Saturday, June 28, 2014

Destiny Alpha: Impressions


NOTE:
Bungie, the team that created the little unknown game called Halo, has teamed up with Activision's half a billion smackaroos, to bring you Destiny: the love child of an MMORPG and FPS.  The following impressions are based on the Alpha form of Destiny.  And any or all of these thoughts and concerns may have already been fixed or could be in the process of being tweaked.

"That wizard came from the moon."
Cut!  Dammit.  Could someone go get a glass of water and some aspirin?  Dinklage has 
been drinking again.

I may not be the fastest quick-draw in galaxy, the most proficient with a machine gun, or even have the slightest idea of how to follow quest markers or bring up my personal hover bike.  But there is one thing that I can do better than anyone in the galaxy…and that, my friends, is dance.  Yes, when it comes to busting a move in the most awkward of places like in the midst of battle, you can be rest assured my booty shaking is the best in the galaxy.  Why?  Because a galaxy without dance is a galaxy where Kevin Bacon and I, can never, ever belong.  But I've gotten ahead of myself.  Allow me to start from the beginning.

A few minutes into Destiny, I was already on my way to creating a perfect lookalike Warlock: a charming gentleman with blue skin, white hair and yellow war-paint.  Different facial choices seemed scarce and the scary 90's hairstyles left much to be desired, but the gorgeous graphics brought tears to my eyes.  Never before has a gamer been able to create such ugliness in gorgeous 1080p.  And after I had my perfect avatar—one who would surly dance his way into every female guardian's pants—I was dropped willy-nilly into old Russia and left to find my way.  With rifle in hand and absolutely no idea what to do or where to go, I began running.  And no more than a few moments later, my beautiful face became the finish line of many enemy bullets.  (In the Alpha, enemies came in two forms: the Hive and the Fallen.  Besides a different set of attacks and weapons, they're mainly the same and can be dispatched of with a steady stream of pew-pew-pew)

"Hey, guys, check this move out!  I bet you never saw anything like this before."
"Can it, rookie.  Unbelievable, the first thing these idiots do when they get here is shake their junk in front of everyone and everything.  I saw a Titan rookie, yesterday, humping the galactic trashcan."

THE WHOLE MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER THINGIE:
Some people may dislike MMO's because of the time investment, monthly payment (which Destiny doesn't have), or the need to make friends.  But Destiny has solved those problems.  It's a game that can appeal to the casual/mature gamer and the MMO fan that has way too much free time.  How?  Well, by allowing a gamer to pop in and out for as little or as much time as they want.  Since the player has multiple gaming options (multiplayer, strikes, missions, etc.) with rewards, you won't have to prepare for an eight hour session of boar killing in a forest to raise your level.  Twenty minutes may be all you have time for and you'll still be able to increase your stats.  Destiny also creates "Fireteams" consisting of other players to help you out.  And the first time I happened to look to my left and see another player—someone I've never met and will probably never see again—beside me, chopping down enemies…it felt awesome.  Like I was part of something bigger than just my story.  Like I was part of a living world.  That's the secret to Destiny.  It doesn't force you to become friends with anyone or to team up, but if it happens along the way, you'll appreciate the help.
 
"Psst.  Someone should really tell that idiot that dancing over there does NOT increase wizard powers."
"Nah.  He'll figure it out in a couple of days."

THE TOWER, CLASSES, MISSIONS, PUBLIC EVENTS, AND STRIKES:
Pushing through the Alpha's limited 8 levels as a Warlock (the Warlock is like a wizard dude with a gun) took around five hours.  And now you're thinking, "Well, my good man, did you also level up a Hunter (a quick-on-their-feet dude with a gun) or a Titan (a heavily armored dude with a gun)?"  No, Sir.  And here's why: aside from their special moves and über-special moves, there really seemed to be no difference between characters.  And running around doing the same missions over again, just in a different pixelated skin, seemed like absolutely no fun.  So I decided to stick with my Warlock and max out his abilities, and then head over to multiplayer.

After the first 20 minute mission, which establishes a small chunk of Destiny's story, you're sent to the Tower (Destiny's galactic coffee shop filled with emo guardians and gun aficionados) to regroup.  In the Tower, you learn how to obtain new gear (helmets, gauntlets, chest/leg armor, guns and the like), find new quests, upgrade your ship (which seemed unnecessary, at least where the Alpha is concerned), buy/sell rewards, and if you're inclined, how to add friends to your Fireteam. 

So after having a galactic cup of coffee and watching people dance, wave, point, and sit (emotes mapped to the D-pad) you're free to do whatever you want.  The only location in the Alpha was Earth—mainly old Russia—where small missions like discover this cave and kill that idiot can be found.  Also, if you run around doing nothing for a while, you might happen upon a public event.  This is a randomly generated quest that starts in a public area and includes other people who happened to be nearby.  I was part of two public events.  My first had me all alone defending and downloading information from a large orb that fell from the sky, while fending off waves of enemies.  Needless to say, I died quickly and cursed up a storm.  The second public event had me teamed with two strangers and we won, leading to an impromptu dance-off in the snow.  I, of course, won with unmatched galactic moves, but the judging is subjective.  Two public events seemed like enough so I moved on.

"I don't get it.  Every time a match starts this idiot just dances the whole time."
"Yeah, but have we lost?"
"No, but you're not seriously considering that's helping?"
"Hey, I'm just saying.  And anyway, he's Jerkin_It24:7's cousin or something.  Best to just leave him alone."

Strikes come in all types of difficulty and length.  My first had me dispatch some wizard A-hole that the galactic community deemed unfit to cast spells.  So I ran through claustrophobic hallways and oil refineries to slay the beast, and did so, on my own.  I therefore, became a level three Warlock and was able to wipe my own arcane ass.  After another strike of dispatching the same enemies in a different area of snowy Russia, I finally reached level seven Warlock and the last and biggest strike in the Alpha became available. 

If you do partake in Destiny, you should know that Strikes can take a while and you should allocate your time accordingly.  This level 6 Strike required a three guardian Fireteam and lasted a tad over an hour.  But the awesome part is I never had to make any friends or worry about who was coming with me.  Destiny teamed me up with two Fireteam buddies and no effort on my part was required.  I only remember one of my fellow characters because her name was unforgettable: YeastyBeaver, a title that holds a special meaning in my heart.  Up until she and my other Fireteam member left me right in the middle of battle.  But here's the silver lining.  I never even noticed, because Destiny smoothly replaced them with two other pixelated friends.  How this happens in real time without the slightest hiccup is beyond me.  But it worked.  In fact, everything in the Alpha worked.  There wasn't one time where frame-rate dropped or a match didn't connect or someone happened to float past on an imaginary cloud.  And although I do enjoy the occasional glitch—because sometimes they're extremely frigging funny—not one thing went wrong the entire weekend I spent gorging myself on Destiny.

"Alright, watch this.  Awesome, right?"
"Do that one more time and I will beat you to death with my helmet."

THE CRUCIBLE AND CLASS DIFFERENCES:
After the humongous level 6 Strike and defeating its two ridiculously ammo-absorbing bosses, I danced.  But I not only danced because dancing comes natural.  I also danced because I'd achieved level 8 Warlock: the highest level that could be achieved in the Alpha.  I then took my ship over to the Tower to upgrade my armor and weapons.  The time had finally come to head over to the Crucible and test my fully maxed skills in multiplayer.  And being a level 8 Warlock was sure to earn me easy kills and awesome bragging rights.  It didn't take longer than a few seconds of Control (the only multiplayer option in the Alpha, where two teams of six attempt to hold three map points until time expires) to die repeatedly and realize I was way out of my league.  I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and say that if you were awesome in Halo's multiplayer, then you'll be kicking some ass in Destiny.

Destiny offers three weapon slots in multiplayer and regular play.  Primary (ex: machine gun, pistol), secondary (ex: sniper rifle, shotgun), and heavy (ex: rocket launcher).  Primary ammo can deplete if you're not running around collecting it.  Secondary ammo is scarce.  And heavy ammo is dropped in about once or twice a match, giving you a limited amount of time to get it.  And it's in the same spot for everyone, which leads to frantic gun fights for just two missiles. 

"We claim this land for truth, justice and--"
"Psst.  Say dancing."
"What?"
"Dancing.  And dancing.  I just love dancing."
"Can someone find Jasper's medication?  He seems to need an extra shot."

Each different Guardian class (Warlock, Titan, Hunter) gets a certain kind of grenade that does the same thing: hurt the opposition.  And then there are the special moves: the Warlock having the ability to throw a devastating arc of light, obliterating everything in front of them.  The Titan obliterates everything around them and the Hunter gets three special bullets in a pistol that have a one-shot kill.  If you happen to choose Warlock or Titan and see a glowing Hunter approaching with a pistol…run.  Run as quickly as you can because they will put you down faster than you can say WTF.  But there was nothing more thrilling than being Super Charged (ready to explode with your special ability) and seeing three members of the opposing team huddled around one control point.  Running into the fray only to surprise them with annihilation is as rewarding and as satisfying as it sounds.  And damn fun too.  It's just too bad the cool-down times for these abilities are extremely long.  You may only be able to use them twice in one match.  This may change as you obtain higher levels, but since the Alpha only allowed up to level eight, it kept your abilities limited.  The same went for the Warlock grenade, which also had a slow cool-down that only allowed usability every couple of minutes.  And in multiplayer, every second counts.

Two different multiplayer maps were offered.  Old Russia—again.  And the moon.  The moon was refreshing because of the vehicles thrown on the map.  The vehicle handling and weapon firing is exactly what you'd expect from the Halo creators.  But that doesn't mean rocketing around the moon and running over enemies isn't fun.  Also having two vehicles battling it out in the middle of the map is hilarious and exciting.  I happened to spend around 14 hours with Destiny and about 9 of those in the multiplayer.  And when the Alpha ended, I instantly felt the need to go back in and have more fun.

"...So then right in the middle of fending off this Fallen Knight, he blurts out, 'That wizard came from the moon.'"
"Holy crap.  What'd you do?"
"First I got shot in the face, because it caught me off guard.  But as soon as I killed everyone I turned the frigging Bot in for a refund.  Stupid machine almost cost me my life."

CONCERNS:
Boredom: After finishing a few smaller missions (the go here and kill that, type stuff) they became really stale.  Hopefully in the final version there are many different varieties of public events, missions and strikes.  If not, then after about a month, multiplayer will be the only thing keeping people from ditching the game.  And that's only if multiplayer has plenty of maps and allows tweaks for custom matches.  The game showed six different options for multiplayer, but as only one was available, we'll have to hope the other five are just as entertaining as Control. 

Custom ships: Why?  If there's no arena for spaceship dogfights or hover-bike races, then why have the ability to customize them?  Hopefully, Bungie adds these areas to the final game, because online races and dogfights in space would be a nice addition to blowing people's faces off.

Voice Over: The popular Peter Dinklage, known for such works as Game of Thrones and…well, Game of Thrones, gets to add his unbelievably mundane voice to your bot companion.  The only voice you'll hear throughout the game, considering your character is a sad mute.  His voice work didn't faze me because most of the time it was drowned out in the middle of a fire fight, but when you do hear him, it's flat out forgettable.  It's a shame Bungie didn't use someone like Nolan North, or John DiMaggio, or any person with a tad more voice over experience. 

Maps and Icons: Pressing the touchpad slows your character down and shows your current objective.  But why not just have the objective icon remain on the screen until you get there?  It becomes a pain in the ass pressing that thing to see if you're going in the right direction.  And this feature slows down what should be a fast-paced game.  Now, if you're looking for a map, good luck.  The only one available in the Alpha was at the Tower.  Maybe maps of previously visited areas will be included at game release.  Maybe not.

"Oh my goodness--"
"Beautiful, right?"
"What?  No.  I let one slip in my suit during battle and now every time I move, a little more squeaks out.  And it's 
still putrid after three hours.  Can you smell it?"

CONCLUSION:
When Destiny was first announced all I saw was an always-online video game with Halo mechanics and a Mass Effect coat of paint.  Yet, everything about the Alpha was fun, beautiful (the view from the Tower is amazing), entertaining and fresh.  Could this be because gamers everywhere only had a weekend to partake?  Maybe.  But Destiny still made a believer out of me.  And do you know what that means?  Come Beta time I'll be dancing my way through every strike and multiplayer map available.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

DVD Movie Review - Enemy


Strap on your thinking caps, dust off your forensic kit, and find yourself a Sherlock Holmes pipe and magnifying glass, because Enemy is the type of film that requires a Batman sense of detection and scene by scene analysis.

STORY:
Adam (Jake Gyllenhaal), a frustrated teacher, spends his days rambling on about dictatorships and his nights having mundane sex with his girlfriend, Mary (Melanie Laurent).  And then Adam's life takes a turn for the worse when he watches a film recommended by a co-worker.  In that film is an actor named Anthony (also Jake Gyllenhaal) that looks exactly like him.  Behind everyone's back and against his better judgment, Adam decides to seek out Anthony in hope of discovering some answers.  Loud ominous drums, freaky sex clubs, coincidences, unfaithful husbands, worried wives, and humongous frigging spiders ensue.

"Hey...hey, Pal, it's alright.  I'm not gonna hurt ya.  I just wanted to say how damn good-looking you are."

THOUGHTS:
The majority of film enthusiasts will see Enemy in two ways.  Either as a complete masterpiece of cinema or…utter garbage.  But no matter what description you land on, you won't be able to deny how beautifully the movie is shot.  The film partners Gyllenhaal, once again with Prisoners' director, Denis Villeneuve.  If you enjoyed his use of natural light or noir framing in Prisoners, then you'll enjoy the same magic here in Enemy. 

Jake Gyllenhaal delivers masterful acting for both Adam and Anthony.  And when the film switches perspective between them, you'll get the feeling they're two completely different people.  Melanie Laurent, sadly, is underused in the film as just a sex toy.  You'll either find her yawning out of boredom or rolling between the sheets.  Sarah Gadon, who portrays Anthony's pregnant wife, Helen, displays fantastic emotions.  Her talent helps add depth and suspense to the somewhat confusing plot, but oddly, a fair amount of her scenes seem to involve dressing and undressing in front of the camera.  Isabella Rossellini pops in for a few voice messages along with a quick dinner scene, and a couple of hairy tarantulas stop by to make the viewer scratch their head.

Now you're probably thinking, "With great acting and beautiful cinematography, why would anyone think this is total garbage?"  Well, it comes down to personal preference.

Cut!  Dammit, Melanie.  You're supposed to look tired, not actually be tired.  Look at Jake, he
really looks like he's sleeping.  Jake, show her what I'm talking about.  Jake?  Jake?

IS THIS YOUR TYPE OF FILM?
Do you like your protagonist to have a one-track mind that's only looking to dispose of the bad guy and kill whatever happens to get in his way?  Do you enjoy films with silly plots and wild humor involving genitals, masturbation, or farts?  And above all, do you like your films to easily make sense after the credits roll?  Well…if you answered yes to any or all of those questions, then you should run as fast as you can in the opposite direction of Enemy.  This film requires a crap ton of analyzing and probably several viewings to nail down what the hell is going on.  It's also a very slow crawl with little dialogue up until Adam and Anthony finally meet, which happens about an hour into the film.  And if you're not the type of person with the patience for slow movies or ones that require a decoder ring, then go ahead and pop in The Notebook or Die Hard for the thousandth time, because no one in their right mind will blame you for just wanting to enjoy a movie.  Now, if you do want to turn this film into a science project, then hit play on Enemy and then grab a pencil and paper, because you may need to take a few notes.  But before settling down for a confusing tale, that will leave your mouth agape after the last scene, read the next section.  It'll include mild spoilers, but hopefully they'll prevent you from throwing your drink at the screen in disgust.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it anymore, okay?  So I like unicorns and faeries.  And having a
sexual fantasy including both is NOT a big deal."

WHAT TO PAY ATTENTION TO AND WTF?  SPIDERS?
This movie is riddled with such heavy symbolism, you'll wonder if it should just be viewed as a series of still slides over a projector, instead of moving pictures with sound and dialogue.  But fear not, P&P is here to guide you through the film's symbolic mess.

Usually in a movie, the first couple of minutes are light on story, enabling the viewer to settle their fingers into greasy popcorn and relieve some of the day's stresses.  But not here.  Nope.  Before the movie even begins, you'll hear a recorded message from Adam's mother and see a phrase pop up on the screen.  Pay attention to both, because women (including his mom) and how they're perceived by Adam play a large part in understanding the film's bigger theme.  And once Adam does come into view, pay attention to his references on patterns and what can happen to them.  Also…pay close attention to how Anthony's pregnant wife acts and how sad she becomes after meeting Adam for the first time.  Oh, and if it hasn't been mentioned already, pay attention…preferably to everything, especially the spiders and their webs.

Ah, yes, what about those spiders?  There are theories all over the Internet about what the spiders are and why they're included in the film.  Do not pay any attention to the jokers talking about aliens and body snatchers.  If you want a laugh, then by all means, read away.  But for the sake of sanity once the credits roll, the spiders—like everything else in the film—are just more symbols.  They have an underlining meaning to Adam and Anthony.  Now, you'll have to figure that out on your own, because we're not here to completely ruin your experience, only to guide you.  But remember, movies along with any art, is left for individual interpretation.  And this film leaves a whole heck of a lot to interpret.  You might even jump on the alien body snatcher bandwagon.  Hey…to each his own, right?

"I have no idea what this movie is about, but I'm in it.  And I will collect a paycheck even if it kills me."

CONCLUSION:
For some, Enemy will be a film that's too weighted down by symbolism with not enough story to fill in the gaps.  The scenes are shot beautifully.  The actors/actresses are wonderful.  But a slow plot and too much analysis, could take the entertainment right out of the experience.  Are you the type that enjoys a film that can be perceived from different angles and studied until your brain falls out?  Then Enemy will become one of your favorite movies.  If you would much rather have a movie entertain you with humor and action, then be prepared to slap anyone and everyone that recommends Enemy.  But no matter which type of movie-goer you are, one thing is for sure.  The last scene of this film will stick inside your head for a very, very long time.  Oh and if you have even the slightest form of arachnophobia…forget you even heard of this movie or read this review.  For realsies.

3 out of 5 Stars (add one star for the premise, the acting, and the cinematography)

Saturday, June 14, 2014

DVD Movie Review - The Lego Movie


The Lego Movie bursts onto the screen with more action, more color, more laughs, and more life than most animated features put together.

"Dammit, Diana!  Don't you dare snap a photo."
*click*
"If you're even thinking of putting that up on Facebook, I--"
"You'll what?  Uploading..."
"I will NOT be your friend anymore."

STORY:
Emmet Brickowoski (Chris Pratt) is your ordinary Lego-man construction worker that follows all the rules and has absolutely nothing special about him.  That's until his dull life leads him down a hole and forces him to become the key to saving the Lego universe from Lord Business (Will Ferrell).  Bat puns, movie parodies, political jokes, the Kragle, and the most ear-worming song ever created in the history of melodic sound, ensues.

"One more outburst from either of you, and I'm turning this thing around."

THOUGHTS:
Lego, a child's construction toy, gathered all the company’s executives and decided the time was nigh to create an hour and half commercial—otherwise known as a movie—to sell their product.  And somehow the stars aligned, a butterfly flapped its wings, a volcano erupted, and a gang of writers pulled an entire script out of their asses…essentially by staring at a plastic brick.  Holy crap.  But not only did they create a script worthy of laugh-out-loud hysterics, they also infused it with hilarious parodies, Lego's biggest licenses, a plot that's action-packed, and clever hints to a bigger picture (which you'll understand once you see the ending).  And it's all wrapped up in a heart-warming family tale.  Brilliant.

After a brief, slightly confusing prologue (as the movie progresses it becomes clear), you're thrust head first into Emmet's world and taken on a roller coaster ride of excitement that doesn't stop until the credits roll.  And before you hit play for your child and walk out of the room to do adult stuff like play video games or sleep, stop and spend a few moments with the Lego Movie, you'll be thankful you did.  See, the writers not only knew how outrageous a movie based on a plastic brick would be, but they also knew that an animated film doesn't only have to cater to eight year olds and under.  This movie is saturated with underlining jokes that only adults will get, and most of the time you'll find yourself laughing more than the kids.  From Star Wars, to the old west, to political jabs, the writing never holds back.  And that really is what makes the Lego movie so efficient.  It knows how ridiculous a movie-commercial for a toy line is and the film uses that to its advantage. 

Why not show some of the more embarrassing toy ideas in Lego's past and make a joke about it?  Why not introduce Superman alongside Gandalf?  Why not show how goofy a mix-matched set of blocks really looks?  And most importantly…Why not have Batman parody himself throughout the entire movie?  The ammo for all these laughs is available.  The writers just had to know how to use it.  And they knocked it out of the park.

"Hahahaha...and right after I give them what they want, I'll slaughter every last one of them."
"That's a great plan, Sir, but why?"
"Why?  Because that's what bad guys do!  Now, go get me a coffee and don't forget about 
the non-fat soy milk.  It helps with my bowel movements."

THE VOICE ACTING:
The only way to create a Lego movie is to go all out by gathering top list actors.  Bolstering down Neeson, Freeman, Ferrell, Arnett, and the like is no easy task.  And each and every actor/actress doesn't hold back.  They throw everything they have into their respected roles, making the movie that much more enjoyable. 

The whole story rests on Chris Pratt's shoulders as he's the unlucky but likable protagonist.  Pratt delivers over-the-top dialogue with humorous flair in almost every line.  Will Ferrell was made for the roll of Lord Business.  He breathes comedic life into a tyrant without making you hate his guts.  Elizabeth Banks plays her best role to date.  You won't even recognize her as the leading lady, Wyldstyle, because of how much energy she injects into the character.  Morgan Freeman is solid as the all-knowing Vitruvius, and Liam Neeson shows his silly side by portraying Good cop/Bad cop.  But the star of the film rests with Will Arnett as Bats.  Whether Batman is attempting to throw his batarangs without any skill or is singing a song about being an orphan, he steals every scene.

"Emmet's right...I mean, he's an idiot, but sometimes even idiots have good ideas."
"Thanks, Batman."
"No problem, kid.  Now, go make me a sandwich."

WHO'LL HATE IT?
Adults that think animated features are those brief intermissions where a soft drink, popcorn, and assorted candies are singing, will probably be the same adults that do not put the Lego movie in their queue.  If you're a parent that has been wounded many times by the Lego brick to the foot, then you might have better things to do than watch this film.  Any parent that has had to listen to "Everything is awesome" sung by their child a thousand times in the six minutes following the film, will have nothing but loathing for this movie.  And finally, parents that were forcefully dragged to the toy store by their children after a dozen straight viewings to buy every piece of Lego adorning the shelves, might have a tough time digesting this film.

"Hey, I thought Batman didn't have time for a--"
"Mind your business, Kid.  It's not my fault I'm blessed with money, cool toys, and devastating good looks."

CONCLUSION:
With an amazing story, top-notch actors and actresses, parodies from across the board, Batman, and a child's favorite building toy, The Lego Movie crosses the commercial boundary and becomes an actual fun lighthearted film.  If animated features or toys in general don't appeal to the child within you, then you might want to handle The Lego Movie as if it's toxic waste.  For everyone else, The Lego Movie will spark creativity, laughter, and long forgotten childhood memories.  Just be prepared to run out to the store as soon as the movie ends to buy the kids a Lego kit or ten, because you'll never hear the end of it.  (A prepared parent will already have a Lego set ready and waiting before the film even starts.)  But no matter your age or plastic universe from which you hail, The Lego Movie will easily fit into any movie-goer's permanent collection.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a ½ star for having to buy Lego sets after viewing)

Saturday, June 7, 2014

DVD Movie Review - Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit


Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit leaves the Clancy novels behind and reboots the franchise with a fresh, likable lead.  Unfortunately, the movie travels down the overused action road of other spy films.

STORY:
Jack Ryan (Chris Pine), a bright young college student, joins the marines when the events of 9/11 affect him.  Ten years later, after serving in Afghanistan, Ryan falls in love with a doctor named Cathy Muller (Keira Knightley), while secretly being courted by Thomas Harper (Kevin Costner) of the CIA.  After becoming part of Harper's team, Ryan discovers a Russian plot to attack America and sink the American dollar.  After being whisked away to the motherland, he comes to find out his days of sitting behind a desk are over and he's now a full-blown, gun-toting field operative.  Suspicious taxis, stolen dogs, unbelievable room renovations, light bulb torture, and bad cell connections ensue.

"...so then I said, 'Up yours, Mr. Spock!  I'll fly this frigging ship into the frigging sun, and there 
ain't a damn thing you can do about it.'"

THOUGHTS:
Shadow Recruit is not a bad spy film.  In fact, it resides in the upper echelons of acting, story and character.  The problem lies in all the films that have come before it.  Have you seen a kick-ass spy fighting in close quarters?  Yep.  Have you seen car chases before?  Hmm...yep.  Have you seen a bad guy being evil for the sake of being evil with little or no background story revealed?  Sadly...yes.  Well, then you've practically seen Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit.  What you haven't seen is Chris Pine expertly playing the part of kick-ass spy.  And that's really the only ace in the hole the film has…besides Superman's dad being his mentor of course.

The beginning of the movie does a great job developing the lead character's goals, mistakes, and desires.  And starting with him being affected by 9/11 is a creative way to bring the series up to date and attract a younger audience to an older character.  But after all the conspiracy theories and traumatic war events, the film unleashes action sequences that feel stale considering the gigantic amount of similar movies before it.  During one sequence of events, the movie even resembles The Americans television show.  Which poses a question: Should the Russians be the bad guy?  The 80's ended decades ago.  Are we to believe evil lurks behind each and every one of those hilarious driving videos and clever Putin memes?  Maybe...maybe not.

"Holy crap.  Spicy tacos and whiskey do NOT mix."

Now, if you're the type expecting a full-on Jason Bourne experience, then you might be a tad disappointed.  Jack Ryan isn't a Johnny Martial-arts.  He's an analyst caught up in field operations.  So the first hour is back story, conspiracy theories, unintelligible banking-funds dialogue, and relationship problems.  Followed by a few dramatic action sequences and then more analyzing.  The good thing is once the action does start rolling, the film smartly decides to not just have the hero save the world, but also have a personal victory for him to overcome.  This allows the audience to relate to Ryan and helps escalate tension and suspense. 

"I couldn't stand it anymore...I love you.  And I'll always love you--"  
CUT!  This just isn't working.  Let's move them out into the rain where it'll be more dramatic.

THE ACTING:
First off, if you don't like Chris Pine, then there's really no reason to see this film.  Even if you've read all the Clancy novels and Jack Ryan is your favorite character of all time, because there are still only a few similarities to the books.  The movie, instead, creates a charismatic, gun-wielding marine veteran that has the chops to go up against Bond or Bourne, but will most likely get taken out by either.  Pine is the perfect actor for the reboot though, and you'll definitely enjoy the movie more if he's on your favorite actor list.  His delivery of dialogue and emotional reactions to the world around him are superb.  It's just too bad the Ryan character has been slightly watered-down and Bourne-updated for today's audiences.

Keira Knightley spends most of her time worrying.  But not about the end of the world or Russia trying to conquer the USA.  She's more worried that her love-bear might be cheating.  So she basically becomes the nagging and interfering girlfriend.  The one you told not to show up at your work because you know…you're working.  But she does so anyway and now you have to explain yourself and of course, balance work, her emotions, and the end of the world.  She does work through these stereotypical problems though, but there is a little matter of facial expressions.  It seems her jaw decided to have a mind of its own while filming.  During her close-ups you'll see her mouth deform, twist, and bend every which way that isn't humanly possible.  It's surprising the director didn't see this and attempt to lump her over the head a few times to correct these facial spasms.  Speaking of the director…

"Cut."  
"But Mr. Branagh, you've been staring for fifteen minutes and--"
"Shut up and rewind that for review.  I think my left eye twitched."

Kenneth Branagh plays Viktor Cherevin, the resident film baddie.  He broods, and tenses, and broods, and shoots things, and then broods some more.  Branagh's Russian sounds superb, at least to a non-Russian reviewer, but he really didn't add too much to the plot.  And that would be fine, if the film didn't ask you to care for him.  The ending tries to show a man grief stricken and depressed, and asks you to feel compassion.  But with little or no backstory, his last scene will probably make you laugh before you cry.

Kevin Costner is currently the all American dad.  He even helped raise an alien from Krypton once.  There is no one more ideal for the role of Thomas Harper, also known as Jack Ryan's CIA father figure.  The banter between Ryan and Harper becomes the film's slight humor relief and their scenes together are the most memorable.  Nonso Anozie from Game of Thrones fame and the Dracula TV series makes an appearance to show his awesome size and friendly demeanor.  And just about everyone else is cannon fodder that could and should be fired into a brick wall just for the sake of action and comedy.

"No...see, I don't think you understand the influence I have in Hollywood.  You know I 
died for Superman, right?"

CONCLUSION:
Contained within Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit is an abundance of technical banking mumbo-jumbo, minor plot holes, spy movie clichés, and the extremely puzzling question: Does Russia really make sense as the bad guy?  If you think drama or espionage is completely boring and movies like Step Up are where it's at, then forget all about Jack Ryan.  But if you're in the mood for a little movie magic with Chris Pine and Kevin Costner showing you how it's done, then feel free to rent.  Either way, movie-goers looking for a solid spy thriller with a top-notch leading man are safe within this film's slightly unoriginal arms.

3.5 out of 5 Stars (minus 1 star for the action clichés and a ½ star for Keira’s jaw)