DVD Movie Review - Knights of Badassdom

Knights of Badassdom uses old-school special effects to garner a bit of respect.  It's just too bad they're surrounded by theatrics and acting you'd likely find at a backyard barbecue.

STORY:

Joe (Ryan Kwanten from True Blood) has recently lost his girlfriend because he's a mechanic and she needs someone better to quell her nether region fire.  With a heavy heart he stumbles back to his house/castle and his two friends Eric (Steve Zahn from Mind Games) and Hung (Peter Dinklage from Game of Thrones) attempt to make it all better by forcing him to do bong hits and drink like a fish.  When Joe finally passes out, he's dressed and dragged to the fantastical world of LARP: live action role playing.  Where grown men and women don Halloween or homemade costumes and fight brilliant battles with foam swords and cardboard shields.  Where does this spectacle take place?  Well, mostly in a dusty parking lot and occasionally in the nearby woods.  In the midst of running around like kooks, Eric uses a book he bought from the Internet to cast a spell.  The problem is the book is actually centuries old and the spell brings a real succubus into the world.  Can their fake training with fantasy weapons be enough to rid the world of a most heinous beast?  Only eighty five minutes of your time will tell.  Smoke bombs, fake blood, embarrassing situations, and demon hunting ensue.

"Hey, man, just because I'm wearing my mother's curtains, doesn't mean you 

can talk to me that way."

THOUGHTS:

At first glance, Knights of Badassdom comes off as a movie with a budget of about three to four hundred dollars.  But after viewing, there's a good chance it was probably much, much less.  Some of the actors might have actually worked for free and the film shot over a long weekend, saving cost and everyone's vacation time from their real job.  If you've seen a LARP game in person or have headed to a comic convention, then you can already guess the costume quality of the film.  Knights of Badassdom knows exactly what it is and exactly who it's catering to, which creates a slight problem: the film alienates the rest of the population that exists outside the realm of magic card games and twenty-sided die.

WHO'LL LOVE IT?

Anyone who participates in Cosplay, D&D or LARP.

WHO WON'T UNDERSTAND IT?

Pretty much everyone else.

"Listen, Joey, video games are one thing, but running around in a parking lot, 

swinging sticks...just doesn't do it for me anymore."

HOW'S THE ACTING?

If you've seen Peter Dinklage on the movie poster and are expecting the greatness he dishes out in Game of Thrones, you might be in for a rude awakening.  Most of his lines are flat and boring, and it seems like he's in front of the camera because he owes someone a favor.  A Lannister he is not.  Ryan Kwanten gives the performance you'd expect: a somewhat level-headed guy that's just looking for love, without all the running around naked trying to bed vampires.  Summer Glau plays Gwen, the love interest throughout the film.  But don't expect any great story to unfold.  She's just a girl Joe ends up talking to out of a lack of options.  Danny Pudi from Community fame stops by for a free lunch and a bathroom scene involving gallons of fake blood.  And then there's the succubus played by Margarita Levieva.  She actually fits the role well and helps pull you back into the movie, instead of making it seem like you’re watching a Halloween party in your neighbor's yard.

Holding this under-cooked gem together are two actors.  Steve Zahn, who puts everything he has into every line and gives a decent performance no matter what he seems to be wearing or doing.  And Jimmi Simpson from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Simpson plays the over-the-top Game Master and his lines and facial expressions are comedic gold.  He's in a good portion of the film, but should have had even more screen time as his scenes are the most memorable.

"Behold, my children, the wooden throne!"

"Looks like dilapidated outhouse to me."

MORE THOUGHTS:

The silly plot in the beginning only becomes sillier as time rolls on.  So letting go of logic will improve your viewing experience.  Fortunately, the film does get better once it transitions into a B-movie horror flick.  After the official LARP game starts and the succubus is summoned, people start to die.  A lot of people start to die—even some of the main people, which is actually a good thing.  This is when your smiles and chuckles subside and the real fun and hysterics begin, causing actual laughing out loud.  It's just too bad you have to wait about forty minutes for that to happen. 

So around the hour mark, with twenty minutes or so left, you might find yourself enjoying the film.  But then the ending scene occurs.  And it's not the old school costumed demon that sucks the fun out of everything.  Or the horrific choreography that goes into the last sword fight.  Nope.  It's the way the demon is dispatched that'll make you cringe and then turn away out of sheer embarrassment.  We'll refrain from spoiling it here, but let's just say it does bring back memories of terrible 80's music videos.

"Are you trying to tell me, you don't feel even slightly cool, running around in the woods 

with fake armor, and fake swords, yelling fake things?"

CONCLUSION:

Once you get passed the Halloween Adventure costumes, silly plot, mediocre dialogue, and ridiculous choreography, the rest of the movie isn't that bad.  It's actually the horror aspect and the slight revenge story that save Knights of Badassdom from becoming a total mess.  One might even classify this movie as being so bad that it travels full circle and actually becomes good.  So if you're into D&D, Cosplay, LARP, or low-budget horror flicks, then this movie will be a triumph in cinema history.  For everyone else, you might want to rent it…or stay clear all together.

2.5 out of 5 Stars (minus 2 1/2 stars for acting, costumes, and dialogue)

DVD Movie Review - The Wolf of Wall Street

Get ready to strap on your sick sense of humor, because The Wolf of Wall Street gives a new definition to the word obscene.  This movie is a raunchy roller coaster of up and down thrills, gut-busting hysterics, drug-induced decisions, and drunken debauchery that'll keep you laughing for three straight hours.

STORY:

Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) wants to be a millionaire stockbroker, but legal stockbroking might take a little more time than he expected.  Using his suave looks, unbelievable charm and ability to sucker people into buying anything, he creates his own firm and leads a life filled with drugs, hookers, money, and entertainment beyond anyone's wildest imagination.  The kicker?  The story is true and the real Jordan Belfort has come out and said his life was even crazier than what was depicted on film.  Midget tossing, cocaine, sex, aged Quaaludes, cursing, spectacular drunk helicopter landings, underwear clad marching bands, and real life ridiculousness ensues.

"Do you see this?  I wipe my ass with exactly twelve of these a day."

THOUGHTS:

If last week's film, American Hustle, was the king of subtle humor, The Wolf of Wall Street is the complete other end of the comedy spectrum.  The crap that goes on in this film is so outrageous and unexpected that it'll keep you laughing and gagging on popcorn for hours.  This is the type of movie that after you've seen it, you'll want to show it and force it down everyone's throat, just so you can relive the jokes and unforgettable scenes over and over again.  The Wolf of Wall Street knows how ridiculous it is and uses that to its advantage.  Scorsese has DiCaprio talk directly to the audience, breaking the "Forth Wall", allowing the voice-over narrating to become some of the funniest dialogue you've ever heard.

Leonardo DiCaprio has been in so many fantastic films throughout his career that it's hard to pinpoint his greatest role…until now.  Watching him transition from a wet-behind-the-ears stocker broker to the power house that he becomes is acting at its finest.  He's unbelievably charismatic as Jordan Belfort, not to mention, funny, motivational, intelligent, slippery, outrageous, loud, and obnoxious.  If you enjoyed DiCaprio taking people for a ride in Catch Me If You Can, then this is just the next step up in the evolutionary ladder.  Even if you hate Leonardo, this movie will garner at least some respect after viewing.  He's perfect for the role and no one in Hollywood would have been able to come close to this comedic behavior.

"You really got a gift."

"Really I--"

"Yes, you do."

"No, seriously I just--"

"YES, YOU DO."

Not only is the humorous plot contagious, or the story remarkable, but the actors/actresses are having the time of their life shooting this film.  Jonah Hill dons gigantic white teeth, scary wide eyes, and curly hair to mend perfectly into Jordan's pedophile-looking right-hand man.  His scenes involving hookers and drugs are unmatched in their hilarity.  McConaughey stops by for a quick cameo that's equal parts weird, truthful, disgusting, and whimsical.  He plays the man that first introduces Jordan to stocks and drugs, and also helps explain how the whole operation is nothing more than fairy dust.  Jon Bernthal from the Walking Dead lands his funniest role yet, as Jordan's boy, Brad, who’s the Quaalude king of his hometown and spends his free time weightlifting and respecting his own biceps.  Rob Reiner is perfect as Jordan's father and the firm's enforcer of sane behavior.  He tries to be the voice of reason for his son, but never quite accomplishes his goal.  And last but not least, is Margot Robbie, who plays Jordan's ex-model trophy wife.  Her accent and mannerisms of a tough New York woman, only fall second to her beauty and amazing ability to make any ordinary lingerie, absolutely phenomenal.

"Zombies, Jonah...zombies!  They're everywhere."

"Cut!  Who gave Mr. DiCaprio another candy bar?  We all know sugar makes him rambunctious."

WHAT'S THE COST OF THE HUMOR & WHO WON'T WATCH IT:

This movie remains light and comedic even though it portrays some of the worst behavior for a human being on the planet.  You will have to take everything for face value though, and understand that living the way Jordan does can only lead to absolute failure at some point.  But the object here is to watch and enjoy the ride of a shooting star, because even the real Jordan Belfort sees this story as a comedy.

Another put-off of the film is the sheer determination to hold nothing back.  Everything is thrown at you in the first five minutes.  If you can't handle depictions of drugs and their effects, alcoholics, hookers, cursing every other word, full frontal and rear nudity, or just loud and obnoxious people in general, then this movie shouldn't even be in the same zip code as yourself.  It takes the film's "R" rating and pisses all over it and then douses it in alcohol and sets it on fire.  There's also plenty of sex contained within the movie, but not like the extreme erotica found in late night Cinemax.  No, even the sex scenes remain light and comedic.  So if you live in a convent, then odds are you won't be watching this film any time soon, if not at all.

"Are you sure her hand isn't in the shot?"

"Trust us, Leo, it's not in the shot."

"Cause it sure does feel like it's in the shot." 

CONCLUSION:

The Wolf of Wall Street is an addictive laugh riot.  Once you hit the play button, it's damn hard to press stop.  It'll be one of those movies that if it’s on TV, you'll tune in even if there are only a few minutes left.  Why…because there really isn't a dull minute throughout the three hours of film.  You'll even want more once it's over.  With fantastic acting, outrageous laughs, phenomenal music, and obnoxious dialogue, The Wolf of Wall Street is one of Scorsese's and DiCaprio's best movies to date.

5 out of 5 Stars (Aged Quaalude driving FTW)

DVD Movie Review - American Hustle

American Hustle seamlessly blends late 1970's clothing, fashionable hair, outrageous dialogue, and subtle humor for a masterful work of cinema fiction.

STORY:

Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale) a level-headed con man teams up with the sensual over-achieving Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams) to create a bank loaning firm called London Associates.  Everything about the new firm screams legitimate, except every cheery investor never makes any money and never, ever gets any of their initial investment back.  Making London Associates the greatest con ever pulled by Irving.  So what's the problem?  One, Sydney is in love with Irving, but he has a wife, a house, and an adopted son, rendering their relationship a tad troubling.  And two, an FBI agent named Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper), gets wind of the duo's business practices and decides to try and make a name for himself.  Pompadours, piano playing cats, dirty dancing, and science-ovens ensue.

"You keep shaking your head no, but it's true.  There's a bird stuck up in my hair somewhere, and 

I intend to find it.  Now, I'll ask again.  Will you help me?"

THOUGHTS:

David O. Russell from Silver Linings Playbook and The Fighter returns with almost every member from each cast, creating an ensemble of talent and word-slinging just shy of greatness.  From Bale's horrific comb-over and sheer sloppiness, to fantastic music like "How can you mend a broken heart" from the Bee Gees, there's a lot to love about American Hustle.

This film easily lets you see what the next two hours will be like in the first five minutes.  It starts in almost absolute silence as Christian Bale works his fabulous comb-over in the mirror, using wrist flicks to thicken the hair and all kinds of adhesives to keep it perfectly in place.  Background music kicks in and Bradley Cooper appears saying, "If I wanted to bother you, this is what I'd do," and completely wrecks the complicated comb-over.  If that opening doesn't make you chuckle, crack a smile, or even let out a sniff, then you might be in for a very long, non-humorous movie.  Some viewers may also find the plot slightly hard to follow.  And that's why it's just shy of greatness.  But if the opening scene does tickle your fancy, then you'll love this film.

"What is that...Elmer's?"

The Batman (Bale) is superb here.  No, he doesn't wear any tight black outfits and he also doesn't have a voice that mimics an old stuttering car engine.  He's fat and hairy, but has an air of confidence about him that women can't seem to get enough of.  He pulls off a con man/thief easily, and you'll find yourself rooting for him throughout the story, even though he's stealing people's money to pay for his own bills and entertainment.  Adding to Bale's perfect acting is his comb-over, which becomes a gag and star in and of itself.  There's a scene where Irving is attempting to have a conversation, but the comb-over won't stop coming undone.  Bale's facial expressions and behavior are impeccable in the over-the-top situation.

Breaking News: the first picture of the Batman surfaces after spending just a year with Selina Kyle. 

It has now been confirmed that yes, she does like to cook.

Amy Adams is the seductress of the film, wearing skin tight, almost see-through outfits that'll keep most men's eyes everywhere but on her face.  Even though most of her films cast her as the cute, naive girlfriend, she falls into the English accent and man-eater profile without a hitch.  Cooper's childish tendencies and silly behavior from Silver Linings comes back here, alongside a hint of eagerness and too much ambition without any intelligence to back it up.  Jennifer Lawrence is phenomenal as Irving's nutty housewife that has freakish fire fetishes and missing morals, but somehow manages to control every man she meets.  Her scenes (the "flowers and garbage" nail polish for example) are short, but they'll be the ones you'll remember.  Jeremy Renner dons a humongous pompadour and plays lovable Mayor Carmine Polito.  He has a hilarious accent mixed with terrible ethics, and an amazing ability to help needy people with only stolen money.  His duet scene with a fat, drunken Bale singing Tom Jones' "My Delilah" is charming, disgusting, and side-splitting all at the same time.  And Bobby De Niro pops in for a strenuous cameo, while Louis C. K. gets leg humped by a hysterical laughing Cooper.

"Shh...shh, it's okay.  It's okay.  These curlers may look like a mistake now, but in a few hours 

you won't be able to keep your hands off me.

To make it very easy on you, if you liked Silver Linings Playbook and thought it hilarious at times, then you'll love American Hustle.  The appealing qualities of SLP are mixed with wit and subtle humor, making the real star of the film the writing and dialogue.  So keep your ears open, because some of the crap falling out of the actor's mouths is too whimsical to let slip by.  On top of that, each and every actor/actress in the story appears to be having a ton of fun on set and in character, giving the movie a comical, charismatic tone.  Even though the plot can be heavy-handed at times and become somewhat convoluted, just sit back and enjoy the goofiness of it all.  By the end all the subplots and different meandering routes come together in a nice outlandish package.

"He jammed a fork in my eye!"

"Yes, but I did it out of love and respect."

CONCLUSION:

American Hustle does away with action sets or mystery plot lines and instead, relies on superb dialogue, funny situations, fantastic acting, and a hilarious time period to keep your attention.  If you loved Silver Linings Playbook, then this film is a no-brainer.  American Hustle is the perfect blend of phenomenal cast, music, story, and wit.  There is a chance that it may be a tad slow to some viewers or slightly hard to follow, but either way, American Hustle isn't the type of movie to be missed.

4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus 1/2 Star for a slightly convoluted plot)

DVD Movie Review - Homefront

By now, if you're going to see or rent or buy a Statham movie, then you already know what to expect.  The film most likely will not be Oscar bait.  Simple dialogue will run throughout, action will be prevalent, and someone, somewhere, at some point, will be getting kicked in the face. These are Statham trademarks, and as such, from here on out, P&P will use a new Statham system to rate each of his movies.  One Statham being the worst (think Parker) to five Stathams being the best (think The Transporter).  Just keep in mind that a five Statham rating doesn't necessarily mean the film is as good as a regular five star review. 

It's finally been proven: Jason Statham can smile.  What you don't know is right after this 

screenshot, he punches that cake right in the face.

STORY:

Phil Broker (Jason Statham) a former DEA agent moves to a small town to get away from crappy city life.  But silly rednecks just won't let the man rest, especially if he happened to punch one of their redneck buddies in the face.  After a school incident with Broker's daughter, a local meth dealer named Morgan 'Gator' Bodine (James Franco) gets involved in his life.  What Gator doesn't know is Broker is a tough daddy, and tough daddies don't take crap from anyone.  Headless stuffed bunnies, jean jackets, meth whores, and fatherhood ensues.

"As soon as I get my chance, I'm sneaking into that house and sniffing each and every 

chair until I pass out from hyperventilation."

THOUGHTS:

This is a Jason Statham movie.  There will be no overly dramatic dialogue consisting of hurt feelings or upset lover quarrels.  Fists to the face will drown out any hopes of character study or development.  And at some point, even though the protagonist may be outnumbered or outgunned, it really won't matter, because he will always get his man in the end.  If you're alright with all those Statham facts, then you'll have no problem with this movie.

"Do you know what we're gonna do with 200 pounds of white powder?"

"Bake some cakes?"

"Not just some--all of them.  We're baking every cake there is."

Homefront is reminiscent of Safe: a little girl needs protecting—in this case his daughter—and protect her, he will, no matter what the cost.  (Don't think you've already seen this plot.  You might have seen versions of it, but when you really get down to it, everything today is somewhat recycled anyway.  And there may be clichés lingering about, but there are also a few surprises.)  In Homefront, Statham is trying to be a small town dad that wears simple trucker hats and spends all his free time fixing a simple country house.  All he wants is to be left alone.  But when you're an ex-DEA agent, sometimes your past catches up with you.

Statham delivers the best acting he can, while also remaining a likable character and loving father.  His scenes with his daughter are ideal for the plot and the ass-beatings he dishes out are fast and brutal.  He might even be the perfect dad.  Wait…what do you mean by perfect?  Well, if anyone gets in his kid's face, they'll likely find their head going through some type of glass and then eventually bouncing off the ground.  Wouldn't you want a dad that kept going even after he's been drowned and beat several times with a tire-iron?  Sure you would.  And that's exactly who Statham plays in this story. 

"Are you enjoying your ride, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, Daddy."

"Good.  Cause it's time you really learned how to survive, so when we get back, we're gonna 

cook 'em and eat 'em.  Just like my grandpappy did in the old west."

"But...that doesn't make sense, you have a British accent."

"Enough talking for today.  Let's go make some burgers."  

The film introduces Izabela Vidovic as Maddy Broker, Statham's tough, but caring daughter.  She has a young Chloe Grace Moretz vibe and can act better than almost anyone in the movie.  Her scenes with Stratham are touching and she's not too much of a slouch when it comes to fighting either.  James Franco plays—surprise—a lunatic, yet somewhat gullible, meth dealer.  Even if there are a couple of times you want to laugh at his facial expressions, Franco still slips easily into a greasy-redneck-peeping-Tom that rips heads off of dolls.  Winona Ryder seems to have moved up in life, portraying a meth whore that likes sex up against dirty old cars.  If there's one person that delivers flat, clichéd dialogue that only moves the plot forward, it'll be her.  Kate Bosworth stops by to also play a strung out meth whore, and Clancy Brown portrays a town sheriff that really isn't needed at all.  But none of that matters, because you came for the brutality.

The fight scenes are spaced out perfectly throughout Homefront.  There's not as much action as the Transporter, but what is here should make any Statham fan happy.  The camera angles come in tight and the lightning fists and feet are jazzed up with ground tactics, head smashing, and joint locks.  It's like the transporter went to the local mixed martial arts gym and practiced for a while.  But it's not all fists of fury.  Gun clips are unloaded, cars get chased, and explosions usually finish whatever has been started.  Even though it's a father protecting his daughter, this is still an action movie before anything else.

"Well, Honey, I've killed just about everyone in town, so we should be safe...at least 

for a little while."

CONCLUSION:

Homefront will give you the much needed Statham fix you've been craving.  The dialogue can be laughable, the ending might sit on a pile of cliché trash, and some characters may be completely unnecessary, but it's still Statham-tastic nonetheless.  If you came for barbaric fights and testosterone contests, then you're in good hands.  You might even find a well-rounded father/daughter relationship hidden within the Stallone screenplay.  After a terrible film called Parker and the not-so-Statham Redemption, Homefront returns big Jay to where he should be: kicking ass first and asking questions later.

3.5 out of 5 Stathams (minus 1 1/2 Stathams for unnecessary characters and average amount of action)

DVD Movie Review - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Disclaimer: this movie is being reviewed by a thirty-something male and not by a teenage girl that understands life through episodes of Jersey Shore and Teen Mom.  If by chance you find the Hunger Games to be wonderful, do not continue on.  You have been warned.  Also, some spoilers may occur.  But who really cares?

It's been a while since P&P had the pleasure of talking about the beloved Hunger Games, and now here we are…mere days away from its inevitable release and once again millions of nether regions are aflame with anticipation.  To mark the occasion, the powers that be are releasing the Hunger Games: Catching Fire on Friday, March 7th, effectively showing us that such an Oscar worthy film should be put on a pedestal and have its very own release day.  But why stop there?  Why not a Hunger Games Holiday?  What better way to mark this stupendous occasion, than by offering a day free of work and obligations, so family members could sit by the fire, put in the DVD, and begin gouging each other's eyes out. 

"I thought this was gym class?  Why's everyone naked and touching each other in special places?"

STORY:

Katniss (The Oscar winning Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta (The never Oscar nominated Josh Hutcherson) are back to their old antics again, depressing audiences nationwide and re-falling in love.  Or are they?  Hmmm?  Along the way, big bad President Snow (Donny Sutherland) decides to change the Hunger Games rules and throw past winners back into the ring.  Oh no!  What's a hunger girl to do?  After the worst display of movie love-triangles, Katniss heads back into the lion's den to try and save the day.  Can she overcome bad acting and silly names?  Only two and a half hours of your precious time will tell.  Deadly fogs, angry monkeys, and the silliest premise ensue.

"Oh my God!  Jennifer did it.  She won.  That means it's only inevitable that I get one too."

"Josh, honey, listen to your mother...don't hold your breath."

THOUGHTS:

Before we get rolling on this Hunger train, please head over to our initial review of the Hunger Games to really understand our thoughts on the film's premise.  Only then can you truly comprehend the depth of which we are about to go.  Hold on to your valuables, because this ride is about to get bumpy.

Catching Fire can be easily divided up into three parts: the beginning love triangle, the games, and finally the somewhat aftermath (it's "somewhat" because the film really doesn't end inasmuch as it just dies).  The love triangle aspect hangs around for about an hour, leaving the remaining time to feature Survivor-esque team-ups and PG-13 non-killings.  And since P&P is always generous to our readers, allow us to give you the shortened version of what really happened during the love triangle fiasco.  Then you can simply fast forward to the games, without missing a beat.

 "Please!  Don't let them take me away!  Not like this.  Not by two men in pajamas 

and foam shoulder pads!"

And now a brief reenactment of the first act (A.K.A. the love triangle):

"Do you love him?"  The other guy asked.

"Who?"  Katniss answered, batting her eyes.

"Him?  You know…Peter, or Petro, or—"

"Peeta?  Gale, my love, you know it was just an act to survive the games."

"But now you're marrying him?"

"Yes.  But I'm turkey hunting with you."

This has been a brief reenactment.  We can now return to your regularly scheduled review.

"If you think plastic helmets and grey tracksuits scare me...Ha!  Think again, my friend.  

Think...again."

If you're like most, the actual slaying in the games may be the only thing helping you through the experience.  Unfortunately, the games don't last as long as the first movie.  In fact, the games are cut quite short this time around.  Sure you may get a dash of murderous fog here, or a pinch of angry monkey there; but overall, more excitement has been had during the curling competitions at the Olympics.  And then the movie ends, but not before the huge twisting reveal that you saw coming ten minutes into the first movie.

In the time following the original Hunger Games, our heroine, Jenny Lawrence, has obtained the holy grail of awards and still she looks as bored as ever.  It's really not her fault as we've seen superb acting and humor flow out of her in both the Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle.  It's amazing the impact an excellent director, great writing, and a solid cast will have on an actress.  On the other hand, the magic between Lawrence and Hutcherson or even Hemsworth is so lousy, you could easily find more chemistry between two toasters nestled together on a shelf.

"If these pectorals don't say I love you, Bella, I don't know--"

"Cut!  How many times do we have to tell you?  This isn't Twilight."

There are, however, a few actors wasting their talents in this film, attempting to bring a below par story up to about sea level: Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland, and Philip Seymour Hoffman.  These thespians should be commended at least with a golf clap as the movie sinks.  Elizabeth Banks could almost be likable if it wasn't for her over-acting and ridiculous outfits.  And Stanley Tucci seems to be the only person that knows how comical the story is and uses that to his advantage.

There is one redeeming aspect of the movie: the political undertones.  But unfortunately they're only touched on in a few spots, leaving most of the plot to fester in makeshift love stories and twists you already know are coming.  There could have been a lot to learn from a society enslaved by a tyrannical leader like President Snow—especially for younger audiences—so thank goodness the writers and production crew decided to gloss over it like broccoli stranded on a plate of spaghetti.

"They've done it.  They've really done it."

"Yeah.  Splitting the last book into two terrible movies.  Unbelievable."

CONCLUSION:

Just like the first movie, Catching Fire continues to beat the snot out of a foolish premise, push a nonexistent love story, and leave dead bodies in the wake of a PG-13 rating.  This movie could've amped up the killing and action, giving boyfriends everywhere at least some respect, but alas, it leaves them no other option but to lie and say they were at the ballet.  The acting in the Hunger Games: Catching Fire slightly improves, but with dialogue reminiscent of Sci-Fi B-movies, the film proudly remains a waste of two and a half hours.  The upside is you could always do something much more productive with your time like fly swatting, basket weaving, or sleeping.

2 out of 5 stars (needed a little more cowbell)