DVD Movie Review - Fading Gigolo

Fading Gigolo is a film written and directed by John Turturro, but it can easily be wedged into any Woody Allen collection.

STORY:

Fioravante (John Turturro) works only two days a week at a local flower shop in New York.  His friend Murray (Woody Allen) owns a bookstore that's about to close.  And between the two of them, they barely have a couple nickels to rub together.  So Murray, the opportunist, uses his rambling to accidentally start a new business.  See, Murray's dermatologist, Dr. Parker (Sharon Stone), wants to have a ménage a trois with her best friend, Selima (Sofia Vergara).  And they just can't seem to find the right man.  Murray jumps at the problem and tells Dr. Parker that he knows a guy.  So who’s the guy?  Well…the guy happens to be his not-so-good-looking friend Fioravante, who only knows how to fix a bouquet of flowers.  Soon after, Murray becomes the pimp that can afford expensive sofas and Fioravante becomes the whore with a heart.  Hasidic Jews, far-fetched plots, Woody rambling, book sniffing, and obnoxious hats ensue.

"Look...isn't she purdy with her wittle, wittle, lips, and her--"

"Please, shut up.  You're ruining the moment."

THOUGHTS:

A quick read of the above and you already know the premise behind the movie is ridiculous.  Could two women that look like Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara actually have a problem finding a real man?  Then to add to the nuttiness, the real man turns out to be a Kramer look-a-like, named John Turturro.  Could anything like that happen in real life?  Probably not.  But it's the movies, so it's best to let the outlandish idea go and enjoy the story behind all the foolishness.  John Turturro as a ladies man?  Sure.  Woody Allen as his pimp?  Even better.  The quirkiness is what makes this movie special.  So if you can't get passed either of those two actors, then you might be better off watching the Amazing Spider-Man 2 add numerous villains and ruin a franchise.

Now, if you're thinking Fading Gigolo is nothing but a comedy, you'd be dead wrong.  It begins as a funny romp about two friends that are in over their head.  But halfway through, the film's true identity creeps in and you'll find yourself watching a love story which borrows the old cliché: you want what you can't have.  That's right.  If you thought Fading Gigolo is all goofiness and laughs, then you're definitely going to be caught off guard.  Sure, Woody Allen remains the film's funny side, but after Turturro's character meets Avigal (Vanessa Paradis) it turns into a love story with stolen glances and shy conversations.  Does this hurt the film?  No.  The acting still holds up and fortunately, Woody Allen is there to pop in whenever the film becomes too heavy handed in drama.

"I give you this flower, hoping you'll forgive me.  Those Transformer movies destroyed a beloved franchise 

and I vow to never be so reckless again."

THE ACTORS:

This film might be written, directed, and staring John Turturro, but Woody Allen steals the show…in every scene and with every line.  If you love Allen's ramblings and just shear goofiness, then you'll love Fading Gigolo.  You'll wonder whether the dialogue was actually written for Allen, or if Turturro just gave Woody free rein.  Either way, it works perfectly fine in the film.  The banter between the straight-laced Turturro and the eccentric Allen, is the film's bread and butter.  And Allen is thoroughly at home, running around as the kooky friend, saying whatever crazy crap comes into his head.

John Turturro at first won't seem to fit the roll as a ladies man, but after an hour in and multiple gorgeous women under his belt (which moves a little too fast for believability—but hey, it's Hollywood) you'll soon let his "unattractiveness" go and just enjoy the ride.  The slight problem comes when the humor is ditched and Woody isn't in the scene.  Even though Turturro can fill the drama and comedic aspect of the film, the character and movie can seem a little uneven going from silly to very serious in a matter of minutes.  But thankfully Woody is always there to pull the unevenness back together.

"Sofia, darling, take it easy with the makeup.  You remember what happened last time?  People

kept calling you Greta from Gremlins 2."

The film also stars Vanessa Paradis as Avigal, a lonely widow Hasidic Jew.  She's the drama part of the film and also showcases some of the best acting the movie has to offer.  She's also the only casting that actually looks the role.  Speaking of casting, Liev Schreiber—the mountain disguised as a man—plays another Hasidic Jew in the neighborhood that may or may not be falling for Avigal.  Not only does Schreiber's acting lack the seriousness for the role, but he also sticks out like a sore thumb in the film.  Every time he pops on screen, it instantly feels like he should be penalized for cross-checking or be beating someone to death for bad-mouthing his family.  Sharon Stone struts around as an aging horny toad with the only nude scene in the film (naturally).  Sofia Vergara happens to be just as voluptuous and annoying as in any other role.  And Aida Turturro (The Sopranos) steps in front of the camera just long enough to get into an accident and acquire a free lunch.

"Sir, can you please--"

Cut...Dammit!  Can someone please dig a hole in the street and put Sabretooth in it?  This shot 

is way too lopsided.

CONCLUSION:

Fading Gigolo may appear as a comedy, but it's truly a love story wrapped in comedic paper.  The film may fall heavily into the drama plot towards the end, but luckily Woody Allen is there to pull it back on track with his mumbling one-liners.  If you have a tough time stomaching love stories, Turturro or Allen, then it's best to stay away.  If you're a dude watching the film, hoping for a Sofia Vergara nude scene, then keep on hoping.  Her love making, apparently, is done fully draped in lingerie.  Now, if you don't know what a gigolo is and you're watching the film for a definition, then Allen says it the best: Gigolo is in the music business.  There's the music, the lyrics, and then the gigolo.

3.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for the slight unevenness and half a star for the Schreiber miscast)