Saturday, March 29, 2014

DVD Movie Review - Knights of Badassdom


Knights of Badassdom uses old-school special effects to garner a bit of respect.  It's just too bad they're surrounded by theatrics and acting you'd likely find at a backyard barbecue.

STORY:
Joe (Ryan Kwanten from True Blood) has recently lost his girlfriend because he's a mechanic and she needs someone better to quell her nether region fire.  With a heavy heart he stumbles back to his house/castle and his two friends Eric (Steve Zahn from Mind Games) and Hung (Peter Dinklage from Game of Thrones) attempt to make it all better by forcing him to do bong hits and drink like a fish.  When Joe finally passes out, he's dressed and dragged to the fantastical world of LARP: live action role playing.  Where grown men and women don Halloween or homemade costumes and fight brilliant battles with foam swords and cardboard shields.  Where does this spectacle take place?  Well, mostly in a dusty parking lot and occasionally in the nearby woods.  In the midst of running around like kooks, Eric uses a book he bought from the Internet to cast a spell.  The problem is the book is actually centuries old and the spell brings a real succubus into the world.  Can their fake training with fantasy weapons be enough to rid the world of a most heinous beast?  Only eighty five minutes of your time will tell.  Smoke bombs, fake blood, embarrassing situations, and demon hunting ensue.

"Hey, man, just because I'm wearing my mother's curtains, doesn't mean you 
can talk to me that way."

THOUGHTS:
At first glance, Knights of Badassdom comes off as a movie with a budget of about three to four hundred dollars.  But after viewing, there's a good chance it was probably much, much less.  Some of the actors might have actually worked for free and the film shot over a long weekend, saving cost and everyone's vacation time from their real job.  If you've seen a LARP game in person or have headed to a comic convention, then you can already guess the costume quality of the film.  Knights of Badassdom knows exactly what it is and exactly who it's catering to, which creates a slight problem: the film alienates the rest of the population that exists outside the realm of magic card games and twenty-sided die.

WHO'LL LOVE IT?
Anyone who participates in Cosplay, D&D or LARP.

WHO WON'T UNDERSTAND IT?
Pretty much everyone else.

"Listen, Joey, video games are one thing, but running around in a parking lot, 
swinging sticks...just doesn't do it for me anymore."

HOW'S THE ACTING?
If you've seen Peter Dinklage on the movie poster and are expecting the greatness he dishes out in Game of Thrones, you might be in for a rude awakening.  Most of his lines are flat and boring, and it seems like he's in front of the camera because he owes someone a favor.  A Lannister he is not.  Ryan Kwanten gives the performance you'd expect: a somewhat level-headed guy that's just looking for love, without all the running around naked trying to bed vampires.  Summer Glau plays Gwen, the love interest throughout the film.  But don't expect any great story to unfold.  She's just a girl Joe ends up talking to out of a lack of options.  Danny Pudi from Community fame stops by for a free lunch and a bathroom scene involving gallons of fake blood.  And then there's the succubus played by Margarita Levieva.  She actually fits the role well and helps pull you back into the movie, instead of making it seem like you’re watching a Halloween party in your neighbor's yard.

Holding this under-cooked gem together are two actors.  Steve Zahn, who puts everything he has into every line and gives a decent performance no matter what he seems to be wearing or doing.  And Jimmi Simpson from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Simpson plays the over-the-top Game Master and his lines and facial expressions are comedic gold.  He's in a good portion of the film, but should have had even more screen time as his scenes are the most memorable.

"Behold, my children, the wooden throne!"
"Looks like dilapidated outhouse to me."

MORE THOUGHTS:
The silly plot in the beginning only becomes sillier as time rolls on.  So letting go of logic will improve your viewing experience.  Fortunately, the film does get better once it transitions into a B-movie horror flick.  After the official LARP game starts and the succubus is summoned, people start to die.  A lot of people start to die—even some of the main people, which is actually a good thing.  This is when your smiles and chuckles subside and the real fun and hysterics begin, causing actual laughing out loud.  It's just too bad you have to wait about forty minutes for that to happen. 

So around the hour mark, with twenty minutes or so left, you might find yourself enjoying the film.  But then the ending scene occurs.  And it's not the old school costumed demon that sucks the fun out of everything.  Or the horrific choreography that goes into the last sword fight.  Nope.  It's the way the demon is dispatched that'll make you cringe and then turn away out of sheer embarrassment.  We'll refrain from spoiling it here, but let's just say it does bring back memories of terrible 80's music videos.

"Are you trying to tell me, you don't feel even slightly cool, running around in the woods 
with fake armor, and fake swords, yelling fake things?"

CONCLUSION:
Once you get passed the Halloween Adventure costumes, silly plot, mediocre dialogue, and ridiculous choreography, the rest of the movie isn't that bad.  It's actually the horror aspect and the slight revenge story that save Knights of Badassdom from becoming a total mess.  One might even classify this movie as being so bad that it travels full circle and actually becomes good.  So if you're into D&D, Cosplay, LARP, or low-budget horror flicks, then this movie will be a triumph in cinema history.  For everyone else, you might want to rent it…or stay clear all together.

2.5 out of 5 Stars (minus 2 1/2 stars for acting, costumes, and dialogue)

No comments: