In
a world filled with pale, diamond-encrusted vampires that just want to love,
play baseball, and frolic in the woods, this film kicks those Tween pitfalls in
the nuts by combining lingerie, strip clubs, brothels, drugs, blood baths (literally), and diseases, creating a
fresh take on the stereotypical vampire genre.
Forget vampiric bites that overtake the body like a virus. These vamps are created in a clandestine
island hut. Yep, you read that
right. Welcome to the wonderful world of
Byzantium.
"Shh...I can swear I hear the ice cream truck coming."
STORY:
Clara
(Gemma Arterton) has only known one profession throughout her sad, yet
determined life: prostitution. And when
her past mistakes finally catch up to her, she's left with only one option:
grab her daughter, Eleanor (Saoirse Ronan), and run. When they finally stop at a boating village
and decide to stay, luck strikes in the form of an almost worthless man. But this worthless man—who was just out for a
quickie from the town's new whore—happens to be the proud owner of Hotel
Byzantium. Clara seeing nothing but
opportunity drags her daughter and this man into her sexually-fueled dream of
running a brothel. But the aspiration of
becoming the mother hen in a house full of prostitutes might come crashing
down, because Clara forgot to mention that she and her daughter are both two
hundred year old vampires. Oops. Rolling hills, beautiful cinematography, drug
dealing, rape, decapitations, and blood flowing waterfalls ensue.
Hey, when you smell bad enough, you'll shower under anything.
THOUGHTS:
The
story of Byzantium opens with Clara's daughter, Eleanor, scribing her story on
notebook pages and then crumbling and tossing them into the wind. Why?
Because unlike Clara, who only knows how to lie to get ahead in life,
Eleanor, only knows how to tell the truth.
And if she can't tell humans the truth about her curse—being immortal is so hard nowadays when
stacked atop boy lust and a large number of Facebook friends—she'll spend
an eternity writing it down, over and over again, only to throw it away soon
after.
This
is the only film in recent history that has such an eye-opening split
beginning. It starts off with beautiful
scenery and score, letting the viewer believe this will be a poetic tale of
sweet and humble vampires, and then BAM—cuts directly to a strip club with loud
thumping bass, and Gemma Arterton giving a lap dance. In fact, these scene splits exist throughout
the entire movie, showcasing the extreme difference between mother and
daughter. You'll share the love, affection
and burden of Eleanor and then be snapped back to the bitter truth and utterly
failed life of her mother Clara. But as
the story unfolds between modern day and two centuries ago, you come to realize
this film is much more about a mother trying to do what's best for her
daughter, then two vampires living the blood sucking life.
"It'll be okay, honey. I'll just whore myself like before and everything will go back to normal."
If
you enjoyed Neil Jordan's (director) Interview with the Vampire or the
coming-of-age story between a young vampire and boy in Let the Right One In,
then Jordan's Byzantium will satisfy your thirst for vampires who suffer from
human conditions. You may not identify
with immortal life or sucking blood-soaked rags or killing the elderly or maybe
even holding on to a secret for two hundred years, but you will feel sympathy
for the duo having money troubles, relationship problems, and wanting to be
free.
Now,
you've probably read all that and are thinking: "Love and affection are alright, but I want to see a ton of killing and
blood sucking." Well, you're
almost in luck. Blood sucking and
killing are present and accounted for, but they aren't used to drive the
plot. The blood sucking only comes as a
means to an end for the female vampire duo.
Instead, you'll watch more scenes of Eleanor trying to come to terms
with spending eternity as a sixteen year old girl and wanting to share
affection with a boy named Frank (Caleb Landry Jones-Banshee from X-men: First
Class); and many more scenes of Clara running in lingerie and high heels,
attempting to have sex with every lonely man in the vicinity, and also the story
of her becoming a vampire. There will
still be moments that you’d wish a few minutes of teenage-love were cut to show
some over-the-top carnage, but you can’t win them all.
"Who loads a dishwasher like that?! Dammit! Now I have to look for a new boyfriend...again."
Ronan
and Arterton fit their given roles flawlessly.
Ronan's facial expressions and body language, and the film's eerie
score, make you feel sympathy for the character as you discover more bits of
her story and watch her take helpless lives.
Arterton on the other hand, uses all her "assets" to showcase
the carefree sexual drive needed for Clara, but also frightening determination
when it comes to survival of her daughter.
And all second rate characters remain plot devices to keep the movie
clogs turning, clearly showcasing this is as a Ronan and Arterton tale. But don't let that discourage you, because
you’re not watching this film to see the brothel's whores ask Eleanor for a
roll in the hay…right? Well, maybe you are. Either way then, you should be pleased.
"Look at all the lives I've destroyed."
TWO REASONS SOME
WILL HATE IT:
Number
one: If you're looking for the classic take on the vampire, you need not
apply. This movie offers a new species
of vampire that are born on a secluded island that can only be found with a
special map. So if you need the super-fast,
ridiculously strong, disappearing-into-a-bat
vamp, then you might want to sit this one out.
And number two: this is a character driven story about the only two
female vampires in the world, struggling to survive in a vampire club only
meant for men. This is not a
straight-up, chainsaw-your-face-off
horror flick.
"No matter how exquisite, breasts just aren't allowed in our club."
CONCLUSION:
Byzantium
is a fresh take on the fantasy vampire genre, but yet stays grounded by keeping
the story focused on a mother and the lengths at which she will go to keep her
daughter safe. Having the film switch
back and forth between the tragic upbringing of Clara and Eleanor's sweet, but
flawed coming of age story, helps keep the narrative from becoming clichéd or
stale. So if you need a date-night vampiric
treat this Halloween, but don't want to go full throttle tear-an-arm-off-and-beat-a-zombie-with-it horror, then this is your
choice.
3.5
out of 5 stars (minus one and a half
stars for slightly not enough vampire carnage)
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