Gravity
may give a new definition to motion sickness and space phobia, but one thing's
for sure: once you see it, you'll never forget it.
STORY:
Dr.
Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock), a medical engineer, takes her first plunge into
space to repair a telescope. While in
the midst of floating around the earth and hearing silly anecdotes from Matt
Kowalski (George Clooney), a cloud of space debris heads their way, essentially
trying to ruin the astronaut's fun.
Floating balls of fire, limited air, spinning camera angles, and
helplessness ensue.
"Yes, that's right. My pelvis is hooked to her pelvis. Deal with it."
THOUGHTS:
Some
people grow up with a fear of spiders.
Others may crap their pants when they think of being lost in the
woods. You may be terrified of being in
the middle of the ocean with no land in sight.
But this film gleefully adds to these fears by helping you realize that
being stranded in the quiet darkness of space may be scarier than any of the
previously mentioned phobias. Welcome to
the cinematic universe of Gravity.
Please enjoy the shortness of breath and the deadly orbiting space
debris.
The
film starts innocently enough with Bullock and Clooney floating around a space
telescope attempting to do some repairs.
But very soon after and for every remaining minute, you're taken from
one impossible situation to the next.
The plot and anxiety never let up.
When you think you'll have a few moments rest to collect your thoughts
and ease into your over-saturated buttery popcorn—BAM—another frigging problem
pops up and you're caught with slippery kernels in your fingertips and too much
stress and suspense to shovel them into your mouth. This movie will literally keep you on the
edge of your seat the entire running time.
And when it's not racing your heart, it may be drowning you in your own
tears.
"So...after this, what do you say we head behind the telescope and rub our space suits together?"
Sandra
Bullock is Gravity and hopefully, you don't have a problem staring at the
actress for about ninety minutes. Not
liking her face or voice may hurt your movie experience, but fortunately the
scenery and special effects are so unbelievable that it may be possible to
forget all about her. Now, if you love
her, then this will probably be your favorite film, nestled right on the shelf
above Miss Congeniality. Clooney on the
other hand, uses his suave manners and soothing voice to try and pull the
viewer away from all the tragic obstacles happening on screen. And at times may even make you smile. But those feelings will only last mere
moments, because the next heart-pumping scene is always right around the
corner. As for the rest of the actors in
the film…there aren't any. Just a two
person show. Of course there are a
couple of random voices in the beginning, but after about ten minutes, it's the
Bullock and Clooney show. And both do a
damn fine job in their respectable roles.
"Crap. Is that what time it is? Alright, just one more beer and greasy pork sandwich, before
I'm fired into space in a phallic-shaped missile."
MOTION SICKNESS
AND SPECIAL EFFECTS:
If
you're the type of person that can't watch those clips that show the point of
view of a roller coaster ripping around rails and doing speedy loopy loops,
then this film will probably make you yak all over a loved one. No joke.
In the beginning (this scene can
also be previewed in the trailer) when the initial strike of debris
happens, Bullock finds herself strapped to the end of a long spinning arm. Instead of the camera pulling back and
letting you watch her spin, the camera is planted inside her helmet and you're
taken for a stomach-gurgling experience.
Around and around—earth, darkness, earth, darkness…yak. Luckily, those scenes aren't the bulk of the
film, so you may only throw up a couple of times. If spinning or shaking cameras don't bother
you in the slightest, then allow someone to kick you in the genitals so you can
experience the film like the rest of us.
The
special effects in this movie are really on a level of perfection all their
own. There is no comparing the feeling
of beauty and anxiety all at the same time.
The camera angles and lighting are magnificent and the only part better
than watching the magic on screen, is understanding the science behind it. Basically, a lot of the technology used
throughout the movie had to be imagined and then built, because it didn't
exist. And since the director, Alfonso
Cuaron, was anal about the look and feel of every shot, almost everything you
see had to be created in CG. What you
think is actually part of a prop or set, may not be real at all—including the
actors.
"Damn you, next-gen video games! So many buttons and triggers. Why can't this be more like Pong?"
WHO'LL HATE IT?
If
you hate movies light on dialogue or focusing on one person the entire time,
like Cast Away, then you'll probably be better off busting out your Snooki
collection for about two hours. If
astronauts and space don't hold a special spot in your heart or if you have no
fear of floating helplessly in a dark void, then you might want to pick up a
gallon of paint, throw it at the wall, and spend a couple of hours watching it
dry instead. Now…if you hate both actors
in this film, there's a pretty good chance that even the incredible
cinematography may not be able to save it.
So your best bet? Spend a few
hours judging all the new porn videos, so the rest of us can simply view by
highest rating.
"Is that frigging dog crapping on my lawn...again?"
CONCLUSION:
Gravity
is simply an amazing film. Even though
it may cause heart failure or night sweats at times, the view from space is
worth it. With an accelerated pace, the
perfect lead actress, and magical effects that could only be compared to Merlin
himself, there's no reason not to see this movie. Unless of course you have all the afflictions
listed in the "Who'll Hate It"
category, then please stay far away. For
everyone else, Gravity will be best viewed in HD, but probably without all the
3D nonsense.
5 out of 5 stars (well done)
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