QUICK
FACT:
there are no fancy “I-shimmer-like-a-crystal-dildo”
vampires in this story. These monsters
will rip your face off and gobble up your intestines faster than you can say
"I hate Twilight."
Yep, you suck.
Some
books you pick up thinking: "I have
a feeling this is going to suck worse than that mom-porn Fifty Shades." So you turn the book over in your hands and
study the back and then re-study the front, take a deep breath and go for
it. But something happens after the
first couple pages, the story ends up being fun, entertaining, humorous,
action-packed, and engaging. The next
thing you know you've ripped through 150 pages in a blink of an eye, and you
still can't seem to put it down.
Monster
Hunter International did this for me. I
really can't remember the last time I laughed and enjoyed a book this
much. Generally I need my stories
grounded. And with so much junk in the
main stream about vampires, werewolves, etc., Monster Hunter International
didn't seem like the kind of story I'd appreciate at all. Surprise!
It's frigging great.
Keep those hairy paws away from my nuts, Pal.
But
this book has been out for years—why do a review now? Because, since I'm a new Larry Correia
reader, I figured there has to be other readers out there that haven't taken
the MHI plunge yet. And the book is just
too good not to mention.
STORY:
Owen
Pitt is your average accountant that enjoys crunching numbers and dotting
I's. That's until his fat disgusting
boss turns into a werewolf and tries to eat him. Having fended him off and survived through
the ordeal, he's offered a position in a secret company that kills these
undesirables for a lucrative living.
After meeting a female employee in said organization and scrutinizing his
boring life, Owen decides to take the plunge and sign up. Monster craziness ensues.
Did I leave the stove on?
THOUGHTS:
Quick
Novel Recap:
Tatatatatatatatat. Boom. Boom. Bang. Bang. Bang. Pow. Ugh…F*ck you
monsters! This has been a dramatized version of the novel, and is not in any way,
to be mistaken for the real thing.
Yeah, it's somewhat like that.
I
couldn't stop reading at certain points, and when you have a job and have to
get up in the morning, this really becomes a problem. Was it
the plot? Sure, the plot was awesome.
Was it the setting? You mean our typical everyday world with
monsters hidden throughout— sometimes. What was it then that made you like the book
so much? The frigging characters!
Owen,
the protagonist, may at times seem a little naive and nerdish, but he really is
the type of guy you could get to know.
He loves guns. Perfect.
He loves pretty girls that shoot guns.
Sounds better. He loves watching women use RPG's to blow the
snot out of monsters. Now you’re speaking my language. Seriously, if you don't like guns or the NRA,
or women who would probably put a bullet in you before you could say all seven
digits of your phone number, then this book is probably not your speed.
Black eye, here I come.
The
story does a great job rounding up all the unique characters on the team. You have hicks, blacks, Asians, ex-strippers,
librarians, and even some special types that I don't want to give away. You'll have to read it to find out.
The
story is quite grounded. Now, you're
thinking "wait a minute; he just
said they're gunning down zombies and vampires." I did, but I didn't mean in that way. I mean in how Correia writes it. If there was
a secret organization that killed hunters and the government wanted to keep it quiet,
this is exactly how I could see it being accomplished.
STORY PROBLEM?
There
are passages where Larry Correia will just list the gear hanging on the
hunter's armor, and this is where—according to most of the other reviews I've
read—some people get turned off.
Why? Knowing your gear and how to
use it will be very helpful during the coming zombie apocalypse—trust me. Learn your guns people; you never know when
you’re going to need them.
Yes, I'll take 2 please.
MORE THOUGHTS:
The
story is also light-hearted: which is something I've come to enjoy lately. There is drama and certain times where the
story takes on a serious tone, but they're almost always followed up by
something funny. The main job of this
book is to keep you entertained while you're reading, and I'm perfectly fine
having a story do just that. I don't
need a hard-core drama that's make me look at my life and see how great I have
it, or a novel that makes me so depressed I want to jump off the nearest
bridge. I want a book to take me away
from the everyday crap that aggravates me and put a smile on my face, and
Monster Hunter International exceeds my expectations. And let's be serious, it's fantasy
people...there should be humor.
If
you're looking for a short and sweet book, then don't pick this one up. In paperback, it's just tad over 700
pages. But you'll easily breeze through
the thickness without even noticing, or you'll be like me and just want
more. Luckily, the franchise and story
hasn't stopped there, as Correia has written several books continuing the MHI
story.
So,
if you like action, guns, humor, guns, monsters, guns, and random silliness,
with a great story to wrap it all together, then don't hesitate to pick this
one up. If you're looking for a book to
answer the meaning of life, then go bury yourself in a hole with some
intellectual poetry, and stay there until you find the answer, because society
doesn't need any more "downers."
"So then I said, f*ck you Dracula and your stupid cape."
Life is too short not to have a little fun, especially in a time when
everything is so upside down.
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