Da
Vinci's Demons:
a whole show based in Italy…and not one
Italian actor. If that doesn't give you
an insight as to what to expect from this review, then I don't know what will.
Leonardo—with
such a wealth of reference, imagination, and curiosity behind his name, it's
amazing that Da Vinci's Demons has the remarkable ability to take everything
fantastic about the man, throw it in a blender, hit frappe, and pour out a
batter you would more likely use for pancakes.
If you're looking for cheap tricks, opium smoked revelations, homoerotic
silliness, and questionable CG; then this is your show, because intelligence,
humor and any hint of sophistication…seems to have gone out to lunch.
STORY:
Mixing
fantasy with reality, Da Vinci's Demons looks to dive deep into the mystical
past of one of the most fascinating men to have ever lived. Silly dialogue, random nudity, drug induced
hallucinations, and shady green-screen tactics ensue.
Astonishingly, all the birds that day remained frozen in hopes
to become a sketch in Leonardo's book.
THOUGHTS ON STUPID: (Feel free to skip to "Show Thoughts" below)
(Be warned: I have an allergic reaction to
stupid. I'm not saying I'm super smart
or anything, but I do know most of the alphabet, and if I sing it, 90% of the
time I will get to "Z")
A
typical fluff piece on the Inter-Webs was boasting on how awesome Da Vinci's
Demons will be, once you gaze upon its magnificence. But the article has since been totally wiped
from my memory. What has remained stuck
in my mind like syrup to genitalia is its comment section.
I'm
paraphrasing, but the comment went something like: "this show is going to suck, because they won't even show that he was
gay, so I'm not watching."
That, right there is why I have little hope for society. For every intelligent statement you hear, you
get eight or nine fragments of random stupid.
Let's get one thing straight: the show is corny on all types of levels, and some people may even say that
it sucks, but it’s for totally different reasons than not showing Leonardo's
sexual preference.
Dead center shows early signs of Leonardo's sexual orientation...or not.
So
if I'm to understand this person, the show mustn't talk about how Leonardo was
an artist, architect, musician, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist,
geologist, botanist—crap, I'm running out
of room here, let’s just assume he was awesome at everything—until it
clearly shows Leonardo humping another man.
Say what?
Is
this really where we are in society? So
sexual preference comes before his advances of science, everything that was
mechanical, and his painting? We might as well throw the Mona Lisa on the
floor and piss on it, because he didn't write whether or not he was gay in the
bottom left-hand corner.
The 21st century Mona showing-off her best duck-face.
Do
me a favor—stop the world, I want to get off.
SHOW THOUGHTS:
With
all this reference material the writers had to work with, we get corny
mechanical birds, a silly helper, ridiculous dialogue between Leonardo and his
friends, and scenes that make it seem like every important figure in Italy
liked young boys. Basically the show has
been watered down for an audience that would rather watch Jersey Shore, while
giving each other a tan-in-a-can
spray down. It seems Da Vinci's Demons
is looking for more shock value than actual story to keep people watching.
Stupid: it comes in all shapes & sizes.
In
the opening scene, a political figure is murdered and I don't care. Then a man in charge of something gets mad
and I don't care. Then, somewhere along
the line we come to Leonardo, whose painting a nude woman in a field and
talking about his mother, and really…I didn't care. And that's the problem with the show; the
characters are paper thin cutouts of stereotypes. They have no depth, giving the audience nothing
to relate too. So in the end, I could
care less if Leonardo wanted to help a man before he was hung, or stop a person
from getting picked on by a few guards.
Humor: this should be
an underlining necessity in every show; no matter if its drama, horror, action,
fantasy, reality, or some crazy inter-dimensional sub-plane where bananas
rule. Humor can be found in almost every
aspect of life, and if you're not making the audience horny, sad, scared, or
stressed, then you better be making them laugh.
And this show didn't strike one humor note at all. (There
was one lame comment from Leonardo's friend about wanting to have sex with an
ugly fat chick, but the way it was delivered, and the context that it was in,
made it feel creepy instead.)
Sadly, all early premiers of Da Vinci's Demons had to have laughing gas pumped into each theater.
The
positive is the actor (Tom Riley) playing
Leonardo. He comes off as intelligent,
suave, and adventurous, but sadly the dialogue and story drag all his acting
attempts through the mud, making everything he does devoid of emotional impact. Not to mention, some of the backdrops made it
hard to focus on what he was even saying, which brings me to my next point.
"Be honest--Is my raised eyebrow taking away from my hairy chest shot?"
Shows
that have to portray a period in time where everything has to be built from
scratch, or run through a computer, should stay away from wide scenic shots as
much as possible. TV series don't usually
have the money to pull off proper CG backdrops and sets, and this show is no
exception. The live actors don't fit properly
into the computer renderings, giving Da Vinci's Demons a late 90’s look during
a few scenes. I can't imagine what it
costs to have to recreate Renaissance Italy, but whatever it is, this show
isn't getting anywhere close.
The
ending I'm sure was written to grab the attention of everyone watching and make
you want to come back the next week. I
imagine the writers finishing that scene, giving each other high-fives, and
then laughing manically at its genius.
Well, I don't want to rain on the writer’s parade, but I saw that ending
coming from a mile away. It's almost as
if they have a magical hat filled with over-used story twists written on paper,
decided to just pull one out, and then smack each other's asses in
excitement.
"I'm telling you the truth--this right here is the bird that crapped on my wagon. We must find it at once!"
What
could have been an adventurous drama/comedy, diving into the genius of
Leonardo, turned into a steaming pile of drivel. The good thing is Starz already picked up the show for a second season, so they'll
have plenty of time to work their way up from the bottom of the barrel. Here’s
hoping the show gets better.
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