Considering
the action/drama choices that are out on video right now, Snitch seems to fit
into the gem category, even if that isn't where it belongs.
DIE HARD SIDE
NOTE:
The Last Stand, Parker and A Good Day to Die Hard are some of your other action
choices, but I'd rather sit in a barrel of cheese balls and watch grass
grow. If you're looking at the three
titles listed above and are saying: "Hey,
they didn't review A Good Day to Die Hard." Let this act like our formal review: it stinks. It's so bad it's not even worth 1000 words on
this blog. The beloved John McClane from
Die Hard is dead and has been replaced by a fumbling senior citizen who likes
using the word Jesus in almost every sentence.
He's dug a hole so deep, I wouldn't be surprised if he popped up in
China and tried to team-up with Jackie Chan.
"Yes...hi, ummm...they said to show up here and they'd give me a paycheck?"
Returning
to Snitch:
STORY:
John
Matthews (The Rock, a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson)
plays the father of an idiot, Jason Collins (played by Rafi Gavron).
Jason, being as bright as he is, allows his friend to send him a package
containing enough drugs to almost kill Keith Richards. As soon as the package lands at Jason's house,
it's followed by the DEA who put Jason behind bars. The Rock, being the awesome daddy that he is
decides to go out on a limb and snitch on other drug dealers to get his son's
sentence reduced. Crazy drug dealing,
sideway gun pointing, and mad-trucker driving skills ensue.
"What? Are you telling me you wouldn't accept a big box of drugs? Pfft. Whatever."
THOUGHTS:
The
story was written to show the ridiculous federal laws for first-time drug
offenses with intention to sell, but somewhere along the line that message gets
subdued and the father of year award is dished out.
The
Rock, coming off of such highs as Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Tooth Fairy
or Race to Witch Mountain (which he was
nominated for best actor—just kidding, funny though, right?) allows Snitch
to be a welcomed change to the slop formula.
Now, some people out there will yell: "What about Fast Five?"
Yes he's in it, but that's not a Rock film, that's more of a Vin Diesel
story.
"Fine! Go ahead and feel them, before I change my mind."
Now,
if you have any problem with the Rock/Dwayne Johnson, then this movie should
remain on the shelf, because this film is 90% Rock with 10% fill-in characters.
Who are the other characters running around?
Well…there’s Susan Sarandon who happens to play the same character she's
been playing for years—Susan Sarandon.
Barry Pepper dons a long goatee and appears here and there to talk into
microphones and be the voice of reason.
But most of the time these filler characters are just there to move the
plot along, so the Rock can get to his next line.
"Put down the groceries and shave my face. Now dammit! Now!"
Shane
from the Walking Dead (Jon Bernthal)
plays a support role in the film, as the connection to the drug dealers
Matthews needs to turn over to the Feds.
The role also acts as an emotional subplot, but only made me want to get
back to the Rock to see if he'd be cracking anyone's head. (Sadly, no heads were cracked in the making
of the film) Jon Bernthal gives a
justified acting experience for the given role, but nothing that goes above or
beyond. And that's the real problem with
Snitch: everything is passable to remain a solid action/drama, but it isn't
impressive enough to send you running down the street singing the film's
praises.
Mr. Bernthal...Sir, waiting won't do you any good, no zombies are in this movie.
Johnson's
acting is actually perfect. It's just
not superb or Oscar worthy, when you consider the mediocre story and so-so
dialogue. But this makes sense, because
when the Rock is playing a tough guy looking to finish a personal vendetta, he
does well—dressed in a tutu, not so much.
There are just something’s a grown man that size shouldn't do, and a
tutu is one of them.
"Everyone stop! I think I just crapped myself. Will that show through in this color?"
The
first half of the movie can be a little slow, building the tension of a father
out on a limb for his son, but stick with it, as things pick up in the second
half. There aren't any twists or
anything unexpected, and the finish line comes in the exact form you'd
expect.
The
only thing that didn't make any sense to me was how quick everything escalated. Matthews (the
Rock) goes from trying to buy cocaine from street corner thugs, to hauling
hundreds of millions of dollars in cash a couple of days later. It is a film and moving along that quickly
seems definitely doable, but it felt harsh in the writing. Now, don't get me wrong, escalating is good, because that means action will follow quicker. And speaking of action: the fact that the producers had the Rock star in the
film, and didn't have him beat anyone with a tree-trunk or a car door just
seems like a waste. Wouldn't you love to
see him pick up a telephone pole and bash it over some idiot's head? Unfortunately, awesome stuff like that does
not play out, as the film instead remains grounded to real-life situations.
"How many calories are in a CG elephant, again?"
The
message of the film is supposed to point out the fact that people caught up in
stupid drugs offenses can be prosecuted for a decade. There's even a little line at the end
proclaiming rapists and murderers spend less time in prison. I understand that completely, but what I took
away from the film, is that there are fathers out there that will sacrifice
their lives and the lives of the rest of the family for one child. Is that the smart thing to do? That question remains for the individual
alone.
"Is this not the best looking face you've ever seen?"
Ummm...Mr. Johnson, that's not your line.
THE MORALS:
There
are a few really good morals here:
When
in the drug trafficking business, don't except drug packages from anyone, even
if it's your best friend. Because they
will stick it right up your behind, just to save their own ass. And if that's not the greatest moral to take
away from this, maybe the moral is: friends are only your friends until 10
years of prison time is involved. Once
that happens, it's every drug dealing psycho for themselves. Insert back-to-school special here: kids, don't do drugs. It'll lead to your father driving big-rigs
while you get raped in a penitentiary.
Also, if you're the said friend who has already been caught and is
looking for a reduced sentence, simply send a box of meth to your best friend
as a care package, and BAM—only a one to two year sentence with a chance of
getting out after six months. You're
welcome.
I think this picture says enough in its own right, don't you?
CONCLUSION:
If
you're looking for a safe action/drama that won't surprise, but won't let you
down, Snitch is your movie. Solid acting
and a safe story with a fuzzy moral, unfortunately, will only allow this movie
to float in a sea of mediocrity. Hopefully
though, the Rock puts away the tutu and starts down the action/comedy path once
again, that way we get more movies like this or the Rundown.
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