Ladies
and gentlemen. Boys and girls. And the random Circus Clown that stumbled in
here after a long day of honking noses and jumping out of tiny vehicles. Gather round, because P&P has
accidentally found a guest writer to help diversify all the stupidity that
happens in these reviews. And here's the
craziest part: it's a girl. Now most of
you might not know what that is and that's fine…because neither does
P&P. So to enlighten us on the
feminine ways of gaming, arrives the lovely Glitchiee. She's a fellow Twitch broadcaster, writer,
video game junkie, food-connoisseur, geek, nerd, cosplayer, and might…just
might have a background in professional Pokémon. So what does all this mean for P&P? Well, basically, that I get to sit back and
goof off, while someone else does all the work.
So without further ado, take it away Glitchiee:
EARLY ACCESS
WARNING:
Darkest Dungeon
is currently in Steam Early Access. This
means that the full game has not yet been completed. Player feedback is still important as the
developers, Red Hook, are making changes, improving mechanics, creating other
dungeons, and are also adding more characters for players to select. And as such this review will only reflect
what is currently available in game.
STORY:
You’re
a rich land owner that loses his fortune because your idiot caretaker spends
all the family’s money by digging through your beautiful mansion to uncover
supernatural mysteries. Apparently the
local bar and brothel were not distracting enough. In the process of spending all your money,
the caretaker unleashes forces beyond his control that take over the mansion
and destroy the nearby village. As the
player, you're tasked with having to go home and fix the mess. Giant disgusting hags, booger skeletons,
silly traps, and all the stress you can swallow ensues.
"You touch it."
"No you touch it."
"Listen, I don't even know what the noodles that thing is."
"The noodles...?"
"Yeah, I've been trying not to curse so much and...Oh forget it, let's just stab this f*cking thing in the face."
THOUGHTS:
Darkest
Dungeon may seem like an easy 2D side-scroller, but the reality is that the
game can and probably will make you pull your hair out with its
difficultly. On the surface, all you
have to do is crawl through dungeons and kill monsters, but in reality the game
is so much deeper than that.
The
object of the game is to build the best four-person team to stop the evil
supernatural forces, and there are a number of various characters available
that the player can choose from. These
characters can range from a healing Vestal to a gun slinging Highwayman. And each character comes with four abilities (out of the eight available) that can
only be performed from certain positions in the team. So creating the right mix of healing, ranged,
and melee abilities are one of the keys to victory.
While
scrounging around in the various areas of the mansion you have to keep
alert. Being able to surprise
monsters/enemies definitely gives you an advantage in battle, though silly
spiders can still dodge while surprised.
Various monsters can inflict Bleed or Blight damage, which over time,
slowly drains your character's health.
And not only can these monsters inflict effects, but various traps, trees,
locked cabinets…or just about anything else found in game can too. So while this may seem unfair, relax, because
player characters can also inflict the same devastating abilities. And if you stack them up correctly, well…you
don’t even have to hit the monsters for them to die.
"So where do you guys want to go? I'm thinking either the brothel...or the brothel."
But
the game's biggest difficulty comes in the form of stress. This mechanic is not only one of the most
important aspects of the game, but also the most unique. It's what makes Darkest Dungeon what it is, and
as you venture along the decrepit halls of your once glorious mansion, your
light begins to dim. So you better be
burning torches to keep the light high, otherwise your characters will get
stressed and your enemies will gain crazy bonuses. Also, if a character should get critically
hit they get stressed even more. And
what happens when they reach maximum stress?
They either become heroic, reducing their stress level and achieving a
great ability, or they become afflicted with things like selfishness and
abusiveness. And all afflictions will
affect how they interact while moving through the dungeons as well as how they
fight.
So
how do you reduce the stress? Well, you
can always have a Jester on the back line every time you set out on a
quest. But what if you don’t have a
banjo playing, sickle wielding Jester on your roster? Or your characters are so stressed they won’t
even go into the darkness? That's when
you have to send them to the Tavern or the Abbey. What better way to relieve stress than with a
stiff drink or whipping oneself? But
this presents a problem: it makes the character unplayable for the next quest,
which in turn, makes it necessary to have multiple characters that you are
comfortable with on your team.
"What'll have?"
"A round of your most expensive drink for my friends and I."
"You got it. Four piss warm beers coming up."
Now
that seems pretty tough already, right?
Your team can lose health or get stressed or just go frigging
crazy. But here's the kicker: on top of
all that are quirks. These can be a mix
of good or bad, ranging from being obsessed with alcohol (hilarious) to receiving extra healing benefits when camping. And when adventuring you can even contract
some new quirks such as rabies or syphilis (also
hilarious). Each of these quirks
will do different things from buffing accuracy to reducing stress resist,
giving them a massive impact on how characters interact with their
surroundings. In addition, quirks can
also impact what ways a character can relieve stress, adding another layer of
difficulty.
Now,
to keep things fresh and addicting, there are three levels of difficulty for
each dungeon available. So when
characters reach level 3 they will no longer go on easy quests. And when they hit level 5 they will no longer
go on medium quests. This in and of
itself can make things tricky as level difficulties are also randomized. In addition to that, each difficulty
introduces new and tougher enemies, along with quests that can have three
different lengths: short, medium, and long.
So while you’re dealing with enemies that want to eat your face, or team
members that just want to visit the brothel, and not to mention various quirks
and afflictions...don't forget the different objectives needed for leveling up your
team like destroying shrines, gathering food, exploring the majority of rooms
and completing every room battle.
"Ahh...someone get these moist, sticky things off of me!"
"Anyone else up for the bar or brothel?"
"Guys, I'm serious...guys!?!"
CONCLUSION:
Darkest
Dungeon is a challenging, unique, and extremely addictive game. Combining various character abilities with
quirks that play off each other and properly managing stress are the keys to
continuing your pixelated adventure. So
while you may never see a game over screen, you probably will have all your
characters killed in just one battle, forcing you to start training
replacements from the beginning.
Even
though Darkest Dungeon is in its early access stages, it's still highly
recommended for players that love a challenge.
With very few flaws (too small an
inventory and no turn listing) and no noticeable bugs, you'll quickly
realize there are countless hours to be had in Darkest Dungeon. And since the game is still not fully
released, you get to look forward to even more content in the future.
4.5
out of 5 Stars (minus a ¼ star for small
inventory and a ¼ star for no turn listing)
Reviewer: Glitchiee
Editor: Hank
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