon called, she wants her bush trimmers back.

The Smiths are the epitome of sleaze: there’s Chris, the degenerate scumbag that loves his little sister, but sees nothing wrong with killing his mother.

Ansel Smith (Thomas Haden Church), Chris' simple father, who goes along with anything, just make sure he has a beer in the fridge and a monster truck rally on the TV.

Sharla Smith (Gina Gershon), Chris' step-mother/town whore, who also sees nothing wrong with offing the mother, as long as she gets 1/4 of the insurance money.

Dottie Smith (Juno Temple) who plays naive, but seems to know more of what's going on than most of these idiots.  Oh, and she really likes Kung-Fu.

Killer Joe (McConaughey) who isn't officially part of the Smiths, but would like to be, and he's also a police detective/hit man.

"Crap.  I forgot how to walk again."

The hardest part of the film is rooting for someone.  You really don't know whose side to take here.  The closest you can come is the younger sister Dottie, but even she makes some questionable decisions.  So, good luck.

ACTING:

Emile Hirsch is the only weak link in the movie.  He seems to be having a fun time with the character, but emotionally his acting isn't there.  But, if Emile's sloppy acting weighs down the film, then it's lifted right back up by everyone else.  Church, Gershon, Temple, and especially McConaughey are excellent in all the roles.  As much as some of the scenes make your skin crawl between Temple and McConaughey, they both put every ounce of effort into even the most subtle parts.

"Oh, whisper it again...slowly."  K...F...C...

GOOFY/BIZARRE SCENES:

There are some scenes in this movie that once you see them, they'll become a stain on the wall of your brain.  Not bleach or even acid will rinse these moving pictures from your mind.  There are plenty of other over the top shenanigans going on, but these two scenes...well, read below:

NAKED KUNG FU:

Chris falls asleep on the sofa and thinks he's dreaming when his sister comes out in the middle of the night, and decides to Kung-Fu kick the air, bare-ass naked.  And absolutely nothing is held back: Full-female frontals are a dime-a-dozen in this movie, so expect to see everything.  The scene makes no sense whatsoever, has nothing to do with plot, but made me crack up laughing.  The expression Temple has on her face while doing the kick is priceless, and then she simply turns around and stomps away.  (Hilarious to a very sick mind)

"I wanna watch Kung-Fu Panda!  Kung-Fu Panda!  I don't like the new Karate Kid."

CHICKEN LEG FELLATIO:

The honor of this scene goes to Gina Gershon.  She just received a nose crushing fist to the face, turning her entire facade purple with blood dripping everywhere.  Then she gets on her knees and well...you know.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around the kind of person who thinks up a scene like this one.  Not to mention McConaughey's actions while it's taking place.  (Excuse me a second—I have to go wash out my eyeballs and then head to Confession.)  The one question I have is: What the hell was Gershon thinking while reading the script?  Did she read the scene and think, "Man, this is Oscar material right here."  Or did they spring this crap on her?  Either way, she deserves some kind of award, and if there's none to give, then they need to create one...period.

"Me and you are going to do such naughty things together."

If you’re at all wondering whether this film is, or is not intended for small children—what the hell have you been reading?  The frigging answer seems clear to me.  Now, if you’re are still wondering, then go ahead and check yourself into a mental institution, because something is wrong and it's going to take all of the world’s doctors to figure that crap out.

"If it makes you feel any better.  I'd do the scene if they asked me...but they're not asking me.  You see?"

Killer Joe is a film that once seen, can't be unseen.  The actions, dialogue, and filth will attach itself to your mind until you die.  Even then, it might pass itself off to your children.  You will be disgusted, appalled, but also laughing, and possibly aroused if a bucket of chicken is your thing.  Either way, Killer Joe is a film that shouldn't be missed if you like controversial scenes and outlandish plots.

3 out of 5 stars (minus 1 star for helping me realize I have a sick mind and another for the "slightly" over-the-top plot) 

Book Review - Hard Magic

Hard Magic is what happens if Raymond Chandler wrote the X-Men.  If you find that idea appeasing, then you will be right at home diving into Larry Correia's magic crime noir.

 Hmm...tell me more about these X-Men, while I pretend to smoke this pipe.

STORY:

Tough guy, Jake Sullivan, who also happens to be a Gravity Spiker/Heavy, hopes to one day be a free man from a crime he committed years ago.  The FBI recruits him to help wrangle other Actives (people who possess special powers) until his debt is paid.  Soon thereafter he becomes wrapped up in a plot so sinister and complicated that even he doesn't know what's happening until the end.  Crazy super-power fights ensue.

THOUGHTS:

The title "Hard Magic" might throw you off a little.  The story doesn't revolve around witches and warlocks, or silly spells with wands. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Harry Twatter)  This story is based in the Hoover days of the FBI, and there are people running around everywhere that have one special gift or more appropriately, a special power.

"Did someone say my name?"  Nope, beat it loser. 

Think X-Men in the 1920's-1930’s, minus color and the tight spandex outfits.  You have people that can reverse gravity, making things lighter or heavier (our protagonist); people like Nightcrawler, who can vanish and reappear anywhere; Brutes, who will rip your head from your body like you were a doll; healers (no explanation needed); psychics, and a whole slew of other powers ranging from luck, to being able to give people disease.  Oh, and there's Steampunk too.  It comes in the form of massive Airships, where several battles take place.

"What the hell happened to our color?"  Shut up and just go with it. 

Larry Correia creates an alternate history where these Actives run around freely.  (There are introductory paragraphs before each chapter that give you a tiny smidgen of Correia’s alternate history. Unnecessary, but an awesome addition to the novel) Some Actives are employed by the government, and there are others who'd rather become criminals.  Adolf Hitler and his silly Nazis didn't happen, and the biggest threat to the United States is Japan.  And that's where Jake Sullivan comes in.  You see, the story unfolds through his eyes and the eyes of a sweet southern girl named Faye, who's a Traveler (think Nightcrawler).  Their paths cross and the story takes off.

"Does this cigarette make me look too smug?"  Never mind that--did I leave the stove on?

Other reviews stated the protagonist from this novel is similar to the protagonist in "Monster Hunter International."  (If you haven't tried that series yet, I highly recommend it and our review can be read right here.)  Besides being big and tough, the two main characters from each of Correia's series couldn't be more different.  Okay, maybe they do both carry big guns...but now you're just being nitpicky.

Coming off of a novel like MHI, which throws action, humor, monsters, and explosions at you almost every other page, it was jarring for me to jump into "Hard Magic" since I was expecting a story along the same lines.  MHI stayed pretty consistent, having the main character walk you through the plot most of the time.  "Hard Magic" jumped from one character to the next, with Jake and Faye having the larger portion of the story, but only through a slight margin.  And if there was one gripe about the novel I had, it would be the continuous rotating POV.

"I'd like to thank the acade...Hey, who keeps rotating me?!"

The story is quite multi-layered, so switching to another character every chapter seemed the only logical way of writing the book without being confusing.  But just as I started to like Jake Sullivan and find him amusing, another 2nd rate character would be introduced and I'd lose the connection.  I find switching POV's to be refreshing after several chapters following the main protagonist, but when it's every chapter, I tend to miss the main protagonist and skim paragraphs until I get back to him/her.

Alright, I'm confused. These shots have no correlation, whatsoever.

Does this make "Hard Magic" a bad novel?  Absolutely not.  If you don't mind being thrown around like that, then you will have no problem with the story. 

The action sequences are where Correia shines the most.  Having a room full of people with extraordinary powers doing extraordinary things to each other becomes a whole lot of fun.  You're never lost as Correia eases you into the different Actives, making you learn the world little by little.  Visualizing a female Brute charging at someone, only to have gravity change on them and they start to fall away from the earth, is stuff of genius.  And each fight scene capitalizes on the powers being used to the fullest.  There aren't any lame battles with just people smashing each other through walls—yes, that happens—but there is always refreshing ideas springing up.

"Sir, I just can't understand you." Mah noseth, mah noseth dammith! 

The noir part of the story is really just the setting.  Your typical crime noir usually had a detective looking into a small crime, which at times could spiral out of control, but mainly focused on just a few people.  This story starts small and works its way to Armageddon status fairly quickly.  But the novel is fantasy, so saving the world comes along with the package.  You also won't find any women looking for men to help them here, as most of the girls in this story would rather kill you first, and then say "yes" to marriage. 

Whoa...easy lady, you're showing way too much leg.

"Monster Hunter International" received a perfect score.  And since it's from the same author, comparing the two books is necessary.  If you like the action-packed, gun-slinging accountant, Owen from MHI, then you might be slightly disappointed here.  Jake is a good character, but you won’t get to dive deep enough to make him great.  Still, "Hard Magic" is a refreshing book with a wonderful story, and if you're hard-up for super powers with a side of crime noir/steampunk, then the book is a no-brainer.

3.75 out of 5 stars (Couldn’t give it a 3.5, but it wasn’t worthy of a 4—minus 1.25 stars for all the jumping around)

DVD Movie Review - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The joys of making the mixed-tape have never been so tragic.  It’s a complete and utter shame that kids these days will never feel the absolute letdown when the girl you passed said cassette tape to, looks at it, and then moments later sends it to the bottom of the trash pile to rot out its days lonely and humiliated.  What the hell do kids make today, anyway?  Ipod playlists?

STORY:

Freshman hermit, Charlie (Logan Lerman), spends most of his precious time staring at other kids, reading, never masturbating (seems legit), and seeing flashbacks in his head.  That is until Emma Watson walks into his life, along with her rainbow-flying stepbrother, to teach Charlie how to ride in the back of a pick-up truck, while barreling through a tunnel.  Crazy high school antics ensue.

I'm queen of the...oh, forget it.

THOUGHTS ON THE BOOK:

Five words: do not read the book.  Simple enough.  I attempted to breeze through the NY Times bestseller by Stephen Chbosky (Chbosky also wrote and directed the movie), because of all the hype and then I wanted to be able to compare the two.  Well, I never went passed page 50.

Never judge a book by its cover, unless... 

The book is written in a series of love notes to a friend (that’s you the reader), that have absolutely no sense of cohesion whatsoever.  I’ve seen better paragraph structure from 5^th graders shackled with A.D.H.D., while skydiving out of a Cessna.  Alright, maybe I’m reaching too far with that one: minus the A.D.H.D.

Love this.

Seriously…this is what constitutes a best-seller?  Holy crap, I’ve been writing all wrong.  I should just ramble on about whatever slop comes to mind at any given time, and BAM—best seller. 

But, this brings us to the good news…

THOUGHTS ON THE MOVIE:

Thank goodness Stephen Chbosky made the movie.  That way, every citizen that doesn’t have the time to read the book, can bypass that mess and enjoy a coming-to-age story in less than two hours.

Some of the passages/love-notes from the book are read by the movie’s protagonist, but they’re shortened, to the point, and don’t go off the rails after three words. 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower can be called a Dramedy.  A little more drama than comedy—I guess you can’t win them all.

Is that girl on the end having fun, or what?!

The movie has those scenes where you’re totally embarrassed for the characters.  And if that’s happening, then the acting and dialogue is top notch.  Every actor/actress plays the perfect role, and not once did I think of that ass-clown wizard, while watching this movie.  Thumbs up.

Yeah, I think my magic days are behind me.

The story deals with all the problems you can throw at one freshman, without him going off the deep end—well, you’ll have to watch the movie to see the outcome.  Homosexuality, teen crush, a friend’s death, a family member’s death, awkward sex, awkward break-ups, assaulting one’s better-half, weird high school dances, drug and alcohol addictions, mixed cassette tapes, bad music, pretty girls, terrible choices, molestation, and even the kitchen sink is thrown in just for good measure and a couple of laughs.

Now, if you’re not a fan of awkward situations, example: male teen dressing in drag, and then singing and dancing in front of the camera; or conversations about oral sex and the like, then you might want to hold off.  Not that those scenes are in a lot of the movie, but they are there.  So if you’re renting this for your twelve-year old because he gets a hard-on for Hermione Granger, then maybe you should watch it first, and then decide what’s good for your kid.  Otherwise, have at it.

Ummm...yeah, this speaks for itself.

It’s a perfect high school romp that will have you laughing out loud in some spots.  I couldn’t contain my chuckles watching Charlie attempt to deal with his first girlfriend, who happens to be a gothic Buddhist.

"I'm going to take your pants off now." Oh, oh...okay.

Dylan McDermott who plays Charlie’s father in the movie, has around 15 minutes of screen time, but in those minutes, he has some of the most memorable dialogue.  McDermott rattles off his thoughts about his daughter’s boyfriend, and then there’s a great line when Charlie asks him for 30 dollars.  Absolutely priceless.

Yep, I'm just that smooth.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower could have went down the depressing road very easily, but luckily it toes the line instead, leaving you pining for the old days.  Guys, if for some reason your relationship with your girl is on the fence, this might not be the best rental for movie night.  Those hilarious scenes with Charlie’s first girlfriend might hit a little closer to home than you’d like.  Just saying.  Otherwise, it’s a solid teen exploration film.  

4 out of 5 stars (minus 1 star for making me attempt the book first) 

Book Review - Monster Hunter International

QUICK FACT: there are no fancy “I-shimmer-like-a-crystal-dildo” vampires in this story.  These monsters will rip your face off and gobble up your intestines faster than you can say "I hate Twilight."

Yep, you suck.

Some books you pick up thinking: "I have a feeling this is going to suck worse than that mom-porn Fifty Shades."  So you turn the book over in your hands and study the back and then re-study the front, take a deep breath and go for it.  But something happens after the first couple pages, the story ends up being fun, entertaining, humorous, action-packed, and engaging.  The next thing you know you've ripped through 150 pages in a blink of an eye, and you still can't seem to put it down.

Monster Hunter International did this for me.  I really can't remember the last time I laughed and enjoyed a book this much.  Generally I need my stories grounded.  And with so much junk in the main stream about vampires, werewolves, etc., Monster Hunter International didn't seem like the kind of story I'd appreciate at all.  Surprise!  It's frigging great.

Keep those hairy paws away from my nuts, Pal.

But this book has been out for years—why do a review now?  Because, since I'm a new Larry Correia reader, I figured there has to be other readers out there that haven't taken the MHI plunge yet.  And the book is just too good not to mention.

STORY:

Owen Pitt is your average accountant that enjoys crunching numbers and dotting I's.  That's until his fat disgusting boss turns into a werewolf and tries to eat him.  Having fended him off and survived through the ordeal, he's offered a position in a secret company that kills these undesirables for a lucrative living.  After meeting a female employee in said organization and scrutinizing his boring life, Owen decides to take the plunge and sign up.  Monster craziness ensues.

Did I leave the stove on? 

THOUGHTS:

Quick Novel Recap: Tatatatatatatatat. Boom. Boom. Bang. Bang. Bang. Pow. Ugh…F*ck you monsters!  This has been a dramatized version of the novel, and is not in any way, to be mistaken for the real thing.

Yeah, it's somewhat like that. 

I couldn't stop reading at certain points, and when you have a job and have to get up in the morning, this really becomes a problem.  Was it the plot? Sure, the plot was awesome.  Was it the setting?  You mean our typical everyday world with monsters hidden throughout— sometimes.  What was it then that made you like the book so much?  The frigging characters!

Owen, the protagonist, may at times seem a little naive and nerdish, but he really is the type of guy you could get to know.  He loves guns.  Perfect.  He loves pretty girls that shoot guns.  Sounds better.  He loves watching women use RPG's to blow the snot out of monsters.  Now you’re speaking my language.  Seriously, if you don't like guns or the NRA, or women who would probably put a bullet in you before you could say all seven digits of your phone number, then this book is probably not your speed.

Black eye, here I come.

The story does a great job rounding up all the unique characters on the team.  You have hicks, blacks, Asians, ex-strippers, librarians, and even some special types that I don't want to give away.  You'll have to read it to find out.

The story is quite grounded.  Now, you're thinking "wait a minute; he just said they're gunning down zombies and vampires."  I did, but I didn't mean in that way.  I mean in how Correia writes it.  If there was a secret organization that killed hunters and the government wanted to keep it quiet, this is exactly how I could see it being accomplished. 

STORY PROBLEM?

There are passages where Larry Correia will just list the gear hanging on the hunter's armor, and this is where—according to most of the other reviews I've read—some people get turned off.  Why?  Knowing your gear and how to use it will be very helpful during the coming zombie apocalypse—trust me.  Learn your guns people; you never know when you’re going to need them.

Yes, I'll take 2 please. 

MORE THOUGHTS:

The story is also light-hearted: which is something I've come to enjoy lately.  There is drama and certain times where the story takes on a serious tone, but they're almost always followed up by something funny.  The main job of this book is to keep you entertained while you're reading, and I'm perfectly fine having a story do just that.  I don't need a hard-core drama that's make me look at my life and see how great I have it, or a novel that makes me so depressed I want to jump off the nearest bridge.  I want a book to take me away from the everyday crap that aggravates me and put a smile on my face, and Monster Hunter International exceeds my expectations.  And let's be serious, it's fantasy people...there should be humor. 

If you're looking for a short and sweet book, then don't pick this one up.  In paperback, it's just tad over 700 pages.  But you'll easily breeze through the thickness without even noticing, or you'll be like me and just want more.  Luckily, the franchise and story hasn't stopped there, as Correia has written several books continuing the MHI story.

So, if you like action, guns, humor, guns, monsters, guns, and random silliness, with a great story to wrap it all together, then don't hesitate to pick this one up.  If you're looking for a book to answer the meaning of life, then go bury yourself in a hole with some intellectual poetry, and stay there until you find the answer, because society doesn't need any more "downers."

  

"So then I said, f*ck you Dracula and your stupid cape."

Life is too short not to have a little fun, especially in a time when everything is so upside down.

5 out of 5 stars (Perfect! Well done Mr. Correia.)