You might be looking at the title and thinking:
"What the hell are you talking
about? Batman is relevant. Have you seen Nolan's Batman trilogy?" And that's exactly what I'm talking
about. Batman doesn't only exist in the
Nolan universe. There are plenty other
forms of Batman that only the truest of fan would know. And to be able to make a case for any form of
Batman incarnation, one must have flowing Bat-juice in their loins. The person must be able to recite any Bat-dialogue,
from any Bat-source, like they're Rainman's nerd cousin, who instead of
watching "Who's on First," continually
play the opening from “Batman: The
Animated Series.” And as far as I
know, there's only one Bat-nerd out there that has a Bat-gasm every time you just
mention any Bat-material—whether in normal conversation or sexy pillow talk—and
that's Kevin Smith.
WHO IS THE BATMAN?
Now, you might just know about Batman because
your boyfriend has made you sit through the recent movies, or you may know
about him because your kid asked you to pick up the latest action figure, but
after listening to Kevin's “Fatman on Batman” podcast, you'll not only know every character in the Batman
universe, but you'll know what they eat, when they crap, and if Superman can
really get Lois pregnant. Yes, Kevin is
that far gone. Is this a bad thing? Well, as long as he doesn't don B-Man's suit
with crotch-less slacks—leaving his jewels to flop and frolic about for the
world to see—then we're pretty much safe. What I'm really trying to say is Kevin's love for a
fictional character that squeezes into spandex to fight crime is so
overwhelming, that you can't help but feel sorry for him…and become a Batman fan.
SMITH OWES ME MONEY: (Not a lot, but some.)
I find podcasts absolutely boring. Most of time it's some jack-off, sweaty,
sitting in his underwear, picking his nose, and talking about whatever fetish
helps put wind in his sails. So
listening to a downloaded podcast makes me either fall asleep, or smash my
player against the wall. But somehow, a
few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a “Fatman
on Batman” interview with Jeph Loeb (Batman:
The Long Halloween, Teen Wolf, Commando).
Not only was I entertained during the interview, which lasted just over
3 1/2 hours, but I wanted to hear more.
Most interviews, especially with celebrities,
are around 10 minutes long and are always trying to sell you something: "Oh, tell the audience about your new book
that you wrote while taking a crap in a stranger's house." Kevin Smith does none of that. Sure, he'll talk to a guest about what
they're currently working on, but not before he walks you through the guest's
entire life, usually starting from when they're young. And if you think I'm kidding about the
length, head over to “Fatman on Batman,”
and check out some of the interviews.
The shortest one on there might just be north of an hour, and in
interview standards, that's frigging crazy.
Celebrity interviews are also staged: the
interviewer will tell the interviewee the exact questions they'll be asking, so
the interviewee can prepare. Again, not with
Kevin Smith. He pretty much has an outline
of the person's life he's interviewing, so he knows where to start, but then he
just wings it. You basically feel like
you're sitting in Kevin's basement and he just invited some person over, who happens
to like Batman too.
So how does Kevin owe me money, then? Well, after listening to every “Fatman on Batman” podcast available, I
of course had to run out and read Scott Snyder's current run on the Batman
comic. Also, I had to buy Batman: The
Animated Series on DVD, which I haven't seen since I was a teenager. (If you
liked that series, well, Smith has had Batman himself behind the microphone—Kevin
Conroy. On top of that, the frigging
Joker, Mark Hamill—who has a severe case of ADHD—has sat down with him. Not to mention the animators and writers of
the series.) After hearing him talk
about the animated movie, The Dark Knight Returns, over and over again…yep,
went out and picked that up too. Smith
makes each and every guest seem so down to earth and just plain nice, that you’ll
want to support them and the Dark
Knight.
WHAT IF I HATE KEVIN SMITH?
Sadly, there are people out there that can't
stand Kevin Smith, even though they've never met the man. If your loathing goes so far as hating the
sound of his voice, well…then I'd stay far away from “Fatman on Batman.” Other people
might complain that Smith will completely ramble on while interviewing, because
the amount of marijuana currently floating around in his system is enough to
kill a dinosaur. Or some might get
uptight because he doesn't exactly post the new podcasts on a strict set
schedule. You know what I say to all that? It's free.
How can you possibly get upset over something that's free? These great interviews pull nothing from your
pockets. The only thing they steal is
your time, but you can turn them off
whenever you want.
CONCLUSION:
If you're into
podcasts, movies, humor, writing, comics, or Batman, then you should make the
plunge over to the Smodcast network and check out some of the interviews. If you want to hear a forty something year
old man, cry like a little girl over scenes from Batman: The Animated Series, then don't hesitate to check this
out. You may even be like me: a person
who really doesn't like podcasts, but appreciates good interviews and finding
out how people got their start in the entertainment industry. And if that's the case, then trust me,
there's at least one interview on there from the long list, that'll make you
happy.Choice Interviews:
Jeph Loeb, Jim Lee, Tara Strong, Mark Hamill, Scott Snyder, Stan Lee, Kevin Conroy
No comments:
Post a Comment