PlayStation Now: The End of Consoles?

(Xbox: Later -- Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Over a year ago, Sony acquired a company named Gaikai, a streaming gaming service, and the news made most gamers pass gas and then go back to their daily lives of filtering porn and reading reviews.  But that all was about to change come 2014's CES show.  During that show, Sony unveiled its answer to backwards gaming compatibility—something that had been left out of the shiny new PS4 box—leading most joystick-fondlers to send texts starting with, "WTF!," and then declare nothing made sense anymore.  Well…whether you like it or not, the future is here console children, and it's called PlayStation Now.

"Hey, that looks remarkably like a PS3 plugged in behind there..."

"We have another Code-Red.  Blue team move in.  If they don't accept the gift bag, hit 'em with the

stun gun and drag 'em off the floor."

WHAT IS PLAYSTATION NOW?

It's a magical cloud filled with video game promises and lollipop power-ups.  It's the answer to every gamer's dilemma: "What the hell am I going to do at grandma’s, besides falling asleep in the bathroom with my pants down?"  Well, my fellow pixelated adventurist, your dilemma has been filed away under inappropriate behavior, but more importantly, has been answered by Sony.  PlayStation Now allows you to log onto Sony's gaming cloud and play all your favorite PlayStation games (PS3 and older) until your eyeballs fall out, from anywhere on almost anything.  Close your eyes and picture a never ending library of video games just waiting—calling out—to you to reach that next level, so you can brag to your friends or non-gaming co-workers.  Isn't it marvelous?  There's just one tiny, itsy bitsy little catch.  It's all done streaming from the Internet.  So the real question is: "Does grandma have at least 5Mbps of broadband connection for your gaming needs?"  Or more importantly, "Does your work have a good Wi-Fi connection in the bathroom?"  Probably not.  But that's not to say this isn't a huge step in the right direction for gamers.

"I promised I wouldn't cry...but it's been my dream to be streamed in the bathroom while a 

gamer is taking a dump."

PS NOW - THE PROS & CONS:

Technology is fantastic…as long as you're capable of staying on top of it.  The biggest concern with PS Now is whether your Internet (or lack thereof) can handle the service.  What happens if you're in the middle of a fire-fight in COD and your Internet is on the fritz or has a hiccup?  Well, looks like you'll have to spend another twenty minutes hiding in the office closet making back that loss.  But these problems are basically the same ones that exist in any multiplayer today.  So if your connection is pretty solid, PS Now shouldn't give you any trouble.

"Yeah, but all these older games are for people who only own a PS4 or Sony tablet or Sony TV...I already own a PS3 and Vita and have played all the games.  So what do I get?"  A swift kick in the genitals for being such a diehard fan.  Congrats, now get out of Sony's face.  Actually, PS Now will allow you to play, save, and continue from anywhere, at any time, on all kinds of different devices (Sony plans to move the service to TVs, tablets, and even non-Sony products).  So the non-PlayStation owners will benefit the most from the service, but Sony has promised to let you play The Last of Us (a game you've already beaten on your PS3, because it's remarkable) on your Vita.  So there's that.

"Yo, check this out..."

"I know right.  Those graphics are awesome.  Imagine what they'd look like on a HD TV.  It would 

be epic--oh wait..." 

Xbox fan-boys are rubbing their sweaty palms together and drooling on controllers, just waiting for the day they can simply play all the exclusive PS games they missed on their TV.  Not so fast, Microsoft-lovers.  There's a little thing called cost.  You didn't think a great service like this would be free did you?  Of course not, you're smarter than that—you own an Xbox One for heaven's sake.  So what will the cost of such a tremendous library of games be?  Right now, Sony is saying the service can be paid as a subscription or on a purchased game basis, but many details still remain hidden until the summer.  So while you're poolside, lathering up those few hundred pounds you put on during winter, Sony will be rolling out PS Now to the masses.  The good thing is Sony really does right by the people buying their services, as any PS Plus owner will tell you.  So it's easy to expect more for less with PS Now.

"I don't get it.  Go one block up they said.  Turn right.  Two more blocks and then a left.  How in the hell did I end up here?"

BUT IS THIS THE END OF CONSOLES?

You might have seen the articles and heard the presentations of PlayStation Now and thought, "We'll, crap, if I can access HD gaming from my tablet, or TV—why in the hell would I ever need a console again?"  And you wouldn't be alone.  Many gamers have the same feeling sloshing around in their stomach, along with cheese balls and under-cooked burritos, but the truth is, no matter how fast Internet speeds get, and no matter how quick companies can stream HD data, having a local box with up-to-date hardware (Xbox One or PS4 or a high-end PC for example) will always be faster and more powerful.

So is this truly the end of consoles?  In short, no.  As internet speeds continue to climb in the next decade, machines and processors and video cards will also continue to grow.  A better question is would Sony, since they have PS Now, do away with a console in the next decade?  They could, but that would only hurt sales.  There's a large chunk of the market that still doesn't have high-speed Internet, and probably won't in the coming years.  But the even better question is: Could this be the end of the console as we know it today?  Possibly.  That shiny new box you have sitting near your HD television could be the last time you see games in disc format, but that's a fight for another article entirely.

"Go ahead, I dare ya.  Say I have a stutter one more time because I'm streaming.  See what happens."

What might disappear in the next decade?  Handhelds.  PS Now or any service of the like could eventually kill handhelds, especially if any tablet (phone?) could access a vast gaming library.  Then there would be no need for devices like the Vita or 3DS.  Why go out and buy a handheld when you already have a tablet at home to access a library of games?  And if PS Now is even a tiny bit successful, you can bet other companies (Microsoft, Nintendo, etc.) will be jumping on the bandwagon, if they haven't started already.  And that's where the real fun begins, because more streaming services from different companies, creates competition.  And competition creates better offers, better games, and better features…all adding up to one thing: a better experience for the gamer.  No matter how you view PlayStation Now—awesome or just another silly idea—it's still a great opportunity for us joystick-fondlers.  So let's wipe the cheesy residue from our fingertips and raise our controllers or keyboards in unison, and toast to great gaming innovation.

Book Review - Brilliance

What do you get when mixing one part thriller, one part suspense, with a tad of Sci-Fi frosting?  Well, in a word: Brilliance.

STORY:

It's 1980 and along with bad hair, negotiable music, and super loud clothes, came children—approximately one percent of the population—who have an edge over normal society.  These children or "Brilliants" seem to have a knack for understanding data, picking up patterns, and seeing the world in numbers—much like Neo from the Matrix.  Among these Brilliants is man named Nick Cooper, a Federal Agent, who has quite the ability to hunt down his fellow Abnormals.  His latest target is the most wanted man in America, but catching this Brilliant comes at a cost.  Nick will have to turn his back on everything he believes in and loves just to get close.  Heightened perceptions, bombings, strategic moves, and a bit of Sci-Fi ensue.

"I caught my first tube today...Sir."

"Cut!  Damn it.  You have to let it go, Mr. Reeves.  Now let's try the scene again...maybe with 

a little less Johnny Utah?"

THOUGHTS:

Marcus Sakey's (Author) Brilliance can sit on Sci-Fi shelves, but its main genres are suspense and thriller.  Yes, there are "special" people running around, doing extraordinary things, but it isn't as crazy as you think.  The story stays grounded throughout most of the book, offering a plot more along the lines of any crime drama out there with twists and turns at every corner.  Nick Cooper (protagonist) is attempting to catch the number one terrorist in America and this is his story of how far he'll go to get the job done.  Does that mean Sci-Fi enthusiasts will hate it?  Not at all.  Just be prepared for a story that doesn't contain flying spaceships, talking droids, or even hover-boards.  This story takes place today with a slightly different past then we have now.  And these "Brilliants" aren't powered like the Justice League either.  Superman isn't giving orders while flying around the Earth, and Batman isn't saving Gotham by fighting large crocodiles and silly clowns.

"Man, one little shot of Kryptonite juice and you'd think I laser-beamed Lois' parents.  You know, we haven't flown together 

in months.  It's always, 'I have a headache, Clark' or 'I'm not in mood, Clark.'"

"I know, buddy.  I know.  Let's get you back to the cave to sober up.  Whad'ya say?" 

POWERS:

You might have seen the description of the novel and read about a female Brilliant who can become invisible.  First off, get Susan Storm out of your head, because she doesn't have the power of invisibility—it's more along the lines of cleverness.  In fact all the traits of every Brilliant are just increased brainpower—heightened intelligence if you would.  She's invisible because she can map out ahead of time where people are going to look or where cameras will be recording, and she'll happen to be somewhere else—hence "invisible."  Nick Cooper, on the other hand, has the ability to see patterns in body movement, which gives him an advantage when reading people or when in a fight (If you know exactly where a fist will be thrown, hopefully you're smart enough to not put your face in its way).  So if you want to see people with X-ray vision, dudes donning capes, or women with magical lassos, your best bet is to pick up a comic book.  But…before you go stomping off like a six year old that didn't get the new Barbie, there's much more to this story than its description.

"I hear you, but too many words confuse me.  Wait, crap.  Did I just say that out loud?"

WHY THE ABILITIES & ALTERNATE PAST?

The story begins in the 1980's with these "special" children being born and the nation becoming fascinated, yet scared of these abilities all at the same time.  Imagine if there were people who could write the code to break into any security or see the stock market as a simple game of numbers.  Any government would see them as a threat, but also as a great asset to have on their side.  And this is where the political undertones of the narrative come in.  Marcus Sakey may have written these Brilliants into the story because one: a little Sci-Fi is always fun to include in a plot.  And two: they're an easy way to avoid using a race (or religion) from today as a terrorist organization.  If an author happens to use people that actually exist, it will likely piss off a few—if not many—readers in the process.  But changing our history and making the conflict Normals versus Abnormals, you have an instant crowd pleaser, because everyone is fictional.  Is the book still somewhat political?  Sure.  There are underlining issues weaved throughout the text, making you analyze our own current situation, but only if you're really looking for them.

"I already told you, Bruce, I'm sober enough to fly.  Now will you please get that light out of my face."

MORE THOUGHTS:

Do yourself a favor and at least read part one of Brilliance.  If you hate it after those first hundred pages, then go ahead and chuck it at the book seller.  But you won't do that, because the story gets turned up to eleven by that point.  Part two begins the first change in the typical plot and it won't be the last.  When you first start reading the book, you'll think you have an inkling of where the story is headed, but where it ends is somewhere you'll never expect.

Brilliance also has a ton of heart.  The narrative has a lot to say about family values and the lengths you'll go to keep your children safe.  But having a family you love comes at a cost.  It's the perfect opportunity for someone to control your actions.  And this aspect of the tale brings immense depth to the main protagonist.  Nick Cooper not only wants to do what's right for his country, but he also wants to do what's right for his family and friends.  And when one contradicts the other, what choice do you make?

"Alright, same terms as last time:  Whoever loses has to dress up as Harley and spend an evening in Joker's cell."

"It's not as bad as you think, Bruce.  Last time, Joker, spent the entire night snuggled in my arms, talking about you."

CONCLUSION:

Brilliance could have been written without most of the Sci-Fi elements, but having the story contain a futuristic vibe, helps add uniqueness and charm to what would be an otherwise everyday thriller.  With suspense, humor, great dialogue, fantastic writing, and political undertones, this novel will make you turn the pages until there are no more words to be read.  Here's hoping the second book has just as many surprises as the first.

4 out of 5 stars (minus a star for a slightly slow / cliché Part One)

DVD Movie Review - Riddick (2013)

Coasting on fumes from The Chronicles of Riddick, 2013's Riddick tries to get back to the roots of Pitch Black, by slashing the budget down to a third, reducing the scope, slimming the cast, and telling a tale almost exactly like the original.

STORY:

Richard B. Riddick is left to die on a planet only referred to as "Not Furya."  With a sprained ankle, a huge storm, and local creatures looking to tear his flesh off, he assembles a plan: send out a distress signal and wait to see who turns up.  One arriving ship holds a team with a tie to his past, and the other, holds men looking to chop his head off.  Will Riddick be able to overcome both mercenary teams, or will this be the end to everyone's favorite Furyan?  Poisons, funky animals, silliness from Sackhoff, broken noses, and decapitations ensue.

"Alright, all normal human beings move to the left.  Mr. Bautista, you move further to the 

right to balance out the photo.  Perfect!"

THOUGHTS:

Riddick's cult likability has recessed in the past years following Chronicles, but with Pitch Black as an anchor, and the video game: Escape from Butcher Bay, the character has managed to stay alive and even churn out a third movie.  If for some reason you haven't seen either of the previous films in the series, then there is no need for you to see the third.  Fans of Pitch Black will appreciate the throwbacks to the original, and may even be tossed a few "Easter eggs" along the way.

The movie starts out slow as Diesel portrays a man trying to survive on his own in a wilderness that's likely to kill any normal human being.  A brief five minute flashback of the Necromongers (basically Karl Urban as an intergalactic cab driver) is tossed in, and then the plot moves forward, absolutely forgetting the whole Necromonger incident.  So if you tuned in to see a continuation of that story (Riddick as king Necromonger) than you might as well write it yourself, because there's nothing here.  This film is basically a one-shot, self-contained story.  Something you'd see in comic books.  But that doesn't matter, because you're really here to gaze upon the Diesel: his charms, his dashing good looks, and even his fatherly traits—which come into play after he acquires a new CG pet.

Due to the restricted budget, the producers ripped out the Xenomorph's mini-mouth 

and added an Abe Lincoln chin. 

Then the Calvary shows up in the form of two ships full of mercenaries.  One happens to be a team, complete with matching outfits, led by the Boss (Matt Nable) and second in command, Dahl (Katee Sackhoff).  The other team is led by Santana (Jordi Molla) and can be considered the movie's misfits.  Will you need to remember everyone's name and their team?  Nope.  They're just fodder for Riddick to slice through as the movie progresses.  Still the animosity from the opposing mercenary teams can be quite hilarious to watch at times.

The film keeps the story line simple and the dialogue even simpler.  If you're into grungy Sci-Fi films with humorous flair, then this will be your movie.  It carries almost the same plot as the original Pitch Black, but several story elements have been elevated.  So how do you outdo the first film?  Well, by increasing the number of mercenaries for one.  Take the amount of one ship, up to two, and then introduce not one, but two creatures to the mix.  And—BAM—a whole new movie.

"Okay, now...everyone look over here and stare."

"What's my line again?"

"We've already told you, Katee, you don't have a line.  Just try and look intimidating or something."

ACTING:

The mercenaries all fit their respected roles.  Jordi Molla (Santana) plays the basic dick-bag of the film, only becoming slimier as the minutes roll on, but offering numerous occasions to laugh.  Matt Nable as Boss spews level-headed dialogue and strategic ideas to further the plot, and Dave Bautista fills out all the adrenaline and sarcastic comments required.  Vin Diesel plays the character, Riddick, as only Vin Diesel can—badass mixed with a side of psychotic—and then there's Katee Sackhoff.

Katee Sackhoff had such a memorable role in Battlestar Galactica that her acting here almost looks childish.  Whether it’s from bad directing, terrible dialogue, no love for the role, or just plain laziness…everything she does, especially the over-acting facial expressions, will make you cringe.  But can you blame her?  She happens to be the only female in the story, whose part seems to be written by a teenage pervert.  Let’s start first with her name: Dahl.  Pronounced "doll" throughout the film, taking viewers back to the 1930's when gangsters used the same pet name for women.  Then there are her lines, which are unbelievably Oscar worthy.  Puking fantastic garbage like, "I don't f--k guys," only makes her character that much more extraordinary.  And to top it off, Dahl gets the cliché shower scene to help round out her uniqueness.  Sackhoff seems to be an afterthought in the film and that's just a waste of a perfectly good Sci-Fi actress.

"You're kidding right..."

"We are paying you, Ms. Sackhoff."

"Alright, but personally, I think that line sucks."

Now, you're probably wondering, "So who's the best actor in the film?"  Are you sitting down?  It's the CG pet Riddick raises.  The animated animal might not have the cutest smile (think a rabid Doberman pinscher had sex with a hyena), but the interactions with Diesel are some of the film's best representations of humanity.  And when there's a turning point in the story for the pet, you'll feel more sympathy for the CG dog, then for any other character.

END OF A TRILOGY?

If you’re looking for full resolve of Riddick's character—like finally settling down, surrounded by a white picket fence with nasty other-world creatures playing on the front lawn—then keep on looking.  The story here ties up its own loose ends before the credits roll, but it looks like our anti-hero might have more tales up his sleeve.

"Fine, Mr. Diesel, you can keep the goggles and the plastic bone.  Now will you please stop

sulking over there, and come back and shoot this scene."

CONCLUSION:

Riddick keeps the esthetic and familiar feel of Pitch Black, but still manages to add a tiny bit of appeal for fans of the series.  The story is simplistic with humorous tones, contains the perfect dingy Sci-Fi atmosphere, and has Diesel, shining, as the Furyan convict.  There's nothing more you need in a low-budget Sci-Fi action film.  Except maybe a good female lead, or better dialogue, but hey you can't win them all…right?

2 1/2 out of 5 stars (minus two and a half stars for repeated plot and wasted Sackhoff)

DVD Movie Review - Don Jon

What better way to start off the New Year than with a bang, or in this movie's case: several bangs, peppered with stops to the good old-fashioned porn machine.

STORY:

Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) just so happens to be your typical Italian guy with only a few loves in his life: his body, pad, ride, family, church, boys, girls, and of course…his porn.  Spending most of his time in clubs searching for the perfect "dime" or ten—scaling women from one to ten—he's never found misses right, until Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) walks into his life.  Jon instantly falls in love, but there's just one smidgen of a problem.  Jon loves his porn too—no, like really loves his porn.  He can't go a few hours without it and Barbara hates guys that look at porn.  So Jon promises her, he'll never surf the web for porn again.  But will his addiction get the better of him, or will Barbara change Jon for good?  Nightclubs, women as sex symbols, money shots, heavy makeup, cursing, church, and porn ensue.

Work out intensity can be doubled.  As shown here, facial muscles can also be fully 

strained during weight training.

THOUGHTS ON DON JON'S PORN:

If the story above didn't clue you in, this is not a children's movie.  Even though Jon describes exactly what he likes to see and not see in porn, this doesn't mean you (the viewer) won't be watching a few choice scenes yourself.  But don't worry, beyond what can already be seen on some cable networks, there isn't enough to make the film rating "adult."  Most of the actual porn scenes are cut in certain ways to keep you guessing.  So if you're the type, watching this only for the porn aspect, you're better off just heading to the Internet for the real thing.

Gentlemen, unless you and your better half have already had conversations on favorite positions and what you do during your "alone time"—or why you keep so many tissues around the house—it's probably best not renting this for date night.  The upside is all the porn and awkward situations are viewed and talked about in humorous ways.  So if the subject of porn is laughable to you, then this movie will make you crack up…at least for the first hour or so.

"This is my house.  Just because you're wearing a wife-beater with a gold chain, doesn't 

mean you can fit into these pants.  Capisce?!"

BUT IS THERE A STORY?

For any piece of literature or film to be considered a story there has to characters, a plot, and conflict.  And even though this movie might be viewed as a comedy—just making fun of Italians and porn—it actually has a story.  But unfortunately, the fun is all had before the actually story kicks in.

When the movie begins, Jon will tell you how he sees his life and then transitions into why porn is so much better than actual sex.  No, it isn't because he can't get laid—please, he's Italian, so he's already good looking and a great lover—it's for several other reasons.  For instance, as Jon puts it, you can't die from watching porn.  That’s technically accurate, considering STD's only come from real sex.  But what if a pilot's flying at thirty thousand feet and decides he wants to watch some porn on his iPad, instead of paying attention to his direction or gauges?

Then Jon meets Barbara and all hell breaks loose in his life.  On top of not being able to watch porn, she also won't give him any bedroom time unless he does things for her.  So it's either, he ruins more of his pants (hilarious scene) or goes back to school, and lets her meet his family and friends.  And if you’re Jon with Scarlett Johansson rubbing against your crotch, you tend to forget your name and say okay to anything.

"And I'm gonna meet your family, friends, and we're gonna get married in six months."  *rub, rub, rub, kiss*

 "Now give me twenty bucks, so I can slap more makeup on my face."

SO HE'S ITALIAN?

Only the Italian populace will understand some of the subtle nods toward the culture.  Repeat: only the Italian populace.  But that doesn't make the first hour of the movie any less funny.  The Italian stereotype: necklace and cross appearing in almost every scene; multiple wife-beaters; slicked-back hair; an over-the-top accent; and ridiculous cursing while driving to church.  Now, church—mainly confession—plays a huge role as Jon takes multiple trips to absolve his sins.  And each time he visits the priest, it's like a weekly update on everything he's done wrong.

"You hear this horn?  You better start driving or I'll come over there 

and slap you so hard, your Mother will feel it."

ACTING:

The reason acting hasn't been mentioned yet is because Joseph Gordon-Levitt is at the top of his game—even if his accent sounds a little funny at first, you get used to it.  Johansson mimics Jersey girls with the perfect crappy attitude, while Julianne Moore, essentially, plays herself as a hippie.  The return of Tony Danza is great as Jon's father and Glenne Headly falls easily into the role of the loving, yet clingy Italian mother.  Brie Larson doesn't have much to do, until the end, when she says the most important thing in the film—filling the role of Silent Bob.

FLOW TROUBLE:

What essentially starts as a comedy, morphs into a drama/romance story, after a specific turn of events.  This is when the movie feels a little uneven.  After about the first hour, Jon's dialogue changes, and his problems lose their humorous flavor and become addictions.  Some say a character must grow or evolve for a story to be complete, but there's way too much change, completely over-hauling the main character and instantly making the movie feel different.  Does it hurt the story?  A little.  Should you not watch because of this?  No, the humor in the beginning alone is enough to have Don Jon grace your TV set.

"You know, for all the advancement in technology...I can't see one frigging star 

through this telescope."

CONCLUSION:

Don Jon is a man's movie, but also a flick that women with a sense of humor will love.  The ladies are utilized as sex symbols throughout, porn is shoved in your face for a laugh, and Italians have the stereotypical light shone upon them.  It's everything a teenager to thirty-something guy will appreciate.  And being Italian will only increase the hilarity.  If you find yourself watching porn regularly, going to the gym, and then ending the night at a club in hopes of bedding the other sex, then Don Jon will be right up your alley.  You may even have to own it.  Just remember the last thirty minutes morphs into a romance film.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars (minus a star and a half for an uneven ending)

SIDE NOTE:

Banshee Season 2 starts this Friday, January 10th on Cinemax.  So prepare for more arbitrary sex, outrageous fights, hilarious action, unbelievable twists, and crazy Sheriff Hood antics.  P&P's first season review.