Book Review - Sabriel

A Book Review by Glitchiee:

STORY:

Sabriel is the daughter of Abhorsen, a necromancer of sorts that does not raise the dead, but binds them with an infusion of Charter magic and necromancer skills.  When he fails to meet Sabriel for an annual get together, and a Dead construct brings her his sword and bells, she fears the worse.  Thus, she sets off for the Old Kingdom, where Charter Magic flows and the Dead roam free.  Chased by Dead being orchestrated by a mysterious force more powerful than herself, she flees to her father’s home, where she finds Mogget, the talking cat who is so much more than he appears.  Now she is the acting Abhorsen, and it is her duty to rid the kingdom of the evil threatening it.  Determined to rescue her father from whatever has befallen him, she stubbornly risks her life again and again, leading to an action-packed page turner of a story.  The walking dead, spells, wooden men, and Death ensue.

"I really don't understand how standing in this ring of fire and doing the 

Macarena will make me a better Sorcerer."

"It won't.  But it's damn funny."

THOUGHTS:

The bare bones plot behind Sabriel is a basic one at its roots: good vs. evil; a family trying to save each other; and life and death.  The fully grown story however is a beautiful blossom.  Combining a unique take on the world of death, interesting characters, and a well detailed world, Sabriel stands out as an amazing fantasy novel.

Sabriel is a complex protagonist, maturing from a school girl about to enter the world, into a Dead fighting Abhorsen trying to save the world from magical destruction.  Using the bells of a necromancer (typically used to raise the Dead), mixed with Charter Magic, and an infused blade that cuts through flesh and spirits, she puts the Dead to rest.  Sabriel also has the company of Mogget, a white talking cat with devious intentions.  And also joining the strange duo is Touchstone, a man once turned to wood who has lost his memory.  The power trio journeys along fighting Gore Crows, Dead hiding among villagers, and forgotten memories towards the capital of the Old Kingdom.

The world that makes up Sabriel is divided into two distinct countries.  There is the Old Kingdom, where charter magic flows freely, mechanical devices refuse to work, and technology is far behind that of its neighbor.  Dead in these parts do not really stay dead unless the body is burnt in a cleansing ritual.  And with the decay of the royal kingdom, chaos has ensued allowing necromancers a longer leash to practice their disgusting craft.  And the other country is Ancelstierre.  It's completely different, calling to mind England from the 1910's, where Charter Magic is the stuff of fairy tales, Dead stay dead and cars are the main source of transportation.  Growing up in Ancelstierre, Sabriel is as much a visitor in the country of her birth as someone from the United States is in Spain.

"Woah.  So if I wave this twig around and mouth off gibberish, magical things will 

happen that only I can see?  Far out." 

With the story, Death itself is an extremely detailed area.  It's filled with its own inhabitants, locales, and customs.  It's divided into nine precincts, each separated by a different gate that must be crossed with the river of Death running through it all.  And those that have died can fight their way back to life by standing fast against the current and traps each precinct presents.  A necromancer willing to travel the river of Death for their nefarious purposes can bind these hopeless souls, bringing them back to life under their control.  So if you love different variations on Death and where it takes you, this is something that will truly fascinate you as each gate functions differently, leading to a distinct different place.

The story is straightforward and direct, but not to the extent that it gives you all the details and history of the various characters and locations in the first few chapters.  You are drawn along throughout the story by hints of what is occurring.  It is not until the very end that all the plot strings come together, tying all previous events in a nice big bow.  And the best part is there are no subplots disappearing to never be heard from again.  Every event that occurs throughout the book ties directly into the main story line.  And you will be kept on the edge of your seat, hungrily turning the pages until late into the night, running with the characters while your heart beats wildly.

"So what you're saying is...I'm going to have to learn how to read like words 

and things to become like a Sorcerer and stuff?"

"I'm sorry.  How old are you?" 

CONCLUSION:

Sabriel opens in a dramatic way, pulling you under like the hidden undertow in Death.  Once you start reading you will not be able to put it down, hooked and entranced like you were bound by a magical curse and forced to read on.  Sabriel is a fantasy novel all of its own, with an interesting and unique take on death, necromancy, and magic.  On top of this you get detailed world creations, fully flushed out in-depth characters and a fantastic magic system.  All those ingredients are baked until perfection, leaving you with a lasting impression and wanting more.  If you like stories deep in action, fantasy, and tons of rotting flesh, then you shouldn't hesitate to pick this up.  Also keep in mind that this is a great introductory novel for those new to the fantasy genre as well as one for the seasoned fantasy lover.

5 out of 5 Stars (well done Garth Nix)

Reviewer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

Video Game Review: Hand of Fate

Since she had such a marvelous guest review of Darkest Dungeon, Glitchiee returns this time to put Hand of Fate through the ringer.  So take it away Glitchiee:

Hand of Fate deals you cards that hold delicious food, armor, and vampires…but where does that leave all the combat?

STORY:

The player is sat across from a mysterious dealer that continually provokes you throughout the game.  Have you lost your memory?  Is this card game going to get you killed?  Can you understand the dealer's words as he talks underneath a handkerchief?  These and other questions arise as you play through the game trying to acquire the mysterious dealer's items.  Food carts, platforming death mazes, luck, and a clunky combat system ensues.

"Abradna cabrshea sha."

"Yeah, you're going to have to repeat that. I can't understand a word coming out 

of your mouth with that scarf wrapped around your head."

"Bi sauegd abrashhh cabrabra."

"You know what?  Forget it.  Let's just play 'Go Fish' or something."

GAMEPLAY/THOUGHTS:

Hand of Fate is comprised of two different play styles.  There is the card game section and then there is the combat section.  And having the two mixed in a pixelated cocktail is a concept most gamers have yet to come across.  It brings a fresh take on most card games that are currently floating around in the gaming world.

Let's start with the card section of gameplay.  This is by far the best part of the game, due to smooth animations, fantastic voice over, and overall concept.  The player builds a deck of cards consisting of various combat equipment and encounters.  These can range from swords, rat cleavers, fancy rings, goblins stealing your stuff, a funky carnival, and lava golems.  The cards you select are shuffled in with other encounter, heath, and gold cards, and then are laid out in various patterns.  And you use the token representing your character to move around the dealer's table, selecting which cards it will jump to.  Some layouts are much more difficult than others, causing you to move unnecessarily, which in turn will cost you precious food.  And when you run out of food, well…you start losing health per each move, which can result in you starving to death.  If you happen to survive at the end of each board, you will either hit stairs, a forest, or a ship to take you across the sea to more encounters.  And after each encounter you become closer to facing that level's boss.

Now, not only do encounters give you items or have hilarious text or force you into combat, but there is also a chance mechanic.  Typically there are four cards you can choose from with various chances of success.  These get shuffled and you have to pick what you think is the right card in order to succeed.  This is where luck plays a huge role in the game, just like any other card game.  So if you're the type of person that buys their lottery tickets already ripped up, you might have a tough time in this area, because if you choose unwisely and fail, you can starve, lose health, face more enemies than you can handle, or even get cursed.

 

"You want me to what?  Nope.  I'm fine staying right here.  If I get hungry, I'll just eat my mace." 

This then brings us to the not-so-successful combat portion of the game.  When you land on certain battle encounters, you are then whisked away from the card table and dropped into a randomized location filled with goblins, ugly rats, death-dealing mazes, humongous Minotaurs and bosses.  It's in these combat areas that your equipment cards turn into actual weapons and armor, while the suit cards materialize into living breathing bloodthirsty enemies, allowing the clunky excitement to really begin.

While the combat makes it seem like the battling would be the highlight of the game…this is where you would be oh so very wrong.  The mechanics are awkward, the game slightly lags during fights, and there is no way to change your point of view.  Most of your time will be spent attempting to find out where enemies are and then repositioning your character so that you can actually be able to land a hit.  And if there are more than five baddies floating around, forget it.  Instant game over.  Now there may be rare instances where you have an awesome weapon, artifact, or something that'll actually let you survive, in which case, you'll probably get extremely giddy.  But don't get your hopes up.

With all that said, there are some fun parts in the combat sections.  The enemies will make hilarious noises, especially when you kill them.  And when you whack the last enemy to death, it makes a gong like sound.  You seriously have a gong sound announcing you are the winner.  How amazing is that?  You can also kill enemies by reflecting their projectiles back at them, adding depth to your defense and if performed correctly, is even more amazing than a gong sound.  Which in turn will make you scream at the PC like a maniacal villain, "mwhahahahaha idiot, you thought you had me but I got you with your own throwing knife."  Truly epic indeed.

"Hmm...sitting across from a shady dealer wanting to play some random card game HE invented

 sounds like fun.  Deal me in.  And why can't I see your face all of a sudden?"

CONCLUSION:

The massive difference between the amazing gameplay in the card section and the absolute horrendous gameplay mechanics in the combat section is the only reason why gamers won't be singing Hand of Fate's praises.  Imagine attempting to defeat a boss with the awkward combat mechanics and during the battle, trying to compensate for lag.  It's terrible.  So it's extremely possible to be stuck on the very first board with absolutely no way to advance.  On top of that, where is the story?  Oh wait, that's right…there really is none.  The dealer seems just as confused about the plot as the main character.  Maybe if there was a reason to keep playing, you'd be a little more invested in the game.

So if the battle mechanics were cleaned up or they added a story to keep you playing, Hand of Fate's score would drastically improve.  But with a great idea and fantastic card game, it's a shame Hand of Fate has to fall short in the combat area.  If that part of the game was just pushed a little further, or cleaned up a smidgen, then Hand of Fate would rock your world.

EDIT (4-25-15): The latest update for Hand of Fate introduced playable Fates. These Fates allow the player to pick their difficulty, from apprentice to warlord. Each Fate comes with its own encounter card series, so not only can you replay the game on another difficulty, but a new encounter comes with the deal. Even though game controllers still seem to be glitched, being able to play on easy mode makes the game—especially the fighting—much better. 

3 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for both combat mechanics and missing story)

Reviewer: Glitchiee – Twitter / Twitch

Editor: Hank – Twitter / Twitch

DVD Movie Review - Big Eyes

Big Eyes is a true story about art, business, creativity, women's status, and knowing how to keep a humongous secret.

STORY:

Margaret (Amy Adams) is an artist in the 1950's that decides to do something unheard of: leave her husband.  But while trying to settle down and start a new life with her daughter (Delaney Raye), she happens to meet another charismatic artist named Walter Keane (Christoph Waltz).  He's so taken by her art that he decides to marry Margaret and call her paintings his own.  Scandals, acrylics, phony smiles, great business ideas, and the silly art world ensue.

"Yes, I'm going to screw over everyone and really enjoy it." 

THOUGHTS:

How would you feel if your art was world renowned?  How would you feel if you made millions of dollars just by touching paint to a canvas?  How would you feel if your paintings could be found on post cards, in supermarkets, on TV, in museums, and in galleries?  You'd be the happiest artist in the world, right?  Well…how would you feel if you had all the above, except your spouse took all the credit?  Could you go on and live with yourself, knowing someone else's face was attributed to your art?  Those questions and questions about love, family, and real friends are at the heart of Big Eyes' story.

The film opens up in the 1950's and you get a taste for what it's like being a woman during that time period.  How obtaining certain jobs can be rough and how women weren't necessarily respected in the art community...at least not as much as men.  But Margaret is different.  She wants to pave her own way without a husband hanging around.  But then she accidentally meets the love of her life, Walter, the man who will turn her simple paintings of children into world renowned masterpieces.  The man that will give her everything she's ever wanted: a beautiful home, a huge bank account to support her daughter, nice cars, in-ground pools, and a gigantic studio where she can practice her art.  But it's all at a cost.  Each and every painting she produces has her husband’s name on it.  Ouch.  And that is the real treat of the film: the amazing true story of a no-name artist's claim to fame and how everything about the journey is one big colossal lie.

The film is directed by Tim Burton and aside from the huge eyes in the paintings, is a far stretch from what you're used to seeing in his films.  This is a true story.  So don't expect any crazy twists at the end (the ending is predictable) or people dressed all in black or monochromatic cinematography or even weird characters played by Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter.  In fact, the film is saturated in colors and is shot pretty straight forward for a Tim Burton film.  So if you're a diehard fan and are looking for a macabre aesthetic, you'll be quite upset when none of his artistic traits are present in this movie.

"I wanna thank everyone for coming out tonight and having to deal with my ridiculous hat." 

THE ACTING:

Christoph Waltz is unbelievable in this film.  If you've seen any of his previous movies then you already know what to expect.  The man becomes whatever character he needs to play and it's quite astounding to watch…so astounding that he'll make you hate him in this movie.  That's when you know the actor has done his job: When you can't stand to look at his face or fake smile anymore, because of his slimy and disgusting traits.  In the beginning you'll enjoy his suave dialogue and charismatic personality, but towards the end, when things start to unravel, he'll become the most hated person in the film.  Well done.  Amy Adams (Margaret) continues to impress in every movie.  Her ability to go from helpless mother to an emotional mess to independent is fantastic.  You'll feel each and every painstaking step as she makes worse and worse decisions in her life.  And pairing her with Waltz couldn't have been a better choice in the casting department.

"It says I've won a one year membership to the Jelly-of-the-Month club."

"It's what you've always wanted."

The rest of the cast pops in the story to push the plot forward, but also deliver respectable performances in their own supporting roles.  Danny Huston shows up as Dick Nolan, part movie narrator and the newspaper columnist that gets the Keane Art Empire rolling.  Krysten Ritter from Breaking Bad, appears as Margaret's good friend, DeeAnn.  She helps Margaret see her life from the outside looking in.  Jason Schwartzman jumps in the film for a few minutes here and there as a competing gallery owner.  As typical with Schwartzman, his scenes all contain a witty dry comedic nature.  The original General Zod, Terence Stamp, lends his expertise to the role of John Canaday, an art critic whose insight on the Keane masterpieces play a huge role towards the end of the film.  And both Delaney Raye (young Jane) and Madeleine Arthur (older Jane) respectively play Margaret's daughter throughout the span of a decade, but it's Raye that ends up showing the true problems of living in an oppressed household.

"I don't want your dime A-hole.  I want to punch you in the face."

CONCLUSION:

Big Eyes is a remarkable true story of a woman's passion to make her own way in life.  If you're okay with no crazy story twists or fantasy plots that director Tim Burton is known for; and you have no problem with biographical films, then you'll enjoy Big Eyes and its look into what makes the art world tick.  Now, if you're not an artist or a “creative” in any way, and a woman's life story and tragedies throughout her career sound slow and boring.  Then your best bet is to stay far away from this film and wait for it to grace cable instead.  But if you want solid acting, an unbelievable true story about a scandalous art empire, and want to see just how ridiculous the art community can be at times, then feel safe knowing you'll be in good hands with Big Eyes.

3.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for true-life predictable ending & ½ star for a few slow plot segments)

Video Game Review: Darkest Dungeon

Ladies and gentlemen.  Boys and girls.  And the random Circus Clown that stumbled in here after a long day of honking noses and jumping out of tiny vehicles.  Gather round, because P&P has accidentally found a guest writer to help diversify all the stupidity that happens in these reviews.  And here's the craziest part: it's a girl.  Now most of you might not know what that is and that's fine…because neither does P&P.  So to enlighten us on the feminine ways of gaming, arrives the lovely Glitchiee.  She's a fellow Twitch broadcaster, writer, video game junkie, food-connoisseur, geek, nerd, cosplayer, and might…just might have a background in professional Pokémon.  So what does all this mean for P&P?  Well, basically, that I get to sit back and goof off, while someone else does all the work.  So without further ado, take it away Glitchiee:

EARLY ACCESS WARNING:

Darkest Dungeon is currently in Steam Early Access.  This means that the full game has not yet been completed.  Player feedback is still important as the developers, Red Hook, are making changes, improving mechanics, creating other dungeons, and are also adding more characters for players to select.  And as such this review will only reflect what is currently available in game. 

STORY:

You’re a rich land owner that loses his fortune because your idiot caretaker spends all the family’s money by digging through your beautiful mansion to uncover supernatural mysteries.  Apparently the local bar and brothel were not distracting enough.  In the process of spending all your money, the caretaker unleashes forces beyond his control that take over the mansion and destroy the nearby village.  As the player, you're tasked with having to go home and fix the mess.  Giant disgusting hags, booger skeletons, silly traps, and all the stress you can swallow ensues.

"You touch it."

"No you touch it."

"Listen, I don't even know what the noodles that thing is."

"The noodles...?"

"Yeah, I've been trying not to curse so much and...Oh forget it, let's just stab this f*cking thing in the face."

THOUGHTS:

Darkest Dungeon may seem like an easy 2D side-scroller, but the reality is that the game can and probably will make you pull your hair out with its difficultly.  On the surface, all you have to do is crawl through dungeons and kill monsters, but in reality the game is so much deeper than that.

The object of the game is to build the best four-person team to stop the evil supernatural forces, and there are a number of various characters available that the player can choose from.  These characters can range from a healing Vestal to a gun slinging Highwayman.  And each character comes with four abilities (out of the eight available) that can only be performed from certain positions in the team.  So creating the right mix of healing, ranged, and melee abilities are one of the keys to victory.

While scrounging around in the various areas of the mansion you have to keep alert.  Being able to surprise monsters/enemies definitely gives you an advantage in battle, though silly spiders can still dodge while surprised.  Various monsters can inflict Bleed or Blight damage, which over time, slowly drains your character's health.  And not only can these monsters inflict effects, but various traps, trees, locked cabinets…or just about anything else found in game can too.  So while this may seem unfair, relax, because player characters can also inflict the same devastating abilities.  And if you stack them up correctly, well…you don’t even have to hit the monsters for them to die.

"So where do you guys want to go?  I'm thinking either the brothel...or the brothel."

But the game's biggest difficulty comes in the form of stress.  This mechanic is not only one of the most important aspects of the game, but also the most unique.  It's what makes Darkest Dungeon what it is, and as you venture along the decrepit halls of your once glorious mansion, your light begins to dim.  So you better be burning torches to keep the light high, otherwise your characters will get stressed and your enemies will gain crazy bonuses.  Also, if a character should get critically hit they get stressed even more.  And what happens when they reach maximum stress?  They either become heroic, reducing their stress level and achieving a great ability, or they become afflicted with things like selfishness and abusiveness.  And all afflictions will affect how they interact while moving through the dungeons as well as how they fight.

So how do you reduce the stress?  Well, you can always have a Jester on the back line every time you set out on a quest.  But what if you don’t have a banjo playing, sickle wielding Jester on your roster?  Or your characters are so stressed they won’t even go into the darkness?  That's when you have to send them to the Tavern or the Abbey.  What better way to relieve stress than with a stiff drink or whipping oneself?  But this presents a problem: it makes the character unplayable for the next quest, which in turn, makes it necessary to have multiple characters that you are comfortable with on your team.

"What'll have?"

"A round of your most expensive drink for my friends and I."

"You got it.  Four piss warm beers coming up."

Now that seems pretty tough already, right?  Your team can lose health or get stressed or just go frigging crazy.  But here's the kicker: on top of all that are quirks.  These can be a mix of good or bad, ranging from being obsessed with alcohol (hilarious) to receiving extra healing benefits when camping.  And when adventuring you can even contract some new quirks such as rabies or syphilis (also hilarious).  Each of these quirks will do different things from buffing accuracy to reducing stress resist, giving them a massive impact on how characters interact with their surroundings.  In addition, quirks can also impact what ways a character can relieve stress, adding another layer of difficulty.

Now, to keep things fresh and addicting, there are three levels of difficulty for each dungeon available.  So when characters reach level 3 they will no longer go on easy quests.  And when they hit level 5 they will no longer go on medium quests.  This in and of itself can make things tricky as level difficulties are also randomized.  In addition to that, each difficulty introduces new and tougher enemies, along with quests that can have three different lengths: short, medium, and long.  So while you’re dealing with enemies that want to eat your face, or team members that just want to visit the brothel, and not to mention various quirks and afflictions...don't forget the different objectives needed for leveling up your team like destroying shrines, gathering food, exploring the majority of rooms and completing every room battle.

"Ahh...someone get these moist, sticky things off of me!"

"Anyone else up for the bar or brothel?"

"Guys, I'm serious...guys!?!"

CONCLUSION:

Darkest Dungeon is a challenging, unique, and extremely addictive game.  Combining various character abilities with quirks that play off each other and properly managing stress are the keys to continuing your pixelated adventure.  So while you may never see a game over screen, you probably will have all your characters killed in just one battle, forcing you to start training replacements from the beginning.

Even though Darkest Dungeon is in its early access stages, it's still highly recommended for players that love a challenge.  With very few flaws (too small an inventory and no turn listing) and no noticeable bugs, you'll quickly realize there are countless hours to be had in Darkest Dungeon.  And since the game is still not fully released, you get to look forward to even more content in the future.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus a ¼ star for small inventory and a ¼ star for no turn listing)

Reviewer: Glitchiee

Editor: Hank