Destiny: The Imploding Hype Train

NOTE: P&P’s impressions of Destiny’s Alpha and Beta.

Ever since Destiny, Bungie's FPS/RPG/MMO/I DON'T KNOW, released, everyone has had only one question: Did it live up to the hype?  And instead of dancing around the answer for an entire article, P&P can simply say: Nope.  But before you run outside for the first time in months and start flinging your feces around, hoping for it to land somewhere in my general vicinity, you should know this: it doesn't mean the game isn't fun.  It just means Bungie made too many promises that they couldn't keep.  "Well then, Mr. Smartypants, would you like to explain exactly how Destiny failed to meet the hype?"  Sure, but first you must understand that…

DESTINY IS LIKE GREAT SEX:

You're standing in a violently loud club, when suddenly, your world stands still.  Directly in front of you, twenty feet away, is the most beautiful girl or handsome fella you've ever laid eyes on.  Surrounded by sweaty drugged-out ravers and numerous ugly friends, this individual looks like Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, himself carved them out of the most immaculate piece of marble on earth.  So what do you do?  You drag them right into your bed without the mention of dinner or a movie.  And you're not disappointed.  Their thrusting and gyrating mechanics are flawless and could go on for hours.  You can't believe who or what you've found, so instead of waiting three days as required by a silly law, you take them back to your bed the next night too.  And again, you have monumental sex that no one will ever understand.

"If this guy's exhaust comes anywhere near my robe, so help me God..."

Lying in the sheets, soak and wet from ecstasy, you do something unfathomable: you decide to have a conversation, and when your angel opens their mouth, out falls stories about bubblegum and handbags or football and beer.  You think, "well that was interesting," but then shrug and reflect on the fantastic sex you've been having.  So before the next night's romp session, you decide to buy multiple mirrors—which is creepy, yet necessary—and decorate the bedroom.  And in the reflections this Greek god or goddess looks exquisite from every angle.  Filled with such fond scenery, you attempt to converse again, and once more you hear about bubblegum, handbags, football, and beer.  And that's when it finally hits you: the angel lying next to you doesn't have any stories or adventures.  They lack depth.  They lack complexity.  They lack—*gulp*—a soul.

Now, someone that hasn't had a variety of different partners might marry a bubblegum/beer talker (not that there's anything wrong with that).  But someone with experience might feel that without some substance to fill the remaining hours of the day, your exquisite monkey-sex partner is just an empty shell.  A gorgeous, ridiculously talented empty shell, but an empty shell nonetheless.  And when you do finally find an exquisite person that can make you laugh and tell stories that keep you enthused for hours, the angelic empty shell will just become a distant memory of what could have been.  And that, my joystick fondling friends is exactly what Destiny is like—give or take a few orgasms of course.  "So what you're saying is Destiny is like awesome sex and I should come back often?"  You seem to have missed something important.  It was probably the word s-e-x that confused you.  No matter.  Let's move on.

"Man, these 7 o'clock shows are becoming more and more repetitive.  Where the hell 

is the purple ball?"

THE HYPE:

Bungie promised a universe like Star Wars to gamers.  Worlds where you could travel and meet other Guardians and unearth fantastical stories that span time and space.  They’d create a game where you'd have an experience like no other game before it.  But what Bungie really delivered is Diablo 3 in a first person shooter perspective (relax).  It may not resemble Diablo 3 or dip into fantasy elements, but the mechanics underneath are exactly the same.  You go to an area, kill everything in sight, collect the loot (or in Destiny's case the lack thereof) and move on to the next area.  When you've killed everything in every area, you go back to previous areas and kill the same things over and over again, until you collect the right loot to level up.  Both games thrive on the principle of wanting to get to the next level and both games can be extremely fun, but only…if you're okay with a grinding mechanic.  The problem is that's not what Bungie promised when the advertising train started rolling.  So the gamers that believed they were getting a Halo type shooter with the depth of Mass Effect were utterly disappointed. 

THE STORY:

What story?  Did someone say something about a story?  I clearly didn't say anything about a story.  You?  It wasn't me.  Well okay then, moving on.  (Go anywhere on the web and you'll find numerous articles about how Bungie bumbled this aspect of the game)

"Yeah, umm...I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but your face looks like it's 

having sex with an octopus."

A ROBUST WORLD:

It's funny how all of humanity and every Guardian left in existence fit perfectly on a rooftop of a tower (pun intended).  When you think about games like Mass Effect or Fallout 3 or even Borderlands 2, you immediately remember all the fun you had just walking around and talking to the NPC inhabitants.  There always seemed to be a story to find and somewhere interesting to explore.  But not here.  Certainly not in Destiny.  Even the NPC's in the Tower have absolutely nothing to say.  They just stare at you.  And if you count them up (not counting factions or vendors) there's probably about five.  So why isn't there unique NPC's in the Tower or on other planets?  Umm…don't know.  Why are all the other areas (besides the Tower) just filled with enemies?  Why aren't there other outposts for Guardians?  After various shrugs, you'll quickly realize there are no other outposts, NPC's, or towns anywhere.  And sadly, that creates a big empty void where a remarkable story could have been. 

"Yes, I'll take the double latte macchiato, light foam, soy milk, and a galactic hot dog or--Wait, do 

you have anything on the menu NOT made from Dreg?

LAZINESS OR A DIFFERENT APPROACH TO GAME CREATING:

It probably took you about 15 hours to finally decide to open up your inventory and have a look.  And in your pixelated satchel you discovered all this junk you've collected with absolutely no description of what it is or what to do with it.  "Discover the world in your own way (paraphrasing)," Bungie reps tell you.  So they've made a game just like life: you spend an outrageous amount of time wondering what to do, and when you finally figure it out, you die shortly after.  Without the help of the online community deciphering all this crap, you'd have Guardians just wandering around the Tower, grinding on each other.  Is this method of game-making profound or just down right lazy?  That's for you to decide.

BUT WHAT ABOUT MULTIPLAYER:

Yes, there's that.  Multiplayer is fun after obtaining decent loot and upgrades, and can actually become quite an addictive part of the game.  But then everyone looks at Halo (and how could you not?) and realizes there's not much here, besides a couple of game modes and terrible matchmaking.  And just like in the Beta, if your whole team drops out, it leaves you holding your nuts and twiddling your thumbs.  So that's fun.

"Hi there, I was wondering where you got that extremely sweet smelling cappucino?"

"..."

"Yeah, if you could just point me in the right direction, that'd be great..."

"..."

"Hello?  Lady?  What is with all the mute idiots around here?  The hell with this...Ghost, where's the purple ball?"

CONCLUSION:

Destiny, sadly, didn't come close to living up to the hype Bungie built.  The funny thing about all that is if Bungie just explained what they were delivering (a grinding first-person shooter) in the first place, there wouldn't have been any outcry from gamers.  But then again, Bungie wouldn't have sold as many copies as they did.  So from a pure marketing standpoint, the hype worked.  Destiny is a beautiful game and as far as shooters go, has top notch gameplay.  Even though the story, dialogue, and world-building completely missed the mark, the level design is completed with care, the characters look gorgeous, and the game can be damn fun at times.  Will Bungie fix all these problems with Destiny 2?  Only time and a lot more hype will tell.

Game Review - Child of Light

Child of Light is a whimsical video game with beautiful backgrounds, sincere characters, and an elegant score. 

STORY:

Aurora is stuck in the dream-like magical kingdom of Lemuria.  The only way for her to return home to her sickly father is to vanquish the Queen of the Night and take back the stolen sun, moon, and stars.  Tiny princesses, courageous mice, dangerous creatures, and a rhyming firefly named Igniculus ensue.

"Will you please stop looking at me like I'm retarded...

I have no idea how this rhyming started...

I'm just here to fulfill a quest...

Now pack your crap and let's do our best."

THOUGHTS:

The first thing you'll notice about this short 10-12 hour RPG is its beauty.  Each backdrop and location mimics fantastical watercolor paintings that could be found in a child's fairy tale book.  Your character, Aurora, is wonderfully designed and just the act of moving her through each side-scrolling environment is worth the price of admission.  The music helps add drama or whimsy to the story, and the physics engine gives the characters a sense of weight.  (Every time Aurora takes off or lands or loses her crown, and especially when she swings her sword, you easily can feel each and every movement.)  In addition to the music and physics is the sound.  The big moments throughout your quest have their due, but it’s the subtle sounds that make playing special.  Pay close attention to when Aurora is running or landing, the sound of her footfalls add a sweet touch to the overall fairy tale theme.

"I told you not to take those downers...

We haven't got but 10 hours...

So pop a pill or maybe two...

Or I'll leave your drugged ass, sad and blue."

COMBAT & GAMEPLAY:

Most joystick fondlers won't have a problem with the game being a 2D side-scroller.  It's the battle system that'll make or break your love for Child of Light.  This isn't a hack and slash like Dragon's Crown.  The combat is turn-based, so you'll have to understand and appreciate JRPG games like Final Fantasy.  The good thing is the game doesn't fall into the trap of being overly complicated, but it does have enough weapon and character upgrading for hardcore fans to appreciate.  There's also no need to grind like in Final Fantasy and just a few simple puzzles keep the game interesting without being frustrating.

Once you spot an enemy on screen—hopefully you'll run or fly into them from behind to enable a surprise attack—you're then whisked away to the battle screen.  The battle screen roughly remains the same throughout the story, save for slightly different colors and backgrounds.  Your two party members along with the enemy (anywhere from one to three) are placed atop platforms and a turn-based striking system dictates who attacks first.  But the genius comes in the form of the time-bar at the bottom of the screen.  While in combat, a scrolling time bar will control who strikes next, giving each battle a sense of urgency and allowing the player to use everything in their arsenal to strategically cripple the opponent.  With spells that speed up the player or Igniculus slowing down the enemy and with the ability to interrupt enemy attacks, it becomes possible to win a battle without ever taking a scratch.  This necessity to think on your feet is what really deepens Child of Light's combat.  All the above may sound exhausting, but the game does a great job of slowly introducing you to each combat strategy, so you'll never feel overwhelmed.

"Listen, you fat upper class rat...

I'm trying merely to have a civilized chat...

Don't make me smack your face, unless you want to roll the dice...

Cause I'll shove my sword up your ass, not once, but probably twice."

If there is one place that you might find a little confusing, it'll be in the gem crafting department.  Throughout the game in hidden chests, you'll come across fragments and gems called oculi.  The game will take you to the crafting page and show you how to make your first gem out of the acquired fragments, but that's as far as it'll go.  There are dozens of combinations to learn and several different ways to use the oculi.  In game tutorials could have been a little more helpful, but it's nothing that can't be cured by perusing your favorite gaming site to read about what each oculi does and its secret combinations.

The object of the game is to reclaim the sun, moon, and the stars during three different boss fights.  These battles are significantly longer than most, but not much harder.  In fact the game will probably feel a little on the easy side, especially for the hard-core gamer.  The mature gamer will just enjoy the tale being told and the fun combat to be had.  There is one minor hiccup.  The last boss fight felt a little rushed.  You'll traverse whole levels, fighting many different creatures to locate two of the three bosses, but the last battle will sneak up on you when you're least expecting it.  It felt abrupt, as if the developers were out of time and just decided to end the story right there.

"Don't cry like a puss, you dirty old hag...

Your shriveled up face is starting to sag...

I'm just here for some frigging directions...

Now point the way before I add to your face, a few imperfections."

HOW THE STORY IS TOLD:

This by far could be the only problem you have with Child of Light.  If you're expecting this smaller game to have voice acting throughout, then you might be a tad disappointed.  The initial start of the game and a couple of the major story events have voice-over explaining the tale, but the majority of the game will be have to be read.  Every conversation, every character interaction, and every quest will be dictated through the written word.  If you don't like having to read in a game, then this might be your first turn-off.  The second turn-off could be the four line rhymes in which the story is presented.  It makes sense to tell the story as if you’re reading a child's fairy tale, but a lot of the dialogue seems forced into a rhyme, making the plot harder to decipher.  Think Shakespeare.  You know it's English, but you may have to read it a couple of times to figure out what the hell they're saying.  It's a shame, because stopping to understand what's going on will take you out of the immersion, making the nursery rhymes a bit of a distraction.  There's also the uncomplicated and very straightforward plot being told.  Twists are nonexistent and there's nothing you haven't seen or heard before, but luckily the fun combat and gameplay make up for the lack of original story.

REPLAY VALUE:

Except for a few side quests that could easily be obtained and beaten during your initial play-through, there are only the hidden confession letters that may make you replay (or at least travel back to) certain parts of the world in search of finding them all.  There is a game plus mode, allowing you to keep your upgrades and gems, and then replay the story with harder enemies, but without trophies or achievements, most gamers will probably decline another play-through.

 

"I'm wasting my time, looking for water...

Why doesn't the old man have his own frigging daughter?

Now I'm lost, is it up or is it down...

To hell with this quest, I'm better off drowned."

CONCLUSION:

Child of Light is a fantastic casual RPG that shows even small games can be just as—if not more—entertaining than their AAA brothers.  With a pleasant fairy tale theme, gorgeous art, a simplistic yet deep upgrading system, and only a 10 to 12 hour play-through, there are many reasons for a gamer to enjoy Child of Light.  If you don't like having to read through nursery rhymes or fight enemies using a turn-based battle system, then you might want to pass.  For all other gamers, Child of Light should definitely be on your "to play" list.

4 out of 5 Stars (minus a star for cliché rhyming story)